Did we make it?

I considered not even prepping this post in case the Eclipse of 2024 turned into Apocalypse 2024. Alas, I like to be prepared. Just in case, you know.

But if I didn’t write this post, you wouldn’t be entertained with the most ridiculous photos of my whackadooness. Out of everyone enjoying the eclipse, I think I had the most fun. And definitely got the most compliments for my headwear!

I also have an 8 yr old now. When did this happen? Now, she asks hard questions and is a mini gremlin upon wakeup. Not unlike age 7. I just want her hands to always stay this small.

Alas, the volleyball season has come to an end (for our team anyway). The official record is 4-4, which isn’t bad in my book. Sure, we beat ourselves up several times and missed a few easy volleys but, personally, I made it out alive so that’s a win! One teammate wasn’t so fortunate; he suffered an ankle fracture early season. If all I had was bruises of varying degrees and a heavy reliance on ibuprofen and heating pads – meh.

Definitely worth it. But maybe next time I’ll just coach.

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I ask you –

Did you check out the eclipse? Better question, who didn’t?

What do you think of my hat-making skills?!

Tell me how old you’ll be at the next eclipse! Just add 20.

(The post Did we make it? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

And so it begins –

I’ll probably eeeek my way into the 25% category by end of May but it will be hard fought. Every year, I have goals to run through the summer sans heat illness and last year I held on to those goals. Let’s see how it turns out this summer. 9% doesn’t look like much, especially because in my reality it’s maybe 2%. So here we go!

This is what a proper day off looks like! I took leave on Good Friday but somehow ended up teleworking with numerous staffing phone calls and 3 teams meetings. Not exactly the day off I had been hoping for, so I requested a re-do. Minus the purchase of cake and cupcakes prior to birthday party weekend…Nailed it.

Finally, my mini’s birthday came back around. To hear her tell it, it “took 100 years”. Oh, the drama. She celebrated with her friends, then we celebrated her. Parts nailed it with the axolotl decorations, shirt, and everything in between. And I was so impressed with mini’s friends (and parents) who are fabulous gift givers. Maybe it’s easy for some to know what to give a young girl but I struggle so kudos to them.

And now…cake!

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I ask you –

Are you getting acclimated to the heat?

What is your preferred day off like?

Favorite type of cake – GO! Lemon blueberry.

(The post And so it begins – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(More) Photos with Minimal Explanations

Yes. I bought it. Honestly, not their best work. The pieces of cake are delicious but the ice cream is plain vanilla. Not a huge fan.

I think about this sandwich more than I should. But it’s keto so not a big concern. It’s also amazing with just scrambled eggs, bacon, and avocado. Trust me.

Jada, Gia, Luli, me, and Jarrod

A team photo from the recent 5k. We had our largest turnout of participants probably in the history of installation fun runs.

Jumped on the permanent jewelry bandwagon. A huge thank you to our beautiful friend, Lyndsie, for the opportunity to get bracelets. If you come across Sacred Strands, you’re in for a treat!

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I ask you –

Have you tried the Gooey Butter Cake?

Is there a food you’re currently stuck on?

Permanent jewelry: yay or nay?

(The post (More) Photos with Minimal Explanations first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Research

A few questions: How to be informed? What does that mean to people?

Another question: Where do people get their news?

Thoughts: Terms like gaslighting and narcissism are incredibly overused. I don’t think people even know what these mean anymore (or at all). How are we a society of wannabe psychologists?

Reflection on the past course: the way the discussion board posts go makes me question humanity. Careless mistakes, incorrect references, ridiculous replies…these are the people who run organizations? Who will be called Dr? Help us. They can’t write a full sentence. Someone used my full name to address me in such a way I’m fairly certain my great great grandmother wrote it. It’s a discussion, not a formal letter!

Women who grow up with tumultuous relationships with their mothers develop into one of two types of adult women: 1) those that seek other women who mother them or 2) those that become the mothers to other women. I navigated this relationship with my best friend, never really understanding why it was like that. We both had/have difficult maternal relationships so we weren’t able to grow in our relationship together until we each became a mother. Now, we analyze it in many of our individual friendships. Thus far, it holds true.

I read an article about redeeming your dreams and how they never end until you give up on them. This next course had me questioning my dreams, if only for a brief moment. So I cried for a minute and picked myself back up with the help of my most encouraging people. Giving up on my dream is not an option. But sometimes doubt creeps in, tells you it’s too hard, and makes you question your abilities. And that’s ok, for a second. I’m only human. I just keep telling myself the finish line isn’t that far away and hundreds of other people have managed to make it to this stage – so who am I to doubt myself.

My dissertation is only a small portion of the things I’d like to study, even though I swore I was 1 and done on the massive scale of writing anything. But there’s so much more to find out! Back to the research…

P.S. today is Spare Part’s birthday. She’s getting old.

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I ask you –

When was the last time you went to a book fair?

Are you in the “I must mother everyone!” or “Where is my mother?” stage?

Share something you’re interested in researching or would like to know the answer to.

(The post Research first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I Should Have Known

…when watching any show with mini, she narrates, talks over, answers, and yells incessantly at the television in a loud, expert know-it-all voice. It’s maddening. And I cannot focus on her voice and the television because too many sounds make me anxious. My only thought is I should have known.

a brief quiet moment

addicted to Axolotls

…it’s lonely at the top. Being the go-to, advocating for others, and making judgment calls requires a strong heart. So when others encourage me to take time off, to recharge, to get away from the office, it means I should heed their words. And the relief I get from the escape is a reminder I should have known.

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I ask you –

Is it even true that there’s things we should know before encountering them?

How often do you take time off?

Tell me your favorite way to relax!

(The post I Should Have Known first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Tired

The problem with “powering through” this final traditional course is that you (ahem, I) have failed to see the toll it’s taken on me. Like a slow burn, one may not notice the wick is gone until the candle goes out. When I’m taking it week by week, once I submit a paper, then I take a day of rest. With the power on always, it can be hard to see the light beginning to flicker. Until it goes dark. In taking strides to maximize my break before beginning the next course, to have 14 days off instead of 7, I just keep plowing ahead. And there are consequences for it.

Like the constant exhaustion. And the lack of restful sleep. Much like overtraining, it plagues me until I back off. And when I finally get a chance for uninterrupted sleep, it doesn’t feel like enough. My brain forgets to process the message that it needs to rest. Go to sleep, dammit! Hopefully by the time of this post, I’ll have realized it’s just a phase and sleep will have returned to a normal pattern. Or else I’ll have stayed up way too late to watch the Super Bowl. Priorities.

So instead of complaining, or continuing to complain, here’s a recent photo of mini with her ice cream cone. She gets it. Life is too short. Eat ice cream.

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I ask you –

Have you been struggling with sleep?

Do you tend to power through?

Favorite ice cream brand! Braums.

(The post Tired first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Mama + Mini

Nov 2023

Found these matching shirts at a yearly tradition, Hangar Holiday. Many years ago it was actually held inside a hangar but it outgrew the hangar and it was difficult to coordinate community access. Now, roughly 30,000 people congregate inside an event center and shuffle their way around 250+ booths. Oh the anxiety.

Circa May 2018

Anyway, someone recently mentioned that a blog is like a digital diary. I believe the point of the mention was to keep close your precious memories and not feel the need to share everything; however, that notion directly contradicts the entirety of a blog so here we are. Although I don’t share everything on here, I try to put the important things on paper for posterity purposes only. Righhhht. Mini still holds my hand, still says I love you at the most random times, and still shares the important goings-on in her life and I still soak them all up, even at times of complete frustration because I know these are the memories I will hold tightly to when she embarks on her own away-from-home adventures and when she no longer wants to wear matching shirts.

But that’s not today so I’ll keep sharing!

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I ask you –

Have you ever had matching shirts with a friend or child?

Do you own a diary? As a child, I did.

Tell me your thoughts on writing for posterity!

(The post Mama + Mini first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post: I’m Not That Mom

I’m a little overwhelmed from my return from beautiful Baltimore so please enjoy this repost until I have something new to share. Don’t be mistake – I have TONS of new material, I just don’t have a moment to put it in words just yet because I’m busy writing a paper that spans from 15-47 pages and includes tables with absolutely no direction, headings, or context. I promise to return to my regular funny self in approximately 7 calendar days. -Kel

…that creates elaborate birthday parties

…that can do more than two basic hairstyles

…that allows sleepovers outside of immediate family

…that has much patience with simple directions

…who is more focused on grades than kindness

…that believes in yelling or spanking

But I am that mom who –

…wakes up worrying

…over plans a weekend then accomplishes one thing

…enjoys watching my baby sleep beside me because I have no boundaries

…insists on the application of sunscreen

…prefers clothes to match

…can be overcome with laughter and forget to be mad

…asks for kisses and hugs

A polarizing topic, at best, is the way I was raised and the relationship, or lack thereof, I have with my own mother. As a parent, I know she was probably doing the best she could. But it has impacted our ability to relate and connect. As much as I love mini, I don’t believe we were ever designed to be best friends, as some parents refer to their children. I think the idea of being friends with your children is dangerous and potentially damaging due to expectations that will never be met. I’m her mom and that’s a big enough task, in my opinion. Friendships should be what she cultivates on her own, according to her own terms, and in different seasons in life. I want her to always be able to come to me with anything, yet not as a friend but as a woman who gives advice, hugs, and proper discipline.

The mom life is tough. I’m certainly not discounting dad life, grandparent life, parenting in general. Mini is never far from my mind – it’s hard raising a decent human being while attempting to set a good example because that attempt is often thwarted.

Especially when it comes to sleeping in her own bed.

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I ask you –

Are you a gentle parent or a structured one?

What type of childhood did you have?

Take a guess: what are the odds she’ll sleep in her own bed now that she’s seven? 1 in 7.

(The post I’m Not That Mom first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos

Warning: language.

The 2nd time this has happened in as many months. I really need people to learn to park!

My wingwoman bought this for me in Copenhagen, Denmark. She said it instantly reminded her of me. She’s not wrong.

They gave me a paddle, of which I threatened to use on anyone within arm’s length! Seriously, though, it’s nice to be recognized.

Mini did some pumpkin patch things with her classmates. She even brought home a pumpkin! Now to convince her to carve it so I can have roasted pumpkin seeds.

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I ask you –

Is there a particular phrase that resonates with your personality?

Do you like roasted pumpkin seeds?

Tell me what you have going on this month!

(The post Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

This May Not Be For Everyone

Disclaimer: this post may not be for everyone but, as I’m uber inclusive, read at your own peril.

It amazes me every single month how far removed I am from understanding my body. I get the basics, the ins and outs, the birds and the bees, all that. But somehow after having a monthly cycle for nearly 3 decades – 3 whole decades! – I still can’t get it right. I either “forget” it’s almost that time and am entirely unprepared OR I suddenly can’t calculate how often I’ll need to go to the restroom. And, my personal favorite, is when my body does this stupid switcharoo crap, like oh you should probably change your tampon around the hour 4 mark, then the next time it should have been hour 1 and I had zero warning. So there I am – bleeding out in the bathroom, trying not to pass out, frantically using every last brain cell to navigate how to make it to the shower or a change of clothes or bed…just so we can do this again in a few hours. This is really so much fun.

Let’s not forget how truly exciting it is to pee on your tampon string because they make that thing so short. Then it’s gross and wet and your clothes are wet and I’m just angry by this point. Additionally, have a micro dose of labor-like cramps. Because a week per month couldn’t be complete without those. The best part about the whole ordeal is no matter how many weeks between cycles, somehow blessedly I forget how terrible it is until the next one creeps up on me. Supplies!

Anyone remember when mini described tampons as running sticks? What about when, without warning, she tried to pull my tampon string out of me, then giggled like the 2 yr old she was? I do remember these events well. Now, I just keep telling her we’ll talk soon, avoiding a conversation I can only imagine will go something like this…”You mean, like every month? WHY?”

I sure hope other women out there are doing it right, never forgetting, enjoying pain-free periods, with dry tampons and a clockwork cycle. But, if not, you’ve come to the right place. Because I suck at being female. And lucky for all of you I have the ability to write about the trials of a monthly period on my famously infamous public platform.

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I ask you –

No catchy questions this time unless you have something enlightening to add here.

(The post This May Not Be For Everyone first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)