Dollars & Sense

I’ve determined unless you’re an absolutely complete moron, then money can literally buy anything you want, including a doctoral degree. Maybe not a doctoral degree for an actual medical doctor but definitely one like I’m getting. Really. Because if the way some of my classmates write is any indication of their ability to form coherent sentences and be decent human beings, then money must be the reason they’ve made it this far. Sorry not sorry. Here I am stressing a dissertation I don’t even have to begin for another year and they’re writing like a sixth grader. Spoiler: we’ll probably all walk the stage at the same time which proves my suspicion that money can buy a degree.

You know what else money can buy? Pizza! And it makes me happy, too.

Money can also buy replacement body parts, especially when Spare Parts still hasn’t come through on the slightly used knees. Mine are starting to look and feel like I either make a living in the red light district or this volleyball hobby is getting the best of me. They’re so bruised I’ve been afraid to wear shorts to work lest someone question my evening habits or tell me I’m too old to play sports. Cue the daughter jokes again.

our most recent photo together

Lastly, speaking of jokes, it’s impolite to stare at someone in a public setting, then loudly proclaim, “Oh good, I found the other one!” as if twins are an unheard of phenomenon. We are not a scavenger hunt. I really don’t understand the fascination. Parts and I don’t even look that much alike! And, I know of at least one other set of twins (identical) who also work on the installation. Maybe they have better luck than Parts and I.

And by luck I mean people don’t stare like they’re a circus act. Or at least say hello first!

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I ask you –

Do you think money can buy anything?

On a scale of 1 to you’re insane if you don’t love it, how much do you like pizza?

Please share your advice or comeback phrases for the shock & awe twin encounters!

(The post Go Fast Shoes! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Prison Sounds Like a Vacation

Disclaimer: I am not making fun of anyone who is/has been/knows someone who is/has been incarcerated. I recognize my humor is not everyone’s cup of tea. If it comes across as offensive, I truly mean no harm.

It can be fun when you find out new things about yourself. Or terrifying. Nonetheless, I found out I run faster when I have an idea. Some psychoanalytic might think this is because the brain cells are firing so the legs turn over faster. Or a dream interpreter could say it’s because I’m running towards something. Or none of the above. But, I did realize that when I’m thinking of something while running and a great idea strikes me, then suddenly I start running much faster. Maybe it’s so I can get to my phone to write it down before the thought disappears. If I was in prison, then I’d always have easy access to pen and paper.

this

not that

On the rare occasion, I do stupid things with very clear consequences. Like go off the rails with sugar intake. My cycle is pretty consistent so I know when the mood shifts and my body needs extra food to make it through the week. However, sometimes the sugar cravings are out of control and I indulge. Payback is a sweet, kind, caring old lady. Then, I spend several days lamenting my very existence with horrible GI issues, headaches, and a general disregard for living. It’s really quite exciting. If I was in prison, I would be forced to eat whatever is provided to me.

And along the lines of vacations, I’m very ready for another 10 days of no typing. Don’t get me wrong – this past course has been a breeze compared to the previous double undertaking. I think I’ve actually managed to maintain my sanity, routines, and streak of completing assignments early. But, if I was in prison, I would have nothing but time. No pun intended.

_______________________

I ask you –

Do you run faster when an idea pops into your head?

Does sugar pose problems for you?

Tell me if you have an upcoming vacation!

(The post Prison Sounds Like a Vacation first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It Reminds Me of Childhood

I love sights or posts that tell a great story! Like this one about cookie jars. Speaking of chocolate (because we are), the photo below is of my newest addiction. These are literally the best sugar free chocolate snacks I’ve ever had. 1 carb per two pieces. Amazing! I was hesitant to use the word Bombs in my post because…well, you know.

Or this other article about my childhood favorite author, Judy Blume. And now I’ve exceeded the number of free articles available so I have to wait some unknown amount of time.

tastes exactly like fruity pebbles

Further, I believe I’ve truly reached the pinnacle of adulthood. Introducing…car snacks! Running again makes me so hungry!

Definitely unrelated to adulthood – mini’s “friends”, as she calls them. The collection continues to amass more victims as birthdays and other holidays contribute to her stuffy hoarding. As she sneaks into my bed each night, she attempts to bring her friends with her but quickly realizes there is nary enough space to accommodate. As seen above.

Alas, I once had the same issues. A line of stuffed animals I couldn’t sleep without. My “best friends”. In the essence of preserving her innocence as long as possible, I guess we’ll keep all the stuffies for a while longer. Until I can’t roll over.

__________________

I ask you –

What’s your favorite snack?

At what age did you stop sleeping with stuffed animals? Or do you still?

Tell me if I should insist on reducing the amount of “friends”.

(The post It Reminds Me of Childhood first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Spring Tour

While mini was away, I also escaped reality for a few days.

An incredible visit to Asheville, NC included donuts, coffee, breweries, and a tour through the Biltmore House and its beautiful gardens. In case you’re new here (to the blog, not NC), I think flowers and plants and nature are amazing. However, just the act of me staring lovingly at greenery makes it wilt and die. I’m really a legend at killing anything that survives on water alone. It’s bad.

The company was my favorite and the short getaway helped me put life back into perspective. Of course, by the time this is posted I’ll be deep into a course on human resource management and legal cases but this trip will keep me satiated until I can escape again.

It’s never goodbye, it’s always seen you soon. 💚

___________________

I ask you –

Have you ever toured the Biltmore? I’ll do a separate post on it.

How much do you love Spring foliage?

Human resource management and legal cases: I looked ahead at week 6 – which I never do because its overwhelming – perhaps I should submit a leave request now. That paper seems like a headache.

(The post Spring Tour first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

…The Evidence Will Show

That I have a huge problem. An obsession. A sugary snafu, if you will. Don’t tell me I don’t need to be keto. The hell I don’t. Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?

day before my birthday

Fortunately, of the 10 lbs I lost, I only regained 2. So I don’t have to undertake any kind of extreme cutback to return to my goal. As if I would anyway. Maybe all the sugar and carbs the subsequent week will power my way through the first week of returning to school. Or else I’ll just be super grumpy suffering from sugar withdrawals. More likely.

Further evidence is as follows:

The above photo collection was on the actual date of my birth. And it went downhill from there.

But it was so wonderful! Also, lastly, the only reason no bake cookies are included is because mini’s Tennessean spring break luggage was supposed to include them as a gift to her grandfather. However, I was too busy shoveling sweets into my own mouth that I forgot to make them for him so I had to vacuum seal and mail them. Fortunately, this seemed to work. Crisis averted.

________________

I ask you –

Have you tried the Twix Salted Caramel? I loved the saltiness, but didn’t really get the caramel.

What about butterscotch? Are you a fan?

The cost to overnight a package: $128. Two day shipping: $28. No contest.

(The post …The Evidence Will Show first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

An Ode to Angel Bites

There once lived a lovely woman named Kathy and she made angel bites. She owned an amazing deli; her additional role was wedding catering. She probably catered other events but you could always find her at bridal expos. Whatever cakes didn’t sell or perhaps she had extra pieces of cake – she’d use those to form cake bites. I believe it probably started with vanilla cake (angel bites) and chocolate cake (devil bites). Eventually she made lemon bites, red velvet bites, carrot cake bites, etc. That lemon was superb!

love note from mini

After many years, she closed her storefront. People were devastated. Me. I’m people. Then I moved away expecting to never have another angel bite in my life. Fast forward to last week. I’d heard rumors that Kathy’s relatives had resurrected her recipe and occasionally sold the elusive bites in some downtown local businesses. But every time I went to those businesses – no angel bites. Luck would have it, I stopped by The Shops whilst attempting to kill time. Ta-da! Angel bites! 4 boxes later (and a truly inspiring conversation with a woman my age who had a recent hip replacement), I was on my way, angel bites in hand. Pretty sure mini ate 2 for breakfast. Maybe I did, too.

To celebrate our birthday and lucky number, Spare Parts and I went shopping, spa’d, ate cake, sushi, and did all kinds of other things. Because why not? 37 isn’t a landmark birthday but we made the most of it! Just like the family of Kathy who continue creating glorious bites of cake that only the strongest sugar molecules can withstand.

________________

I ask you –

Have you ever eaten anything like an angel/devil bite?

How did you celebrate your most recent birthday?

Write a love note to someone and surprise them with it!

(The post An Ode to Angel Bites first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Food Stuff

My coworker and I have a debate on the level of over doneness for hardboiled eggs.

To me the photo above is a masterpiece of perfection. She thinks I couldn’t be further from the truth.

Cereal and Greek yogurt on repeat. Sometimes I crave it when I’m up late writing. I also found a chocolate (keto) cereal that pairs so well, too. Add frozen blueberries. Trust me.

Keto ice cream and brownies. I’m seeing a pattern of cold, sweet things. But at least I can eat while I type! Keto does good things for me and I don’t mind foregoing sugar. There are many substitutes so as long as you can deal with the restrictions, then it’s not so bad.

Same note, different song: I exploded a hardboiled egg in the microwave a few days after I took the first photo on this post. I’m sure my coworker will say that wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t already been overcooked. Of course, she likes them smooshy and 2 seconds past runny. Ewwwww.

_____________________________

I ask you –

How “done” do you like your eggs?

Have you tried yogurt and cereal? I guess it’s similar to yogurt and granola.

Tell me a time you blew something up in the microwave!

(The post Food Stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Give Me All the Flavors!

Seriously. Anything by Fa!rlife is addictive. Flavors I don’t even like – ahem, strawberry banana – taste so good! They’re filling and yummy and I can’t get enough. Believe me, I know the words ‘nutrition plan’ is not synonymous with ‘this tastes awesome’ but I guarantee it definitely does. Trust me.

I’ve returned to a keto style of eating. Seems my way of eating yet not running consistently (aka training for anything) is not the best for my waistline. Or else it was all the holiday treats. Nonetheless, my energy has reappeared, the bloating is gone, and my pants are starting to fit again. Win! This isn’t a forever diet; it’s just to get me restarted and back to where I want to be. But I am dreaming about that birthday sushi!

Some speak of the “keto flu” like it’s the worst possible outcome of starting keto. I’m certain I did not succumb to the keto flu this time; however, I did get hit by the bus o’ allergies. Probably some stress in there, too. And it all fell on the first week of class. Two is how many workouts I did. I tried to run one day, well, I did run, but the cough and congestion afterwards was awful. Maybe this week will be better. But there is a great chance for snow early in the week. Good thing I have two huge papers to write.

This is fun.

_________________________

I ask you –

What’s your favorite milk flavor? Loaded question, I know.

Are you dealing with allergies?

Tell me your favorite food!

(The post Give Me All the Flavors! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

True Stories

In my line of work, I spend a large part of time examining footwear. No, you can’t wear flipflops in the gym. This prompted the following thought: have any studies been done on what footwear crime victims are wearing? Because I see many people wear footwear they can barely walk in let alone run, so there needs to be a standard established. Personally, I won’t wear anything I can’t run in. Because there’s no shortage of kidnapping attempts on my life.

In a bizarre string of events, the above photos tell a story of someone (someones) with a twisted sense of humor. I’m loving it. First, there was a dead hog on the side of the road. At least a week went by. Then, suddenly, there appeared a balloon stating “Feel Better” tied to its bloated carcass. No thank you. At least another week passed before mowers came through and I don’t want to speculate on what happened to the dead hog or its cheery balloon but both disappeared. Fast forward another week later. Now, there’s a homemade and painted cross with the inscription “RIP PIG”. I have no idea whose brilliant idea this was; however, I’m very much invested and feel as if maybe I should contribute with flowers or a rosary or some other memento. Why is this not a thing?

Ugh. It’s that time of year again. You know what I think? Oh, do tell, Kel. GS cookies should be sold before Christmas, before Thanksgiving even. So when we’re (I) am struggling to figure out what to gift, I can choose a simple option, like cookies. Sure, I can spend hours making treats and packaging them in cute bags, etc. but it would be awesome if I could give the gift of Girl Scouts!

I both loathe and adore Girl Scout cookie season. Send help. My willpower is garbage.

Last minute update, as of Monday:

I swear I didn’t do this! But I wanted to!

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I ask you –

Are you aware of any footwear-related true crime stories?

Should I pay my respects to the hog?

Tell me your favorite GS cookie(s)!! Caramel deLites and Lemonades!

(The post True Stories first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A Few (More) of My Favorite Things

A previous post by the same name just didn’t encompass everything I had hoped to share so I decided to do another. Because that’s what I do.

The semicolon ring above was a Christmas gift from my spouse. I stopped wearing the one before it after it became completely bent out of shape due to my inherent ability to run into walls, get my hands stuck in weird places, and overall wear and tear. But mostly wear and tear.

The semicolon is significant because it symbolizes the continuation of a story, sentence, or thought. Many people have it tattooed as a reminder of suicide awareness which is also the reason I wear it. Some may know my dad died by suicide when I was a child so this is a reminder of a life gone too soon. I’m also very aware of Veteran suicide rates; thankfully I do not know anyone personally, but I do have friends who have either struggled or know others who succumbed to their struggles.

My sister gifted me the journal above. It has beautifully organized pages and helps me get my thoughts in order. A huge plus, in my book. No pun intended. Her faith journey is so intentional – I’m trying to follow her lead.

Lastly, no bake cookies. I’m addicted. In the past 3 weeks, I’ve made no less than 4 batches of these cookies. They’re so easy and that’s the problem! Friends have even requested them – for money. I was joking when I said $5/batch. But maybe I shouldn’t have been.

Why do you run, Kel? So I can eat cookies!

__________________

I ask you –

Do you have a symbolic piece of jewelry?

Are you a self-proclaimed cookie addict, too?

If you or anyone you know have thoughts of suicide or are struggling with mental health, please reach out to a trusted friend, coworker, significant other…anyone. There are also many organizations dedicated to helping you. You may also dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Help is always available.

(The post A Few (More) of My Favorite Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)