Not our usual background, but we both love this color so much!
In a turn of events, the adult helper I’m usually paired with has decided she can’t stand me and has resigned from her position. It’s not you, it’s me. Kidding. Halfway. She has resigned, but assured me it was not my fault. Like all nice people would say. So it was just me, solo, alone, in the midst of wild children, again. Somehow we all survived because, if you will recall, serving solo has become a pattern.
To think people trust me with their children is surprising yet not. I worked with kids for a long time, and aren’t adults just oversized children anyway? Do you know what is difficult? Getting hired as an adjunct professor! Countless submissions, hours of searching – still nothing. Not a single hit. I’m not sure what the hiring committees are looking for, but I don’t have it (or I don’t know how to market it). I really underestimated the challenges of applying to teach.
Meanwhile, I’m keeping upwards of 13 young people alive, well, and engaged. Shouldn’t this count for something?
I love this question, especially when it’s posed to adults at any stage in their life. A simple reminder not to take life too seriously. You can start again! And again! And again! It reminds me of a meme I cannot find at the moment where an adult says ‘no one asked me how fast I can run in my new shoes. This is BS! (baloney sandwich)’.
Side note. In my house, we say baloney sandwich for the (obviously) BS. Mini always replies with affirmation that she knows what it really means. At this point, I just say it for my own affirmation of her innocence. Denial, anyone?
Focus, Kel.
The hilarity of mentioning growing up to an adult has many giggle-worthy images. You can fill in your own blank.
Side bar. How to not make friends.
Step 1. Trauma-dump your life story within the first 2 encounters. Step 2. See step 1.
Just don’t! Also, don’t invade my personal space. Don’t capture my phone number from a well-meaning person. And, don’t invite me to meet your friends. I am sure they are lovely people, but if this is how you also met them…I have reservations.
I really need to work with mini on not blowing my cover. She’s the worst. Loudly, “hey mom, why are you avoiding them?!” Me: “Shhhhh!”
_____________________
I ask you –
What steps should others not take to become your friend?
As we roll (ahem, slide) into another snow day, is this day 2 or 3?, I confront my own anxiety and fear. I have wished it away. I have sought spiritual intervention. I have pretended it does not exist. But, there is not enough anxiety medication at the nearest pharmacy to get me into a moving vehicle and out on ice/snow-covered roads. Alas, I stay at home, in the safety of my four walls. ‘Tis rather nice here and I’m still productive.
Besides, snow days are meant to keep people off the roads so safety and emergency personnel can do their job. I am supporting their mission! But I can’t help it. 6 days at home is a bit much.
On day 4, we considered unfolding the treadmill. Quickly vetoed, instead I paced the house for approximately 11,000 steps. On day 5, I forgoe’d the pacing, resolving to complete an actual workout the next day AND…dun dun dunnnnnn…go outside!
2 miles outside, dodging the slippery spots, was glorious! I didn’t want to come back inside. But there’s where the coffee lives.
Day 5, I completed a workout with mini. As in, she actually did the entire workout with me. Zero complaining. She tried very hard, she amazed me!
photo, at her request
Overall productivity: I cleaned up 7,914 old emails, I deleted all 11 voicemails, and I organized my teams folders. Now I can’t find anything.
Did I “enjoy” the long, long unexpected time “off”? Yes. Do I wish to do this again anytime soon? Not so much.
________________________
I ask you –
What was the most amount of time you’ve been home due to weather?
Although I intended to complete a workout every single day of January, meh. Life happened. P.S. I’m not sure why the graphic says February 2026, when it hasn’t arrived yet. Weird.
screenshot via Strava
Interestingly, the screenshot was correct but not when I use the share button. How odd.
Anyway, now I’ve forgotten the point of this post.
Ok, I’m back.
As 1 March draws near, the grumblings surrounding the Air Force’s updated PT standards resound louder. I’ve heard of every reason why a 2-mile run is simply impossible, including the Body Comp updates, the inclusion of the InBody, etc. This is a sampling of my favorite reasons why a service member believes they will fail –
I’m big boned. Wrong, sir. We all have the same size bones.
I’m a body builder. I can’t run. You can run, but just like you trained to lift heavier weights, you must train aerobic capacity, too.
My job is admin. Why do I need to run anyway? There are many scientific principles regarding cardio and how it trains your body to do other hard things, personally and professionally.
Typically, I answer with my own question – How many overweight people are 80+ years old? Or 70 years old? Or gasp 60? Where and how much weight you carry is directly proportional to longevity.
I don’t know about you but I want to live to see mini graduate as many stages as she desires. I want to meet my grandchildren, and maybe great-grandchildren. I want to run when I’m 60, 70, 80 years old. I want to bend over and tie my own shoes. I want to balance on one leg. I want to outlive the naysayers.
For those who state “We’re all gonna die anyway”, well, good luck. Discipline is hard. But loss is harder. Portion control is hard. But burying a loved one at 50 years old due to heart disease is harder. Exercise is hard. But raising your right hand to defend your country is harder.
Personally, I’m glad the bar is being raised. I’m glad fitness returns to the forefront of military standards. I’m glad decision makers have opened their eyes to the necessity of the 2-mile run and strict body comp measurements. Are there flaws? Absolutely! But will this force the 1% to a) make better decisions regarding their health or b) find a different career field outside of serve and protect?
You know the answer.
________________________
I ask you –
As an outsider, or insider, what are your thoughts on tightening the belt loops of the Air Force’s “fit to fight” culture?
It would be so easy to say forget it when the plan doesn’t go…como se dice?…how it was planned. I succumbed to the pressures of hitting my step goal every day of the new year. Do more! So on a particularly ugly day, when the PMS was raging, and the memo to leave me alone wasn’t received, I didn’t make it. I could have. I could have made more time, made a better effort, not let my calendar dictate my day. Blah blah blah. But I didn’t. I let it slip. Step goal: not met.
The next day, I increased my resolve and jumped right back in. In a month, or a year, I won’t remember the reason I had to start over. I will notice how I hit the goal the very next day.
I also signed up for another drum workshop, my second. Christmas was particularly kind, with the inclusion of a new drum set! The Bible speaks of a joyful noise. I took the liberty of focusing singularly on the noise part. A few more months of lessons and I will begin my traveling tour. I jest. Or do I??!
Noise maker!
Other completed plans – my 3rd or 4th cycle of Big 5. Five benchmark exercises: the standard chest press, squat, deadlift, row, and overhead press. Since October, I’ve increased my 1-rep max, significantly by my own standards. Don’t get too excited, I am nowhere near any kind of competitive or award winning shape. However, the improvement to my running is immeasurable!
Joyful noise is really the sound of footsteps on the pavement, in 40°.
The photo is evidence of the only thing that went right. Everything else? Far far far far left. Fortunately, there was no crying. Only a general disdain for life, a dazed and confused expression, and an overall shell-shocked me. What’s new?
First, the adult and youth helper (a parent/child team) slept in due to scheduling confusion. Then, the A/V system took the day off. Lastly, 3 new youth joined us. Under typical circumstances, none of these things would have been a big deal. Combined? Chaos. Absolutely nuts. No helpers, no technology. Just me. Fighting for my life.
I had to give myself a pep talk. From down deep, I remembered the years I led a rotating group of “mid-girls” during my work with abused and neglected children. They desperately needed structure and consistency, and it was mine to freely give. Not much difference when leading the short disciples.
Mini stepped up her game, too. She took charge, wrangled the computer into submission, and supported me, no questions asked. Her leadership skills are better than most adults. Apple. Tree. I think she’s ready for the big time! Whatever that is. I was definitely not ready!
We survived. But it was rough. More rough than the crying origami scenario. And, at the time, I thought it couldn’t get worse.
‘Til next week.
—————————-
I ask you –
Have you ever had an experience where you were waiting on someone to help you and they never showed? Tell me about it!
Recognizing we’re already into 2026 and the numbers post was already published, I still feel as if there is more to say about 2025.
my thinking face
More Lessons
I allowed people to disrupt my life when I should have never given them the time of day. Lesson: less allowance.
I succumbed to bad moods made possible by others who have no control over my emotions. Lesson: own my day.
I negated my reach by questioning simple responses. Lesson: commit to the answer.
It’s in the Ask
Countless instances exist of asking someone to help and then they accept. It’s not rocket science. Yet we are so quick to assume/presume/outright believe without evidence that no one wants to help or be part of a task/duty/event. How do you know if you do not ask? I use this line all the time. And what’s the worst that could happen? They say no!? Show me where it isn’t worth your time and effort just to ask.
I make it a point to ask what the end game, end goal, desired outcome, or expectation is during most conversations where I know there is a decision to be made. Trust me, it alleviates any confusion. Just tell me what you want!
_____________________
I ask you –
Did you learn any lessons in 2025?
(The post Addendumfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Once again solo because mini decided to have 2nd/3rd/4th Christmas with family. Who can blame her.
First, a win. My short disciples asked if I could be with them every weekend. I declined.
Then, a huge fail. During the craft section of our lesson, a seemingly simple 3 minute video resulted in tears and frustration. Apparently, origami is not for the faint of heart. Or fingers. The instructions were simple: transform a 5×5 paper into a shield. I wanted a sword. My adult helper not only understood the instructions but deftly moved her hands across the paper until a shield was born from the ashes. Tada! Me? Well, I got about halfway then repeatedly asked for a replay of the sequence 3x until they gave up on me. No shield for me. My littlest charge’s eyes began to leak. I silently pleaded with the adult helper to make another shield as quickly as possible, which she produced with little fanfare, stopping the tears in their tracks. But not before we requested tissue to dry them.
The morning ended with treasure box and skittles. Crisis averted. No more origami. Ever.
As for running –
Some time ago, Brooks created this awesome idea called park run. Cities adopted it, finding locations to host a Saturday morning 5k. It became a thing. There are challenges, such as running a park run in every state, running the same course with the exact same time 2x, etc. Some of the challenges are silly, others are difficult. Lucky for me, my community adopted it. I registered immediately, then proceeded to never attend for more than a year. PhD life.
Finally, right before the end of 2025, I attended the final run of the year. Hooked! Great course, no frills, no water stops, less than 75 people, minimal hills. It was awesome!
New Year’s Day 2026, I ran the first park run of the year. Another amazing run! And faster than my previous run.
I’m incredibly grateful I stay in 5k shape year-round. Although I love hearing how others are beginning couch to 5k plans or getting restarted with a running routine, the last few years have not been great for my 365 day conditioning. From knee to feet to hip, it has been tough to stay healthy for more than a few months. In 2025, I was out for the first 3 months. Same in 2024. 2026? If the first run was any indication, this is my year.
No plans on the horizon. I think my half marathon ship has sailed. I ran 10! I once thought I wanted to run a marathon, but heavy mileage breaks down my body so quickly. Right now, I’m happy with my 2-a-day workouts (run+strength). I have been focusing on 1-rep max workouts which is fun! We’ll see what happens…
I cannot believe this is the final post of 2025. Absolutely insane. I’m reminded of this time last year, when I knew I would soon begin the research data portion of my PhD, both excited and terrified. What a ride. 2025 was amazing.
The word of the year was anew. Truly I encountered several new experiences and I feel I emerged anew. 2026’s word of the year is arise. Arise to age 40, arise to whatever calling I’m compelled to try, arise mentally and physically. Arise.
Rack & Stack
# of miles run – 321.1 (not bad considering I was injured Jan-early Mar)
# of average miles run – 6.21/week (post-recovery miles, too)
# of hours spent working out – 7 hrs, 48 mins/month (proud of this one!)
# of tries to complete a PhD – 1 (one and only 1!)
# of mental health appointments – 17 (some months were tough and required extra attention)
# of hours spent playing volleyball – 24 hrs, 35 mins (is this excessive?)
# of Team of the Quarter awards – 2 (that’s 50%!)
Final Thoughts
I make light of most situations, but 2025 was difficult. I’m incredibly blessed to be called Dr. However, it wasn’t an easy win. I was honored to be part of leading a winning team. Yet I struggled with my own feelings surrounding what I mistakenly thought was not good enough. I’ve learned some new tricks and I’ve tried to dismiss the outdated ones. All in all, twas a great year because I can say it is over and because a new one has arrived.
As have I. Arise.
_____________________
I ask you –
What is your word of the new year? Or resolution if you enjoy this?
(The post 2025 in Numbersfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Ability to remember the names of your friend’s best friend.
For example, Vivian, Carissa, Krystal. It took no time at all for me to think of a friend’s name then instantly remember their best friend’s name. Yet I can’t remember anything else without writing it down. Perhaps I just have short term memory issues. I blame perimenopause.
Overuse of the phrase “It’s fine” causes psychological minimization.
Admittedly, I did no research for scientific backing. This is anecdotal evidence. For women especially, the seemingly constant reliance on labeling a distressful situation, event, or person as “fine” is not fine at all. We are rewiring our brains to accept mediocrity or, worse, harmful behaviors. With every “it’s fine”, a boundary is blurred, a neuron rerouted to perceived safety, and a not fine situation cemented into our hearts. No more. Stop saying it’s fine when it isn’t. Protect your boundaries, your opinions, your feelings, and your peace.
This is more real than not.
Puzzling retains memory connections and builds coordination.
More anecdotal evidence. I’m not certain of its origins but I do recall my mother and grandparents nearly always having a puzzle at the ready. As a child, I thought it was boring, especially when there was this fabulous invention called the television! Who would want to mindlessly search for the top of a brown hat when you could mindlessly scroll through all 6 channels?! Priorities, I guess. Needless to say, so let me say it anyway, I’m a puzzle convert. I think older people are on to something.
_____________________
I ask you –
Of the three phenomenon listed, which is most likely to be considered real?
Running on Fumes 
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