Might as well put a disclaimer here because I already know.
Polarizing topic ahead.
For the better part of my adult life, and countless times in the military, I’ve been accused/subject to attention for/questioned (or whatever term you want to use) regarding unduly familiar relationships with others, both up and down the chain.
Honestly, I believe I just have the face of someone who can be trusted. Really, there’s no malicious intent. I have an invisible sign on my forehead stating “Please, tell me your life story”. I wish I was kidding. It happens so often it must be there, only visible to everyone else.
The reason I bring this up is not out of frustration or complaint or, even, excuse. It’s fascinating to me. I have very intimate relationships and knowledge of people I may only have had acquaintance-style encounters with. I know things. It often gets misconstrued to having formed very deep relationships with others (from an outsider’s perspective) yet I really do not have this depth. Yet I do. I believe it leads to jealousy and a lack of understanding in other relationships. I don’t know how to offer reassurance here, it’s just me. Must be that empath stuff again. Full disclosure: it is exhausting.
‘Tis my blog so I can be as transparent or as abstract as I wish. The fascination lies in knowing there are others out there with the same qualities and my research-focused brain wants to speak to them. I want to know how this happens…does it come from listening, from allowing others to speak freely, or from pointed questions? All of the above? Is it possible for others to cultivate these relationships with virtual strangers or is it proximity? I genuinely want to understand.
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I ask you –
Do you have strong relationships with acquaintances?
Is this a new idea to you?
(The post Loading… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Interesting achievement, Word Press. Must be calculated by IP address. I wonder if I know anyone in those countries.
Random moment: Origins of the term “Tiger Team” – in case you were wondering, Tiger Team is a term popularized by NASA in the 60’s but originated by the military. Used to mean a group of experts, or those with specialized skills, I almost choke on my laughter because any time I’ve seen it used in the military, it was a ragtag bunch of whackadoos thrown together for some stupid task. It went about as well as expected.
The real topic of this post –
I’m often guilty of using the phrase “that’s not me”, typically in response to a stereotype or a general identifier. For example, for many years, when confirmed with the ability to obtain a PhD, I’d say “that’s not me”. Another example, stepping into the political realm, my response is “that’s not me”. However, the more I get to know me, the more I see me. A PhD was me, it’s always been me, but I was afraid of failure, afraid of starting, afraid of holding myself accountable to what my heart desired. The political stuff? Ugh, jury is still out.
Power and influence are found in certain individuals. Books tell us how to hone our power, leaders share examples of how they use their power, and we can watch television of power gone wrong. Big ugh.
There’s big power, sure. But what if power lies in a small tweak to our structure. A name change, if you will. Dr. Suddenly it’s a wide world, a new power, an upgraded influence, a calling which perhaps was always there, if not for the small whisper of “that’s not me”.
It is you, Kel. And it is time you start using it.
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I ask you –
Is there something in your life you want to achieve or feel a calling for but doubt your ability to accomplish?
Did you know the origin of Tiger Team?!
(The post Global Influence first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Please allow me to rave about this incredible restaurant in Salem, Virginia: Mac & Bob’s. It’s a local establishment with quite an interesting history. Our 3 dishes below were incredible. I hate that this place is in Virginia, or maybe I don’t?, because I would eat here weekly.
CalzonePizzaChicken Alfredo
Unsurprisingly, mini can match me drink for a drink. Or coffee for a coffee rather. This girl enjoys it and pretty much knows what she likes. She did allow me to order for her once, and although I don’t think it was her favorite, she was gracious. Life is better with caffeine.
I have an insane amount of photos from graduation week/day/weekend prior.
Many of my photos from the Liberty University campus in Lynchburg, VA, are places I “spent” time at during my PhD program. Having not seen them in person until recently, I had a picture in my head. However, this could simply be the most beautiful campus I’ve ever seen.
We drank so much coffee driving to VA from TX. Not pictured: an additional 2 or so coffee shops in Virginia.
Tennessee Tennessee Virginia Virginia
It was an incredibly long drive with a very short day of ceremonies, but I would encourage anyone to walk the stage at whatever school one graduates from. It’s such an honor to be surrounded by others who probably experienced many of the same headaches and who also celebrated some of the same wins.
We survived a 2500+ mile round trip (in under 4 days) to arrive home to this surprise. Not entirely pictured: a ginormous key lime pie cheesecake. Might have eaten 3 pieces at once. Parts may give me the hardest time but her support is immeasurable.
Part’s handiwork
I’m saving the food and extra coffee photos for my next post. Standby.
Friends! Spectacular view
____________________
I ask you –
Even though I graduated in 2025, I waited a year to walk the stage. Hope you have much success in all your life’s endeavors!
(The post Commencement Funfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
I’m constantly humbled by opportunities to share my PhD journey. And I’m even more thankful to the military for the opportunity to obtain it.
Every chance I get, I tell people what the military did for my education. I have a $200K degree I didn’t pay for (in the traditional sense). Sure, they also paid a whopping $500K for my specialized military training. I’m easily worth 3/4 of a million dollars in education which makes me a billboard of information. However, what good is information if the people who need it don’t have access to it?
Which leads me here –
A week learning and growing into a role I see as mine for the taking. Attending a pilot course is a lot of pressure! Every day was a new pivot to absorb information, analyze data, or learn about myself. From resilience to SWOT analysis to mission/vision statements, every tool is available to be successful.
I genuinely believe every flight chief, activity manager, or leader at the course was willing and open to learn new things. Yet willingness is a funny concept. Not haha funny. For the 18 of us there, there are an equal number who may be unwilling to change. Perhaps even unable to change. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Many installations run the gamut from well-organized to actually in serious trouble. I heard some horror stories. I also heard stories of kindness and care. That’s the organization I want to serve
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I ask you –
When was the last time a training poured into you?
I forgot to mention a pretty amazing email I received on my birthday. Not the freebies. An invitation to publish in the US Public Administration Journal (USPAJ). I was floored. It’s been almost a year since I defended my dissertation and graduated, but there is never an end date on research and scholarship. It is a process to have it peer reviewed then published. However, it was a process to get this far so what’s new.
If 1% of humans serve in the military and 1% of humans earn a PhD, then what is the percentage of veteran women with a PhD? According the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs, in 2023, 1.7% of women veterans have earned a PhD. In fact, trends point to higher education attainment in women veterans and women nonveterans versus men veterans/nonveterans.
Other interesting facts –
Only 1% of the population is truly ambidextrous. Many believe (or claim) ambidexterity; however, it means equal strength, ability, etc.
Chenowith, while studying civil disobedience, found it takes just 3.5% of nonviolent campaigns to spark political change.
Experience Aphantasia, a rare condition which prevents a person from visualizing an image in their mind, impacting the ability to dream or remember, among other issues.
Although I have only listed a few instances of 1% facts, undoubtedly there exists countless other examples. In this day of roughly billions of human inhabitants, it can be difficult to believe there are still rarities which exist. Not to worry, I still believe you are special!
________________
I ask you –
Are you part of a certain 1%?
(The post 1% first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Not our usual background, but we both love this color so much!
In a turn of events, the adult helper I’m usually paired with has decided she can’t stand me and has resigned from her position. It’s not you, it’s me. Kidding. Halfway. She has resigned, but assured me it was not my fault. Like all nice people would say. So it was just me, solo, alone, in the midst of wild children, again. Somehow we all survived because, if you will recall, serving solo has become a pattern.
To think people trust me with their children is surprising yet not. I worked with kids for a long time, and aren’t adults just oversized children anyway? Do you know what is difficult? Getting hired as an adjunct professor! Countless submissions, hours of searching – still nothing. Not a single hit. I’m not sure what the hiring committees are looking for, but I don’t have it (or I don’t know how to market it). I really underestimated the challenges of applying to teach.
Meanwhile, I’m keeping upwards of 13 young people alive, well, and engaged. Shouldn’t this count for something?
Recognizing we’re already into 2026 and the numbers post was already published, I still feel as if there is more to say about 2025.
my thinking face
More Lessons
I allowed people to disrupt my life when I should have never given them the time of day. Lesson: less allowance.
I succumbed to bad moods made possible by others who have no control over my emotions. Lesson: own my day.
I negated my reach by questioning simple responses. Lesson: commit to the answer.
It’s in the Ask
Countless instances exist of asking someone to help and then they accept. It’s not rocket science. Yet we are so quick to assume/presume/outright believe without evidence that no one wants to help or be part of a task/duty/event. How do you know if you do not ask? I use this line all the time. And what’s the worst that could happen? They say no!? Show me where it isn’t worth your time and effort just to ask.
I make it a point to ask what the end game, end goal, desired outcome, or expectation is during most conversations where I know there is a decision to be made. Trust me, it alleviates any confusion. Just tell me what you want!
_____________________
I ask you –
Did you learn any lessons in 2025?
(The post Addendumfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
I cannot believe this is the final post of 2025. Absolutely insane. I’m reminded of this time last year, when I knew I would soon begin the research data portion of my PhD, both excited and terrified. What a ride. 2025 was amazing.
The word of the year was anew. Truly I encountered several new experiences and I feel I emerged anew. 2026’s word of the year is arise. Arise to age 40, arise to whatever calling I’m compelled to try, arise mentally and physically. Arise.
Rack & Stack
# of miles run – 321.1 (not bad considering I was injured Jan-early Mar)
# of average miles run – 6.21/week (post-recovery miles, too)
# of hours spent working out – 7 hrs, 48 mins/month (proud of this one!)
# of tries to complete a PhD – 1 (one and only 1!)
# of mental health appointments – 17 (some months were tough and required extra attention)
# of hours spent playing volleyball – 24 hrs, 35 mins (is this excessive?)
# of Team of the Quarter awards – 2 (that’s 50%!)
Final Thoughts
I make light of most situations, but 2025 was difficult. I’m incredibly blessed to be called Dr. However, it wasn’t an easy win. I was honored to be part of leading a winning team. Yet I struggled with my own feelings surrounding what I mistakenly thought was not good enough. I’ve learned some new tricks and I’ve tried to dismiss the outdated ones. All in all, twas a great year because I can say it is over and because a new one has arrived.
As have I. Arise.
_____________________
I ask you –
What is your word of the new year? Or resolution if you enjoy this?
(The post 2025 in Numbersfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
I saw a meme which said something to the extent of “if you put together all the receipts in your purse, you’ll have a book about why you’re broke”. As funny as this is, I made up my own: if you put together all the short runs, long runs, walks, and workouts, you’ll have a little book about why you’re in shape, feel better, are able to run after your children, can stand up without pain, and (fill in the blank).
Personally, I like my version better.
Do you think the programmers at Gummy Drop use AI to study patterns of play or how often a user swipes left versus right? Missed opportunity if they don’t.
Gummy Drop aka Gummies
Did you know there are dog behaviorists? It’s a thing. I saw one on a commercial whilst watching the Dog Show after the Thanksgiving Day Parade. At least, that’s what her title was. Maybe it was made up.
Speaking of AI and behaviorists because I know you’re in awe I somehow put these two random topics together – the news media stated police department policies are being implemented to prevent officers from using AI to write their reports, specifically in immigrant-related fields. It begs the question (from me anyway) why does this have to be stated? Oh I know. Because AI is artificial. Says so in the name. Tis not real. Tis fake. Well, not “fake” but definitely an interpretation of artificial. Basically, fake.
Several takeaways from this piece of news.
1. I understand the concept of work smarter, not harder. And I’d like to believe a well-meaning, overworked, underpaid officer(s) of the law justified the use of AI with the aforementioned attributes. However, how does one justify not knowing or understanding AI is an abstract medium which combines the entirety of the world’s thoughts with artificial interpretation? This means…it is fallable, it is inaccurate, it is just an interpretation subjected to human norms. Which means…it must be checked for accuracy. Period. It is not “fire and forget”. It is not “one and done”. In my opinion, it is more work to use chatGPT and similar programs because I must crosscheck it for meaning, much of which was not my intention.
2. The reliance on AI and the programs mentioned previously is widely concerning. Just me? Students have felt the negative effects of succumbing to AI-written papers. One does not achieve a phD using chatGPT. Trust me. All 6,000 pages (to include drafts, crap I had to remove, and sources) were from the corners of my mind, not a robotic rendition of what I thought I was typing. And if you think people cannot tell the difference between what you wrote and what AI wrote, you are mistaken. I see it a mile away – words not normally used in conversation, sentences much too perfect, similar words or phrases used excessively, and a general lack of positional stance, i.e., remaining too neutral. This is why I refuse to use it to write awards packages. It’s not me. Because it is not.
3. Let’s go back to immigration. Because I’m a scholar in this field and I believe it lends me integrity. What judge, lawyer, or human impacted by immigration wants to read a report entirely generated by AI? I don’t see any raised hands. We want the humanistic approach, the real officer who was on the ground, who encountered another human, child, or family. We want passion and beliefs. It does not matter the fallacy of an experience. It matters because people make decisions based on the entirety of it. AI cannot (at the time of this writing) imitate human experience, the very experience which made us human. Blows my mind.
4. I was not intending to include this but here we are. Working smarter as opposed to harder is misleading. Although I adore the catchy phrase, and am guilty of using it, I believe it encourages shortcuts never intended to become norms. Working hard is not a problem to be fixed. Dare I say we have gotten so far away from working hard that we now rely on something else to think for us. Haha tied it back in. Rather than thinking for ourselves or challenging our brains to come up with an accurate depiction of what we saw, lived, or shared, the reliance on artificial intelligence has made us dumb(er). So much for smarter.
And this concludes today’s very long-winded post. A notable takeaway: I wrote every word myself. From the very dark confines of my own mind. Aren’t you so glad you stuck around for it all? Also, I must have watched a lot of TV.
_____________________
I ask you –
Share you thoughts on AI.
(The post Quality Datafirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
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