Anatomy of Paper Writing

As this week has been the most stressful thus far, I’m offering some insight into the reasons why I don’t answer my phone, text back in a timely manner, attend social events, or do anything else really. Besides the fact I’m lazy. Here’s a typical day in the life of a doctoral student. Or maybe it’s just me.

4:02am – Coffee

4:06am – Open approximately 23 tabs of research articles and 1 word doc

4:10am – Try to figure out what I’m doing with my life

4:13am – Start typing

4:45am – Panic because I’ve forgotten where I was going with the million words crossing my mind

4:46am – Re-read everything previously written the past 32 mins

5:01am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to wake up before I decided to go back to school

5:02am – Panic again because the realization has set in I only have 58 more mins to type before I have to wake up mini

5:18am – Close one word doc and open another because I’m an idiot with overlapping classes

5:31am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to get up, back when mini didn’t go to school and I had a conscious thought process

5:42am – Check the due dates and put my head on the desk

5:43am – Sigh loudly, drink the coffee that’s now gone cold, and rethink my life choices

5:45am – Frantically type 250 more words in order to feel good about the perception I’ve done absolutely nothing the past 2 hours

6:00am – Contemplate requesting leave for the next 3 years until school is done

P.S. something terrible happened this past weekend and a file I had been working on went corrupt…kaput…a big middle finger to hours of work. No recovery software could save it. Alas, I cried. A lot. No one warned me I would be so emotional.

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I ask you –

Sorry. I have no questions. I’m typing this at an indecent hour because I totally forgot I hadn’t edited anything for the blog this week and I would feel bad for letting my readers down if I didn’t at least try to post something. So here it is. Something. You’re welcome.

(The post Anatomy of Paper Writing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

My Face When…

this is my face when…

When you’ve been writing for 4 hours and only have 2 pages. I need 6 pgs minimum.

When a doctoral candidate writes (paraphrased) “people who are emotionally weaker have a tendency to be depressed”. Wow. This statement is fantastically false and hurtful. Idiot.

When one of the assigned readings is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (not really, one of the authors is named Hyde so that’s what I call this book) and it mentions the U.S.S.R. – which I should be careful in even typing because we know how that turned out for me last time. It struck me as weird because it’s a very outdated title. Turns out it was written in 1959. Now it all makes sense.

When I drop off mini at school and can’t find my ID to access work. My sweet coworker (Ms. P, remember) happily informs me it’s at my computer. At work. Which I can’t get to without said ID. In nearly 10 years, I have never left my ID in any place other than intended. Thankfully I had other methods to get to work. But still. Now I have to start over on my record.

When mini wants to discuss the merits and nuances of “running sticks”. Tampons. That’s what we’re talking about here. She’s 6 so I give her an age appropriate explanation. Just as I thought we were done – aka I had sufficiently navigated these uncharted waters – she asks…so where do they go? My answer: inside your body. As a look of horror and disgust cross her little face, she loudly says “YOU EAT THEM?!” And this is where I said we’re going to be late for school, let’s go.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over questioning every life choice ever made and frantically searching for that damn parenting manual. Again. As I always do.

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I ask you –

Do you have a winning streak on never forgetting your ID or some other form of work access card, etc?

What conversation was the hardest with your child(ren)?

Send help. I don’t know what I’m doing over here.

(The post My Face When… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Always with the Random Stuff

I was researching the hours away one morning when my mini decided to join me to “write her blog” as she put it. No idea where she got that.

As her little fingers diligently found home row keys with her warm skin pressed against mine, I marveled. She typed away while we talked about the things she’d been learning in computer class. At least they still learn proper typing techniques.

This same day my research consisted of a case study on Amelia Earhart. I brainstormed ways to bridge statesmanship with her love of flying. Really, I wanted to publish an author’s note about how I was going to tie these two seemingly wildly different concepts together but decided against it when I couldn’t come up with any phrase other than “let me land this plane”. My professor probably wouldn’t see the humor in such wording. Or maybe he would. Best err on the side of caution.

Squirrels: overgrown, bushy-tailed rodents. The one in this photo above buried his nuts in all the pots. You’re not a teenager, stop laughing. So he goes around uprooting everything searching for his lost nuts. Still laughing, aren’t you? If I owned a slingshot, he wouldn’t look there for his nuts. Cracked myself up. Get it, get it.

poor, dry fingernails

As most people do, I wear many hats in the office. Recently I was a baby lizard wrangler. My incredible co-worker, Ms. P., doesn’t like me to dispose of any living creature we find. Even the crickets but I do it anyway. However, I make exceptions for lizards. I relocated him outdoors. Funny how I got her a flyswatter and she’ll use that thing on anything. Hmmmmm.

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I ask you –

Do your children copy what you do?

Are you an animal saver?

From 1 to my-humor-is-wildy-inappropriate, where do you fit in?! I’m a 10!

(The post Always with the Random Stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Call Sign STUMPER

Allow me to share a story – it’s a long one. Have a seat.

In my (military, civilian, non-profit, etc) career(s), I haven’t had an opportunity to speak with anyone at the federal, national, even state level, to my knowledge. So when presented with such opportunity, I nicely jumped all over it. Some parts of this event were volun-told, but others were sheer chance alone. During a recent visit from the United States Air Force Chief of Staff, Gen CQ Brown, Jr., as hundreds of people crowded into an auditorium, I took my place about 5 rows from the front. Again, when would a visit from this official ever happen again? We were presented typical pre-speech information: don’t take selfies, turn your phone off, and (my favorite) here’s how to ask a question at the end. My friends and I made small talk, ahem, jokes. I regaled them with the story about the time I sang in front of the installation commander. Them: You can sing?! Me: Hahahaha no. On time as always the General arrived. He is a wonderful speaker, a seemingly humble individual, and a strong leader. His slides were short and his humor spot on. In many ways, he reminded me of my current squadron commander. I truly hope one day he, too, will grace stages with an entourage of security detail and big picture awareness. Approximately 30 mins later, the big QA session began. My hand went up before the words were out of the moderator’s mouth. I stood, politely introduced myself, and asked the following question: “Sir, as you have a high impact, high visibility position, what perception do you think we, as civilians and Airmen, get wrong about what you do?” Silence. Deafening silence. Suddenly I became the recipient of wild looks and laughter. The General began to pace the stage in silence. Finally, he answered. His answer was a well-rounded approach to being a father, husband, and son. He struggles with the same things we do. He worries about his children, now adults themselves. He sits around at night and can’t believe he gets to do what he does. I thanked him for his time so others could ask their questions. Fast forward to my office later – a conversation ensued between the Senior Leader and my supervisor. Cue the laughing. Unbeknownst to me, jokes of stumping the General were made on the surrey as he departed. I can only imagine my commander’s face. Kel, you need to stop speaking.

And that’s how I became known as STUMPER.

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I ask you –

Thoughts on the call sign?

Have you ever been laughed at?

Share your wild stories!

(The post Call Sign STUMPER first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Still Writing and Reading

I totally thought by spending so much time writing case studies and research papers I would not have it in me to write blog posts. Wrong! Herein lies the random things my brain circles around –

I wonder who watched an egg fall out of a chicken’s behind and thought we should try to cook it?! By the way, if you haven’t read the book Gladys The Magic Chicken then you are missing out! Fairly certain no one thought it was nearly as funny as I did. Even mini wasn’t laughing like me. Sometimes people miss the mark on humor. But not me!

I wonder how many people picked berries and fruits in long forgotten lands, then ate them and died? Oh dang it, John; guess we can’t use that one.

My very own claim to fame: that one time I helped a virtual stranger get accepted into his master’s program. To this day, I am still soooo proud of this!

The first time I ate Five Guys. As my very best friend, Sam, is also in the throes of her own doctoral program, she’s been in my mind lately. Also because when I need help she’s my first call. If you recall, Sam and I met in boot camp, then went to training school together, then went to Norfolk together, as well. We basically lived together for almost 3 years. Anyway, now we’re commiserating papers together. Huge digression here. Five guys. Our classmates in Pensacola kept talking about this hamburger place. Eventually one night we succumbed to pressure to try it. Spoiler: I’m not a hamburger fan, neither is Sam so we enjoyed the fries most of all. And then we never returned. Anticlimactic.

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I ask you –

What random things do you think about?

Have you ever eaten at Five Guys?

Name your favorite place to eat! Home!

(The post Still Writing and Reading first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Slow Down, Butterfly

Photo by Mathias Reding on Pexels.com

Within the past few weeks, there has been a ton of movement in my area of the governmental workplace. Not only have many chosen to retire, but there is now an ability to ramp up hiring. Truly I’m thankful my leadership understands my desire to lead and further my career goals. But I remember a time where I was hesitant to share what my actual goals were lest I seem unappreciative of the opportunity I had initially been given or it taken as a slight against their leadership. Crazy, right? Yet how often do we as employees think that way? Too many I suspect.

Sometimes I think the glass ceiling is real; other time it feels like a construct, an excuse why we don’t make changes. Hey, that’s the world we live in: every new phenomenon has a catchy name created by some whackadoo computer warrior wearing socks and sandals. No offense. As I’m always on the lookout for originality, I feel frustrated. What’s more frustrating is I totally forgot where I was going with this thought. Glass ceiling. Right. Poof. The moment has passed.

Anyway…as there’s never a right time to change jobs I hope the next few months prove fruitful for me. More responsibility, more opportunity, more people! For someone as introverted as myself, I sure do gravitate towards positions where the masses congregate. Back to my boss – he keeps me grounded (as best he can). Surely I am not the only social butterfly he’s ever lead; often he restrains me from becoming completely burnt out on how many activities I take on. It’s a full time job just dealing with me. Bless his heart.

I’ve realized there’s no true theme to this post. Typically I’m able to tie all my thoughts together at the end. Not this time. So I’ll close it with this truth – you never what someone else is going through. Be kind yet bold; be firm yet flexible; be what you are called to be. And we are all called to make a difference.

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I ask you –

What are your thoughts on the glass ceiling?

Do you usually have a post theme?

Share your favorite saying!

(The post Slow Down, Butterfly first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Affiliate Link – Mantra Band

I’ve been wearing my Just Run bracelet since Nov 26, 2018. Nearly 4 years! I never take it off and I think it’s just as incredible today as it was the day I purchased it. Many compliments have come from wearing this – I truly love this simple reminder about how much running means to me and what a run can do for my day. The several months I was injured and subsequent PT had me concerned I may never run again. My Mantra Band was a battle cry to continue working towards running. Now look at me!

Super excited to partner with Mantra Band! The order page is: www.mantraband.com/mindbodyshameless. Use my code MINDBODYSHAMELESS for 15% off your entire order. Not only do the creators at Mantra Band design stunning bracelets but they also have necklaces, rings, and tons of other options, including Mantra Books! Their mission prioritizes optimism and mindfulness which we could all use more of, right?!

As part of their collection titled “Charity Bands”, they offer bracelets with unique mantras benefitting the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Alex’s Lemonade Stand, among others. What a great way to literally wear your support and passion on your sleeve. I also love the Bar collection and the Mandala Affirmation Collection. Let’s be real, I love it all. Shortly after I bought my own bracelet, I also sent one to my sister and one to my best friend with a different saying than my own. Mantra Band’s craftsmanship stands the test of time. Everything made by Mantra Band make excellent gifts – for yourself or others!

Full disclaimer: Yes, I have my merchandise links which of course I make money from. And, now, these are affiliate links which, again, means I do make money if/when my readers purchase their own Mantra Band.

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I ask you –

Do you have any affiliate links you’d like to share?

What’s the longest you’ve worn a piece of jewelry?

Again, you can order from this link: www.mantraband.com/mindbodyshameless. Remember to use my code MINDBODYSHAMELESS for 15% off.

(The post Affiliate Link – Mantra Band first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© Running on Fumes 2022

Day in Photos, island edition

Let’s talk about my two favorite things: coffee and running.

Cafe Padre at Yummies Bistro

Perfectly cinnamony, any artisan-level coffee is just right for me. Yummies makes fantasticly fancy coffees for every taste. I’ve never ordered anything bad from there. They also have food, but who cares. More coffee, please!

Too bad I’ll be writing papers during this event because it sounds like everything I love in one weekend. Post-doctorate plans are already being made. Note to self: research how many times you’ll have to run the island because it’s not 13 miles long.

(not pictured) broken Keurig. Apparently it is an issue the company is well aware of because I have called in twice just on my own machines. There’s a particular model with a faulty mechanism which pops the heat sensor rendering the machine kaput. Or something like that. I bring my own Keurig on vacation and didn’t even get one cup of coffee before it broke. Hmmpphh.

Hoka running shoes seem to be the shoe du jour on the island. I never saw one runner in Brooks the entire week. Maybe they just don’t know what great shoes feel like. Or else they prefer their sandy toes in a different brand. Whatever works. I did see one sponsored cyclist mid-week. He had a fancy kit. Perhaps I should have asked if he would be participating in the HHH at the end of the month. But since I was dying from the humidity there was no way I was chasing him down.

Overall, I ran three times that week and walked dozens of miles…beach to condo, shop to shop, vehicle to restaurant. You know the drill. I won’t miss the humidity, but I do envy 80° days and nights. And fried fish. I adore fried fish. It’s practically healthy! For those of you sick of my island recaps, I’ll be back to regularly scheduled silliness soon. Right now, I’m still basking in my tan lines. Mini goes back to school this week. Standby.

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I ask you –

On a scale of 1 to I-would-literally-die-without-it, how much do you love coffee?

Do you find yourself walking more while away from home?

Please comment your bets on how tired mini will be after the first 3 days of school! Mine: she asks to go to bed after dinner.

Flashback Fumes!

In a fun twist on words, theme-play, if you will, I’m resurrecting some of my older blog posts in a series I call Flashback Fumes. You’re probably familiar with the term flashback Friday (cousin to throwback Thursday) so I decided to design my own spin. Running on Fumes has been tantalizing the eyes and minds of loyal readers like yourself for 3 years now. But even loyal readers miss posts now and then. So this is for you!

Merchandise Pages are Live!

Options!

Coffee Mugs – because YES!

Shirts – t-shirts and tanks

Good morning everyone! I finally have the merch campaign live. Obviously this is a special post for a variety of reasons. One being I pulled the trigger and set up a merchandise page, period. Truth be told, my sister was a huge (read: main) part in getting this done because I would’ve drug my feet even longer.

Click on the links above (Coffee Mugs or Shirts) to check out the pages. For now, I have limited options but eventually I will be adding stickers, bags, etc. Let me know if there’s something specific you’d like to see! I’m not trying to retire on merchandise sales (big laugh here)…just looking to spread the word about what I’m accomplishing and, one day, when I open my shoe store/coffee shop/wine bar/library I’ll be ahead of the game! And then I’ll retire.

Please note: I chose to use a third party for the time being so you don’t have to wait forever for me to ship things and so I don’t have access to your personal or financial information. I fully realize many of you don’t know me outside of posting here; trust me, that’s a win!

Thank you! -Running on Fumes

REPOST!! I’m a Pioneer!

The post below was originally published June 7, 2021. At this moment, I’m probably basking unashamedly on the beach with a cup of coffee. Hope you’re having a wonderful day, as well!

I need friends. Running friends. Running friends who only run when it’s incredibly hot outside and I can’t go out there to run. Too much? So I joined Strava.

Find me on Strava!

Then I decided to channel my inner woman of the wild and become a canning master! Next up: living in a hut and churning my own butter. Right. I know.

Strawberry Jam!

Jam

As a writer, grammar and spelling are important to me, as well as consistent fonts across a document. It’s my job. I appreciate when someone’s email signature line is short, concise, and, most importantly, legible! You may be asking how an email could possibly be anything other than legible; rest assured, I’ve seen it all. It’s not pretty.

Full disclosure: I don’t believe everything I read on the internet. Tell me you don’t either. So I did my own research. Turns out it is true!

My dreamer mindset got a little excited, to tell the truth. But as for adding it to the bucket list? No thanks. The part that negated all my dreams was “The real-life walk would be grueling, filled with scary animals and diversely bad weather.” Nope, nope, and nope. Next, please.

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I ask you –

What’s your Strava information? Please comment below. I need friends!

Have you ever canned anything? What should I can next?

Tell me something on your bucket list!