What I Really Miss!

Lies of Motherhood and other things they said I would enjoy but do not:

You’ll miss: getting kicked in the back or spleen or forehead whilst co-sleeping
You’ll miss: spending hundreds of dollars to dress them each season
You’ll miss: the level of exhaustion that comes from any sentence beginning with “Help Me”
You’ll miss: being bitten during breastfeeding
You’ll miss: throwing snacks at them like wild animals poised to attack
You’ll miss: a snarky ‘Why?!’ when asking them to do anything (including the things they WANT to do)

Truth be told, there’s people even funnier than me. And I don’t say that lightly. Here’s where I’d like to share I’m a tough crowd, that it takes a lot to make me laugh. But that’s a big lie! I laugh at everything: you, me, the dream I had last week where I literally woke myself up laughing loudly. Let’s not forget I’m still laughing about what made me laugh at my dad’s funeral nearly 25 years ago. I just now nearly made a joke that started with “we’ve got a live one” but I see I’m talking about a funeral so live one jokes might be a bit much.

Considering starting a spin-off of Running on Fumes titled “I Met All My Husbands in the Police Report”. Perhaps it won’t be received well, but I’m overflowing with great ideas! Also, did you know there is a limit to how many espresso shots Starbucks will give you before they cut you off?! Me neither! And it’s 12. Now you know.

I leave you with this: A woman was asked ‘What is the best thing about being 104 years old?’ She replied: ‘No peer-pressure.’

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I ask you –

What on my list reasonates with you?

Do you think my spin-off title will endear me to anyone?

Share your best joke!

Day in Photos, pt 921

“Day in Photos” started when I realized there were a lot of photos in my phone that maybe didn’t fit whatever topic I was writing about during the day/week. Now look at it. Just look at it! It’s become a successful way to share a whole bunch of photos, very few words, and still count as a blog post!

Let’s begin –

brand

I’m madly in love with my logo and what my sister gifted me with on our birthday: branded apparel. I truly enjoy advertising for other small, local, women-owned, military-owned, etc brands – and will continue to do so – but I also need to share my own!

oh the drama

No matter how many times I say ‘the foam roller is not a toy’ it never fails to become a group activity. Not really a group type of girl. Solo foam rolling is much appreciated. Unbeknownst to me, some people have no clue what a foam roller is or what it does. All I can say is it hurts so good!

sister, sister

Leaving you with this photo of my twin. It’s been nice catching up lately. Never a dull moment when she’s around!

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I ask you –

How often are you shocked at the number of phone photos you have amassed?

Are there items in your home with the designation “not a toy'”?

Tell me your sibling(s) name(s)!

Weekly Training Record, wk 3

Daughter Date!

Trampoline places are the equivalent of a relatively inexpensive way to discover you have a weak pelvic floor. Also, supportive sports bras should be required. Some women will regret their choices tomorrow.

Having a “date” with my (only) child somehow always ends with ice cream. And by ends I mean ice cream is the whole point of the date! There are few rules on girl’s date night/day so ice cream could be at 9am or 9pm. I make the rules around here. Braums is our regular hangout, but Dairy Queen will do in a pinch. We didn’t have Braums on the east coast so I’m making up for lost time. According to my internal ice cream tracker, I’m behind approximately 6.76 years.

Speaking of daughter dates, it would be sad not to include my childhood best friend in this post! Morgan and I grew up together. She remembers my Dad, that’s how far back our friendship goes. If you’ll recall, she and I ran the 2018 Rock n’ Roll New Orleans Half Marathon, as well as this past December’s Stars at Night Half Marathon in San Antonio. Morgan has a huge heart and I’m so thankful for her friendship! Her love of Mexican food is my next favorite thing. Bonus: her birthday is 2 days after mine. I’m sure our parents were just overjoyed when we ingeniously thought of joint birthday parties.

You’d think after nearly a year of part time teleworking we could get this figured out. You’d think, but… My work from home days are still a confusing piece of the week mixed with a little frustration, lots of annoyed looks, and sometimes some tears. Lucky guess on what belongs to whom. I’m eternally grateful to games, letter boards, badminton, and whatever the above photo shows of this shaker glue thingy. It makes it to where I can get approximately 3 minutes of work done before moving on to the next thing or playing maid.

I’ve heard it said going to work is hard. I disagree. Staying home is harder. And somehow louder. Yet the 3 mins to do some work before interruption is still the same. Imagine that.

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I ask you –

Do you have regular dates with your child(ren)? How often does it include ice cream?

Did you and your childhood best friend bond over a close birthdate?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans!

Training Updates!

Elvis would be so proud

To answer your question – the one you didn’t audibly ask – no. No, I don’t enjoy eating within 30 mins of waking up. It rather makes me feel like vomiting is an acceptable response. The only bright side, besides of course it giving me energy, is it makes me need to poop. haHA! Bet you didn’t see that gem coming! Trust me, it’s better to have an urge while you’re still at home than mid-way (or any way) into a long run.

Alas, this is what long run weekends tend to look like. Or pre-work runs. If you want to run, you have to eat, Kel. Contrary to popular belief, most running cycles won’t inherently cause you to lose weight. I can put on weight while training because the hunger is serious. However, water weight and dehydration are my downfall. Throughout my weeks of training, I expect to lose several pounds. Anything more than 8 begins a range of problems. So I eat when I’m hungry and aim for very electrolyte-rich beverages to combat dehydration. So when you see me with food in one hand and a shopping list in the other, please be kind!

new favorite snack

Did I mention my local gym closed in…January? Or was it December? The writing was on the wall, but it still saddens me. Being a part of the Anytime Fitness community really opened my eyes to so much in the fitness world, as well as allowed me to meet some incredible people. If it wasn’t for the owners of an Anytime Fitness, I wouldn’t have started Running on Fumes when I did! Nearly two years ago, the DeStefano family put a lot of trust into me and happily gave me the reigns to write and share as I please. Forever thankful! Here we are today. I don’t know for certain if they still follow and read it, but, if you’re watching, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Where was I? Oh, right, AF closed. Maybe it’s just from my experience as part of several different locations in all kinds of capacities but there’s a problem with top-down leadership in the fitness scene. One day I might get a chance to open my own AF; that would be the ultimate test of ‘where does the problem lie’. In any case, I haven’t joined another gym. Probably won’t for awhile. I still feel very loyal to AF, but I own most of what I regularly used inside the gym and it’s tough to balance a strength training regimen with a training cycle. I do have a full-time job, you know. My local area is pretty well saturated with gyms – big box options and more exclusive types – so if/when I decide to re-join I can visit this issue again. In the mean time, it is what it is.

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I ask you –

Are you the rather rare person who can eat upon waking? Just coffee for me, thanks.

Have you ever experienced your gym suddenly closing?

Tell me about someone, who by taking a chance on you, changed your life!

Training Records!

Wanna…Go for a Bike Ride?

Cross training? What’s that? Admittedly, I know I should be cross training during a training cycle, but usually what happens is I get so focused on running, it’s all I want/make time to do. Terrible, Coach.

This time, I’m following my own tried-and-true advice! Instead of walking or, my personal favorite, more running – introducing cycling! Let me tell you my quads were sufficiently sore after only 15 mins of cycling. The glute pain lasted much longer. Seems cycling mimics downhill running very well which will be super helpful at May’s Texas Triple because there’s a short section on each lap that kills my quads! If you allow it to happen, turnover on the downhill portion will have you running a 5 min/mile. Athletes who regularly do this are mind blowing. P.S. the number mentioned isn’t a guess, I personally saw my watch register this pace as I was flying down the hill. Exhilarating and a little scary! Stopping? Impossible!

As usual, I digress. Regular cycling should be helpful this time around. Worst case scenario: I develop overly muscular quads and thighs then run like a wiener dog. Unlikely. These bird legs of mine have required much of me to embrace.

In terms of cycling, guess who has almost successfully taught her mini to ride a bicycle sans training wheels?! It’s me!!! Pretty sure the very core of my patience has been tested, as well as every muscle in my lower back from leaning over her, but, HEY!, she’s almost there! Who needs to stand upright anyway?! She’s making great strides, no pun intended. Relatedly, I heard a story of a young lady turning 6 years old a few weeks ago and she thought upon her 6th birthday, she would somehow inherently know how to ride a bicycle then. Like – POOF! She also thought she’d be much bigger at that point, too, so here we are.

My birthday is this weekend. Lucky 13. I’m not sure what I ever envisioned mid-30’s looking like, but I hope I wake up that morning with the ability to whistle loudly! POOF!

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I ask you –

Will cycling give me Dachshund-style legs?

How old were you when you learned to ride a bicycle? I was probably 4-5 yrs old. My siblings told me to sit on a “big bike” then proceeded to push me down the front walkway. It was sink or swim time and I was full speed ahead from then on!

Tell me your lucky number!

Training Records

The Talk / History Lesson

In current world news, on today’s newest episode of “I’m seriously not qualified for this job!”, I’ve been tasked with talking to a teenage girl about how underage drinking and smoking are very serious and should not be taken lightly. Great, just great. Not qualified, under qualified, whatever you want to say. This was not included in the parenthood guide! Well, maybe it was, but the kind doctors and nurses simply forgot to give me mine when they gave me all the other paperwork to complete post-birth. I was robbed!

I’m not cut out for the enormous responsibility of these oh-so-important life talks. I genuinely don’t know what to say. But then I think back to working with children from unimaginable hardship. In a leadership position, I climbed my way up; somehow I did it then. Younger, more confident perhaps? Now I just sit here cringing, thinking WHY ME?! Again, I’m not qualified. No joke, Kel. My mother told us the story of her father finding out she smoked. She said her father made her smoke an entire cigar (his poison of choice) as punishment/lesson learning/complete craziness if you ask me. She said it was awful. Plot twist: it didn’t make her quit smoking though. She just learned she didn’t like the taste of cigars. Seriously not helpful, Mom. I can, with complete honesty, say I have never smoked anything. Not once. The smell of cigarettes gives me the feeling of all the oxygen being pulled from my lungs. Can’t make this up. I literally feel like I can’t breathe. And I can smell cigarette smoke from other cars if sitting in traffic. Weird, I know. Smoking may be the grossest habit anyone can have. But it is a habit and I know too many who have struggled to quit because it’s truly an addiction. As for drinking? Let’s just say – when I think back to what I used to do, I’m lucky to be alive; we’ll leave it at that.

The advice given to me was to talk about the safety aspects: cancer, juvenile record, even death. Sounds harmless, no pun intended. I feel like if I cap it off with a sentence sounding like ‘I was once your age and I did the same things, blah blah blah’ then it’s a well rounded conversation. Yet somehow this feels like a giant cop out – back to the unqualified statement. On the subject again of my misplaced parenthood book, it probably states do not include stories of your own teenage misadventures. But I imagine it doesn’t give you other available options either. Those of you in possession of this elusive book, feel free to chime in, please.

There’s no winning here, is there? I suppose we just do what’s best in the moment, hope it turns out alright, and pray our children don’t end up in a mess only a miracle can fix. But there is a little voice inside me screaming ‘I’ll be damned if my child behaves this way!!’. She probably will. Face it now, Kel. My time is coming.

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I ask you –

Did you get a book?! If you did, can I borrow it?

Any weird adverse reactions to another’s addictive habits?

Tell me what I should say! P.S. this isn’t my child I’m talking to. She’s 4. Let’s not rush things.

What It Means to Blog

5 Things bloggers wish they could say

I couldn’t not laugh when I stumbled upon the above article. Couldn’t have said it better myself either! Here’s the deal: yes, I have a full time job – two if you count keeping a small child with an adult vocabulary and defiance like her mother…where was I going with this?…oh right, I keep that mini human alive; yes, I love to write so you could infer this blog is simply my hobby; yes, I ‘only’ publish a new post twice a week – but do you know what goes into these “just two” posts a week? Do you know what any of this takes?

I’m not pointing out how you may not understand. What I am doing is saying there’s more to this than type a little, insert a few photos, and wham bam a blog writer I am. Oh, a writer I certainly am!

The difference in being a blogger vs a writer is probably only a few words. Get it, get it. Perhaps being labeled a writer sounds more sophisticated whereas bloggers are a dime a dozen. Trust me when I say this isn’t true at all. From the post content to the stat analyzation to the photo taking to the all the extra publishing on other media platforms: it is work.

Now I’m sure none of my loyal readers have ever considered bloggers as opportunists; however, opportunities do come from capitalizing on various opportunities. To my understanding, this is where monetization comes into the picture. I, too, am hopeful one day I can make money from writing. So I don’t get overly upset when I have to scroll through ads or other tidbits before picking up the remainder of what I was reading. If it works for you, who am I to to say a thing? Previously, before starting my own blog, I did make money writing articles for someone else. It wasn’t much but I learned what to do/not do. Then I became my own boss!

In other words, there may be a time when these posts seem a little longer because I choose to advertise. Please excuse me while I seek out said opportunities. I’ll be over here “just” fulfilling a dream.

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I ask you –

Do you find yourself irritated to scroll a little farther down when reading a news article or other post?

What opportunities are you seeking in your personal or professional life?

Wham bam a writer I am!