Into November

All of a sudden, I was no longer waiting. Despite it being a very weird feeling, I’m excited for this step. My manuscript was approved for proposal defense! Granted, it’s not until mid-November but it turns out I’ll be traveling during that time and will defend from a hotel room. Could be worse places. Even with a heavy edit, the first three chapters of my manuscript span 303 pages at nearly 71, 500 words. Thank you, Microsoft Word, for reminding me.

My text to friends and family informing them of this momentous news included all caps. Seemed fitting. Until this post, I have slowly been updating some formatting issues and putting the finishing touches on the presentation. Waiting is somehow better received when there’s a date to look forward to.

I feel as if November will fly by, much like October, even though some weeks took a month to pass. I’d like to start a movement advocating 31 October only be held on Friday or Saturday because trick-or-treating on a Thursday night is awful. The mini gremlin awoke Friday morning confused and slightly feral. Thankfully, next year it will be on a Friday. Surely, I can find something else to complain about. Until then, check out some Halloween shenanigans.

__________________

I ask you –

Do you send texts in all caps?

Will November pass by quickly or slowly?

Name your favorite costume!

(The post Into November first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

When it’s busy

In several years, this is the first time I’ve had a full staff. Every position filled, with both new and seasoned employees keeping me on my toes. Yet, I’m the lucky one. Nearly daily, I marvel at the opportunity to be their leader. Someone believed in me, chose me, to lead them. It’s an honor unlike anything else. We have frank, real, deep conversations. I feel their respect when I explain the why.

Get it together. Some days it feels as if everyone is a psychology major. Words from the DSM (current edition DSM-5-TR) are now buzzwords. For example, imposter syndrome. Never heard of it until recently, now we can’t unhear it. I believe the concept is real; however, using it as an excuse for not stepping up is irritating. Sometimes there is no one more qualified than you, regardless of what your insecurities tell you. Be the leader. Do good things.

A small portion of Team Fitness

Nevertheless, transitioning from employee to mentor to leader is not for the weak. It is a lot of needs to balance! I do my best to share the big picture, the budget constraints, always the why behind decisions, yet some are reluctant to grasp the entire narrative. How many times have I done the same.

Tis the season for a million demands on my time. From a weekend with multiple events to planning upcoming holiday activities, it can be hard to take a deep breath. I don’t know how some people manage to float from one busy weekend to the next. My brain is tired just contemplating what’s on the agenda

______________

I ask you –

How often do you use the term imposter syndrome?

What’s on your calendar?

Advice for the break takers!

(The post When it’s busy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I’m a Forgetter

Long live volleyball! I just wish I didn’t hurt myself so easily. Yes, I own knee pads. Several pairs. But did I remember to bring them and put them on? Clearly not.

My kind doctor said I had 6 months to fix my high cholesterol levels. In his defense, he’s given me 3 yrs thus far. The good stuff is getting better but it’s still overall too high for comfort. I blame my parents. In the meantime, I’ve made some easy switches – less fat, more good stuff. Turns out turkey bacon is really good, and I definitely enjoy balsamic vinegar on my salad. More avocado, less fried stuff. We’ll see what happens. I’m always up for an experiment!

Me: I know it’s Saturday morning at 0500, nearing FY end, so let me check my email and really test these new anxiety meds. My brain: Dondnekndicngmeixnwkffiend🤯. Long story short – now I will worry and feel ill the remainder of the day for forgetting for 4 months! to order something I agreed to.

Volunteers, team of 2

Definitely needed a run to clear my head from that disaster. Later in the day, I saw the victim of my forgetfulness and apologized profusely. She didn’t seem to mind much, which was a big change from my anxious brain telling me to escape. Ugh, such a liar.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you enjoy any healthy alternatives to your favorite foods?

What is your go-to activity to clear your head?

Tell me about forgetting something important!

(The post I’m a Forgetter first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

The Waiting

It’s frustrating when I’ve requested an article or document from a particular author who wants to charge for said document. Granted, I understand their time is money and knowledge; however, the sites I use are reputable and notable academia journals so they must understand students are typically the ones searching for materials here. Yet, I fill out a giant form indicating why and how I need access to said article with often little or zero response. Undoubtedly, countless requests just from me for articles sit in a queue somewhere, forever in a holding pattern. It’s not like I have forgotten; instead, I wait and wait and wait without response.

A few nights ago, my chair and I had a brief conversation, with me mainly insisting I’m attempting to be patient in the waiting for committee response and her insisting all is well. As she’s the expert, I defer to her in nearly every way. But if I had known. I could have made a training plan for a half marathon. I could have done something else with my time. But, life is funny like that. Surely, I needed an unstructured break. Surely.

Parts invited her boss – something I could never do

I also attended a comedy show, titled Moms Unhinged. It started at 7pm, practically the middle of the night, but it was fun and the jokes were great! I’ve watched football. Cowboys, wth. I’ve developed a new outline for a different research interest. Yeah, Kel, that’s exactly what you needed. I’ve begun watching a new television series, Brilliant Minds. Fantastic, btw. I’ve sat on my couch with mini, or read trashy novels for hours on end.

But, at the end of the night, I’m still waiting.

_____________________

I ask you –

How long is too long to wait? Does it depend?

Who is your favorite comedian?

Tell me your bedtime.

(The post The Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Patience, my child

Mini has an opportunity to try out for UIL events and my little heart exploded with pride and memories. Except for chess, I excelled at these events. Storytelling was my breakthrough – shocking, most definitely – into a world of possibilities for competitive scholastic events.

Many years ago I made a keto carrot cheesecake that was sublime. Really. It was incredible. I haven’t baked in a lonnnnnng while and now I have some free time. You know. While I wait. Anyway, I wanted to bring a family dessert to game night, to impress my friends. And that’s where it ended. The photo below doesn’t look too horrible. But the taste? Let’s just say something went awfully wrong with the carrot cake layer on bottom. It was gloopy, gross, and inedible. The cheesecake layer wasn’t bad, had it not been on top of the carrot disaster. Needless to say, I did not take it anywhere except to the garbage can.

As my brain functions in some sort of random, non-linear, jumbled mess, I can appreciate life’s linearity. One would think dissertation work is linear. Oh, but you (I) would be so wrong. I do the things, then wait. I do other things, then wait. My frustrations are apparent as I check and double check my email waiting for a notification of scheduled defense proposal. I complete the IRB documents, then wait. Turns out IRB approval can take up to 2 months. Although I despise speaking this fear into existence, I’m not sure if I’ll begin the research portion this fall. No approvals = no research. I will have spent nearly the entirety of a very expensive semester awaiting approval. Sigh.

Patience is not my strongest virtue.

_________________

I ask you –

What events did you participate in as a young person?

On a scale of 1 to me, how much patience do you have?

Tell me your worst cooking fail!

(The post Patience, my child first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Will I…

…finish writing my book, the one I started circa 2019? Considering a PhD is a nonfiction work of art, the answer remains to be seen.

…purchase my dream car? Maybe when mini graduates high school or I excel at a second job.

…volunteer to be room mom or the parent who channels their creativity to make school parties successful? Ha. Probably never. But I will be the cleanup crew. I can handle that.

…tune in to the upcoming presidential debates, tour stops, and all the related political rhetoric? You know, I really should. I should want to. But I just can’t stand to listen to either of the candidates speak. And my attention span? Yikes. I will instead concede to perusing non-partisan articles.

…what I thought was the beginning of Wk 3 in the review process is actually Wk 0. There was a miscommunication of email proportions and my manuscript wasn’t submitted yet. Alas, I am not a patient person but I guess this means I have more time for football?

_________________

I ask you –

What’s your dream car?

How long is your attention span?

Wk 0 – waiting for manuscript review. Tick tock, tick tock

(The post Will I… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A Tough One to Write

Last week’s September 11th memorials had me considering how it’s hard to believe 23 years have gone by. For the families and loved ones of those lost on that date, 23 years probably feels like yesterday. For mini, who honors the date with school functions, doesn’t have a memory of this event and most likely doesn’t understand the way the world changed that day – it can be difficult to grasp the significance, which got me thinking about the events our young people will remember as they age. For example, a string of recent school shootings. Although I rarely, if ever, speak of political things on RoF, it saddens me these are the memories and perhaps fears of our youth. Someone, somewhere, is remembering today (whatever day you read this) as the day they were rushed out of a school in the wake of some tragic circumstance. Someone, somewhere, is grieving their loved one who lost their life in a place they should have been the safest.

I don’t have the answer. I don’t proclaim to know what we should do to prevent senseless acts of violence. I do know firearm ownership is protected by the Constitution/Amendments. I also know many individuals do not have the mental or physical capability or capacity to competently exhibit those rights. And I absolutely do not wish to debate any of these points.

However, it’s a shame our society is punctuated with tragic, life-taking acts. It’s devastating. We should do better. We should want to do better, especially for our children.

So, today, hug your children, whatever age they are. Call them just to hear their voice. Never has anyone said “I wish I hadn’t held them”.

_________________

I ask you –

No questions today.

(The post A Tough One to Write first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day in Photos, pt 90

I’m purchasing this headwear for use at an upcoming graduation. When I found out an ex-husband and a few old boyfriends would be in attendance, incognito is now the theme.

Credit: Amazon

New office furniture arrived. I’m so thankful for Parts. She loves to put stuff together. Me? Well, let’s just say it’s a disaster.

I love ice cream. Not surprisingly. And I still need to try this flavor!

I’ve waited forever for football! And since I have a little time to watch it – don’t call me, I’ll call you, ummm, never.

Credit: Google

_________________

I ask you –

What should I wear for further incognito-ness? All black? Black with red heels is my standard.

Are you a handy man/handy woman?

Tell me who your NFL team is!

(The post Day in Photos, pt 90 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

We Won!

The sword is ours! As this was our first work day back from vacation, it was definitely as memorable as possible.

And then there was this silliness! I don’t know any other job that encourages you to dress up at Batman complete with mask and cape, then pose with your sword. I love my job! Subsequently, although I don’t yet have the photo to prove it, I won the installation quarterly award where I proudly hoisted the sword in victory.

Truly, the victory belongs to my fitness team. I couldn’t do any of this without them. Indeed, they make me look good because, on my own, I don’t hold a candle (or a sword) to them. They make my job worth it.

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I ask you –

How difficult is it for you when returning from vacation?

Can regular people be knighted?

Tell me about your most awesome award!

(The post We Won! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Strength in Waiting

“We rise in the wait, not the arrival.” Waiting is not everyone’s (maybe anyone’s) strong suit. Never have I heard a eulogy or a bio or an introduction which said “So-and-so excels/excelled at waiting!”

According to mini, waiting is hard. An unnecessary endeavor, if you will. Absolutely pointless. In many ways, I understand. We live in an instant gratification society, where nearly every want or desire is available at our fingertips, literally and figuratively. As I say it, this is an instant potatoes world. But how often does waiting truly bring us valued joy? Let me count the ways. In other words, innumerable times. And we’re stronger because of it.

Side note. I’ve always considered cereal for dinner an exotic meal. Crazy, right? I think it’s because a) I don’t eat cereal and b) don’t drink milk. Therefore, it’s always been out of the realm of my ability to experience it.

27 July – 3 August

I know I already posted a July recap but what’s the rules on posting when a month runs into another? Run, run, get it get it. Posting for posterity, of course! That’s a lot of action for a vacation!

Wk 13: additional 45 pages

You know what I wasn’t waiting on this week? This manuscript to write itself. 45 pages! 45! Sure, I didn’t run as much as I’d have liked to but I did create tables, graphs, figures, and somehow overcame my limited knowledge of Excel to beautify a bunch of numbers into APA-worthy additions to the current 279 pages.

_________________

I ask you –

How much exercise do you get when away from home? More? Less? Depends.

I should have a second question here but I do not.

Rate your level of patience for waiting. On a good day, 1.

(The post Strength in Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)