Mission Accomplished

A few weeks ago, Parts excitedly told me at 40 I needed to start having annual mammograms. So I scheduled one. TMI I’m not sure how this all works with the diminutive size of my breast material but whatever.

I’m still a little bitter that Parts told me I had to have one. But shouldn’t she, too? We could have made this a joint activity!

On the anticipated mammogram day, I figured out how it worked. It will forever be known as “The great smash and dash!” Which oddly sounds like I’m committing a felony and is truly exciting.

Behold! My boob!

Ok, if you don’t think it’s funny that I’m making jokes about having a mammogram, then I’m sorry; feel free to never read my posts ever again. Yes, I am aware of the seriousness of breast cancer as I have a very close friend currently in the throes of chemotherapy which will be followed by surgery, then culminating in radiation. It’s serious. And my heart hurts for her. I am not making light of her situation, or anyone else’s. However, if you know me well, you know I have the absolute worst sense of humor when it comes to serious things, like death, funerals, and, now, mammograms. It’s my coping mechanism. Could be worse, maybe?

Fortunately, the results indicated no issues except a gentle warning I have dense breast tissue and I have been granted a reprieve until next year.

Other things -:

The week of the great smash and dash included the great grab and smash. I’m onto something.

100 lbs – Deadlift

70 lbs – Overhead Press

For context, 100 lbs is approx 70% of my bodyweight. And I’ve never lifted anything close to 70 lbs over my head. This “realization phase” was quite a success!

A week of reloading, then a week completely off from everything. Except running, of course. Then, I’ll start another 5-week routine.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

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I ask you –

For my mammary-beholden friends, have you completed your annual mammogram?

(The post Mission Accomplished first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Hey, what a great idea!

Whoever decided to save the consumer some money is a genius, in my opinion. I don’t need another bottle or vessel or container. I just need a refill! I’m already purchasing expensive shampoo, I don’t require another of the brand’s probably excessively marked up plastic. Just unscrew the cap, turn it over, and pour!

It’s taken 10 years but Mini finally stopped biting her nails. There hasn’t been a lot I could say to help, console, or threaten as I was nearly her exact age when I stopped biting mine. So we continue to celebrate with polish! Best idea!

On the horizon: my little area of Texas will be a recipient of the great Texas Blue Bell tour! Two days of giveaways, free ice cream, and fun activities. I can’t wait!

____________________________

I ask you –

I’m obviously in the immediate weeks leading to vacation so these posts are just not the epitome of my word breadth. I’ll try to do better.

(The post Hey, what a great idea! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Girl, yes, you do

A compilation of the random things I tell myself and what I’d tell many women navigating life –

Girl, you don’t need another eye cream. You need a consistent sleep routine.

Girl, you don’t need excuses. You need actions.

Girl, you don’t need to use AI. You need to use 4 functioning brain cells.

Girl, you don’t need to date someone in the church. You were told to bring someone to church! If you read this and think these shoes fit you, they probably do. Put them on, march yourself outside, and start looking.

Girl, you don’t need any more energy drinks and you sure don’t need to check your blood pressure while drinking it. You need water!

Girl, you don’t need another cookie…wait, yes, you do!

P.S. do not try the newest Blue Bell flavor, chocolate lava cake. I want it all for myself!

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I ask you –

Anything to add to this compilation?

Have you tried the new ice cream flavor?!

(The post Girl, yes, you do first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Data Circles & Cycles

Screw this. -me, most of the time

You see that thing that says “Intensification Phase”? Well, the me who created this plan to coincide the Intensification Phase with my Luteal Phase (pre-period week, for any non-ovary owners) was an absolute idiot. My stomach looks like I drink beer for a living, and I’m craving donuts. Nonstop. I feel like garbage, I look like garbage, and my bloated belly is both uncomfortable and very unfortunate for my workout goals. I hate this part.

So, instead of complaining, kidding, I’m doing that anyway, I suck it up and complete the hellish workout, for intensification purposes only. Might even throw in a good run, to round off the rage and loathing. But, wait, there’s more! After the intensification phase is a lovely phase titled the Realization Phase, which is a nice way to say you’re about to lift some heavy a** sh*t and you’ll be powerful and awesome and toned and kick butt all day! Just don’t die.

And another thing! This is the worst time to learn a new skill, such as data analysis using this fun little program called Power Bi. It’s not fun. I should have been able to plug in an Excel document, tell it to analyze the data, and a happy graphic pop out. Ha. What I got was a headache, convoluted data, and no happy graphic. I did receive a graph, but it didn’t have anything populated so it was basically blank and unhappy. Much like me.

Fortunately, the very next day post-Power Bi BS was fraught with zero Internet connection so everyone received a reprieve from work. Haha sort of. Not me though. I had a 2-day unexpected delivery of fitness equipment I think everyone forgot about. They said delivery in April, then May. Almost July is good. There was trash scattered from one end of the facility to the other. I walked 18,000 steps that day and, if I’d known what the day would bring, I would not have run!

But guess who didn’t have to Power Bi that day? This girl! Alas, I still have tutorials to watch. And data to analyze. Pie chart, anyone?

Welcome to PMS, friends. It will probably get worse before it gets better but maybe it’s just the hormones talking. Maybe I can make a graph of mood swings.

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I ask you –

How does the Power Bi thing work? I’m googling demos.

(The post Data Circles & Cycles first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

June Recap! And Creatine Feedback!

There was a lot of strength training, some runs, and many days at the pool! Floating, of course.

I realized I haven’t been giving proper updates on the short disciples but, let me assure you, they are alive and well. And I am not. Alive maybe, but not well. Summer changes them into little gremlins. The class sizes have almost doubled, I’ve solo’d more times than I care to count, and if I am asked one more time for a prize – from the least well-behaved child – I might start throwing a fit on the floor. But I keep showing up.

Which is what June’s workouts were…a lesson in showing up. I eventually figured out the back pain was actually glute pain from (drumroll, please) not wearing my old lady orthotic shoe inserts. I suppose my hip/back/glutes began to take the brunt of the foot issues. Hence the revolt. Once I returned to wearing them regularly, almost all pain disappeared. Magical.

I guess some are expecting a creatine update, too, huh? Here goes –

Dare I say it’s not a problem to be fixed. The last several years, I have expected…demanded…perfection from myself. No missteps, all A’s, keep every ball in the air, no room for failure. Yet my brain cannot be expected to keep up. At some point, it will flounder for words, simple words, simple things I shouldn’t forget but have. But the big things? I don’t forget them. The big balls stop it Kel are still in the air, floating victoriously toward their finish line. Small balls? Well. They rolled away.

So what if I struggle for some meaningless term to describe the thing that changes the channel. Or that dude’s name. Or what I ate for breakfast. Who cares.

My very real and noticeable effects thus far are in exercise performance, specifically long-lasting energy during workouts and a reduction in post-strength training soreness (aka DOMS).

Now…does that mean I won’t keep trying to obtain a fix or placebo for brain fog and memory issues? Hahhaha. No. I’m not the type to give up. Maybe it doesn’t happen in 30 days. Maybe it takes 60 or 90. I’ll keep trying until I have determined all options have been expended.

I’ve decided to continue another 30 days with a daily creatine regimen but with one major update: a dosage increase. Research points to pre-menopausal women who regularly strength train and incorporate a cardio element, i.e., me, have shown cognitive success (in addition to exercise performance success) when utilizing a max load phase of 15-20g for 3-7 days, followed by supplementation of 5-10g indefinitely. Interestingly, upon full discontinuation, creatine remains elevated for approximately 30 days. What does this all mean? It means there’s promise in the creatine realm and I intend to explore it! (Smith-Ryan, A. E., Cabre, H. E., Eckerson, J. M., & Candow, D. G. (2021). Creatine Supplementation in Women’s Health: A Lifespan Perspective. Nutrients, 13(3), 877. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu13030877)

I do plan to talk to my doctor about prescribing creatine. If he balks, I’ll calmly explain that since social experiments are frowned upon (how unfair!), then allowing me to conduct my own medical experiment as the only subject should be an acceptable alternative. Regardless of placebo effect, there was/is an effect and I’m enjoying the longevity it gives me during workouts. I’m now taking 20g for 7 days (5-11 Jul), then returning to a 10g dose for the remainder of the 30 days.

Basically, more to come. Standby for another update in 30 days.

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I ask you –

Did you expect a positive creatine report?

Tell me something crazy about your June!

(The post June Recap! And Creatine Feedback! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Dance and its related sacrifices

It’s Mini’s world. I just live in it. Apparently.

Finally, the culmination of months of dance, dance practices, rehearsals, fall recital, costume changes, new shoes, and lost accessories – henceforth, the recital! This is the first year Mini hasn’t been galivanting across the U.S. on her summer travels so she actually had time to participate in the final 4 weeks leading up to the big summer recital. I didn’t know how much work went into the final weeks. Somehow we also managed a volleyball camp in here, too, which is shocking. And ambitious.

My biggest complaint…only complaint…is I missed the mud volleyball tournament because, apparently, our city chose the short stick (for 2 years in a row?!) to host Independence Day festivities the weekend prior to the holiday. I’m irked. This same weekend coincided with recital so decisions were made. I chose volleyball and I was vetoed. So here I am in a dress instead of a swimsuit covered in mud. What a sacrifice.

So what’s next? A 6-week break, then we do it again! I can’t recall at the moment but I do believe Mini is doing musical theater and ballet next semester? I don’t know.

This is fun, right?!

____________________________

I ask you –

When does your community host July 4th festivities?

Does it overlap nearby cities?

(The post Dance and its related sacrifices first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Please take a moment

To acknowledge I have no idea what I’m doing.
To offer thanks I didn’t kill anyone with terrible canning safety techniques. See above.

To admire my newest WordPress achievement. Although I publish all posts at the same time of the day.

To really read my emails (oh, boss). Please marvel at the profound analysis I selflessly provided you. Because “good copy” just isn’t the response I was hoping for.

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I ask you –

Name something you’d like your friends/family/coworkers to take a moment for!

(The post Please take a moment first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A girl and her purchases

It’s been “years” since we had a girl’s day, according to mini. So, during a midweek holiday, we drank coffee, shopped, and genuinely enjoyed not being rushed or fighting huge crowds of people with the same intentions.

On the drive home, the song Lowrider came on the radio. Mini’s body instinctively started moving. She just can’t help herself. Raised on good music from only the best decades (ahem), and with her dancer’s heart, her arms were moving, her head was going another direction, and her body was wiggling. She proudly exclaimed, “I don’t know what this is but it’s a jam!”

For posterity, of course

I support local

Noodle monster

She supports anything with boba

Earlier in the day, she couldn’t know I was lost in thought regarding a commercial – something about Kelsey Grammer saying veterans return from missions often hampered by internal and external turmoil, dealing with what they’ve seen or experienced but unable to openly share the struggles. It reminded me of a post I had seen that morning regarding how the stigma of PTSD was reduced by removing the D, the word disorder from it. PTS is somehow not as triggering as PTSD although the concept, symptoms, treatment, and worldview mostly remain the same. Are you following? The post went on to say just because you reduced the acronym doesn’t mean a veteran should reduce their need to firmly continue using the full PTSD terminology when seeking VA benefits or any kind of medical care.

Stay with me here. Mini couldn’t have known I was down this rabbit hole. We’re driving. Amicable silence. Me lost in thought. Apparently she was, too. Because she blurts out, “Mom, do grasshoppers bite?!” Her innocence knocked me out of my loophole. No, I don’t know if they bite. But I do know that perhaps the girl’s day was more about self-care and reconnection than it was about the shopping or the coffee.

The screenshot above is courtesy of Mission 22 via Instagram. There are several slides detailing the changes so please use the link I furnished to read further.

Moral of the story –

You can change the acronym but you can’t change the very real effects. You can remove a word but you can’t remove being seen. You can request the VA update their terminology but you should never expect a veteran to overlook what is happening to them and the care they deserve to receive.

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I ask you –

Ask mini how she pronounces purchases. Trust me. You’ll need this laugh!

(The post A girl and her purchases first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

How Judy Blume Did Not Prepare Me

A book I regularly quote and recommend to anyone, especially young female readers, is “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” by Judy Blume. Published in 1970, it was a staple in every library. The innocent hilarity and truth to real issues made this book a must read.

So imagine my delight when I read the following: (forgive the language)

As I finished a recent run, the humidity did nothing to alleviate my overheating issues. I sat in front of a fan to cool off while my face felt as if there were waves of heat rolling off my skin. I considered maybe heat stroke had prepared me for eventual perimenopause and my body was finally understanding what it meant to disperse heat. A girl can dream.

The posts may be short but the hot flashes are long.

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I ask you –

Have you read anything written by Judy Blume?

(The post How Judy Blume Did Not Prepare Me first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fitness Update + Midway Creatine Trial

I love watching young people walk into the fitness centers, load the bar with 180 lbs, then proceed to crank out 15 chest presses. I don’t really love this. I want to ask what was the warm up, did they stretch, are they hydrated? Me? It’s a full prehab, post-hab, rehab and I still get injured!

Wrapping up another Garmin training plan of the big 5 – squat, deadlift, chest presses, overhead press, and row. I’ve consistently lifted 3-5x/week since October and my body is stronger because of it. Sure, we all know we’re supposed to be doing it but yeah yeah yeah. Who has the time? The energy? Answer: no one! However, maintaining any kind of lifestyle requires a lot of dedication. I almost wrote sacrifice instead of dedication but I don’t believe it’s true – I’m not sacrificing anything, I’m no martyr. But dedication? I got this.

Although it’s not about the size or weight, I’ve been maintaining a size I was in high school (ohhhh about 23 years ago) and I weigh less now than I did then. Even with running and muscle mass! Lord knows I lived on Twix bars and chicken in high school so not only incredibly unhealthy but fraught with disordered-thinking. Today? I feel good.

Update on the creatine trial: by the time of this post, I’ll have indulged in daily creatine for 16 days so nearly half the month. First, placebo effect is real. Second, I haven’t witnessed any eye-opening changes. Glutes are the same, in case you wondered. Brain fog seems to have not changed, although I don’t know how I would feel or even know if it wasn’t there. I’ve tested myself a few times to see how long it takes me to remember the word I was trying to say in the moment and maybe it’s a shade faster since starting creatine? I’m still trying though!

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I ask you –

On average, how long should it take for a person to notice the effects of a supplement?

(The post Fitness Update + Midway Creatine Trial first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)