Saving the Post Office / Why not?

…one child at a time. Occasionally, ideas for posts arrive in the most unexpected ways. Hahah posts, get it, get it. Well, you’re about to!

First, read this article. This is how it started: I found the below on Instagram and sent it to the one person in my life whom I knew 1000% wouldn’t report me to the authorities (or NSA) for thinking this concept is hilarious.

Credit: @sammichespsychmeds via Instagram

In true best friend fashion, Jason encouraged my wonky sense of humor by recalling where sending your child via postal service was actually a real thing. Of course it was!

Relatedly, I shipped a hoodie from TX to TN and it cost $15 which is only about $10 more than the hoodie cost. Hello, post office people. It really is a barrier to shipping anything with costs like that, but I continue to support them. Alas, I would never attempt to ship my precious mini anywhere; however, with the rising cost of airplane tickets I may consider it more than usual. Usually I never consider it.

Now I just want to make stork jokes. Stop it Kel. Too many times I’ve shared here my love for mailing cards, letters, etc. It’s my thing! Even on the radio one morning, the hosts were debating reasons why you shouldn’t mail thank you cards. They reasoned it’s an outdated medium and much easier to send a text or a video to say thank you. I don’t know about you, but I actually still have some family members without texting/videoing capabilities. She’s 93, I believe she can make her own rules. Would it be easier to send her videos? Absolutely! But do I get angry, unhappy, or put out by stamping a letter? No. I imagine the joy she feels from receiving a card is the same joy I receive when opening a card. Channel that joy and send someone a card today!

Standby for the cost of mailing a 55 lb package. It’s only coincidence that’s how much mini weighs.

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I ask you –

On a scale of always to never, how often do you use the postal service?

Did you know there was a time children were mailed?

Share your best ‘I wish I could’ve mailed someone’ story!

Things: Likes/Don’t Likes

-the food edition

Corn. I like corn. Especially the sweet, buttery, salty corn I remember growing in my parent’s garden. But not corn on the cob. I’m that girl who cuts it off the cob. I don’t know why.

Anyone else eat pea salad? Only my mother and sister. And me! Not mini. She’ll eat plain sweet peas, but once you add additional ingredients, she abandons ship. More for me! I like to experiment with pea salad. In the photo below, I subbed pico for the traditional onion only. It was superb, in my opinion. And since I’m the only one eating it, here we are.

Keto is as restrictive as you make it. So when I’m on that proverbial wagon, I don’t eat much fruit. But I love fruit!! This is why…training season can be so much fun. I eat all the fruit I want. Besides kiwi, there’s not a fruit I don’t like. Some I don’t necessarily love – that’s ok, too. Peaches, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, bring it! In fact, I recently bought so many peaches I had to slice and freeze them because they would have rotted before I ate them all. Since I’m on a smoothie kick, I thought it was a great idea aka cost effective to buy several pounds worth of peaches. In my defense, several pounds of peaches really isn’t that many whole peaches. And I saved money. Take that.

Recently I tried cheese curds. Ugh. The word “curds” grosses me out. Which is probably why I’d never tried them. I remember living in Pensacola with my Navy friends and some would order cheese curds at Buffalo Wild Wings. They’d rave about how great they were; I would refuse to try them.

Bricktown Tap House

Fast forward a lot of years later and they were on the menu at a local restaurant near me. HOLY CRAP! Why didn’t I try these before?! They were amazing! It was like cheese wrapped in funnel cake batter. Heavenly! I’m a cheese curd convert.

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I ask you –

What’s a family food you grew up with? Was it yay or nay?

How much fruit do you eat daily?

Name fruit you do/don’t like. I forgot about pomegranates. I don’t like those at all.

Weirdo and Other Words I’m Proud to be Called

I’m what some may consider a clockaholic. News to me. Wish I could quantify the facial expressions of people around me when I stated I like to remove the batteries from the clocks and set the time permanently to a meaningful number in my life, like my Dad’s birthday.

It’s not a struggle (yet) but it definitely doesn’t come easy – properly fueling before, during, and after training. I know I have to eat to be strong in order to accomplish my goals. Mainly the 2:10 goal. It would “just” be an 8 minute PR, but 8 minutes over the course of 13 miles does not leave a lot of room for error. But pre-run fuel is not my happy place. As I type this, I’m eating toast. Solid, simple choice. But I’m laughing (ruefully) because I ran nearly 5 miles recently on nothing but a scoop of peach jelly. You’re an idiot, Kel. That’s not proper fuel! I’m trying to do better.

The following is a sentence I never imagined I’d say. Certainly not at work. “Why are there ants in the toilet?” And apparently the high bun I wear when a) I workout, b) I don’t feel like washing my hair, and c) I’m trying to get sh*t done – so basically all the time – is what mini refers to as “Mama’s pineapple hair”.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

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I ask you –

Have you ever used a weird name to describe yourself?

What’s your favorite weird phrase?

Give me your fuel suggestions!

For Real?

Like… really? Title in progress.

I love blogging. Really, I do. And I love reading other blogs. Yeppers! But the ones who spend 6 paragraphs detailing the “best holiday desserts” and have the outright gall – that’s French for cajones – to include a recipe for Poached Pears is out of their mind. WHO eats poached pears? Nevermind…what is a poached pear? And for the holidays? No!

Fall is finally upon us. Admittedly I cried when I woke up the first day, remembered it was a Wednesday, and realized I don’t run on Wednesdays. Not all Wednesdays, just currently. I should have changed my training schedule, but I had a doctor’s appointment that day. At least it seems the 50s are here to stay through the overnight hours.

Speaking of doctors, the nurse quietly asked me if I was still breastfeeding. Mind you, we’d already discussed I had a 5 yr old. Way to go! – to the women still nursing five years later. However, I’m not one of them. Are you for real? – to the timid nurse at the VA. Glad she took my blood pressure before the interrogation.

My how time flies when you’re getting old and don’t remember when you graduated.

The last time I saw this stage was 2011 when I graduated from Wayland Baptist University with a Master’s degree. P.S. my phone changed “graduated” to some weird combination of those letters that made no sense and I considered leaving it like that.

For real? Yes, it sounds about right.

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I ask you –

Is the phrase ‘for real’ too casual for professional conversation?

How often a day do you use this phrase?

Tell me your best ARE YOU FOR REAL? story!

Humor Knows No Bounds + Tetris Master?

The adventures in Bonnywood Manor are some of my favorites to read. Brian’s humor is the best!

In keeping with more office-themed things, here’s a few nuggets: my title should be changed to calendar girl. But not the sexy, mildly inappropriate calendar girl you may have immediately been considering. More like I play Tetris with calendars and am on standby for changes at a moment’s notice. In fact, a wonderful co-worker called me with these words – “Let’s play a game!” – which really wasn’t a fun game at all because it involved moving around days’ worth of events to accommodate some last minute silliness. Good thing I love her.

She said “Can I take my own picture?”

Also, as the reigning queen of dad jokes, it’s my sworn duty to entertain strangers with punny, simple jokes. To my own delight, of course. I feel like our security team draws straws on who has to deal with me when my car rounds the bend. I’m on the “do not engage” list. Occasionally they laugh with me (at me?) and I congratulate myself on a job well done. I’ll be here all week, folks!

Hallelujah for the return of football

Lastly, soon they’ll be requiring IQ tests in my workplace. Hahah, I wish. Short of missing a few crayons, inability to decipher which floor we’re on, and following basic computer instructions, I think it’s going well! It’s just a three ring circus without a grandmaster.

Clap, clap. Ohhhhhhh, cabana boyyyyy!!!

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I ask you –

Want to join my circus?

Are you the problem child of your organization? Be honest!!

Please check out fellow blogger, Brian Lageose. He’s hilarious!

What Matters Most / Prioritizing

Making Priorities

Faith/Family

Forgiveness. Redemption. Grace. Kindness. Among many others, these are words that mean much to me. Being responsible for a family unit is quite a burden to bear which is why I believe the next few points are incredibly important. Responsibility weighs heavily on the shoulders of those who choose to accept the load. (and sometimes there’s no choice)

It has been said that ‘the two greatest days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why’. God created you with a purpose in mind (2 Corinthians 5:5). Indeed there are big plans for me.

Sleep

My body has an internal alarm clock prompting me to go to bed at 8:30pm. Every. Single. Night. Like my dad, I’ve always been a morning person. It has served me well! 9 hours is my optimal, pre-programmed amount of sleep necessary for a fully functioning day. I’m a light sleeper and have little trouble falling asleep, but find difficulty in staying asleep.

This may sound like I put way too much priority on knowing about my own sleep patterns. However, recognizing the importance of sleep and how it affects your body is something I think many take for granted. Sleep – or lack thereof – is attributed to weight, outlook on life, stress, and disease. When we sleep, our bodies recuperate from innumerable daily encounters with germs, people, and events, as well as prepare us for days ahead. Personally I think consistent sleep schedules are one of the most important ways to set up children for success.

Running

As I’ve probably mentioned before, streaking is such a confidence booster. Even when it’s only 1 mile a day, the proof is tangible. Typically I notice a difference 2 weeks into it – I’m lighter on my feet, stamina is high, and the urge to keep running is overwhelming. Although I despise treadmill running, the routine (aka priority) of running at lunch (aka runch) is much needed. My lunch hour at work is nearly sacred. Soon enough, you can find me back on the roads near the office happily making the rounds.

Badminton!

It’s important mini sees me doing what I love. Running helps in many ways: decreases anxiety, increases the feel-good hormones, and recharges my people’ing batteries. We all need an outlet, if you will. Mine is found inside a pair of running shoes.

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I ask you –

How many hours of sleep do you average nightly?

What is your outlet?

Share a priority I may have missed here!

Day(s) in Photos, pt 29

Finally found a huge pretzel! It’s not pretzel bites, but it will do for the time being.

When I have time on my hands, I attempt to decorate them.

Beer shoes?!? Brooks outdid themselves this time. I feel like these shoes speak volumes to runner’s priorities.

Although I love the below list of words, I feel as if it’s missing one: whackadoo!

Credit: @hardcorecomedy2.0 via Instagram

Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for – ta da!!! 2 years of Gummies netted me a whole hour of unlimited line boosts. I was super excited by this prize until I realized it was not the same as a whole hour of unlimited lives. So in approximately 12 mins I was out of lives and had to wait 10+ mins to get another life, repeat, etc.

I really need to get help.

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I ask you –

On a scale of 1 to no longer being my friend, how much do you love huge pretzels?

What word is missing from the list?

Honest opinions only: is my Gummy addiction out of control?

An Open Letter

…to the pretzel shop in our rather dismal, dying mall.

Dear Pretzel Peoples, I really needed you to come through for me. Let me explain: my kindergartner just finished her first full week of school. Earlier in the week, this child (my child) who rarely asks for anything, asked – politely – if we could go to the mall this weekend to get pretzel bites. As any proud mom would do, I smiled and replied affirmative. The weekend came. After many other unexplainable events of which were not her fault, we arrived at said mall to purchase said pretzel bites. “The ones that are all buttery and delicious”, she said. Unbeknownst to us, your pretzel bite location was closed. To my shock, I read the posted sign detailing your legal and financial woes. As my young child stared in horror at the darkened heat lamps and noticeable lack of “buttery pretzel bite” smell, the realization began to sink in. There would be no pretzel bites for her today. And, according to the date in March 2021, there had not been any pretzel bites in quite some time. I hope you understand this: I get it. Times are hard, the economy is a rollercoaster, the list goes on. But I made a promise to a young lady who had her heart set on pretzel bites. Yes, the buttery, delicious ones. Of which you let me down. You, pretzel people, did not hold up your end of the bargain. Therefore, I had a sad, disappointed, mildly angry child to explain to, in an age-appropriate way, why there would be no pretzel bites today. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION! You should be ashamed of the second-best option I presented to her. Sure, cookies and smoothies and coffee are some of her favorite things. To be honest, they are some of my favorite things, as well. However, they were not pretzel bites! They were not what I promised. You should make this right. Sincerely, the mother of a pretzel bite-loving girl.

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I ask you –

Have you ever made a promise you couldn’t fulfill but which was completely out of your control?

Do you enjoy pretzel bites?

Please pass this on to anyone you may know whom owns a pretzel bite business. They need to know how important this business is to at least one young girl.

Childhood Favorites

“Hot Jello Water” – the process of drinking the jello before you ever put it in the refrigerator to solidify. To be fair, as kids we called it Hot Jello, but mini coined it Hot Jello Water so here we are. HJW was a childhood staple/treat whenever we were sick. I think mom found a way to get calories and sugar inside our little bodies. Fun fact: my little human doesn’t like jello. Really, I didn’t know this was possible. But she loves some hot jello water!

I don’t have a photo for this next item. Even if I did, the photo would do it no justice. My mom’s famous – only to me – Mexican Casserole. Think layers of corn tortillas, cheese, and a ground beef/green chili mixture. I realize the simplicity of these ingredients, but for some reason whenever I try to recreate this dish it just isn’t “right”. Whenever I hear the words Mexican casserole, this meal immediately comes to mind but no one makes it like mom does.

Mini doesn’t know it yet but this final food will become a staple at all sleepovers and girls’ nights we ever host. The most clever name my sister and I ever came up with was “Frozen Banana Things”. To hear my mom tell the story, her mother would make these when she (my mom) and her siblings were young. Basically, you stab a single, sliced banana piece with a toothpick, top with a marashino cherry, (one banana slice, one cherry per toothpick) and assemble banana-down on a rimmed baking sheet. Then, you pour lemon juice in the baking dish until the banana slices are almost covered. Freeze the entire baking sheet until bananas are frozen. To eat, break apart (if necessary) each frozen banana thing.

Missing: cherries

According to my childhood friends, they’re addictive; a perfect sweet, sour treat. I haven’t had them in years, but I still remember the joy of making and sharing these late at night. Soon enough, the pitter patter of little feet sneaking them from the freezer will be heard. But first, rest!

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I ask you –

What childhood dishes did you enjoy?

Is there another name for the Mexican casserole I mentioned? It’s similar to King Ranch Chicken Casserole.

Share ideas for ingredients that don’t seem to go together but work well! Lemon juice and bananas!