True Stories

In my line of work, I spend a large part of time examining footwear. No, you can’t wear flipflops in the gym. This prompted the following thought: have any studies been done on what footwear crime victims are wearing? Because I see many people wear footwear they can barely walk in let alone run, so there needs to be a standard established. Personally, I won’t wear anything I can’t run in. Because there’s no shortage of kidnapping attempts on my life.

In a bizarre string of events, the above photos tell a story of someone (someones) with a twisted sense of humor. I’m loving it. First, there was a dead hog on the side of the road. At least a week went by. Then, suddenly, there appeared a balloon stating “Feel Better” tied to its bloated carcass. No thank you. At least another week passed before mowers came through and I don’t want to speculate on what happened to the dead hog or its cheery balloon but both disappeared. Fast forward another week later. Now, there’s a homemade and painted cross with the inscription “RIP PIG”. I have no idea whose brilliant idea this was; however, I’m very much invested and feel as if maybe I should contribute with flowers or a rosary or some other memento. Why is this not a thing?

Ugh. It’s that time of year again. You know what I think? Oh, do tell, Kel. GS cookies should be sold before Christmas, before Thanksgiving even. So when we’re (I) am struggling to figure out what to gift, I can choose a simple option, like cookies. Sure, I can spend hours making treats and packaging them in cute bags, etc. but it would be awesome if I could give the gift of Girl Scouts!

I both loathe and adore Girl Scout cookie season. Send help. My willpower is garbage.

Last minute update, as of Monday:

I swear I didn’t do this! But I wanted to!

_________________________

I ask you –

Are you aware of any footwear-related true crime stories?

Should I pay my respects to the hog?

Tell me your favorite GS cookie(s)!! Caramel deLites and Lemonades!

(The post True Stories first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2023 Running on Fumes

A Few (More) of My Favorite Things

A previous post by the same name just didn’t encompass everything I had hoped to share so I decided to do another. Because that’s what I do.

The semicolon ring above was a Christmas gift from my spouse. I stopped wearing the one before it after it became completely bent out of shape due to my inherent ability to run into walls, get my hands stuck in weird places, and overall wear and tear. But mostly wear and tear.

The semicolon is significant because it symbolizes the continuation of a story, sentence, or thought. Many people have it tattooed as a reminder of suicide awareness which is also the reason I wear it. Some may know my dad died by suicide when I was a child so this is a reminder of a life gone too soon. I’m also very aware of Veteran suicide rates; thankfully I do not know anyone personally, but I do have friends who have either struggled or know others who succumbed to their struggles.

My sister gifted me the journal above. It has beautifully organized pages and helps me get my thoughts in order. A huge plus, in my book. No pun intended. Her faith journey is so intentional – I’m trying to follow her lead.

Lastly, no bake cookies. I’m addicted. In the past 3 weeks, I’ve made no less than 4 batches of these cookies. They’re so easy and that’s the problem! Friends have even requested them – for money. I was joking when I said $5/batch. But maybe I shouldn’t have been.

Why do you run, Kel? So I can eat cookies!

__________________

I ask you –

Do you have a symbolic piece of jewelry?

Are you a self-proclaimed cookie addict, too?

If you or anyone you know have thoughts of suicide or are struggling with mental health, please reach out to a trusted friend, coworker, significant other…anyone. There are also many organizations dedicated to helping you. You may also dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Help is always available.

(The post A Few (More) of My Favorite Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2023 Running on Fumes

A Few of My Favorite Things

Mini’s family in Tennessee uttered the words “…she’s funny sometimes” in reference to my blog so basically I’m a celebrity now. bowing gracefully

The holidays certainly brought about travel woes for a huge part of the population. Mini did not escape unscathed either. As flights were delayed, then cancelled, the decision was made to drive instead. So, after another short delay, mini was on her way to a Tennessean Christmas, complete with snow!

In the meantime, I enjoyed a few of my own favorite things. Like, a gift card to Common Grounds, the base coffee shop, courtesy of my twin. As they no longer accept cash, gift cards are the currency of choice.

Hand created, in fact!

Also, this wonderful cup! Tis true.

Constant disclaimer

As I don’t drink milk, finding a suitable replacement has proven to be very difficult. I’m confident I get enough protein and vitamins from other sources, but milk is such a wonderful recovery option post-run/post-workout. Lucky for me, I discovered fa!rlife. I love each flavor, but chocolate is definitely my favorite.

I’m positive I could have found so many other favorite things to share here, but I probably shouldn’t overdo it. Not yet anyway.

____________________

I ask you –

Did you receive any gift cards for the holidays?

Do you have a constant disclaimer? Do tell!

Tell me about your favorite things!

(The post A Few of My Favorite Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2023 Running on Fumes

Christmas Catch Up

Some Christmas magic happening in N Texas!

This mini of mine is so joyous. Her love of Christmas lights, fashion, and those lovely glasses of hers just make me smile. The world needs more mini!

You know what else it needs? More tea! I found this orange tea – so amazing! Granted, it’s not coffee. Because it’s tea! But it gets me through a long night of writing and researching.

Christmas candy is a tradition in my household and our extended family. Oreo truffles, Dr. Pepper truffles, and rum balls are my favorites. Others like coconut balls and peanut butter balls. Also good but not my favorite. It’s almost cathartic to roll the mixture into a small shape then carefully dip each one into melted chocolate. I like making extra to freeze so I can enjoy them all year long. Although they don’t usually last that long. To gift or to eat by myself – that’s a different story!

Whilest waiting for mini to finish dance practice the other night, I went to the local florist to peruse. Ta-da! I’ve become a collector of Cat-decorated items. For obvious reasons but also a bit of a private story. Anyway, anything related to Cat is the equivalent of a dad joke to me. My forever mom joke, if you will. Mini doesn’t think it’s as funny as me but I persevere! Hence, this pen is perfection!

Even the title of this post is symbolic. I bet you didn’t “catch” it.

______________________________

I ask you –

Do you drink tea?

Do you have any great mom or dad jokes?!

Tell me of a tradition in your life!

(The post Christmas Catch Up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

Down to the Wire

Only in Texas in December has it been so dry we still have leaves on the trees. But they finally changed colors in preparation for a good windstorm to blow them away. Minus the tornado/severe storm watch mid-month. Someone else said hang on to your stockings.

In related news, or maybe not, we didn’t have internet for about 24 hrs so my paper writing was a little delayed. The final one of the semester. Good thing I took off a half day just to write. And attend school Christmas parties. And attend Christmas dance performances. Then…Rest. Yeah right. I chugged some coffee and went back to work – figuratively.

The training bases within the Air Force practice (celebrate?) a time of year titled Exodus. As a Biblical term, it means exactly what it sounds like…the great Exodus of many technical training students during the holidays. Widely celebrated by most activities on base, Exodus is a time of liberal leave and a general relaxation as there are not as many people to serve. Lucky for my crew it means a prolonged period of clean up and clean out! In fact, while our activity is shut due to low volume, I’m ramping up the schedule and completing all types of staff training there’s never enough time for. It’s gonna be fun! By the time everyone returns, the staff will be happy to be back to regular work.

My hope is to have a post-Christmas and pre-New Year celebration with the staff. Hence, all the food!

Truffle Time!

2022 is down to the wire. For many, it’s probably cause for celebration. Not sure exactly how I feel about it yet but time doesn’t standstill for me. Back to the drawing board.

_________________

I ask you –

Has your weather been average or just plain wild?

Do you experience a lull in business or work during the holidays?

Tell me something you have going on in the lead up to 2023! Reading books!

(The post Down to the Wire first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

I Have No Catchy Title

Thankfully, I don’t do a lot of driving anymore but occasionally I see funny things when I’m out and about. Like a car with the license plate MY TOY. It was a Hyundai. To each his own.

My sister is my nail girl.

Costco is selling caskets now. For the low low price of about $700, you can purchase your very own bulk-discounted sleeping vessel. Why not. P.S. I tried to use a stock photo of a casket as my post image but there was nothing funny about any of them so I decided against it lest my loyal followers think something terrible happened to me.

For the church Christmas skit, my sister and I were recorded for our parts. Riot. We had too much fun laughing. However, we each got it on the first try! I know, it’s hard to imagine.

One run last week. That’s all I had (made) time for. Truth be told, I was super sore after it, too. Which reminds me to input a training plan for the next 4 weeks until class starts again. But I did do some form of intentional exercise each day – yoga, pilates, taking a walk…something was done!

Finally hit week 8 of the course from hell, aka Advanced Finance and Budgeting. This class was rough. But you don’t want to hear anymore complaining, I’m sure. Just wait. I’m taking two 8-week courses simultaneously in the Spring. Not sure what I was thinking. Sorry in advance.

As usual, thank you for coming to my ramblings. I’ll be back next week with more of the same.

__________________

I ask you –

Do you own anything you consider your “toy”?

Would you purchase a Costco casket? Yes. A bargain is a bargain!

On a scale of 1 to send help, how are your holidays going so far?

(The post I Have No Catchy Title first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

Bamboozled

What’s another word for bamboozled? Let me tell you a little story –

There once was a little girl who began to come home with self-reported blurry vision and headaches. Her mother was very worried and made an eye appointment with a trusted optometrist. The closest appointment wasn’t for a few weeks so the girl’s mother called several times to ask for cancellations and open slots. Lo and behold, an appointment opened and the girl was able to be seen about 10 days before the originally scheduled appointment.

The little girl was so happy. She behaved extremely well during the exam and dilation process. But when the doctor arrived in the room, he explained there was nothing wrong with the girl’s eyesight.

But there is a behind the scenes story not many are privy to. You see, the girl’s entire family struggled with vision issues. Nearly all wore glasses or some sort of eye correction. So when the girl complained of eye problems, it came as no surprise.

Further, the girl’s eyesight seemed to change nearly daily. Sometimes she requested to sit closer to the television because she just couldn’t see. Other times she seemed fine and would sit further back. The lack of consistency in her vision was puzzling. One minute could see a sign in the distance, the next not so much. Her mother began to wonder.

When the doctor said he couldn’t find a reason for the girl’s inability to see, the mother accepted it as truthful. After all, the girl had been examined with multiple instruments, including dilation and had taken special pictures to see the entire eyeball. Fascinating really. The only thing the doctor could come up with is perhaps the girl needed a slight prescription for readers. The girl was overjoyed at this news.

Later that evening, the girl went to pick out her new pair of glasses. As she gleefully examined things through the lenses of her beautiful blue light glasses (note: blue light glasses, not readers, not a pair of glasses with any Rx tied to them), she proudly explained to anyone who would listen how her new glasses helped her see. Suddenly she was running again (which she had stopped doing for fear of falling). She showed off the glasses to strangers and asked photos be sent to all her relatives sharing her blue spectacles.

During homework that same night, the young girl read every word easier than ever. Seems blue light glasses solved her every concern, as well as knowing her many friends who also have glasses would welcome her with open arms into their exclusive club. Her teacher would be so excited for her. Her family’s admiration would live on endlessly.

The placebo effect is real. If you don’t believe me, just ask my mini. She’s an expert!

________________________

I ask you –

Did you ever bamboozle your parents?

Do you wear spectacles?

Tell me your thoughts on the placebo effect!

(The post Bamboozled first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

Some Holiday Things

The holidays are laden with good food! My sister and I took a chance on making our own homemade cranberry sauce because Aunt Mary Catherine’s is a tradition. We went heavy on the orange but I thought it was splendid!

We even did some Black Friday shopping. It wasn’t bad at all. I thought surely there would be millions of people out, cue the angry mobs – alas, not so much. Not even at Walmart! Gasp.

ElectriCritters

Of course I didn’t get anything on the Christmas list but whatever. I have a few more weekends of procrastination. We did take mini to the “spa”. Somehow she conned her way into the full princess treatment complete with snacks. This girl. Then she couldn’t be peeled off the walls the remainder of the afternoon.

Who knew a mani/pedi was the ticket to a girl’s heart? Me. I did.

________________________________________

I ask you –

What is your signature holiday dish?

Do you shop on black Friday? Cyber Monday?

Tell me about your favorite Christmas light display!

(The post Some Holiday Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

Halloween Spirit

What’s scarier than Advanced Public Finance and Budgeting? Except the fact I don’t recall taking basic finance and budgeting.

As I’m not really a spooky Halloween spirit type of gal, I could take it or leave it. But any chance of mini dressing up and she’s all for it. Somehow October kind of got away from me – now we’re less than a week away from Halloween. All I’ve done is purchase a costume and candy. But that’s pretty much the only requirement, right?

Apparently kids love these

If you ever see me in a haunted house, just know I’ve been kidnapped; please call the authorities to rescue me. Seriously.

____________________

I ask you –

Do you enjoy Halloween?

Thoughts on haunted houses?

Porch light on or off?! Off. We go to a different neighborhood. No naked neighbors for me!

(The post Halloween Spirit first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes

My Face When…

this is my face when…

When you’ve been writing for 4 hours and only have 2 pages. I need 6 pgs minimum.

When a doctoral candidate writes (paraphrased) “people who are emotionally weaker have a tendency to be depressed”. Wow. This statement is fantastically false and hurtful. Idiot.

When one of the assigned readings is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (not really, one of the authors is named Hyde so that’s what I call this book) and it mentions the U.S.S.R. – which I should be careful in even typing because we know how that turned out for me last time. It struck me as weird because it’s a very outdated title. Turns out it was written in 1959. Now it all makes sense.

When I drop off mini at school and can’t find my ID to access work. My sweet coworker (Ms. P, remember) happily informs me it’s at my computer. At work. Which I can’t get to without said ID. In nearly 10 years, I have never left my ID in any place other than intended. Thankfully I had other methods to get to work. But still. Now I have to start over on my record.

When mini wants to discuss the merits and nuances of “running sticks”. Tampons. That’s what we’re talking about here. She’s 6 so I give her an age appropriate explanation. Just as I thought we were done – aka I had sufficiently navigated these uncharted waters – she asks…so where do they go? My answer: inside your body. As a look of horror and disgust cross her little face, she loudly says “YOU EAT THEM?!” And this is where I said we’re going to be late for school, let’s go.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over questioning every life choice ever made and frantically searching for that damn parenting manual. Again. As I always do.

___________________________

I ask you –

Do you have a winning streak on never forgetting your ID or some other form of work access card, etc?

What conversation was the hardest with your child(ren)?

Send help. I don’t know what I’m doing over here.

(The post My Face When… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2022 Running on Fumes