Celebratory (Cup)Cake

10 years total as active duty + civilian! I’m blessed to have the perspective of both sides of the uniform and two different military branches. There was nothing easy about either; however, I make a better civilian than I did in NWUs.

This seemingly rickety bridge has been around longer than 10 years. Probably 100. As you can see, the Wichita River is flowing courtesy of the recent rains. As several of us volunteered to set up an obstacle run, the Texas-sized mosquitoes tried to carry us off. We prevailed.

Surviving an incredibly long, stressful, packed week warranted ice cream and cupcakes. The ice cream? Meh. I think Cookie Two Step rates much higher on the “you gotta try this” scale. Brookie A La Mode just didn’t do it for me.

The star of the show was the cupcakes. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it before, but when I was stationed in Pensacola my first year in the Navy, my best friend, Sam, turned me on to Kimberly’s cupcakes. Who knows how many cupcakes were consumed as we tried them all. All. I don’t recall ever eating a bad Kimberly’s cupcake. It’s the perfect blend of frosting and super soft, moist cake. They are divine. When I lived in Virginia, I could still purchase Kimberly’s cupcakes. However, upon moving back to Texas, I only recall seeing Kimberly’s cupcakes a handful of times in the local grocery stores. It’s been at least 5 years since their last sighting. Until now! A new (to me) grocery chain recently opened and they have Kimberly’s cupcakes. This will not end well.

I didn’t set out to celebrate 10 years with the customary ice cream and cake yet somehow it found me when I needed it. Thanks, Kimberly, wherever and whoever you are.

_______________

I ask you –

Have you ever tried Kimberly’s cupcakes?

What are your thoughts on the Blue Bell flavor?

(The post Celebratory (Cup)Cake first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Moments of Resilience

Turns out I’m allergic to patterned carpet. Dramatic much, Kel. Obviously I’m not allergic. More like averse to it. The patterns are optical and often symmetrical enough to prompt a very dizzying effect. Hotels, classrooms, and educational training sites often utilize this type of carpet which really causes issues with my brain. Or equilibrium. You know what else causes all the sneezing? Beautiful, resilient, blooms, like these flowers. How can something so gorgeous create so many issues?!

CMSgt Fabrienne Burnett

This incredible woman made a few last minute stops on her way to retirement and I was so humbled to be a part of her waypoint. You see, she just returned from deployment in a war-torn, volatile area. Sure, she’s done her fair share of deployments but the emotion I felt in her presence was stained with exhaustion, and dare I say, an undercurrent of hurt. The sheer fact that she took it upon herself to say goodbye rather than fading into R&R without a rear view speaks volumes of her commitment. CMSgt Burnett is one of a kind. I’ve seen some good ones, but she is a great one. And to say she will be missed is an understatement. At a recent commander’s call, our commander asked for a raise of hands to indicate who knew or had been impacted by Chief. Nearly the entire room had a hand raised. As I looked around at the faces of those with their hands up, it was apparent the impression she had made. People were smiling. And that’s what people did when they saw her in her office, out and about, in their spaces. They smiled. She cared. And she will be missed.

All this to say, the empathic part of me accepted her emotions. As the day went on, I kept coming back to those emotions, visible in her eyes and the long hug – needing connection, stability, and a listening ear. The next day, I had grand plans to run, to do things, to be productive. Instead, I couldn’t find the energy. I knew if I didn’t sit with the emotions, my mind and body would eventually force me to do so. When it hits, there’s no pause button, no “please schedule a time…”. So I sat. I rested. I felt. This is the resilience we often speak of. The acknowledgement to ourselves we are strong, even when weak.

Even as the flowers are beautiful, they are equally resilient. If only my nose was the same.

________________

I ask you –

Have you someone in your life who embodies the core of resiliency?

(The post Moments of Resilience first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I Sit Alone

I’ve started, restarted, paused, abandoned, and now wait for the finality of a draft post, titled The Day I Had Coffee with Her. Some time ago, there was a social media trend of the same title, basically stating what you would tell your younger self. A few posts that came across my feed were very deep, mentioning trauma and abuse, while some just shared encouraging memories. I jumped on the proverbial wagon, but I didn’t finish it. Yet.

In a way, this is my homage to the unfinished post.

I sit alone. And I am unafraid. Never lonely. Yet alone. Some events make me question myself. Some even bring back very tough memories or experiences. Some I thought I was over. Turns out I’m not. So I sit alone with the pain.

Even when the fear ebbs and wanes, I am unafraid. Fear is psychological and I am aware of my limitations, my weaknesses, my inability to turn away from feeling it. Fear is not failure. And words do not own me. So I protect me by sitting alone.

Those old patterns are tempting. Too easy to return to my old ways. But I know every curve in the road, every pothole waiting to derail me. Swerve. I sit alone, in the driver’s seat, in control.

It’s lonely at the top. When the decisions rest on my shoulders and hard news is hard on everyone. I sit alone, pondering how much easier it would have been to gloss over the truth, to abandon what must be said. I could invite others to sit with me. Yet the consequences are far too great. I sit alone out of self-respect.

I’m not sorry for choosing to sit alone, when the choice is mine. I’m not a failure for sitting alone when the choice is made for me. Sitting is an opportunity to rest. And no one knows me better than me. So I sit alone.

________________

I ask you –

Are you familiar with the “Coffee with Her” trend?

(The post I Sit Alone first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle

The Pareto Principle aka the 80/20 Rule

Named after economist Vilfredo Pareto, the Pareto Principle states 80% of results are from 20% of causes which implies only a small amount of the minority is actually driven by the majority. This disproportionate principle is often viewed from the people standpoint, i.e., 80% of the work is completed by 20% of the people. So what about the remaining work and/or people? Well, this is where life is not fair. Equal distribution is a myth, much like the term “balance”.

Businesses would lead us to believe that rewarding the 20% encourages the remaining percentage to do better. No such evidence exists. As some are more motivated by consequences, it is difficult to tell if these are positive or negative consequences. Nonetheless, it can be quite frustrating to be the 20% completing 80% of the work while the remaining workforce contributes little. Wealth distribution was Pareto’s basis for this principle, which relied on statistical tools. Today, many believe the Pareto Principle is manipulated and, therefore, not the universal principle originally touted.

One area where the Pareto Principle is applicable is time management. For example, working for 40-45 mins, then taking a 15-20 min break. Yes, I know it’s not 80/20, work with me here. Most training curriculums mimic this style because studies have shown the attention span is approximately 11 minutes and taking a 10 min break every 60 mins encourages physical and mental reprieve.

I won’t say this one is the most interesting. However, I will say it’s the most common (to me). In a rapidly changing society of differing generational norms, I was raised to work hard, to own my behavior and mistakes, and to strive for the top. It does not seem this way anymore.

More to come!

________________

I ask you –

Without adding “but” or “because”, ask yourself – are you the 80% or the 20%?

(The post Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Ten!

We celebrated 10 years! Instead of the traditional party, we made a quick trip to DFW to eat, shop, and generally create chaos. Success! With cash in hand, Mini made good choices and reckless choices, but her “loot” (as she calls it) was quite satisfying.

A fabulous brunch at The Brunch District in Addison. Truly a best kept secret. Mini’s Eggs Benedict stole the show. Once a girl who avoided anything considered spicy, she has opened her mind and taste buds to new things…and a taste for simple spicy.

We drank a lot of coffee. Of course. The Ninja Kids Adventure Park was also a hit.

And we shopped until we nearly dropped. Better than a party, in my opinion, and so much fun. The experience was worth the drive, the stormy weather, and the very late arrival home.

My sweet 10-yr-old is a happy, kind, beautiful, strong, young lady with an appreciation for fun and chaos. Her wide smile is shared with everyone. And her critical opinions are both humorous and fearsome. As some would say, she’s a hoot!

___________________

I ask you –

Tell me your favorite birthday memory!

(The post Ten! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

March Movement + Random Recap

March movement totals weren’t too bad considering this new age bracket. 40+. It looks like I decreased on the two-a-day workouts, but it was probably for the best.

In other news, another season of intramural volleyball is upon us. Allow me to introduce The Shiny Ones –

Our losing streak is alive and well. Oh well. I must say, though, the team has come a long way and definitely looks more comfortable on the court. The elusive winning streak may or may not come, but, if fun is the intention, then they win every time.

________________

I ask you –

What are the odds The Shiny Ones win at least 1 game this season? About the same as the Bears winning the Super Bowl next year.

…very possible!

(The post March Movement + Random Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pirating the Big Easy

Quick trip to New Orleans, complete with a course of training. When in Rome…we do all the things the Orlians do. Or whatever they said.

So much coffee.

And cozy spots to chat.

And balconies.

A trip to restore the mind, body, and soul. Many conversations were had, and many will live in infamy. Alas, that’s what best friends are for.

________________

I ask you –

What does “when in Rome” mean to you?

(The post Pirating the Big Easy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

1%

I forgot to mention a pretty amazing email I received on my birthday. Not the freebies. An invitation to publish in the US Public Administration Journal (USPAJ). I was floored. It’s been almost a year since I defended my dissertation and graduated, but there is never an end date on research and scholarship. It is a process to have it peer reviewed then published. However, it was a process to get this far so what’s new.

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

If 1% of humans serve in the military and 1% of humans earn a PhD, then what is the percentage of veteran women with a PhD? According the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs, in 2023, 1.7% of women veterans have earned a PhD. In fact, trends point to higher education attainment in women veterans and women nonveterans versus men veterans/nonveterans.

Other interesting facts –

Only 1% of the population is truly ambidextrous. Many believe (or claim) ambidexterity; however, it means equal strength, ability, etc.
Chenowith, while studying civil disobedience, found it takes just 3.5% of nonviolent campaigns to spark political change.
Experience Aphantasia, a rare condition which prevents a person from visualizing an image in their mind, impacting the ability to dream or remember, among other issues.

Although I have only listed a few instances of 1% facts, undoubtedly there exists countless other examples. In this day of roughly billions of human inhabitants, it can be difficult to believe there are still rarities which exist. Not to worry, I still believe you are special!

________________

I ask you –

Are you part of a certain 1%?

(The post 1% first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Expand Your Mind, pt 2 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect

Up next, we have The Dunning-Kruger Effect – the premise is people who know the least often feel the most confident.

This particular phenomenon is one of the funniest to me because it posits one’s own incompetence prevents them from recognizing their level of incompetence. Basically, they think they’re smarter than they really are. Don’t we all know someone like this.

It originated in the late 1990s by Dunning and Kruger, psychologists who studied social limitations. This effect opines that a cognitive bias causes a person to overestimate their competence, including painting a comparative picture of believing what comes easily to you must be the same for everyone else. Unfortunately, people experiencing (or portraying) the Dunning-Kruger effect are inherently resistant to change and to being taught what they do not know. Remember, they think they know it already. Bunch of know-it-alls.

This effect mimics the saying “I don’t know what I don’t know”. As seemingly humble as this phrase is, it is a problem when recognizing how to overcome the limitation collides with what is already known. The “self-inflated assessment” of one’s own abilities may lead to mismatched perceptions, evaluations, and merit. Often, the Dunning-Kruger effect is easily recognizable in those who confidently speak about topics they are not masters of.

Notably, children may fall into the trap of believing they are experts after having completed the task/activity/skill once. Upon the next opportunity, when the task does not go as well as it did before, there is a moment of consciousness whereby competence is questioned. “Unskilled and unaware” is how Kruger (1999) described his original research. Hence the loudest voice is not always the wisest.

As far as phenomenon’s go, I actually expected more from this one. Despite knowing many who may be suffering the negative effects of this phenomenon, more worrisome is it seems some don’t know how to fix it or refuse to do so, whereby it simply indicates stupidity.

More to come!

________________

I ask you –

Were you aware of the Dunning-Kruger effect? Perhaps it goes by a different name in your circle?

(The post Expand Your Mind, pt 2 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 10 (in progress)

On my birthday weekend, Mini outdid herself! She ran a 5k with me, she finally showed up to help me with the short disciples, and she found a new bathing suit! All tougher than they look.

A whole photo shoot, courtesy of mini.

For 3.14, we celebrated Pie Day with a 5k and pie! Any excuse to eat pie is a good one in my book, so I didn’t need convincing. Mini chose blueberry pie, which we both enjoyed. She came in first in her age group…and now that I’m in a new age bracket (40-49) I also placed first in my age group!

The following week I managed 2 runs, twice as many as achieved nearly the entire month prior. Now, to keep the streak alive.

Not much for this post. Hope you all have an amazing day!

________________

I ask you –

If you like pie, what is your favorite? Aunt Mary Catherine’s blueberry pie.

(The post Outtakes, episode 10 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)