Anew in 2025

My heart has been hurting for some time now. The holidays had me at war with myself. Every day in November, I did one thing for myself. I went to the coffee shop frequently, I escaped work to go window shopping, I went on long walks, I dated me. In December, I set a goal to work out as much during the week as possible. I created my own workouts to excuse the knee pain, I religiously followed up with doctors to get the X-ray and MRI, I pushed hard for me.

Then, the diagnosis of patellar tendonitis. Doesn’t sound so bad. My first question – can I run? Short answer: not yet. There’s still inflammation, there’s still remedies, there’s still physical therapy. I was happy with a diagnosis and thankful for an intact meniscus, but I still can’t run. I’m still in pain. There’s still swelling. I’m not ready to run, I know, I know. Yet I really wanted to just take off, down the street, carefree, moving my body the way I love to do.

2024: 267 miles

Afterwards, the threat of government shutdown, of furloughing my staff, of making dozens of notifications to people who just want to enjoy their holiday. My thin thread of sanity was fraying. My hard-fought and well-earned beach vacation was beginning to feel like a middle finger to everyone left behind. The one beating heart inside me threatened to collapse.

I should be excited. I should be ready to tackle the new year. My ethics board review will most likely be completed early January. I can begin scheduling, then traveling for my research. I will graduate in 2025.

But, for whatever reason, peace eludes me. The things I’ve tried to fill my time with, to refocus on, to overcome, have not been enough. I’m getting there. This is a hard one. And I think it’s important that others know you’re not alone.

Artist: B. N.

Not to worry. I’m ok. Just need a little more time.

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I ask you –

Any defining word for 2025?

Feel free to share your difficulties with the holidays or regarding life in general. We’re all doing the best we can.

(The post Anew in 2025 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Holiday Recap

There were school parties.

And work parties.

A lot of walks.

And even more coffee –

More to come in 2025.

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I ask you –

Recap your holidays!

(The post Holiday Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post! Tip Toe’ing

2nd re-post on this joyous Christmas week. Hope you all are celebrating, rejoicing, smiling, and taking time to enjoy the holiday. Be back soon!

…thru the tulips!

It’s a good thing the expedition called for tiptoeing because my knees are very bruised from volleyball but we’re undefeated so I can’t complain too much. Also, a day after turning 38, I managed to bust all the blood vessels in my middle finger putting the volleyball net away. Not my middle finger! I need that one! This is why…I have spare parts.

Back to the tulips, the Texas Tulips located in Pilot Point, TX. Only accessible about 6 weeks out of the year, it’s a fun getaway, one I didn’t know anything about until a few weeks ago. Spring Break presented the perfect opportunity.

I might have also overindulged in sushi and cookies. Both were incredible! If you’re in the DFW area, Sushi Axiom is one of my favorites. I probably should have taken a photo but I ate it all before considering the photo op. For the cookies, Insomnia Cookies is the way to go. Only available near college campuses, they’re open until 0200ish and offer delivery of warm, fresh cookies to your doorstep. Not kidding.

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I ask you –

What are your favorite flowers?

Have you heard of Insomnia Cookies?

Any idea on the origin of the word tiptoe?

(The post Re-Post! Tip Toe’ing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post! The World Needs More Smiles

From 5 Feb 2024, I’m re-sharing to draw attention back to the this beautiful, strong, amazing woman who has no idea how much she has influenced my life. Tis vacation week on the island, so I’m soaking up the sun and celebrating Christmas with copious amounts of crustaceans. See you all soon.

This woman inspires me to sing louder, love harder, and laugh for as long as possible. The impact she has had and still has on my life is immeasurable. Her smile! She’s more patient than I could ever imagine being. I hope she doesn’t mind my use of her photo here because she is simply the most beautiful woman I know and I want to share her joy with everyone I meet.

These goofballs – we spend a lot of time laughing at each other and alternately rolling our eyes. The gnome addiction is real. Very real. I find myself searching high and low everywhere I go for unique gnomes I can gift her. To be clear, I’m speaking of Parts, not mini. Mini has a collection of a thousand other things, she does not need any gnomes.

Sometimes it can feel like the world is completely mad. But, make an effort to smile. It’s lifechanging.

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I ask you –

Do you make an effort to smile often?

Have you and (anyone) ever owned matching pajamas?

Tell me what things you collect!

(The post Re-Post! The World Needs More Smiles first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Productive Waiting

Merry Fitmas, everyone. The most loathed “holiday” to ever be. According to my spouse and child. It’s actually quite simple. For every day of December, each person must accomplish one physical activity and one chore-centered task. For example, a physical activity such as walking, i.e., a purposeful physical activity. Not the normal amount of daily activity. Parts tried. A chore is something outside of the regular day’s chores; also, going to work does not count. Maybe I made up the rules, maybe I didn’t. Thus far, I think we’ve all been incredibly productive albeit unwilling.

Truth be told, I don’t really like the holidays. There is a heaviness to the expectation to perform, decorate, volunteer, and smile through it all. I’m all about volunteerism – huge fan! But why can’t I just volunteer 11 months out of the year?

Waiting is also very expensive. I priced the software I would need post-research. $500 for 50 hours?! Granted, it’s the best on the market, I’m familiar with it, and it decreases my effort to transcribe dozens of interviews. Sold! Cost be damned. I’ll pay for convenience.

And, on this final note of paying for things, I purchased a voice recorder which uploads audio files – in this case, interviews – to my computer for transcription via the aforementioned incredibly expensive software. Again, convenience. See also expensive.

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I ask you –

On average, how productive are you?

How do you bide your time during long periods of waiting?

Tell me the most expensive thing you’ve purchased lately.

(The post Productive Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Bee There

Introducing Bee’s Rolled Ice Cream. I know I only typically write about coffee, but I’ll make an exception for the best ice cream in Texoma. It’s a large claim – trust me. This is the best!

And, like many great places, her ice cream is only available where she parks her truck! This adorable kitchen on wheels is a magical place full of sweet treats. Did I mention the founder is only 17 years old? Beautiful, smart, and an incredible young lady, the sweet Briady (affectionately called Bee) has dozens of curated flavors for patrons to choose from.

Somehow, I won a giveaway for 4 free rolled ice cream desserts. Seems the heavens shine upon me for giveaways. Remember the shoes for 20 years? I’m still living that dream!

L to R – Cookies & Cream, Peaches & Cream, NY Style Cheesecake, and Pistachio

Pistachio was incredible. There’s really no other word. Somehow, she managed to capture both the creaminess of ice cream with the subtle pistachio flavor. Cheesecake, and peaches & cream were also top hits. Mini loved the cookies & cream!

I’m sad I never visited before the giveaway. Like all great places, I tell myself I’ll visit but never make the time. I’m so sorry, Bee! Knowing what I know now… don’t be surprised to find me near the Wichita Falls Brewing Company between 4-8pm Fri-Sun!

P.S. Tell her Running on Fumes sent you!

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I ask you –

Have you ever had rolled ice cream? It’s divine.

Of the flavors I mentioned, which would you try?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. I hope you all have a wonderful day filled with light.

(The post Bee There first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fighting the Good Fight

In an unexpected turn of (good) news, Parts and I had a frank discussion about how our childhood expectations have influenced us as parents. As much as I love and miss my grandparents, the differences between their lives and mine are stark. Sparse coping skills, ineffective decisions, questionable parenthood techniques. Not to say this wasn’t the norm then; however, the saying “we always want better for our children” is a bit of a rally cry.

Credit: unknown via Instagram

Parts and I are decision makers, family leaders, cycle breakers. We ask questions, we demand accountability, and we choose those who will walk beside us. What we don’t need is to beg for attention, and we don’t want peace disruptors. Life is complicated enough as it is without adding drama. Our lives were filled with drama, nearly all of it out of our control.

But, just saying ‘don’t make the same mistakes I did’ isn’t nearly enough. We lead by example, by sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. We share the why. We communicate. Listen, then speak.

Credit: artofpoets via Instagram

All this to encourage others to speak up, to speak out, to share their stories in an effort to change the status quo. There is so much out there to experience.

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I ask you –

What lately has caused you to stop and reconsider childhood and adulthood differences?

Do you lead by example?

For my Veteran friends and family, wishing you a day of peaceful remembrance. Happy Veteran’s Day!

(The post Fighting the Good Fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Into November

All of a sudden, I was no longer waiting. Despite it being a very weird feeling, I’m excited for this step. My manuscript was approved for proposal defense! Granted, it’s not until mid-November but it turns out I’ll be traveling during that time and will defend from a hotel room. Could be worse places. Even with a heavy edit, the first three chapters of my manuscript span 303 pages at nearly 71, 500 words. Thank you, Microsoft Word, for reminding me.

My text to friends and family informing them of this momentous news included all caps. Seemed fitting. Until this post, I have slowly been updating some formatting issues and putting the finishing touches on the presentation. Waiting is somehow better received when there’s a date to look forward to.

I feel as if November will fly by, much like October, even though some weeks took a month to pass. I’d like to start a movement advocating 31 October only be held on Friday or Saturday because trick-or-treating on a Thursday night is awful. The mini gremlin awoke Friday morning confused and slightly feral. Thankfully, next year it will be on a Friday. Surely, I can find something else to complain about. Until then, check out some Halloween shenanigans.

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I ask you –

Do you send texts in all caps?

Will November pass by quickly or slowly?

Name your favorite costume!

(The post Into November first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

When it’s busy

In several years, this is the first time I’ve had a full staff. Every position filled, with both new and seasoned employees keeping me on my toes. Yet, I’m the lucky one. Nearly daily, I marvel at the opportunity to be their leader. Someone believed in me, chose me, to lead them. It’s an honor unlike anything else. We have frank, real, deep conversations. I feel their respect when I explain the why.

Get it together. Some days it feels as if everyone is a psychology major. Words from the DSM (current edition DSM-5-TR) are now buzzwords. For example, imposter syndrome. Never heard of it until recently, now we can’t unhear it. I believe the concept is real; however, using it as an excuse for not stepping up is irritating. Sometimes there is no one more qualified than you, regardless of what your insecurities tell you. Be the leader. Do good things.

A small portion of Team Fitness

Nevertheless, transitioning from employee to mentor to leader is not for the weak. It is a lot of needs to balance! I do my best to share the big picture, the budget constraints, always the why behind decisions, yet some are reluctant to grasp the entire narrative. How many times have I done the same.

Tis the season for a million demands on my time. From a weekend with multiple events to planning upcoming holiday activities, it can be hard to take a deep breath. I don’t know how some people manage to float from one busy weekend to the next. My brain is tired just contemplating what’s on the agenda

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I ask you –

How often do you use the term imposter syndrome?

What’s on your calendar?

Advice for the break takers!

(The post When it’s busy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I’m a Forgetter

Long live volleyball! I just wish I didn’t hurt myself so easily. Yes, I own knee pads. Several pairs. But did I remember to bring them and put them on? Clearly not.

My kind doctor said I had 6 months to fix my high cholesterol levels. In his defense, he’s given me 3 yrs thus far. The good stuff is getting better but it’s still overall too high for comfort. I blame my parents. In the meantime, I’ve made some easy switches – less fat, more good stuff. Turns out turkey bacon is really good, and I definitely enjoy balsamic vinegar on my salad. More avocado, less fried stuff. We’ll see what happens. I’m always up for an experiment!

Me: I know it’s Saturday morning at 0500, nearing FY end, so let me check my email and really test these new anxiety meds. My brain: Dondnekndicngmeixnwkffiend🤯. Long story short – now I will worry and feel ill the remainder of the day for forgetting for 4 months! to order something I agreed to.

Volunteers, team of 2

Definitely needed a run to clear my head from that disaster. Later in the day, I saw the victim of my forgetfulness and apologized profusely. She didn’t seem to mind much, which was a big change from my anxious brain telling me to escape. Ugh, such a liar.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you enjoy any healthy alternatives to your favorite foods?

What is your go-to activity to clear your head?

Tell me about forgetting something important!

(The post I’m a Forgetter first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)