It would be so easy to say forget it when the plan doesn’t go…como se dice?…how it was planned. I succumbed to the pressures of hitting my step goal every day of the new year. Do more! So on a particularly ugly day, when the PMS was raging, and the memo to leave me alone wasn’t received, I didn’t make it. I could have. I could have made more time, made a better effort, not let my calendar dictate my day. Blah blah blah. But I didn’t. I let it slip. Step goal: not met.
The next day, I increased my resolve and jumped right back in. In a month, or a year, I won’t remember the reason I had to start over. I will notice how I hit the goal the very next day.
I also signed up for another drum workshop, my second. Christmas was particularly kind, with the inclusion of a new drum set! The Bible speaks of a joyful noise. I took the liberty of focusing singularly on the noise part. A few more months of lessons and I will begin my traveling tour. I jest. Or do I??!
Noise maker!
Other completed plans – my 3rd or 4th cycle of Big 5. Five benchmark exercises: the standard chest press, squat, deadlift, row, and overhead press. Since October, I’ve increased my 1-rep max, significantly by my own standards. Don’t get too excited, I am nowhere near any kind of competitive or award winning shape. However, the improvement to my running is immeasurable!
Joyful noise is really the sound of footsteps on the pavement, in 40°.
The photo is evidence of the only thing that went right. Everything else? Far far far far left. Fortunately, there was no crying. Only a general disdain for life, a dazed and confused expression, and an overall shell-shocked me. What’s new?
First, the adult and youth helper (a parent/child team) slept in due to scheduling confusion. Then, the A/V system took the day off. Lastly, 3 new youth joined us. Under typical circumstances, none of these things would have been a big deal. Combined? Chaos. Absolutely nuts. No helpers, no technology. Just me. Fighting for my life.
I had to give myself a pep talk. From down deep, I remembered the years I led a rotating group of “mid-girls” during my work with abused and neglected children. They desperately needed structure and consistency, and it was mine to freely give. Not much difference when leading the short disciples.
Mini stepped up her game, too. She took charge, wrangled the computer into submission, and supported me, no questions asked. Her leadership skills are better than most adults. Apple. Tree. I think she’s ready for the big time! Whatever that is. I was definitely not ready!
We survived. But it was rough. More rough than the crying origami scenario. And, at the time, I thought it couldn’t get worse.
‘Til next week.
—————————-
I ask you –
Have you ever had an experience where you were waiting on someone to help you and they never showed? Tell me about it!
Recognizing we’re already into 2026 and the numbers post was already published, I still feel as if there is more to say about 2025.
my thinking face
More Lessons
I allowed people to disrupt my life when I should have never given them the time of day. Lesson: less allowance.
I succumbed to bad moods made possible by others who have no control over my emotions. Lesson: own my day.
I negated my reach by questioning simple responses. Lesson: commit to the answer.
It’s in the Ask
Countless instances exist of asking someone to help and then they accept. It’s not rocket science. Yet we are so quick to assume/presume/outright believe without evidence that no one wants to help or be part of a task/duty/event. How do you know if you do not ask? I use this line all the time. And what’s the worst that could happen? They say no!? Show me where it isn’t worth your time and effort just to ask.
I make it a point to ask what the end game, end goal, desired outcome, or expectation is during most conversations where I know there is a decision to be made. Trust me, it alleviates any confusion. Just tell me what you want!
_____________________
I ask you –
Did you learn any lessons in 2025?
(The post Addendumfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Once again solo because mini decided to have 2nd/3rd/4th Christmas with family. Who can blame her.
First, a win. My short disciples asked if I could be with them every weekend. I declined.
Then, a huge fail. During the craft section of our lesson, a seemingly simple 3 minute video resulted in tears and frustration. Apparently, origami is not for the faint of heart. Or fingers. The instructions were simple: transform a 5×5 paper into a shield. I wanted a sword. My adult helper not only understood the instructions but deftly moved her hands across the paper until a shield was born from the ashes. Tada! Me? Well, I got about halfway then repeatedly asked for a replay of the sequence 3x until they gave up on me. No shield for me. My littlest charge’s eyes began to leak. I silently pleaded with the adult helper to make another shield as quickly as possible, which she produced with little fanfare, stopping the tears in their tracks. But not before we requested tissue to dry them.
The morning ended with treasure box and skittles. Crisis averted. No more origami. Ever.
As for running –
Some time ago, Brooks created this awesome idea called park run. Cities adopted it, finding locations to host a Saturday morning 5k. It became a thing. There are challenges, such as running a park run in every state, running the same course with the exact same time 2x, etc. Some of the challenges are silly, others are difficult. Lucky for me, my community adopted it. I registered immediately, then proceeded to never attend for more than a year. PhD life.
Finally, right before the end of 2025, I attended the final run of the year. Hooked! Great course, no frills, no water stops, less than 75 people, minimal hills. It was awesome!
New Year’s Day 2026, I ran the first park run of the year. Another amazing run! And faster than my previous run.
I’m incredibly grateful I stay in 5k shape year-round. Although I love hearing how others are beginning couch to 5k plans or getting restarted with a running routine, the last few years have not been great for my 365 day conditioning. From knee to feet to hip, it has been tough to stay healthy for more than a few months. In 2025, I was out for the first 3 months. Same in 2024. 2026? If the first run was any indication, this is my year.
No plans on the horizon. I think my half marathon ship has sailed. I ran 10! I once thought I wanted to run a marathon, but heavy mileage breaks down my body so quickly. Right now, I’m happy with my 2-a-day workouts (run+strength). I have been focusing on 1-rep max workouts which is fun! We’ll see what happens…
I cannot believe this is the final post of 2025. Absolutely insane. I’m reminded of this time last year, when I knew I would soon begin the research data portion of my PhD, both excited and terrified. What a ride. 2025 was amazing.
The word of the year was anew. Truly I encountered several new experiences and I feel I emerged anew. 2026’s word of the year is arise. Arise to age 40, arise to whatever calling I’m compelled to try, arise mentally and physically. Arise.
Rack & Stack
# of miles run – 321.1 (not bad considering I was injured Jan-early Mar)
# of average miles run – 6.21/week (post-recovery miles, too)
# of hours spent working out – 7 hrs, 48 mins/month (proud of this one!)
# of tries to complete a PhD – 1 (one and only 1!)
# of mental health appointments – 17 (some months were tough and required extra attention)
# of hours spent playing volleyball – 24 hrs, 35 mins (is this excessive?)
# of Team of the Quarter awards – 2 (that’s 50%!)
Final Thoughts
I make light of most situations, but 2025 was difficult. I’m incredibly blessed to be called Dr. However, it wasn’t an easy win. I was honored to be part of leading a winning team. Yet I struggled with my own feelings surrounding what I mistakenly thought was not good enough. I’ve learned some new tricks and I’ve tried to dismiss the outdated ones. All in all, twas a great year because I can say it is over and because a new one has arrived.
As have I. Arise.
_____________________
I ask you –
What is your word of the new year? Or resolution if you enjoy this?
(The post 2025 in Numbersfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Ability to remember the names of your friend’s best friend.
For example, Vivian, Carissa, Krystal. It took no time at all for me to think of a friend’s name then instantly remember their best friend’s name. Yet I can’t remember anything else without writing it down. Perhaps I just have short term memory issues. I blame perimenopause.
Overuse of the phrase “It’s fine” causes psychological minimization.
Admittedly, I did no research for scientific backing. This is anecdotal evidence. For women especially, the seemingly constant reliance on labeling a distressful situation, event, or person as “fine” is not fine at all. We are rewiring our brains to accept mediocrity or, worse, harmful behaviors. With every “it’s fine”, a boundary is blurred, a neuron rerouted to perceived safety, and a not fine situation cemented into our hearts. No more. Stop saying it’s fine when it isn’t. Protect your boundaries, your opinions, your feelings, and your peace.
This is more real than not.
Puzzling retains memory connections and builds coordination.
More anecdotal evidence. I’m not certain of its origins but I do recall my mother and grandparents nearly always having a puzzle at the ready. As a child, I thought it was boring, especially when there was this fabulous invention called the television! Who would want to mindlessly search for the top of a brown hat when you could mindlessly scroll through all 6 channels?! Priorities, I guess. Needless to say, so let me say it anyway, I’m a puzzle convert. I think older people are on to something.
_____________________
I ask you –
Of the three phenomenon listed, which is most likely to be considered real?
Mini joined me for a rousing room of 3 other participants, complete with a broken thermostat and much running.
An attempt to tame my curls came in the form of these little dinglehoppers, otherwise known as French horns. Ahem, French pins. And a partridge in a pear tree. Or the garbage can, which is where one went after I broke it. It lasted only a few hours in my hair. RIP, French horn. Also, the tutorial exploited its ease of use. It was not.
I was honored to be selected as a judge for lodging’s gingerbread house competition! When I asked for a taste test, I almost lost my judging rights. Next time.
Another week of leave is on the horizon. Ahem, now. There will be no gingerbread house creation. Instead, upwards of 75 degrees is forecasted. I have no doubt the winter weather will come soon though. Merry Christmas Eve!
_____________________
I ask you –
Have you ever eaten a gingerbread house post-decoration?
I didn’t know how necessary it was to take a real break from work. Sure, supervising 20+ staff members is no walk in the park, but I believed I was handling it well.
Until the government shutdown when every person relied on me alone to do it. I’m not upset nor angry. I knew I had to do it and I tried to without complaint because we were all in the trenches together. It sucked but we escaped unscathed. But I knew I needed some time off.
Until I experienced 7 days without my phone ringing, without the group chat dinging any time of the day or night, and zero work-related incidents. I didn’t know how much I needed to rest.
We preach rest, especially in the confines of mental and physical health. Yet the overall toll of no rest on a person’s well-being is immeasurable. I just did not understand. It recently came to my attention I haven’t had an uninterrupted week off work in more than 3 years. During vacation, I’ve always had my laptop and have done work while on leave, either in response to phone calls or out of a misguided need to control the outcome. But it was controlling me.
1,000 piece Elf puzzle, + glitter
Upon return to the workplace, my coworker decided to a) suggest doing a pizzle together, b) leave early that day, which meant I had to sort the puzzle alone, and c) find something else to do every single day so the grand total of days we’ve puzzled together is zero.
Figures.
_____________________
I ask you –
What are your thoughts on needing a break from just having a break?
My kid’s life partner, ahem, mini, ditched me in favor of sleeping in so I had to survive alone.
looking for minimaking do
Good thing there were only 6 young people and I was somewhat familiar with the Hebrew language so as not to wildly mispronounce every word. A few, but not all of them.
The Big Reveal
Our home has succumbed to the pressure. We will forever live the holidays in the shadow of an elf. Yes, that elf. I have been content watching other homes overtaken with mischief and shenanigans and found myself thankful to be spared. Until now…
Introducing Tyna Tynsel. She’s a jolly ol’ gal with her vest and ear muffs. She rode in on an skateboard, tossed a letter from Santa (Bossy, as she calls him) to the side and declared her reign over our home. I hope she remembers to leave. I’m excited and fearful for the month. Maybe I can make friends with her to limit the destruction.
Perhaps she likes wine.
Or perhaps I’ll need wine to deal with her destruction. Standby.
_____________________
I ask you –
What brand of trouble do you think Tyna will get into?
I found this stupid funny meme that said something along the lines of an airline PA system asking for a doctor to help someone write a 500-word abstract in less than 5 minutes, ending with…finally, I’m the doctor they need! Paraphrasing obviously. The meme disappeared before I could screen grab it so now you’re stuck with my pathetic recall. But you get the idea!
In all seriousness, this is a tough time. I’ve been officially furloughed but with excepted service for 31 days at the time of this writing (more by the time you read this). This means I go to work everyday for no immediate pay. Sure, I’ll get back pay when it’s all said and done but my immediate needs are burdensome – things like buying groceries and putting gas in my car. More than me, I lead a team of 7 excepted employees and 9 furloughed employees who are feeling the immediate pain of this situation. They work for hourly pay and may not have a savings account to rely on. They have families to feed. They need gas to fill their vehicles to drive to the job that isn’t paying them.
I think the most common misconception is overlooking the government shutdown as something where people may think ‘I don’t know anyone affected by it.’ You know me. And I know hundreds of others who are affected. These people are my team, my friends, my coworkers.
I work in fitness which, if anyone stays updated, has taken a front row seat to nearly all other updates, changes, and restructuring in the military. This means we are more important than ever in creating, building, and sustaining a “fit to fight” military workforce. I’m not personally opposed to the changes in the standards as I have nearly always understood why a fit military is imperative to success. It’s also imperative to a healthy, long life with your family and friends. This may sound callous but please hear my heart when I ask how many overweight people have you met who lived past 70? Do your own research. Maybe you don’t care to live past 70, but I guarantee there’s someone in your life who does.
The fitness background I’ve mentioned gives you context to why excepted service is important even during a government shutdown. The military continue to serve, paycheck or not. Therefore, my team must be available to serve them. It’s more than opening the doors to a building each day. It is ensuring they have the testing supplies available, can continue to self-improve, and, some would say equally important, building morale.
You see, fitness isn’t just working out. For some, it is therapy. For some, it is the only thing between depression and suicide. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but I can assure you it is not. The benefits of exercise surpass nearly every known disease and have the power to reverse it. True story. So for anyone doubting the importance of fitness in today, tomorrow, and next year’s world, there is statistical evidence of its importance.
The U.S. needs people who do the work I do. It needs people who do the work my team does. I am no one without them. And they deserve paychecks to support the military and their own families. The next time you vote, the next time you consider who the shutdown affects, please think of me. Please think of the single mom who shows up everyday at 0445 to help others improve their fitness levels so they can be fit to fight. Today, the only fight I want to have is the one where every employee is paid to do the job they took an oath to obtain. These federal employees did. I did. But somehow it feels forgotten.
________________
I ask you –
Did you know over 300,000 federal employees are working without a paycheck during this government shutdown?
Do you know who is still receiving a check? Be informed.
Running on Fumes 
You must be logged in to post a comment.