Voice at the Table

It is very difficult to tell what someone is thinking if they don’t say a word. For a moment, imagine my frustration and wild thoughts when entering into a potentially volatile situation where everyone sits quietly.

I digress.

We have entered this lovely time of year in the military that we call change of command. Literally, the command (or leadership team) is changing. New people, new ideas, new focus, new complaints, new marks of ownership. Occasionally, we can’t wait for change of command because the current leadership has worn out their welcome. Equally, the 2-3 years have flown by with great success and you lose a good one. Although we’re happy for their next command, we experience a mental and emotional loss. And by we, I mean me.

Inside a squadron, often the loss feels more significant. I’m sure our leadership hopes to have imparted some wisdom and legacy on their followers.

Circling the plane.

At a different level, I saw leaders speaking for themselves rather than their teams. When placed at a big fancy table with decision-makers, those leaders lost focus on what mattered and pushed their agenda as if it would solve all the problems. I saw it time and again. And I saw it fail spectacularly. When it was my turn to say what I wanted, all I said was “I want a voice at the table”. Fortunately, I have never doubted my voice is heard.

So when I sit at the big fancy table with all the decision-makers, I speak up. Proudly. Confidently. And with one goal in mind – to ensure my team has a voice at the table.

Which leads me to the runway.

When you sit at the table, you best be prepared. You best have a plan. You best listen, read the room, absorb the information, and be ready to execute a plan. Fight for it. Fight for your activity, your team, your people.

I will never understand those that sit there expecting someone else to tell them their plan. The ones who have no idea what’s going on and fail to ask questions. Is my perspective wrong? Probably. But it doesn’t explain why I see this same scenario again and again.

Sitting at the table is powerful. It is humbling. It is a literal indication of someone else’s belief in your ability.

Photo by mustafa kaya on Pexels.com

Show them you have earned it.

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I ask you –

What do you expect from your leadership?

Tell me what it means to you to have a voice at the table.

(The post Voice at the Table first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Loading…

Might as well put a disclaimer here because I already know.

Polarizing topic ahead.

For the better part of my adult life, and countless times in the military, I’ve been accused/subject to attention for/questioned (or whatever term you want to use) regarding unduly familiar relationships with others, both up and down the chain.

Honestly, I believe I just have the face of someone who can be trusted. Really, there’s no malicious intent. I have an invisible sign on my forehead stating “Please, tell me your life story”. I wish I was kidding. It happens so often it must be there, only visible to everyone else.

The reason I bring this up is not out of frustration or complaint or, even, excuse. It’s fascinating to me. I have very intimate relationships and knowledge of people I may only have had acquaintance-style encounters with. I know things. It often gets misconstrued to having formed very deep relationships with others (from an outsider’s perspective) yet I really do not have this depth. Yet I do. I believe it leads to jealousy and a lack of understanding in other relationships. I don’t know how to offer reassurance here, it’s just me. Must be that empath stuff again. Full disclosure: it is exhausting.

‘Tis my blog so I can be as transparent or as abstract as I wish. The fascination lies in knowing there are others out there with the same qualities and my research-focused brain wants to speak to them. I want to know how this happens…does it come from listening, from allowing others to speak freely, or from pointed questions? All of the above? Is it possible for others to cultivate these relationships with virtual strangers or is it proximity? I genuinely want to understand.

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I ask you –

Do you have strong relationships with acquaintances?

Is this a new idea to you?

(The post Loading… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Global Influence

Interesting achievement, Word Press. Must be calculated by IP address. I wonder if I know anyone in those countries.

Random moment: Origins of the term “Tiger Team” – in case you were wondering, Tiger Team is a term popularized by NASA in the 60’s but originated by the military. Used to mean a group of experts, or those with specialized skills, I almost choke on my laughter because any time I’ve seen it used in the military, it was a ragtag bunch of whackadoos thrown together for some stupid task. It went about as well as expected.

The real topic of this post –

I’m often guilty of using the phrase “that’s not me”, typically in response to a stereotype or a general identifier. For example, for many years, when confirmed with the ability to obtain a PhD, I’d say “that’s not me”. Another example, stepping into the political realm, my response is “that’s not me”. However, the more I get to know me, the more I see me. A PhD was me, it’s always been me, but I was afraid of failure, afraid of starting, afraid of holding myself accountable to what my heart desired. The political stuff? Ugh, jury is still out.

Power and influence are found in certain individuals. Books tell us how to hone our power, leaders share examples of how they use their power, and we can watch television of power gone wrong. Big ugh.

There’s big power, sure. But what if power lies in a small tweak to our structure. A name change, if you will. Dr. Suddenly it’s a wide world, a new power, an upgraded influence, a calling which perhaps was always there, if not for the small whisper of “that’s not me”.

It is you, Kel. And it is time you start using it.

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I ask you –

Is there something in your life you want to achieve or feel a calling for but doubt your ability to accomplish?

Did you know the origin of Tiger Team?!

(The post Global Influence first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It’s all in the numbers

The amount of panic I feel when I’m told “the math doesn’t math” is both comical and terrifying. My head begins to scream ‘please don’t ask me!’ I like to believe I’m decent at math I am but not for fun or anything. I do the words. Not the numbers.

Imagine my mood after 2 days of number things. Crap mood, mental exhaustion, indescribable tiredness. And people really do this for a living? Whackadoo.

I like to imagine those are potato chips surrounding a laptop hahaha

The antiquated Air Force, and other branches I suspect, has done us no favors when data analysis is the actual future. I need numbers to justify decisions, to request funds, to build a business plan. The paper records we’re meticulously coveting? Not a useful format. So I spent days building templates for these paper numbers, to feed into a digital thing so I can perform trend analysis.

It was a huge undertaking. And my mood suffered immensely.

Interestingly, those who have a deep love or passion for numbers are considered methodical, even predictable. I don’t know if I completely buy into this; however, I will admit the numbers people should be very thankful it comes naturally to them. Because the rest of us? Well, I have a few new gray hairs.

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I ask you –

What are your thoughts on spreadsheets and Excel and numbers?

(The post It’s all in the numbers first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Not that kind of pilot!

I’m constantly humbled by opportunities to share my PhD journey. And I’m even more thankful to the military for the opportunity to obtain it.

Every chance I get, I tell people what the military did for my education. I have a $200K degree I didn’t pay for (in the traditional sense). Sure, they also paid a whopping $500K for my specialized military training. I’m easily worth 3/4 of a million dollars in education which makes me a billboard of information. However, what good is information if the people who need it don’t have access to it?

Which leads me here –

A week learning and growing into a role I see as mine for the taking. Attending a pilot course is a lot of pressure! Every day was a new pivot to absorb information, analyze data, or learn about myself. From resilience to SWOT analysis to mission/vision statements, every tool is available to be successful.

I genuinely believe every flight chief, activity manager, or leader at the course was willing and open to learn new things. Yet willingness is a funny concept. Not haha funny. For the 18 of us there, there are an equal number who may be unwilling to change. Perhaps even unable to change. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Many installations run the gamut from well-organized to actually in serious trouble. I heard some horror stories. I also heard stories of kindness and care. That’s the organization I want to serve

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I ask you –

When was the last time a training poured into you?

(The post Not that kind of pilot! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Now What

The last few weeks have felt like a massive punt. A ginormous swipe left on everything. I don’t have time for this, for that, for any of these things. Delegate, relegate, and set a reminder to follow up. Frankly, it was overwhelming and disheartening. I couldn’t keep it together.

Thankfully, the tides turned. I was able to breathe again. Nothing felt crushing. Must be perimenopause. But did I really have to go through all that?!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

‘Tis the seasons, right? We become complacent in having it together, then we’re hit with a crushing wave of every little thing at once and we lose sight of the sky above our ocean. Fortunately, this is normal. Shrug. Last week, I leveraged connections for a senior leader panel and, as I listened/moderated/tried not to laugh too loudly, I realized (again) this is where I belong. Every decision, every consequence, every moment has led to this. No one’s path is the same. According to those leaders, even they hadn’t imagined this was where they would end up. Sure, they had goals. But when they met the goal, they looked around and asked “now what?” The same thought has been my season for a short time. I’m here…now what?

It seems this post has come together better than I expected. Now what. It can be a question, a statement, or an exclamatory response. Perhaps the way the punctuation is shaped indicates how we react. Tone tells a story. Be present now. Right now.

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I ask you –

What season are you in now…personally? Professionally?

What will you do with it?

(The post Now What first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Celebratory (Cup)Cake

10 years total as active duty + civilian! I’m blessed to have the perspective of both sides of the uniform and two different military branches. There was nothing easy about either; however, I make a better civilian than I did in NWUs.

This seemingly rickety bridge has been around longer than 10 years. Probably 100. As you can see, the Wichita River is flowing courtesy of the recent rains. As several of us volunteered to set up an obstacle run, the Texas-sized mosquitoes tried to carry us off. We prevailed.

Surviving an incredibly long, stressful, packed week warranted ice cream and cupcakes. The ice cream? Meh. I think Cookie Two Step rates much higher on the “you gotta try this” scale. Brookie A La Mode just didn’t do it for me.

The star of the show was the cupcakes. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it before, but when I was stationed in Pensacola my first year in the Navy, my best friend, Sam, turned me on to Kimberly’s cupcakes. Who knows how many cupcakes were consumed as we tried them all. All. I don’t recall ever eating a bad Kimberly’s cupcake. It’s the perfect blend of frosting and super soft, moist cake. They are divine. When I lived in Virginia, I could still purchase Kimberly’s cupcakes. However, upon moving back to Texas, I only recall seeing Kimberly’s cupcakes a handful of times in the local grocery stores. It’s been at least 5 years since their last sighting. Until now! A new (to me) grocery chain recently opened and they have Kimberly’s cupcakes. This will not end well.

I didn’t set out to celebrate 10 years with the customary ice cream and cake yet somehow it found me when I needed it. Thanks, Kimberly, wherever and whoever you are.

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I ask you –

Have you ever tried Kimberly’s cupcakes?

What are your thoughts on the Blue Bell flavor?

(The post Celebratory (Cup)Cake first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Moments of Resilience

Turns out I’m allergic to patterned carpet. Dramatic much, Kel. Obviously I’m not allergic. More like averse to it. The patterns are optical and often symmetrical enough to prompt a very dizzying effect. Hotels, classrooms, and educational training sites often utilize this type of carpet which really causes issues with my brain. Or equilibrium. You know what else causes all the sneezing? Beautiful, resilient, blooms, like these flowers. How can something so gorgeous create so many issues?!

CMSgt Fabrienne Burnett

This incredible woman made a few last minute stops on her way to retirement and I was so humbled to be a part of her waypoint. You see, she just returned from deployment in a war-torn, volatile area. Sure, she’s done her fair share of deployments but the emotion I felt in her presence was stained with exhaustion, and dare I say, an undercurrent of hurt. The sheer fact that she took it upon herself to say goodbye rather than fading into R&R without a rear view speaks volumes of her commitment. CMSgt Burnett is one of a kind. I’ve seen some good ones, but she is a great one. And to say she will be missed is an understatement. At a recent commander’s call, our commander asked for a raise of hands to indicate who knew or had been impacted by Chief. Nearly the entire room had a hand raised. As I looked around at the faces of those with their hands up, it was apparent the impression she had made. People were smiling. And that’s what people did when they saw her in her office, out and about, in their spaces. They smiled. She cared. And she will be missed.

All this to say, the empathic part of me accepted her emotions. As the day went on, I kept coming back to those emotions, visible in her eyes and the long hug – needing connection, stability, and a listening ear. The next day, I had grand plans to run, to do things, to be productive. Instead, I couldn’t find the energy. I knew if I didn’t sit with the emotions, my mind and body would eventually force me to do so. When it hits, there’s no pause button, no “please schedule a time…”. So I sat. I rested. I felt. This is the resilience we often speak of. The acknowledgement to ourselves we are strong, even when weak.

Even as the flowers are beautiful, they are equally resilient. If only my nose was the same.

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I ask you –

Have you someone in your life who embodies the core of resiliency?

(The post Moments of Resilience first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle

The Pareto Principle aka the 80/20 Rule

Named after economist Vilfredo Pareto, the Pareto Principle states 80% of results are from 20% of causes which implies only a small amount of the minority is actually driven by the majority. This disproportionate principle is often viewed from the people standpoint, i.e., 80% of the work is completed by 20% of the people. So what about the remaining work and/or people? Well, this is where life is not fair. Equal distribution is a myth, much like the term “balance”.

Businesses would lead us to believe that rewarding the 20% encourages the remaining percentage to do better. No such evidence exists. As some are more motivated by consequences, it is difficult to tell if these are positive or negative consequences. Nonetheless, it can be quite frustrating to be the 20% completing 80% of the work while the remaining workforce contributes little. Wealth distribution was Pareto’s basis for this principle, which relied on statistical tools. Today, many believe the Pareto Principle is manipulated and, therefore, not the universal principle originally touted.

One area where the Pareto Principle is applicable is time management. For example, working for 40-45 mins, then taking a 15-20 min break. Yes, I know it’s not 80/20, work with me here. Most training curriculums mimic this style because studies have shown the attention span is approximately 11 minutes and taking a 10 min break every 60 mins encourages physical and mental reprieve.

I won’t say this one is the most interesting. However, I will say it’s the most common (to me). In a rapidly changing society of differing generational norms, I was raised to work hard, to own my behavior and mistakes, and to strive for the top. It does not seem this way anymore.

More to come!

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I ask you –

Without adding “but” or “because”, ask yourself – are you the 80% or the 20%?

(The post Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

March Movement + Random Recap

March movement totals weren’t too bad considering this new age bracket. 40+. It looks like I decreased on the two-a-day workouts, but it was probably for the best.

In other news, another season of intramural volleyball is upon us. Allow me to introduce The Shiny Ones –

Our losing streak is alive and well. Oh well. I must say, though, the team has come a long way and definitely looks more comfortable on the court. The elusive winning streak may or may not come, but, if fun is the intention, then they win every time.

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I ask you –

What are the odds The Shiny Ones win at least 1 game this season? About the same as the Bears winning the Super Bowl next year.

…very possible!

(The post March Movement + Random Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)