It’s really happening –

It’s been a whirlwind since I posted last Wednesday.

First, my dissertation defense is scheduled for 19 March. The date is about 45 days sooner than expected. I need to get busy finding a top hat. It’s actually happening.

Next, I couldn’t find this candy anywhere. Originally, I purchased it at TJ Maxx or equivalent store…Ross, etc. The label was dark so I don’t really know. I looked everywhere. Then, I found it at Target. Online. If you want to order said candy, you must purchase at least $35 of merchandise. So instead of spending $35 on candy + other items, I spent nearly $60 on all candy made by this brand. Good purchase? I don’t know but now I have a lot of candy!

Then, this happened. Gummies. I’m uncertain how many years it’s been since I deleted the game (nearly 3?). I know it’s a waste of time but I gave myself stipulations for playing. For example, if I want to play during the day, then I must be walking. So now I take a few extra walks. For exercise purposes, of course.

___________________

I ask you –

Have you ever restarted a game?

What’s your favorite candy?

Wish me luck this week!

(The post It’s really happening – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day in Photos, pt 14

“Self-discipline: the art of investing today’s actions for tomorrow’s results. Making yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you would like to have.” – The Traveler’s Summit (a fantastic book, highly recommend)

Waiting patiently for the jonquils to bloom. Typically they are in full glory around my birthday so just a few more weeks! It’s cherry blossom time in the Eastern part of the U.S. As they’re my favorite, I find them notable to include here.

A sweet gift from my beautiful friend! We haven’t met in awhile but as soon as the weather turned favorable we were outside walking…which prompted a partnership and more opportunities to walk and talk!

________________

I ask you –

Do you have a favorite flower?

When did you last pamper yourself?

Thoughts on the walk and talk method of meetings.

(The post Day in Photos, pt 14 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I am Batman!

Courtesy of the 82 TRW, I have officially accepted the title as Batman, complete with Thor hammer. Don’t start with me.

Some may know the story of my short stint with parasomnia, a stress-induced condition where the sufferee (me) uses mobile technology while sleeping. Specifically, I text an entire class of people “I am Batman”! Then, I suppose I promptly deleted the text but it was too late because said class shared the messages with me the next day. High stress + delusional ideals = Batman

Anyway, 2024 was a helluva year. 82 TRW Civ Category II, Supervisor of the Year and AETC Civ Category II, Supervisor of the Year. I told leadership I was taking a break in 2025, which I believe I’ve mentioned here before.

Truly a testament to an incredible team of people who support and work alongside me. I can’t do this alone. Kudos to them, they’re the real winners.

(The post I am Batman! Up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Whirlwind

I graduated to this –

The same day as this –

blowing snow, approx 18°

Short story: my knee is getting better. Much less pain, less frequently. I did “accidentally” test out my running inability when a staff member at work exploded into my office, saying “Kelly, there’s smoke up front. And water!” No time for questions. As I sprinted to the front desk, my knee reminded me it’s not ready for running. I sort of jump-hopped the remainder of the way. Spoiler: hot water was pouring out the front door from a heat pump thingy. It was below freezing for several days so this is common. Anyway, we cleaned up gallons of steaming water and I rested my knee.

Tis me. Credit: via IG

As I had already exhausted the traditional number of physical therapy appointments – turns out that number is 5 – then I was scheduled for some additional appointments and a referral to an orthopedic surgeon/practitioner. something about a different type of brace

On day 21, I submitted the final draft of my manuscript to the PhD gods who will hopefully provide feedback in the next 30 days, granting me just enough time to make the updates and resubmit to defend prior to 9 May. To pass the time, I’m making plans to convert my writing desk into a reading nook, determine how many activities I can plan during the summer, and actually reclaiming some time to get outside. Mark my words, I’ll be stir crazy in less than 32 hours. More coffee, please.

__________________

I ask you –

Any elliptical advice?

What’s the weather been like for you?

Tell me what silly word describes you best.

(The post Whirlwind first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Call Sign STUMPER, the finale

I refuse to politicize this post. However, I will say the firing of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who is mentioned below, is a grave mistake. Democracy isn’t a popularity contest. I believe when someone works hard, takes care of others, and doesn’t allow politics to cloud their judgment, then they are worthy of the position appointed to them. The good ole’ boys club should be dead and gone. Instead, it continues to play out in a bunch of old white men who think they know best. I said it. And I’ll say it again for the ones in the back.

Previous post (original published in 2022) recaptured –

Allow me to share a story – it’s a long one. Have a seat.

In my (military, civilian, non-profit, etc) career(s), I haven’t had an opportunity to speak with anyone at the federal, national, even state level, to my knowledge. So when presented with such opportunity, I nicely jumped all over it. Some parts of this event were volun-told, but others were sheer chance alone. During a recent visit from the United States Air Force Chief of Staff, Gen CQ Brown, Jr., as hundreds of people crowded into an auditorium, I took my place about 5 rows from the front. Again, when would a visit from this official ever happen again? We were presented typical pre-speech information: don’t take selfies, turn your phone off, and (my favorite) here’s how to ask a question at the end. My friends and I made small talk, ahem, jokes. I regaled them with the story about the time I sang in front of the installation commander. Them: You can sing?! Me: Hahahaha no.

On time as always the General arrived. He is a wonderful speaker, a seemingly humble individual, and a strong leader. His slides were short and his humor spot on. In many ways, he reminded me of my current squadron commander. I truly hope one day he, too, will grace stages with an entourage of security detail and big picture awareness. Approximately 30 mins later, the big QA session began. My hand went up before the words were out of the moderator’s mouth. I stood, politely introduced myself, and asked the following question: “Sir, as you have a high impact, high visibility position, what perception do you think we, as civilians and Airmen, get wrong about what you do?” Silence. Deafening silence. Suddenly I became the recipient of wild looks and laughter. The General began to pace the stage in silence. Finally, he answered. His answer was a well-rounded approach to being a father, husband, and son. He struggles with the same things we do. He worries about his children, now adults themselves. He sits around at night and can’t believe he gets to do what he does. I thanked him for his time so others could ask their questions.

Fast forward to my office later – a conversation ensued between the Senior Leader and my supervisor. Cue the laughing. Unbeknownst to me, jokes of stumping the General were made on the surrey as he departed. I can only imagine my commander’s face. Kel, you need to stop speaking.

And that’s how I became known as STUMPER.

___________________________________

I ask you –

Thoughts on the call sign?

Have you ever been laughed at?

Share your wild stories!

(The post Call Sign STUMPER, the finale first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Traveling

I’ve been on the road more than home the past several weeks. Is that a song? Needless to say, but I’m saying it anyway, I drank a lot of coffee. Soon, I’ll share where each of these locations are, but, for now, here’s a collage:

More to come!

_______________

I ask you –

Share your thoughts about anything!

(The post Traveling first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Because…I am.

Recently, someone asked why do you want to look different than the people you work with, presumably because of what I wear to work. I said it’s not because I want to, it’s because I need to. You see, when it comes time to stand up for my team, they deserve a leader who will do just that – stand up. It’s a privilege to be their leader and I never want anyone to question my loyalty to them. One of my first days on the fitness job, I was approached with the words “You look like you’re in charge”. My reply: I am. I want to look like a leader because…I am. I want to stand in front of, beside, and behind my employees because…I do. More than any of these; however, is I want my team to see me do it because…I have. And I will. And I will continue to do so. When my team wins, we all win. In 2024, we did big things. Even just a few weeks into 2025, we’re doing bigger things.

a few of many

The glass ceiling still exists. Oh it does. Even in the military (and I doubt it’s only the military) women still struggle obtaining top positions. Not to say it’s impossible – it’s absolutely not and has been proven time and again – but it’s a struggle. I never want to be a leader who was chosen because I was the “best of the worst”. Because I can name a dozen who were. I want to be chosen because I’m the best at what I do. Thus far, I believe that has happened. But I don’t want to become complicit to positional power, easily stripped with removal of a title. Sure, other people rely on me, but it is not that single reason which makes me a leader.

No, this post is not a whoohoo look at me and all the great things I’m doing. I don’t need a pat on the back. My only goal is to empower someone else to do the same, step up, be the leader you’re called to be. Because someone is watching you be the best you. And you have a team to lead.

_______________

I ask you –

Are you an organizational leader?

What’s your opinion of the glass ceiling?

Tell me your title, in whatever capacity you are in.

(The post Because…I am. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Defiant and Noncompliant

I’ve (mostly) come back to my senses so allow me to share the good things, the fun, the holiday spirit activities before too much of January arrives with all its circumstances.

I connected with like-minded others who have a passion for servant leadership. Some are also self-described adrenaline junkies, which I believe speaks to a world of chaos I’m mildly interested in exploring.

I reconnected with a special person who will probably never read this post, but holds space in my heart. We were both very young when I joined his family, so to see him as an adult, with children of his own, but with the same mischievous smile of years past – a huge smile crosses my own face.

The weight bench and weights represent strength, but more than traditional strength equipment. They are joy, peace, and a fair amount of pain. The past 2 winters I’ve been unable to run on the island like I train year-round to do. It’s disappointing. So I continue to train in other ways…ways that make me feel strong.

Sharing some words spoken to me, in natural muse-like behavior: You may be biased. But you are fair. I can’t think of anything better than to be known as fair, especially when leading others. Maybe I’m doing something right.

Lastly, a lesson in obedience rather than how I’ve been obedient. Some have a certain type of face they must keep under wraps. You know the one. The infamous RBF. Luckily, I don’t have one of those. However, I do have a very prominent laugh. It’s loud. It’s me. If only I could control it. I can’t. It bubbles out of me like a fountain spewing joy at the most inopportune times. The pastor called me his favorite heckler. Probably not a compliment. People stare. Some smile so that makes me feel better. Others look over in alarm. As they should. The legacy I leave won’t be for world peace, or lavish contributions to society, but to the worst timing of a laugh. I guess we’re all remembered for something.

____________

I ask you –

What connections have you made lately?

Any go-to activities when you can’t do what you love?

Tell me your defining trait!

(The post Defiant and Noncompliant first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anew in 2025

My heart has been hurting for some time now. The holidays had me at war with myself. Every day in November, I did one thing for myself. I went to the coffee shop frequently, I escaped work to go window shopping, I went on long walks, I dated me. In December, I set a goal to work out as much during the week as possible. I created my own workouts to excuse the knee pain, I religiously followed up with doctors to get the X-ray and MRI, I pushed hard for me.

Then, the diagnosis of patellar tendonitis. Doesn’t sound so bad. My first question – can I run? Short answer: not yet. There’s still inflammation, there’s still remedies, there’s still physical therapy. I was happy with a diagnosis and thankful for an intact meniscus, but I still can’t run. I’m still in pain. There’s still swelling. I’m not ready to run, I know, I know. Yet I really wanted to just take off, down the street, carefree, moving my body the way I love to do.

2024: 267 miles

Afterwards, the threat of government shutdown, of furloughing my staff, of making dozens of notifications to people who just want to enjoy their holiday. My thin thread of sanity was fraying. My hard-fought and well-earned beach vacation was beginning to feel like a middle finger to everyone left behind. The one beating heart inside me threatened to collapse.

I should be excited. I should be ready to tackle the new year. My ethics board review will most likely be completed early January. I can begin scheduling, then traveling for my research. I will graduate in 2025.

But, for whatever reason, peace eludes me. The things I’ve tried to fill my time with, to refocus on, to overcome, have not been enough. I’m getting there. This is a hard one. And I think it’s important that others know you’re not alone.