Now What

The last few weeks have felt like a massive punt. A ginormous swipe left on everything. I don’t have time for this, for that, for any of these things. Delegate, relegate, and set a reminder to follow up. Frankly, it was overwhelming and disheartening. I couldn’t keep it together.

Thankfully, the tides turned. I was able to breathe again. Nothing felt crushing. Must be perimenopause. But did I really have to go through all that?!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

‘Tis the seasons, right? We become complacent in having it together, then we’re hit with a crushing wave of every little thing at once and we lose sight of the sky above our ocean. Fortunately, this is normal. Shrug. Last week, I leveraged connections for a senior leader panel and, as I listened/moderated/tried not to laugh too loudly, I realized (again) this is where I belong. Every decision, every consequence, every moment has led to this. No one’s path is the same. According to those leaders, even they hadn’t imagined this was where they would end up. Sure, they had goals. But when they met the goal, they looked around and asked “now what?” The same thought has been my season for a short time. I’m here…now what?

It seems this post has come together better than I expected. Now what. It can be a question, a statement, or an exclamatory response. Perhaps the way the punctuation is shaped indicates how we react. Tone tells a story. Be present now. Right now.

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I ask you –

What season are you in now…personally? Professionally?

What will you do with it?

(The post Now What first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Celebratory (Cup)Cake

10 years total as active duty + civilian! I’m blessed to have the perspective of both sides of the uniform and two different military branches. There was nothing easy about either; however, I make a better civilian than I did in NWUs.

This seemingly rickety bridge has been around longer than 10 years. Probably 100. As you can see, the Wichita River is flowing courtesy of the recent rains. As several of us volunteered to set up an obstacle run, the Texas-sized mosquitoes tried to carry us off. We prevailed.

Surviving an incredibly long, stressful, packed week warranted ice cream and cupcakes. The ice cream? Meh. I think Cookie Two Step rates much higher on the “you gotta try this” scale. Brookie A La Mode just didn’t do it for me.

The star of the show was the cupcakes. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it before, but when I was stationed in Pensacola my first year in the Navy, my best friend, Sam, turned me on to Kimberly’s cupcakes. Who knows how many cupcakes were consumed as we tried them all. All. I don’t recall ever eating a bad Kimberly’s cupcake. It’s the perfect blend of frosting and super soft, moist cake. They are divine. When I lived in Virginia, I could still purchase Kimberly’s cupcakes. However, upon moving back to Texas, I only recall seeing Kimberly’s cupcakes a handful of times in the local grocery stores. It’s been at least 5 years since their last sighting. Until now! A new (to me) grocery chain recently opened and they have Kimberly’s cupcakes. This will not end well.

I didn’t set out to celebrate 10 years with the customary ice cream and cake yet somehow it found me when I needed it. Thanks, Kimberly, wherever and whoever you are.

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I ask you –

Have you ever tried Kimberly’s cupcakes?

What are your thoughts on the Blue Bell flavor?

(The post Celebratory (Cup)Cake first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Moments of Resilience

Turns out I’m allergic to patterned carpet. Dramatic much, Kel. Obviously I’m not allergic. More like averse to it. The patterns are optical and often symmetrical enough to prompt a very dizzying effect. Hotels, classrooms, and educational training sites often utilize this type of carpet which really causes issues with my brain. Or equilibrium. You know what else causes all the sneezing? Beautiful, resilient, blooms, like these flowers. How can something so gorgeous create so many issues?!

CMSgt Fabrienne Burnett

This incredible woman made a few last minute stops on her way to retirement and I was so humbled to be a part of her waypoint. You see, she just returned from deployment in a war-torn, volatile area. Sure, she’s done her fair share of deployments but the emotion I felt in her presence was stained with exhaustion, and dare I say, an undercurrent of hurt. The sheer fact that she took it upon herself to say goodbye rather than fading into R&R without a rear view speaks volumes of her commitment. CMSgt Burnett is one of a kind. I’ve seen some good ones, but she is a great one. And to say she will be missed is an understatement. At a recent commander’s call, our commander asked for a raise of hands to indicate who knew or had been impacted by Chief. Nearly the entire room had a hand raised. As I looked around at the faces of those with their hands up, it was apparent the impression she had made. People were smiling. And that’s what people did when they saw her in her office, out and about, in their spaces. They smiled. She cared. And she will be missed.

All this to say, the empathic part of me accepted her emotions. As the day went on, I kept coming back to those emotions, visible in her eyes and the long hug – needing connection, stability, and a listening ear. The next day, I had grand plans to run, to do things, to be productive. Instead, I couldn’t find the energy. I knew if I didn’t sit with the emotions, my mind and body would eventually force me to do so. When it hits, there’s no pause button, no “please schedule a time…”. So I sat. I rested. I felt. This is the resilience we often speak of. The acknowledgement to ourselves we are strong, even when weak.

Even as the flowers are beautiful, they are equally resilient. If only my nose was the same.

________________

I ask you –

Have you someone in your life who embodies the core of resiliency?

(The post Moments of Resilience first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle

The Pareto Principle aka the 80/20 Rule

Named after economist Vilfredo Pareto, the Pareto Principle states 80% of results are from 20% of causes which implies only a small amount of the minority is actually driven by the majority. This disproportionate principle is often viewed from the people standpoint, i.e., 80% of the work is completed by 20% of the people. So what about the remaining work and/or people? Well, this is where life is not fair. Equal distribution is a myth, much like the term “balance”.

Businesses would lead us to believe that rewarding the 20% encourages the remaining percentage to do better. No such evidence exists. As some are more motivated by consequences, it is difficult to tell if these are positive or negative consequences. Nonetheless, it can be quite frustrating to be the 20% completing 80% of the work while the remaining workforce contributes little. Wealth distribution was Pareto’s basis for this principle, which relied on statistical tools. Today, many believe the Pareto Principle is manipulated and, therefore, not the universal principle originally touted.

One area where the Pareto Principle is applicable is time management. For example, working for 40-45 mins, then taking a 15-20 min break. Yes, I know it’s not 80/20, work with me here. Most training curriculums mimic this style because studies have shown the attention span is approximately 11 minutes and taking a 10 min break every 60 mins encourages physical and mental reprieve.

I won’t say this one is the most interesting. However, I will say it’s the most common (to me). In a rapidly changing society of differing generational norms, I was raised to work hard, to own my behavior and mistakes, and to strive for the top. It does not seem this way anymore.

More to come!

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I ask you –

Without adding “but” or “because”, ask yourself – are you the 80% or the 20%?

(The post Expand Your Mind, pt 3 – The Pareto Principle first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Ten!

We celebrated 10 years! Instead of the traditional party, we made a quick trip to DFW to eat, shop, and generally create chaos. Success! With cash in hand, Mini made good choices and reckless choices, but her “loot” (as she calls it) was quite satisfying.

A fabulous brunch at The Brunch District in Addison. Truly a best kept secret. Mini’s Eggs Benedict stole the show. Once a girl who avoided anything considered spicy, she has opened her mind and taste buds to new things…and a taste for simple spicy.

We drank a lot of coffee. Of course. The Ninja Kids Adventure Park was also a hit.

And we shopped until we nearly dropped. Better than a party, in my opinion, and so much fun. The experience was worth the drive, the stormy weather, and the very late arrival home.

My sweet 10-yr-old is a happy, kind, beautiful, strong, young lady with an appreciation for fun and chaos. Her wide smile is shared with everyone. And her critical opinions are both humorous and fearsome. As some would say, she’s a hoot!

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I ask you –

Tell me your favorite birthday memory!

(The post Ten! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

March Movement + Random Recap

March movement totals weren’t too bad considering this new age bracket. 40+. It looks like I decreased on the two-a-day workouts, but it was probably for the best.

In other news, another season of intramural volleyball is upon us. Allow me to introduce The Shiny Ones –

Our losing streak is alive and well. Oh well. I must say, though, the team has come a long way and definitely looks more comfortable on the court. The elusive winning streak may or may not come, but, if fun is the intention, then they win every time.

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I ask you –

What are the odds The Shiny Ones win at least 1 game this season? About the same as the Bears winning the Super Bowl next year.

…very possible!

(The post March Movement + Random Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pirating the Big Easy

Quick trip to New Orleans, complete with a course of training. When in Rome…we do all the things the Orlians do. Or whatever they said.

So much coffee.

And cozy spots to chat.

And balconies.

A trip to restore the mind, body, and soul. Many conversations were had, and many will live in infamy. Alas, that’s what best friends are for.

________________

I ask you –

What does “when in Rome” mean to you?

(The post Pirating the Big Easy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

1%

I forgot to mention a pretty amazing email I received on my birthday. Not the freebies. An invitation to publish in the US Public Administration Journal (USPAJ). I was floored. It’s been almost a year since I defended my dissertation and graduated, but there is never an end date on research and scholarship. It is a process to have it peer reviewed then published. However, it was a process to get this far so what’s new.

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

If 1% of humans serve in the military and 1% of humans earn a PhD, then what is the percentage of veteran women with a PhD? According the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs, in 2023, 1.7% of women veterans have earned a PhD. In fact, trends point to higher education attainment in women veterans and women nonveterans versus men veterans/nonveterans.

Other interesting facts –

Only 1% of the population is truly ambidextrous. Many believe (or claim) ambidexterity; however, it means equal strength, ability, etc.
Chenowith, while studying civil disobedience, found it takes just 3.5% of nonviolent campaigns to spark political change.
Experience Aphantasia, a rare condition which prevents a person from visualizing an image in their mind, impacting the ability to dream or remember, among other issues.

Although I have only listed a few instances of 1% facts, undoubtedly there exists countless other examples. In this day of roughly billions of human inhabitants, it can be difficult to believe there are still rarities which exist. Not to worry, I still believe you are special!

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I ask you –

Are you part of a certain 1%?

(The post 1% first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 10 (in progress)

On my birthday weekend, Mini outdid herself! She ran a 5k with me, she finally showed up to help me with the short disciples, and she found a new bathing suit! All tougher than they look.

A whole photo shoot, courtesy of mini.

For 3.14, we celebrated Pie Day with a 5k and pie! Any excuse to eat pie is a good one in my book, so I didn’t need convincing. Mini chose blueberry pie, which we both enjoyed. She came in first in her age group…and now that I’m in a new age bracket (40-49) I also placed first in my age group!

The following week I managed 2 runs, twice as many as achieved nearly the entire month prior. Now, to keep the streak alive.

Not much for this post. Hope you all have an amazing day!

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I ask you –

If you like pie, what is your favorite? Aunt Mary Catherine’s blueberry pie.

(The post Outtakes, episode 10 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Cheers to 40 Years

Mini’s got jokes

When I tell you I thought the week leading up to 40 (not 50 as mini would have you believe) was difficult, even the word difficult doesn’t capture how trying it was.

I’d like to think I’m prepared for anything. But when a situation stops you dead in your tracks and you are forced to navigate your own emotions, moving away from those emotions is like falling without a parachute. Though I wouldn’t exactly know. Never could I be prepared for the adrenaline dump. It’s a moment like this I’m thankful for others who checked on me, who let me take a minute to breathe, who were gentle with me. Living should never be taken lightly. And asking the really really really hard questions is not for the faint of heart. My title isn’t free. It comes with a heavy cost and, although I’m living a career dream come true, the title is paid for in blood, sweat, and tears.

On a more lighthearted note, this cake makes the toughest days a little brighter.

Lemon blueberry cake, courtesy of Tanto

So do beautiful flowers –

Muse love

And the real reason for all the shenanigans –

Spare Parts and I

40!

She and I received so many messages, calls, texts, and a visit from her sweet grandbaby! Our families and friends made today extra special. If this is 40, I’m a big fan!

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I ask you –

Do you celebrate your birthday or is it just another day?

(The post Cheers to 40 Years first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)