A Weekend Away

My good friend Dan sends me some of the most thought provoking articles.

“I Tried Slow Living in a Remote Welsh Cottage, and This Is What I Learned” by Kayleigh Dray was just what I needed. It was truly perfect timing because I was already fielding questions from mini regarding our trip to NE Texas to visit my parents, aunt, and sister. Her actual words were “What will we do?” Answer: just be. I spent my time wandering around a giant field and watching dozens of hummingbirds. They’re so fun!

In preparation for the visit, I had to move around a run scheduled for Saturday because I knew the humidity would be brutal and incompatible with any running plans. I started a 5k training plan – probably forgot to mention it. Not for a race though. I quickly realized if I’m not training for something, then my tendency to “get around to it” doesn’t motivate me well enough to actually “get around to it” especially where the treadmill is concerned.

Fortunately I have been able to accomplish two outdoor runs, both involving random rain. This is me not complaining. Except for the one that included lightning which made me run faster, it’s been good. Also, it was suggested I try graham crackers before a run. Quick carbs, easy to eat early in the morning before my stomach wakes up – simple, right? Well, my grocery store was out of cinnamon teddy grahams (my preferred alternative to graham crackers). I bought the store brand instead thinking there probably isn’t much difference. Wow. So wrong. Now I need to eat these individual packages of awful, pseudo-teddy grahams. Oh yay.

Thank goodness I can wash it down with ice cream which is exactly what I needed after a weekend of decidedly cooler temperatures (only 95°!) but with much higher humidity. Running out there would have never been a good idea. And it definitely didn’t epitomize the concept of slow living.

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I ask you –

Any interest visiting remote places?

Have you ever bought a food that didn’t taste like expected?

I’m on vacation next week. Should I bring my running shoes this time? I’m thinking yes.

Civilian Mentoring Connection

Picture this: a room full of people and you’re waiting on your name to be called to find out who your mentor will be. Spoiler: I was chosen last. But sometimes they save the best for last because I was paired with an incredible woman we’ll call Big Booty Judy (BBJ). Don’t laugh yet. I had spoken to her via phone many times previously and liked her. Turns out she chose me. The rest is history.

Civilian Mentoring Connection (CMC 101) was something I volunteered for knowing it did have a substantial time commitment. Myself and approximately 10 other people would be meeting twice a week for several months, including meeting with our mentor as often as possible outside of these formal gatherings. Luckily, BBJ understands my job and what I do so we had a mutual agreement to get things on the calendar as soon as possible.

…and then we blew stuff up! Small exaggeration. They did visit EOD which I heard was a lot of fun. It’s been rescheduled a few times since so I’m just waiting my turn for the next time. We’ve also discussed workplace communication, email etiquette, TSP (thrift savings plan), and other things I probably slept through. Kidding! I love this stuff.

Big Booty Judy – is actually the nickname for my mentor’s black Corvette. At our first informal get together, she shared her naming convention with me. Somehow I knew then we were meant to be. She has given me much insight into the world of civil service and helped me navigate some tricky setbacks. If you ever have an opportunity for a mentor – get one! Promise. 14 weeks later, my mentor, Stacey, is still one of the best parts of CMC.

The tenants of civilian mentoring connection are Connect, Grow, & Inspire. Indeed it impacted me in each way. Connect – as I’m inherently a people person anyway, connecting with others is kind of my thing. I love being able to connect with people I work with so this opened up many doors. Grow – I learned more about what other squadrons, groups, and work centers do (and how it accomplishes the overall mission). Growth is multifaceted. Inspire – after two personnel spoke on their journey to complete their doctorate programs, it re-solidified my desire to go back to school. As I’ve already shared many times before. It reminded me of my dream and the different avenues to achieve it.

As our graduation day ended and I reconvened with my partner in crime, Heidi, she asked if I intended to complete CMC 102. Then she gave me a knowing smile and stated “I thought you had school! I thought we were taking a break!”, followed by her words “I’ll do it if you are!”

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I ask you –

Does your workplace offer any mentoring opportunities?

Have you ever participated in a program like CMC?

Share with me a recent graduation accomplishment!

Tell the Truth

Once upon a time…I would take my breakfast to work to eat there. But with the medication I take, I discovered how awful I felt before I even arrived because I had not eaten. Turns out I’m a much happier human when I’m fed.

fancy

Which brings me to this nugget of truth:

H.A.L.T

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

By evaluating the words we say, actions we take, and decisions we make keeping the acronym HALT in mind, I bet you can pinpoint where many conversations or big decision making situations in your life went wrong. What if you evaluated your own internal cues prior to reacting to stressors at work, home, or life in general? Taking care of our basic needs is paramount to successful interactions. Hanger is very real, as is allowing lack of sleep to encourage poor decisions. So, next time, before you react or make a snap judgment, try the HALT method. If you need a snack, go for it. If you need to sleep on a decision, do that. If you’re falling back into destructive behaviors, perhaps it’s time to call a friend who will listen.

Unrelated – as I draw closer to the start date (I have one of those now – September!) of my doctorate program, I recognize this will finally unlock the door to teaching higher education. Some may think it’s not even possible, but I’ve known I wanted to be a teacher since I was 5 yrs old. Really. Don’t ask me how. I just knew then and still know now in my heart and soul I was called to teach. In every career I’ve had I always find myself gravitating toward teaching positions, opportunities to teach others, or advancing my formal schooling with the intent to teach. Now, knowing what I know now, Higher Ed is very political. I get it. And even though my degree(s) are in Public Admin which cater to elected officials and city/state government jobs, it’s never been my intent to become an elected official. Way too empathic. However, I would take my chances at teaching at the university level.

I ran into a college friend a few weeks ago whom I hadn’t seen in person since 2007ish. She’s now a local principal and an adjunct professor at our alma mater. She had some interesting advice for anyone willing to tackle university-level students; it boiled down to the older they get, the more resistant they get. Let’s land this plane, shall we? Instantly I thought of the HALT method. What kind of service are we providing our youth (and ourselves) when getting older is synonymous with resistant? Absolutely rhetorical! I firmly believe we all have more to learn – there’s no end in sight. Honing your craft, sharing your skills, providing a sympathetic ear are just three simple steps. Imagine what could be done if you tried, if you made a conscious effort.

Perhaps this is where we get it very wrong. When the going gets tough, do the tough actually get going or do they get gone? Think about it.

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I ask you –

Know about good metaphors for deescalating stressful situations?

Do you consider yourself a resistant person? You can lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself.

Tell me something you are very good at (skill, hobby, whatever it is)! Baking cookies!

Texas Wildlife

This is most definitely not a post about actual wildlife. Instead, I’m indirectly referring to my neighborhood. There exists some neighbors who are like feral cats…projects never completed, unkemptness (made that word up), and general disdane for societal norms. Truly I couldn’t care less – haHA got it right this time – if anyone subscribes to societal norms because most are just ridiculous. However, living in an HOA is an acceptance of whatever “norms” are set forth. It only irks me a little when some are allowed to do one thing, but others can’t. Moving on, Kel.

As I pride myself on being observant and having a great sense of situational awareness, the neighbors as a whole group fascinate me. Last summer there was a young man who nearly burned down a cul-de-sac because his camping “skills” and young boy appetite led him to make a fire with the intent of roasting hotdogs. Lately, the near constant running amuck of neighbor kids has ceased; I’m not sure if it’s weather related or the parents shipped the kids off to relatives for the summer. Wonder when they come back?

Then, there’s the house sans roof. Probably end of 2020 the house was stripped of shingles and eventually people came out to replace the black clothy stuff (technical term) only to disappear for… let’s see …nearly 2 years now. New shingles arrived before everyone quit and have set outside through ice storms, wind storms, and the rainy season last fall. Seeing as how I don’t know much about shingles, I’m going out on a limb to say those are probably not any good now. So, last week, more (new) shingles arrived; days later, there was a man on the roof replacing (again) what looked like the clothy stuff. A few hours later he was gone, project seemingly forgotten, and I haven’t seen him since. There’s got to be a story behind this.

Also, there’s the mystery of the perpetually lost, floating paddle boat. It’s not the only one on the lake, but it is the only one set free to float of its own accord. Is it broken? Inhabited by ghostly fish? No one knows. I’m tempted to beckon it to my shoreline so I can take a ride. Those things aren’t cheap so why would someone not take care of it?

Finally, I can’t end without mentioning naked neighbor. There have been no other instances of nakedness, to my knowledge. I’d like to keep it that way forever. However, his lonely shoes were sitting on his porch when I came back from a run one morning. Cringe.

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I ask you –

What strange things happen in your neighborhood? Tell me that story again of the weird loss of satellite capabilities.

Have you ever ridden on a paddle boat?

Tell me where you keep most of your shoes! By the treadmill!

Someone Else’s Lens

(The photos below were taken by my friend, Dan, on his recent visit to New York. Photo credit is all his.)

There’s something about traveling that makes my soul happy. New places we visit are seen from a different perspective than those who call it home. When was the last time you walked around your city and saw it with unfamiliar eyes? Try it. I’ve only seen NYC on a large scale via my window when I drove past. The sheer amount of people doesn’t interest me, but maybe to see it at 3am when fewer people are out and the buildings are lit up – that sounds nice.

The view south down 7th Ave from 51st Street.

Considered a total loss after a fire in June, the Spirit of Norfolk was a Norfolk attraction. I kept up with the story of its demise because a) I remembered seeing it when I lived in that area and b) I thought for sure they would extinguish the fire much sooner. Certainly there are some very worried people now because the ship was used for weddings and other large events. Bet they’re not pleased.

Lately the only traveling I’m embarking on is from the car to whatever air-conditioned location I must be at. The average daily temperature is 108° with a heat index of 112°. I fully expect roads to start behaving like mini volcanoes. It’s a thing.

Fall can’t come soon enough. Farewell mosquitoes! Time to find some antihistamine.

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I ask you –

Do you love traveling?

Weather check in – what is yours?

Name your favorite place to visit.

Sarcasm and Acronyms

…is how I believe God talks to me. I once wrote a post on the age of acronymption. I should find that.

Why walk when I can run? Walking is supposed to be therapeutic. But I think I walk too fast for it to be anything like therapy. There’s a book I’ve been reading about overcoming anxiety. Quite fascinating really. And my inner Kel just said that with a British accent. Whackadoo. It mentioned keeping coconut oil or almond butter on your nightstand so you could eat a spoonful during the night for blood sugar stabilizing purposes. The last time I had any food on my nightstand was during pregnancy. When crackers were the only thing keeping me alive.

Remember the post from a few days ago about cycle syncing? It said the phase immediately after your period was energetic and motivation. I’m not feeling it. But my thoughts are all over the place and I really just want to run. Oh. I guess I am in that phase after all.

God talks to you in your native language. Did I already say that? Mine is acronyms and loads of sarcasm. This is where I think the military was really good for me. There was a commander I encountered who said something like…we didn’t tell you what to put in your seabag. Well, first, you did. I think his point was to younger Sailors who choose to get overpriced cars, sixteen wives, etc. I got debilitating anxiety. Kidding. Probably already had that. I did get a mini though and that’s a pretty good parting gift. Kidding. For real this time. But not about her. She’s amazing.

Wow, this stage is no joke. Hello everyone, my name is Kel and I talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t remember to unbuckle their seatbelt before exiting the car. Whoopsies!

Full disclosure: I wrote this post last weekend and now coming back to it I realize it is quite the wild ride. But, also very fun which is why I’m keeping it. Can’t let good words go to waste.

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I ask you –

Does your mind ever go a million directions?

What is your heart’s language?

Bloggers: how often do you go back to read your old posts? Not often.

I Am Woman!

Not many might find it appropriate or desirable to discuss sensitive, personal topics in such a public forum as blogging. I’m not many though. As my gray hairs seem to be increasing and my realization that other bodily changes happen/will happen over time, why not go ahead and write about it now? Clearly rhetorical.

Photo by kat wilcox on Pexels.com; Anybody seen the movie “Bridesmaids”?

Warning: if you have no interest in feminine psyche or issues, you may close this post now. If still reading, you’re on your own.

I’ve had a menstrual cycle for over 25 years. It’s been a learning lesson, to say the least. Every few years, there are small changes but nothing dramatic. Yet, as I’ve aged, I’m able to recognize what I need during the different parts of my cycle. Of course I knew what the cycle names were and most of the symptoms (for me), but I didn’t fully embrace how to prepare for these changes especially in terms of exercise and “self care”. (I don’t love the words self care because, in my opinion, it’s just another buzzword.) Self love is nice though. Anyway, I’m fascinated by my mind and body and its capabilities.

I remember being a young girl who felt like all the responsibility of adulthood snuck up on me so quickly. The birds and the bees conversation never really happened so I was stuck figuring it out as I went. From cramps and tampons to reproduction and birth control and how this all tied into life – what a chore. But I owe it to my own daughter to help her navigate it all. In order to do so I must find what works best for me. Before she peppers me with questions.

Forgotten where I was going with this. Please hold.

Oh yes, exercise and cycle syncing. Thankfully, our bodies tend to follow some intrinsic patterns. For the most part. It does get a little wonky at times, as does most everything in life; however, I know when I feel my best, when I feel like something is “missing”, and when it’s time to throw in the towel. Kidding. I don’t know that. Learning to practice more self love during certain parts of the month is an endeavor I’m embarking on. There are many other athletes who practice nurturing themselves when the going gets tough and it has been a true eye awakening experience to watch it unfold. I love when women cheer on other women. So, for now, I intend to attempt a form of cycle syncing to see where it takes me. It can’t be too wrong because any opportunity to drink tea and take it easy when in the throes of the cramps from hell is my game.

As my best friend Sam says, “Throw chocolate at me and run!”

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I ask you –

Any insight into syncing the menstrual cycle with exercise or athletic goals?

Did you even know this was a thing?

Name the last thing you threw at someone! Socks at mini.

Tricky Conversations

“The start of doubt is the ending of trust.”

In financial terms, this means our generosity is directly linked to our ability to believe we have all we need. But money really isn’t ours anyway. Growing up extremely poor meant money was just a pipe dream. I learned its value very quickly. As a result, parts of my brain, I believe, are truly changed in response to a constant fear of living without. Money is a worrisome part of my life – even though I have no need to be worried. My needs are covered.

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov on Pexels.com

Recognizing these 36 years are all I know and I can’t compare it to something longer, the divisiveness in our country is saddening. There aren’t many people I know who can just “be” around others without talk of political affiliation, religion, or world news. I’m not saying these topics aren’t important; I am saying they don’t define a person and I don’t care to label someone because of it. As I recently sat in a room of people who “assumed” a few things about me, (more than assumed, it was crystal clear they intrinsically believed I was just by showing up) many words were being thrown around as commonplace.

My intent was to listen. But when I was referred to as “them”, my unapologetic voice made its presence known. I am a me. Sadly, the person who I was responding to wouldn’t even look me in the eye. Zero acknowledgement. What I believe is not an ideology, as it was stated. An ideology is a belief system that underpins a political or economic theory. Political or economic. Faith (or religion as some may say) is not an ideology. I can clearly state my belief system and why it’s there; therefore, moot point. I believe we were created to protect life, but I also served to protect one’s choice.

Disclaimer: Fully realizing my readers were not there and it’s hard to describe the room dynamics whilst being very protective of the participants, I do my best to be inclusive and respectful. I think my point in sharing this experience here is to say you don’t know what someone is going through or where they’ve been. Conversations in the workplace, especially in the federal government, are tricky right now. Everyone wants to be heard. But, at the end of the day, we all remove whatever uniform we wear and we’re simply us. I stand behind my statement ‘You don’t really know what you’ll do until you’re in that moment.’ Either way, it’s not my right to judge and I’m incredibly thankful for this truth.

Lastly, please do some research on which amendments are which before you embarrass yourself. And…vote! Change starts with you.

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I ask you –

Have you had tough conversations lately?

Are you registered to vote?

Hope you have had a safe and restful weekend!

Day in Photos, pt 6

The long weekend of mini’s return to midsummer Texas finally arrived! In probably not chronological order –

First, beautify the nails. Sure, ballet shoes cover her toes but it’s proven women who wake up and see their toenails painted experience higher levels of YAY hormones. Totally made that up, but it’s true for me so why not.

Prior to mini’s homecoming, I said see you later to someone with the biggest heart and passion for Airmen. It’s been an incredible few months working with Maj Green – I will miss him and his huge family. Key Spouse life.

Without further ado – I present to you my little ballerina. She rocked her performance and is such a helper to the other young ladies.

It wouldn’t be a weekend without my sister visiting. We have too much fun together.

Overall, the weekend was a success. Nevermind the outdoor temps of 112°. I believe mini had an incredible time. And I’m thankful mini’s dad made the very long trip to support her dance dreams. Everything went by so quickly; before you know it, school will be starting again and we’ll be in another loop of school, dance, repeat.

I feel the heart palpitations returning already.

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I ask you –

What plans do you have for the upcoming holiday weekend?

Do any ballerinas read my blog?

Large crowds: yay or nay? Mostly a nay for me.

Heat Wave

Change of plans. Nothing says get it together, Kel like a wake up call from your body, specifically when you’re too stubborn to acknowledge the signs before the fall. If that isn’t cryptic enough, let’s just say I got a little too close to the same experience nearly 4 yrs ago when I took an ambulance ride for suspected heat stroke. Coupled with poor fueling, I know better. And here we are. Unless the heat wave and triple digit temps break soon, the remainder of my summer will be spent on the treadmill. Surrounded by fans. Yay Texas.

I paused my training plan because I don’t desire to run 6 miles on the belt of doom. Possible, yes. Will… negative. However, I did see where there are a few upcoming breaks in the heat and MAYBE I can get outside one morning for a run. Perhaps I should have considered my running goals when considering Texas as a living option. I heard Utah was beautiful nearly year-round. Ehhh elevation isn’t my favorite either. I could use a summer home and a winter home. Let me get right on it.

My sister put it this way: “I have a few demands for going into the gates of hell this weekend! I need an ice pack, enough deodorant to bathe in and a fan!!! 😂😂😂👍🏻” Don’t we all. On the bright side, it “should” only be low 90s for the first part of this week which means it “might” be upper 60s on the overnights soooooo maybe I can run in the early mornings. Maybe yes, maybe no.

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I ask you –

Are you currently training for anything?

Do you have a seasonal home? Mind if I borrow it?

Tell me your essentials to surviving unbearable heat! Ice cream!