Humorous Stuff

Not one to ever pass up an opportunity to be silly – a few examples below. I’m lucky my leadership plays along with my shenanigans.

Yes, awards are meant to be displayed but they’re not possible without the work, encouragement, and credit to those around me. 2023 was a wild year and I couldn’t have done it without the strong team around me. Really. This is all theirs.

Finally, it’s both a blessing and a curse that Parts works in marketing. Everyone and everything is fodder for jokes. We play too much. Amazingly, some questions did arise on how and where to vote for me. Although I’m humbled and genuinely surprised at the support, fortunately government jobs don’t work like this. And I had zero intention to run for this “office”, if you will.

It would be a shame if I was unable to run with all this pent up energy I’ve been experiencing. The actual volleyball intramural season is gaining traction, but I’ve made the right decision to coach/assist other coaches vs. play. Sure, the time commitment is still the same but I decrease the chance of injury by about 95%. My feet will thank me later.

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I ask you –

Are you a humorous person?

Have you ever coached a sport?

Share your best example of what not to do!

(The post Humorous Stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

But That’s Where I’m At

Vision Board Event – where dozens of people go crazy with glue, magazines, and colored paper. McK, Parts, and I are making strides toward doing more creative-type projects and spending time together outside of the workplace. Not too bad to start 2024.

Now, the random: Unbeknownst to me there is specific terminology within the academia field that eludes to transitional terms. For example, whilst completing the coursework associated with a doctorate, the student is called a doctoral student. Apt. However, once the student has completed the required coursework and has begun the dissertation process, the student is now a doctoral candidate. Fancy. Also, there is a special kind of nonsense for those of us who simply can’t live without education called a Postdoc. Just as it’s spelled, it’s what a ridiculous person would do after they obtain a doctoral degree. No thank you.

Also unknown to me is the option of applying for grants and funding to further the research portion of my degree. A quick search resulted in a few Veteran-related PhD grants, as well as several scholarships. No harm in completing the applications.

Finally, no matter what others (…me) might say about the loneliness of this process, I’ve made some incredible connections, including forming relationships with others who have obtained their PhD and gone on to become professors and/or researchers. At this time, I’ve been conversing with a woman who wrote her dissertation on a subject I’m extremely interested in and am considering how to mold it into my own dissertation. She’s been kind and generous with her time, something I value greatly. More to come.

Finally, I never thought I would see the day that a few 8-10 pg assignments seemed laughable. Remind me in a few weeks how excited I always am to start writing again.

__________________

I ask you –

Any creativity-centered goals for this year?

Have you ever applied for a grant?

Tell me an absolutely ridiculous page length!

(The post But That’s Where I’m At first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year. Welcome to 2024. That’s the post. Really, that’s all I’ve got to say. I’m writing this at nearly 7pm the night before I publish a new post and I’ve just realized I don’t have a post ready. There’s many “in progress”, but none ready for full send. And that’s ok.

So, I hope you all have a wonderful Monday. I will spend mine deep cleaning mini’s closet whilst she’s away on another Tennessean vacation, calculating my 2023 run mileage (because that’s one of those in progress posts), and updating all the calendars (I have one for nearly every facet of my life).

Thank you for following me here at Running on Fumes!

Life Requires Skills

Critical thinking skills – the ones that seem to be underutilized.

Painting = lots of thinking

Perhaps I’ve mentioned it before: my issue with people who leave their car door open when they pump gas. Not only is it lazy, it’s incredibly dangerous because seconds save lives. If you don’t have an extra second to close your car door, then you’ve effectively given someone who may want to harm you or steal your vehicle the extra second they need to do so. And this isn’t one of those “living my life scared” things. It’s simply a critical thinking opportunity.

Another example is when people are cooking. The ones who leave the cabinets wide open under the premise they might need back in the cabinet are the ones who smash their heads against the cabinet and potentially have a catastrophic kitchen accident. It’s lazy and dangerous.

My final example of critical thinking is also cooking related. Once something is cooked, it needs a place to go, like a plate or serving vessel. Usually. If you haven’t the forethought of what to do with the cooked item(s), then you’re wasting your own time, being lazy, and causing unnecessary chaos. This is why it’s important to be prepared. At least have a plan!

Lastly, a lovely woman heard me speak from the stage and approached me afterwards regarding not what I was speaking on but my manner of speaking. She asked if I’d always known I was gifted in public speaking. I was flattered but it had never occurred to me to analyze how long I’ve been comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. Since I was a child. She also mentioned the program Stories from the Stage, a show she watches regularly and admires. As she encouraged me to share my own story with the world, I began to entertain the idea. Maybe one day.

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I ask you –

How prepared are you when cooking?

Have you heard of the show Stories from the Stage?

Rate your critical thinking skills! A 10, definitely.

(The post Life Requires Skills first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Unearthly Expectations

As expected, my foots need expert, aka surgical, attention. You know – for all that technology has accomplished, how come there’s only a few options for feet? I did all the others. The surgeon was quite incredulous when I requested to have surgery on both feet simultaneously. But I persevered! Eventually, he came around to my way of thinking but it took some convincing. First, he says it’s dangerous when you can’t walk under your own power. Then, he says the pain may be too much. His final attempt at dissuading me was my mental health. Something about suffering from depression when unable to run.

I counteracted his every argument by saying I will sit at home and be a good patient; I have a high pain tolerance; and it makes more sense to have both feet done to allow me to complete my coursework at one time.

Then, when I visited my muse, her advice wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear but valuable nonetheless. She said, “Kel, you’re still Wonder Woman, but it’s an unearthly expectation to do all the things just because you can.” Granted, her words stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider my decision. For a time. It’s difficult considering all the unknown variables, including being unable to play in the intramural volleyball league as originally planned. Now, I’ll just coach!

My wingwoman and I

So, all this to say my mind is pretty much made up. I may come to regret it but both feet is the way to go. Despite the circumstances and outliers, I know I can persevere. And I will.

Yet every time you make it through something that doesn’t kill you or land you in jail, there’s this overwhelming feeling of excitement and gratitude. I live for it.

___________________

I ask you –

Any big decisions on the horizon?

Could this be the dumbest decision I’ve made? It very well could be.

Tell me about your superpowers!

(The post Unearthly Expectations first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Doctoral Dumpster Diving, pt 1

Just when I get things figured out – BOOM! Another dumpster fire of doctoral proportions. Yes, I knew this wouldn’t be easy but I didn’t expect it to be so confusing either.

Allow me to elaborate:

Professor: Write this paper using my special outline with such specific instructions that you can’t deviate. 20 pages.

Me: Stressed. Writing. Done.

Professor: Now write this other paper using my super generic outline without context. 30 pages.

Me: But you want an outline? Of 30 pages? Copy. Paste. Done.

Professor: NOT LIKE THAT!

In other related news – the first part of this degree process was conferred. Whoohoo!

Allow me to bask in the accomplishment for a second. Ok, it’s over. I need to write more.

Intention: This will most definitely be a series of posts so I’ve named it thusly. Standby.

____________________

I ask you –

Have you ever been dumpster diving? Not purposefully.

Are you the creator of mixed messages?

Tell me something you’ve done lately that you’re proud of!

(The post Doctoral Dumpster Diving, pt 1 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Violence is not the Answer

Recently mini had to make the very difficult decision to continue dance or try something new, namely jiujitsu. If you’ll recall, her 4-yr plan (her words, not mine) has been ballet, tap/jazz, jiujitsu, then back to dance. In an effort to ensure she wasn’t getting into something she wasn’t prepared for, we signed her up for a 1 wk trial to see how she likes jiujitsu.

Night 1:

Instructor: Why do you want to do this?

Mini: Because I’m violent.

For all that’s holy, what in the world possessed her to say that. FFS. Good grief.

However, she stepped up to the challenge and proceeded to exceed expectations, considering she was sparring (I don’t know the terminology, I’m more out of my element than the dance scene) with boys yet she held nothing back. My girl. At the end of the night, she proudly proclaimed that yes, she did want to embark on a year-long journey with the jiujitsu crew. I shouldn’t be surprised because, for months, she’s been saying she wants to pound someone which has prompted many conversations concerning how we don’t pound people and that jiujitsu is not karate.

the faces of violence

Mini’s dad offered an interesting perspective. He said this would help her with her emotions. Personally, I see no cause for concern as she displays her emotions in a very adult-like way; she simply desires to pound things and I’m here for it. Same, child. Same. If that means learning effective ways to defend herself, then go for it.

And then she can sashay her little butt right on.

________________________

I ask you –

Are you self-described as violent?

What life lessons will jiujitsu provide mini?

Tell me what you do to prevent violent tendencies! Run. Run a lot.

(The post Violence is not the Answer first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Update, wk 2

Mini’s Californian vacation has closed out its second week with the following results:

She volunteered at the Rock n Roll San Diego Marathon and Half Marathon which required her to be happy at a very early hour and encourage all the participants to stay hydrated. Later she stated it was awesome!

Spare Parts had a fabulous idea to propagate roses using only a random TikTok video for reference. It included cutting rose stems, shoving them into a potato, and planting the whole mess. Her parting words were “…now we plant them and hope we don’t grow potatoes!” We both had a good laugh.

Parts bought me this nifty egg-boiling contraption called … Nifty Egg-Boiling Contraption. I made that up. It actually works!!!! It’s made of something smart that tells me when the eggs are adequately hard-boiled, or not. There’s no in between. Although it probably serves a better purpose for weirdos that want eggs basically raw (ahem, McK), I’m still using it because it’s fun.

Finally, Kelly Crocker was enticed to make cookies. I haven’t had raw sugar and flour in so long I didn’t even recognize the taste! Alas, one miniscule taste was all I had. Dare I say removing sugar, flour, and mostly all carb-y things from my diet has made a world of difference. Yes, it’s difficult to say no but I know myself well enough to know that if I indulge once then it’s a long fall to the ground and an even longer amount of time to get back up. I choose to live vicariously through others.

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I ask you –

Have you ever volunteer at a large event?

When was the last time you baked?

On a scale of 1 to that’s-never-going-to-work, do you think the roses will actually grow?

(The post Summer Update, wk 2 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

People. Not Programs.

Sometimes we need a reminder that many (most) of us are surrounded by people and the importance of being a leader is one not to be taken lightly. As it is appraisal season in the fairytale land of federal government employment, it’s time for me to administer them. While my own was a pleasant experience and nearly always has been, predecessors have royally convoluted the process and make it seem like a dirty word. It can be disheartening to build trust and camaraderie when employees are fearful, distrustful, and generally blah (which is definitely a scientific word). Often I find myself correcting others when I’m referred to as a manager. That’s not me. I strive to be a leader of people and a manager of programs. People are our mission; programs are our resource.

All this being said – work has posed some challenges lately. Seems this course on human resources and the legalities surrounding it have taken a toll on my decision-making skills. Not necessarily in a bad way; just that I’ve repeatedly questioned whether or not I’m doing the right thing. Turns out I think I have. But still.

So far, these are my (and by “my” I mean I didn’t do much…the team did) shining moments: hosted a staff meeting that included a rousing game of volleyball of which I am (ongoing) healing from; established 24/7 access to a gym that did not previously have this amenity, and completed a 3 week streak of consistent call-ins yet managed to recover. I can’t understand why my award-writing skills aren’t cutting it. Just another example of how supervising people and managing programs can be rewarding in itself.

As for the volleyball part of this post, we’ve decided to develop a team complete with custom shirts, wildly inappropriate shorts, and substantially-lacking coach mentorship. At this point in the proverbial game, we have about 11 months to start practicing. Nothing can stand in our way!

Until I receive the phone call asking if someone can bring in their inflatable gymnastics mat. Do what?

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I ask you –

Do you supervise anyone in your workplace?

Have you ever played volleyball?

Tell me your thoughts on leadership versus management.

(The post People. Not Programs. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Merchandise Pages!

Options!

Coffee Mugs – because YES!

Shirts – t-shirts, hoodies, and tanks (adult + youth sizes)

Tote Bags

Written long ago: Good morning everyone! I finally have the merch campaign live. Obviously this is a special post for a variety of reasons. One being I pulled the trigger and set up a merchandise page, period. Truth be told, my sister was a huge (read: main) part in getting this done because I would’ve drug my feet even longer.

Click on the links above (Coffee Mugs, Shirts, and Tote Bags) to check out the pages. For now, I have limited options but eventually I will be adding stickers, etc. Let me know if there’s something specific you’d like to see! I’m not trying to retire on merchandise sales (big laugh here)…just looking to spread the word about what I’m accomplishing and, one day, when I open my shoe store/coffee shop/wine bar/library I’ll be ahead of the game! And then I’ll retire.

Please note: I chose to use a third party for the time being so you don’t have to wait forever for me to ship things and so I don’t have access to your personal or financial information. I fully realize many of you don’t know me outside of posting here; trust me, that’s a win!

Thank you! -Running on Fumes