Defining Moments

I am sure everyone has small, unsuspecting yet defining moments to reference who/why they are the way they are. The title came to me when considering mini’s recent dance recital. Subsequent thoughts traversed from her love of dance and performing arts to my lack thereof. Instead, I thought back to a moment where I stood on a makeshift stage, speech in hand, ready to convince my entire middle school I deserved to be elected into the student council. I recall spending days forming my speech and reading it to my dad. It was good. If I do say so myself.

But after 2 students ahead of me, listening to their brief and not entirely convincing schpill, I second guessed myself. When it was my turn, I said my name, said please elect me, and quickly exited. Talk about disappointment. When my name was not called for the electees, it was no big surprise. But it was at that moment I knew I would not minimize myself again for something I truly wanted.

Hip Hop

Fast forward. A singular moment in time shaped me. Just as you, loyal readers, have similar (or vastly different) experiences, these moments shape, erode, and refine. It’s fascinating how one experience can have lifelong effects. Mini will seemingly always love dance. She’s good at it, and if dancing doesn’t take her where she wants to be, assuredly her sass will.

Credit: IG

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I ask you –

Share a time you didn’t bring your A-game.

(The post Defining Moments first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Picking it back up

I didn’t realize I really only spent 6 years of my life in the “white house”, the now dilapidated, overgrown photo in the bottom left corner (above). Just 6 years. Yet somehow those years, although formidable, encompass a vast amount of trauma, memories, and pieces of my life I spent a majority running from.

RoF has captured my time “back home”. Since it’s been several weeks now from the last time I visited, the picture (no pun intended) is much clearer in my mind. I love how family still lives near and have molded new lives of their own, with beautiful memories which add to my collection. Mini and I discuss my dad and other parts of the family; however, I’m hesitant to share too much as it’s not her burden to carry.

Fortunately, I believe I’m in a good place in life to acknowledge a memory then release it. The book awaits. As I haven’t tried writing in years, soon it will be time to proverbially pick up the pen again. As new memories dull the sharpness of unpleasant ones, I’m mindful not to wait too long.

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I ask you –

Have you started writing a book/novel/short story to be derailed for a lengthy amount of time?

(The post Picking it back up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

TX – AR – TN – KY

Sights and sounds of a road trip through Arkansas, then Tennessee, and the southern part of Kentucky.

I will say this was one of the most fun trips I’ve taken. However, the road trips which stand above them all were the ones to the Texas border cities. Yes, some might balk at the selfishness of my thoughts but I still can’t explain my gratefulness to strangers for sharing their lives and their reality with me, also a stranger, an outsider with a desire to write what they gave me.

We turned a 20+ year retirement event into a 5-day road trip, complete with food, coffee (tons of coffee), and shopping. Participating in a Naval retirement flag detail is a big deal. Quite the honor actually. So, when mini’s dad asked me to be the final part of the detail – delivering the U.S. flag to mini – I had some initial reservations because hello, wild card. But I quickly realized it was a big deal to him and, one day, it will be to her. Upon acceptance, I didn’t fully understand the logistics of said trip and all the little parts which make it a huge event. Not thinking, agreement. When the time came to pack, and travel, and take off from work – I was a little overwhelmed but also really excited to try new coffee shops. I mean, participate.

Without further ado (and in no particular order), some photos and related commentary.

Tacos 4 Life, Benton, Arkansas

I adore Tacos 4 Life. Bold, fun flavors, great ingredients, and a mission to donate a portion of every sale to others in need. A must try!

My hometown…tiny, no stop light, Avery, Texas

I took this photo intending to send it to a high school classmate, but then I forgot until I started writing here. Sorry, Jen. This convenience store has the best chimichangas in all the lands. Indeed.

Koffeewithakause (via IG), Bryant, AR

Incredible coffee from a local vendor. I drank me way through the states.

The Parthenon, Central Park area, Nashville, TN

Admittedly I’m not very interested in Roman, Greek, or any type of history, minus select, niche things. Trains. But an opportunity to view and explore the museum inside a gigantic Parthenon replica was a must do on my list. It did not disappoint.

Retirement cookies

And, finally, the retirement ceremony was everything mini’s dad had hoped it would be. It was a short yet emotional homage to his Naval career and I hope mini sees his time away as one which made her stronger and more resilient. The trip was a whirlwind but a necessary respite.

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I ask you –

Of the four I mentioned, have you visited some/all/none?

What were your favorite things to do there?

Tell me how many retirement ceremonies you’ve attended. Countless.

(The post TX – AR – TN – KY first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Before & After, sort of

Disclaimer. The photo below was originally sent to Parts as we discussed how she’s graduating her final child from high school and is still managing to screw it up. Then, we brainstormed a book about it. And we made fun of nearly everything serious in her life, roast fashion.

But, I really wanted to post the photo with a caption about how I needed to pee while out waking and was worried to find a bush/patch of ground because my butt would be ambushed by mosquitoes.

Which then prompted my thought about how I don’t post those things on social media yet I save them for the blog which does get posted on social media. So basically I just add another step to read the good stuff.

Anyway, we graduated my nephew this past weekend which resulted in a very quick trip to my hometown, complete with the most humid run I’ve encountered in quite some time, a lot of dirty looks from people in my old life, and a hug from my ex’s grandmother with the words “Yes, I remember her, I liked this one”. HaHA. What’s funny is I thought she hated me, but I did spend time with her and listened to her stories. She even invited me to visit her. Seriously, though, some of us have not aged well.

And, on aging, late night and early morning conversations with my aunt and uncle resulted in a conglomerate of topics, such as educators, the education system, federalist papers, and the Constitution. Then, work ethic, Mark Twain, the Roman Empire, and the Bronze Age. What I enjoy most is these are discussions based on our interpretation of what we know, or have heard, and less about what we can research and clarify in the moment. For all we know, we have missed the mark entirely, but it’s those reasons which make it fun, thought provoking, and eye opening.

On that note, this is my final thought: people generally have little fear. But, the fear of being forgotten trumps many.

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I ask you –

What would you have done about the mosquitoes?

Do you fear being forgotten once you’re gone?

Name a subject you often discuss with others.

(The post Before & After, sort of first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Staples in the Fabric of Life

Believe it or not, I am the type of person who does not do well with change. Which is comical because my work life constantly changes. It drains me. And it takes me, what feels like, days to process change. When I began my work with the Air Force in 2020, I would listen when others said they would retire in 20-whatever or in (insert number of) years. In those moments, it didn’t resonate.

Now? With the past 4 years fraught with retirements, it has become another point of change I must take time to process. Because these are no longer people whom I didn’t really know. They’re…friends. Beacons in my workplace. Coworkers with vast amounts of knowledge, who have shared their memories and children and stories. They truly are staples in the fabric of my office, my life, my world.

It is possible I’m waxing poetic about a topic you may not relate to or are not as invested in as I am. Fine. But I do believe we all have those people in our lives whom we have “grown up” with, so when they depart, then there’s an empty space they once filled. Even if it is a chair on the third floor in room 308, the person who fills the seat is still a person.

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I ask you –

How do you cope with change?

Are you particularly close to your coworkers?

Tell me someone in your life who you feel you have “grown up” with.

(The post Staples in the Fabric of Life first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards

The title of this post is admittedly paraphrased from a radio show host who shared a sweet phrase she saw graffiti’d on a building: “It only takes a second to tell someone something beautiful”. Obviously, the radio host indicated graffiti is vandalism, but it made me wonder why not greeting cards? Why not share inspirational quotes and phrases, lick the envelope, and send it on its way? How much are stamps? Probably less than defacing public property charges.

Did you know commercial greeting cards originated in 1860? Me neither.

The several cards received. (not pictured)

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I ask you –

I doubt many will answer, but have you ever grafitti’d something?

Do you send greeting cards?

Effective 13 July 2025, postage stamp prices will increase to $0.78.

(The post Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pretending

Name that tune.

If I don’t start doing things with my life, I may be forced to research blog topics to keep this one going.

Name something you pretend to like! I really struggled with this question. The two people I asked upon hearing the question were met with resounding answers: a specific person, and their job. Definitely answers.

Even at this moment, I haven’t come up with an answer. I’m loving hearing others’, just haven’t come up with my own.

The photo below is an indicator of what goes on behind closed doors, aka Parts taking a math test. For 4 hours!

Other things –

Spent some time in the dark last week due to a power outage so I ate my standard salad in the fitness center lobby with my feet propped up. Glorious break.

There’s a nearby home with both a for sale sign and a garage sale sign out front. I’ve often wondered what the inside looks like. Bonus points for the continual police presence. Finally got my chance to poke around indoors – beautiful high ceilings, missing carpet, and a borderline hoarding issue. Hopefully someone rich will renovate it with an open-to-the-public invite. Nosy.

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I ask you –

How long have you ever been without power? 23 days. Yes. Really.

Any guesses on Parts’ math test grade? Hint: it wasn’t pretty.

Name something you pretend to like!

(The post Pretending first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What to do now

In my unlimited extra time post-PhD, I’ve included a near daily yoga session into my morning routine. I feel amazing and I’ve almost mastered feet to knees.

Then there’s volleyball up to 3x a week. Sure, we haven’t won a single game but the fun levels of this team I am grateful to coach is unmatched. Off the charts…but not our scores.

I planned a skating party for my 9 year old. She was an infant yesterday. I don’t understand how this is happening. Spare Parts will be a grandma at the end of the summer while I have a 9 yr old. Still makes me laugh.

I’ve been researching adjunct professor positions; there’s a few leads. For now, I’m working through the process of publishing my dissertation to the university and public databases. I’ve also looked into some think tank-type work to impact immigration legislation. Policymaker stuff is my forte.

The comfy corner came together nicely. Mini reads her books there at night while I hoard the space in the early morning hours. My wake up time has only shifted by 30-60 mins yet somehow those precious minutes make all the difference in my rest levels. Most days, I’m a new person!

As time passes, I’m sure it will fill with other responsibilities, requirements, or space takers. No need to hurry.

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I ask you –

After completing something which took a large portion of your time, how did you fill the space?

When did you last plan a birthday party?

Share your wakeup time! 0500

(The post What to do now first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It…What?

This is the story of many unrelated topics with little to no context. Admittedly, I love context. It makes me happy to consider all angles of a single sentence. I like to know things, I like to wonder. But I really like to know the back, front, and sides of the thought process. This time – I’ll let these statements sit without much explanation.

Found this article while perusing other blog posts. I love the Texas border. And I love border communities.

I walked down the street with an empty cup, a glass bowl of salad, and no fork. Frantic about menopause. This is my life. Headed to a book club about a discussion over a book I hadn’t read. Hadn’t even purchased.

How to Job 101. Someone remind me I want to build a training curriculum around this title.

Recognizing our biases has unspoken importance, more powerful than anyone could believe. Which is why I admittedly share mine. Because I’d rather say why or how I’m biased than have someone use it against me. I may be biased but I am fair. And this is undoubtedly the single best compliment I’ve ever received, courtesy of my muse. Because, of course.

Lately, work is like taking a daily sucker punch with no consideration for recovery. I just get there, start swinging, and hope a few connect.

What was the slang these young people once said? I remember. It be like that sometimes.

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I ask you –

How often do you forget the proper utensils for a meal?

Solution to above: just take chopsticks, Kel!

Tell me your favorite, or most loathed, slang. Anything with “bruh”

(The post It…What? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Two Flowers and a Funeral

Not sure why my jonquils haven’t bloomed yet but I’m holding on to hope they will. Those are the neighbors.

Also, these gigantic mushrooms are everywhere. Somehow, even with “good dirt”, I still manage to kill greenery.

Unfortunately, I attended a funeral last week. Short of my inappropriate funeral/death humor, I do have a question – funeral attire is strange to me because why do we dress up to say goodbye? They can’t see us. Why don’t we dress up for them while they’re living instead of waiting until they’re gone? Now, did I dress up because societal norms say I should? Yes. But would I have thought wrongly of someone who came to pay their respects in their work clothes? No. Because we shouldn’t have to look a certain way to show respect.

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I ask you –

Have your jonquils bloomed?

What is your typical funeral attire?

I saw photos of the cherry blossoms blooming in DC and promised myself one day I would go there!

(The post Two Flowers and a Funeral first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)