It’s all in the numbers

The amount of panic I feel when I’m told “the math doesn’t math” is both comical and terrifying. My head begins to scream ‘please don’t ask me!’ I like to believe I’m decent at math I am but not for fun or anything. I do the words. Not the numbers.

Imagine my mood after 2 days of number things. Crap mood, mental exhaustion, indescribable tiredness. And people really do this for a living? Whackadoo.

I like to imagine those are potato chips surrounding a laptop hahaha

The antiquated Air Force, and other branches I suspect, has done us no favors when data analysis is the actual future. I need numbers to justify decisions, to request funds, to build a business plan. The paper records we’re meticulously coveting? Not a useful format. So I spent days building templates for these paper numbers, to feed into a digital thing so I can perform trend analysis.

It was a huge undertaking. And my mood suffered immensely.

Interestingly, those who have a deep love or passion for numbers are considered methodical, even predictable. I don’t know if I completely buy into this; however, I will admit the numbers people should be very thankful it comes naturally to them. Because the rest of us? Well, I have a few new gray hairs.

_____________________

I ask you –

What are your thoughts on spreadsheets and Excel and numbers?

(The post It’s all in the numbers first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Grow out loud

…and why I don’t.

My “Aunt Mary Catherine” flower

I am very aware my social media presence is a source of contention. But I have a few good reasons.

First, it’s unsafe. Constant posting is triangulated to where you work, what you do, who you interact with, how you spend your time, your associations, your family members, etc. And I resent the fact I can be triangulated using someone else’s social media. I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t agree to it.

Second, along the same lines as numero uno, it unfairly creates a profile of my family, notably family members without social media, especially those too young to engage in it. They should never be held to whatever standard I inadvertently created for them in a growing digital world. Employees, educators, and acquaintances have access to them. And it can be used against them. Just no.

Third, growth happens in private. Behind closed doors. Recognition of growth is admirable, celebrated. I’m all for it! But not at the expense of what quietly achieving my goals is worth to me. So I’ll share the nuggets, the brief glimpses, but the big reveal comes when I’m ready, comfortable with the outcome. Not as a response to what I “should” post.

Not posting has nothing to do with shame, or hiding. For me, it’s all about protection of my peace, my family, and my growth. Conversation with others happens when electronic devices are silenced, the focus shifts, and real connection is made. It’s a hard lesson – to be willing to escape societal norms but I’m finally starting to understand it’s where real peace lies.

And wherever there is peace is where I want to be.

_____________________

I ask you –

How often do you post on social media?

Do you inadvertently (or intentionally) post family members?

(The post Grow out loud first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Not that kind of pilot!

I’m constantly humbled by opportunities to share my PhD journey. And I’m even more thankful to the military for the opportunity to obtain it.

Every chance I get, I tell people what the military did for my education. I have a $200K degree I didn’t pay for (in the traditional sense). Sure, they also paid a whopping $500K for my specialized military training. I’m easily worth 3/4 of a million dollars in education which makes me a billboard of information. However, what good is information if the people who need it don’t have access to it?

Which leads me here –

A week learning and growing into a role I see as mine for the taking. Attending a pilot course is a lot of pressure! Every day was a new pivot to absorb information, analyze data, or learn about myself. From resilience to SWOT analysis to mission/vision statements, every tool is available to be successful.

I genuinely believe every flight chief, activity manager, or leader at the course was willing and open to learn new things. Yet willingness is a funny concept. Not haha funny. For the 18 of us there, there are an equal number who may be unwilling to change. Perhaps even unable to change. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Many installations run the gamut from well-organized to actually in serious trouble. I heard some horror stories. I also heard stories of kindness and care. That’s the organization I want to serve

___________________________

I ask you –

When was the last time a training poured into you?

(The post Not that kind of pilot! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

April Recap

Still consistently completing at least one intentional movement session/workout per day. Even some regular 3-per-days! Looks like those midweek dual sessions are a standard occurrence which tells me my workload on those days isn’t as heavy as some others. Or…by the middle of the week, I’m in desperate need for me time. Bingo.

While I was in San Antonio, battling the heat and humidity, Garmin proudly proclaimed my heat acclimatization. It is absolutely wrong but I appreciate the encouragement.

Most days my hair started out contained, even mildly on point. By the end of the day, the alpaca look reigned supreme. I forget the humidity differences between north and central Texas. Glad we’re in May so it can really ramp up.

I didn’t get in a run on the first day of the month, or even the second, but I’m back in a routine. I’ll report back soon! Be very afraid.

___________________________

I ask you –

How was your April?

(The post April Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Celebratory (Cup)Cake

10 years total as active duty + civilian! I’m blessed to have the perspective of both sides of the uniform and two different military branches. There was nothing easy about either; however, I make a better civilian than I did in NWUs.

This seemingly rickety bridge has been around longer than 10 years. Probably 100. As you can see, the Wichita River is flowing courtesy of the recent rains. As several of us volunteered to set up an obstacle run, the Texas-sized mosquitoes tried to carry us off. We prevailed.

Surviving an incredibly long, stressful, packed week warranted ice cream and cupcakes. The ice cream? Meh. I think Cookie Two Step rates much higher on the “you gotta try this” scale. Brookie A La Mode just didn’t do it for me.

The star of the show was the cupcakes. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it before, but when I was stationed in Pensacola my first year in the Navy, my best friend, Sam, turned me on to Kimberly’s cupcakes. Who knows how many cupcakes were consumed as we tried them all. All. I don’t recall ever eating a bad Kimberly’s cupcake. It’s the perfect blend of frosting and super soft, moist cake. They are divine. When I lived in Virginia, I could still purchase Kimberly’s cupcakes. However, upon moving back to Texas, I only recall seeing Kimberly’s cupcakes a handful of times in the local grocery stores. It’s been at least 5 years since their last sighting. Until now! A new (to me) grocery chain recently opened and they have Kimberly’s cupcakes. This will not end well.

I didn’t set out to celebrate 10 years with the customary ice cream and cake yet somehow it found me when I needed it. Thanks, Kimberly, wherever and whoever you are.

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I ask you –

Have you ever tried Kimberly’s cupcakes?

What are your thoughts on the Blue Bell flavor?

(The post Celebratory (Cup)Cake first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Moments of Resilience

Turns out I’m allergic to patterned carpet. Dramatic much, Kel. Obviously I’m not allergic. More like averse to it. The patterns are optical and often symmetrical enough to prompt a very dizzying effect. Hotels, classrooms, and educational training sites often utilize this type of carpet which really causes issues with my brain. Or equilibrium. You know what else causes all the sneezing? Beautiful, resilient, blooms, like these flowers. How can something so gorgeous create so many issues?!

CMSgt Fabrienne Burnett

This incredible woman made a few last minute stops on her way to retirement and I was so humbled to be a part of her waypoint. You see, she just returned from deployment in a war-torn, volatile area. Sure, she’s done her fair share of deployments but the emotion I felt in her presence was stained with exhaustion, and dare I say, an undercurrent of hurt. The sheer fact that she took it upon herself to say goodbye rather than fading into R&R without a rear view speaks volumes of her commitment. CMSgt Burnett is one of a kind. I’ve seen some good ones, but she is a great one. And to say she will be missed is an understatement. At a recent commander’s call, our commander asked for a raise of hands to indicate who knew or had been impacted by Chief. Nearly the entire room had a hand raised. As I looked around at the faces of those with their hands up, it was apparent the impression she had made. People were smiling. And that’s what people did when they saw her in her office, out and about, in their spaces. They smiled. She cared. And she will be missed.

All this to say, the empathic part of me accepted her emotions. As the day went on, I kept coming back to those emotions, visible in her eyes and the long hug – needing connection, stability, and a listening ear. The next day, I had grand plans to run, to do things, to be productive. Instead, I couldn’t find the energy. I knew if I didn’t sit with the emotions, my mind and body would eventually force me to do so. When it hits, there’s no pause button, no “please schedule a time…”. So I sat. I rested. I felt. This is the resilience we often speak of. The acknowledgement to ourselves we are strong, even when weak.

Even as the flowers are beautiful, they are equally resilient. If only my nose was the same.

________________

I ask you –

Have you someone in your life who embodies the core of resiliency?

(The post Moments of Resilience first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

March Movement + Random Recap

March movement totals weren’t too bad considering this new age bracket. 40+. It looks like I decreased on the two-a-day workouts, but it was probably for the best.

In other news, another season of intramural volleyball is upon us. Allow me to introduce The Shiny Ones –

Our losing streak is alive and well. Oh well. I must say, though, the team has come a long way and definitely looks more comfortable on the court. The elusive winning streak may or may not come, but, if fun is the intention, then they win every time.

________________

I ask you –

What are the odds The Shiny Ones win at least 1 game this season? About the same as the Bears winning the Super Bowl next year.

…very possible!

(The post March Movement + Random Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pirating the Big Easy

Quick trip to New Orleans, complete with a course of training. When in Rome…we do all the things the Orlians do. Or whatever they said.

So much coffee.

And cozy spots to chat.

And balconies.

A trip to restore the mind, body, and soul. Many conversations were had, and many will live in infamy. Alas, that’s what best friends are for.

________________

I ask you –

What does “when in Rome” mean to you?

(The post Pirating the Big Easy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

1%

I forgot to mention a pretty amazing email I received on my birthday. Not the freebies. An invitation to publish in the US Public Administration Journal (USPAJ). I was floored. It’s been almost a year since I defended my dissertation and graduated, but there is never an end date on research and scholarship. It is a process to have it peer reviewed then published. However, it was a process to get this far so what’s new.

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

If 1% of humans serve in the military and 1% of humans earn a PhD, then what is the percentage of veteran women with a PhD? According the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs, in 2023, 1.7% of women veterans have earned a PhD. In fact, trends point to higher education attainment in women veterans and women nonveterans versus men veterans/nonveterans.

Other interesting facts –

Only 1% of the population is truly ambidextrous. Many believe (or claim) ambidexterity; however, it means equal strength, ability, etc.
Chenowith, while studying civil disobedience, found it takes just 3.5% of nonviolent campaigns to spark political change.
Experience Aphantasia, a rare condition which prevents a person from visualizing an image in their mind, impacting the ability to dream or remember, among other issues.

Although I have only listed a few instances of 1% facts, undoubtedly there exists countless other examples. In this day of roughly billions of human inhabitants, it can be difficult to believe there are still rarities which exist. Not to worry, I still believe you are special!

________________

I ask you –

Are you part of a certain 1%?

(The post 1% first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

When …

When you think you’re taking leave, then they drop the anxiously anticipated fitness updates.

When you thought heights couldn’t possibly get any scarier, then they extend the ladder. (this is 100% not me, but it is a very brave woman!)

When your favorite flowers are ready to explode into bloom!

When you can’t remember if you’ve already shared the photo so you do it again. Because why not.

When you find an unrelated puzzle piece that does not fit the puzzle. Surely it belongs to one of the others previously completed. Right?!

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I ask you –

When…insert something of your own!

(The post When … first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)