Re-Post: Love Notes

A few times a year, when I’ll be gone, I phone it in and do a re-post. Allow me some time to recuperate and I’ll be back with new material! xoxo, RoF

Surely in the last 4 yrs (update: 5 yrs now) of Running on Fumes I have mentioned my sweet great aunt, my daughter’s namesake, the woman who taught me that life is for giving. But, if you’re new here, allow me to introduce her once again.

It’s very difficult for her to hear on the phone so occasionally I break out the pen and paper and send her a love note. At 96, her ears may not be what they once were but her sight is adequate. She is love epitomized into one small woman with the most beautiful laugh and a smile that lights up the entire world.

She’s a God-fearing woman with a heart of genuine gold. I try to be a woman she is proud of, an incredible mom like she filled that role for me, and an overall good person. And her deep baritone singing voice? Well, nothing I do could ever come close.

Sure, this post is short today but there’s so much meaning behind it. Call the person, send them a love note, tell them how much they are missed. It’s not for you. It’s for them.

________________

I ask you –

Do you have a special person in your life?

How is your singing voice?

Tell me the last time you sent someone a personal letter or note!

(The post Love Notes first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Cheap Grace

Definition: Cheap grace basically teaches that we can win our race without cost or commitment to training.

I read the above statement again and again. And again. And maybe again, too.

Some call it discipline, I rather think of it as escapism. My friend and neighbor came upon me walking one evening after I had spent nearly 90 mins working on a new section of my manuscript. He might see my walking the same stretch of roadway nearly daily as discipline when, in reality, it’s just a convenient path to unwind my mind and seek (literally) new words to bring to life this idea in my head.

Conundrum: I need access to a setting, a group of people for my study, yet I’m not certain how this comes about. Organically? Do I show up and sweet talk my way into their good graces? Cold calling? Exactly how does this happen, inquiring minds must know.

Unrelatedly, remember a previous post about getting kicked out of meetings for laughing too much? Real life possibility. Cue the most recent meeting where a group titled Pheasants Forever was mentioned. I snorted laughing. Later, thankfully after the meeting concluded, I asked if this was a real group. Indeed, it is. But better was the question by an equally funny coworker who asked “Do the peasants fly?” I nearly peed on myself when I retorted how peasants are people!

Anyway, cheap grace.

_________________

I ask you –

How would you define cheap grace?

Are you guilty of engaging in an activity to seek escape?

Pheasants Forever – ever heard of them?!

(The post Cheap Grace first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Making Things

I made a pink lemonade creamsicle with Sugar free pink lemonade, Jordan’s Skinny Syrups coconut, heavy cream and ice. Amazing!

I like jelly beans. I don’t like Dunkin. Didn’t buy them but was considering it.

Still recovering from Air Show. My poor feet took a beating. Once the chronic pain returned, I could tell something wasn’t right. There’s extensive bruising under and around my pinkie toe, as well as a large swollen area under the toe, nearest the side of my foot. It’s non-weight bearing and, early on, was causing pain on the outside of my calf. What now? So, short of religious usage of ibuprofen and staying off it as much as possible because right I’m totally on top of that then here we are. Again.

Also trying red light therapy for mini’s skin issues, as well as testing its claims to be great for healing. We’ll see how it works out.

______________

I ask you –

Do you like creamsicles?

Have you ever tried red light therapy?

Tell me your favorite brand of jelly beans!

(The post Making Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Biggest Fan

Cinnamon brings heaven to the thoughts, for that sweet spice somehow is part of my soul. Perhaps through some good memory that sits in my dreaming brain, a memory without words that sparks joy from its scent. – Angela Abraham, @daisydescriptionari, March 18, 2021

For some time, I thought my favorite coffee was defunct because I couldn’t find it at any of the usual grocery stores. I may have panicked a little. So when I saw the Starbucks Brown Sugar Cinnamon, I was somewhat relieved that maybe I had found an alternative. It’s good albeit slightly more expensive than what I was purchasing. However, it appears to just have been a supply chain issue because I can order my favorite from Amazon, and surely it will return to store shelves eventually. Surely.

Blue Bell has always been one of my favorite ice cream brands. Yes, I know I wrote in a previous post that Braums was my favorite; however, I only rank it slightly above Blue Bell due to the extra creamy texture. Blue Bell is like my childhood sweetheart – never forgotten, classic, a part of my DNA. I’m not sure who created the Cinnamon Twist flavor, but I want to kiss them while simultaneously beating them with a big stick. It’s somewhere between a churro and the ooey gooey incredible middle of a cinnamon roll. I ate so much it made me very sick yet (as many of you know, I balance the non-keto world in terms of “is it worth the headache and migraine symptoms”) it was decidedly, unequivocally, do it all over again WORTH IT. It was so worth it that I have managed to turn most conversations regarding benign things into a discussion about how amazing it is. Trust me, I make it really weird.

Now, I shall return to work or writing papers or whatever I’m supposed to be doing whilst daydreaming about coffee and ice cream. Affogato, anyone?

____________________

I ask you –

Do you enjoy cinnamon-flavored things?

Have you tried Blue Bell’s Cinnamon Twist ice cream?

Tell me your favorite flavor, of anything!

(The post Biggest Fan first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

2024: The Path Ahead

(This is the post I intended to publish on New Year’s Day, but we got home late and I overcommitted myself to doing all the things prior to sitting down to put the final touches on it. Hence, here we are today.)

Not being a fan of the traditional New Year’s “resolutions”, instead I like to focus on a “word of the year”. You know, something that resonates with me and that I can embody all year long. 2022 was grace, 2023 was strength, and 2024 is exhale. Simple enough, right? I write it in a few key places so I can be reminded regularly. What I do with the reminder, in the moment, is up to me but it’s nice to focus on one word. Below, the four words written above my word of the year are mantra-type words I want to remember. Although I have no idea how they factor into a year that has yet to be lived, I’m finding joy in believing they will be powerful.

2024 will bring about its own challenges, as each year does. Nearly a full year of writing my dissertation, mini will change school locations as she progresses, there’s that foot surgery business, dozens more blog posts, and anything else the world throws my way. Perhaps there will even be room for promotions. Nonetheless, focusing on my breathing and remembering to exhale through the little and big things is a nice part of living in this wild world.

Also, books. This was my first year as part of an actual (unofficial) book club! We read several books I would have never chosen myself but most were great! The Cuban Heiress by Chanel Cleeton. The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown. For One More Day by Mitch Albom. And so many more…The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst was my favorite. Just what I needed at the time. Amidst the hustle and deadlines and stress of the holidays, it was a moment to settle my soul and feel what I needed to feel. And reprioritize. Definitely that.

Now, about the running portion of 2024. I keep a log of my annual miles – not too bad, if I do say so myself. Beyond the local (i.e., at work) 5k’s and one community run (Thanksgiving Day), I ran zero sanctioned races. And you know what? I feel no different than I did when I ran allll the races I could find. By my own calculations, I’ve been intentionally running for 7 years (2017-2023). Not too bad! Even though I’m unsure what 2024 will bring – foot issues, etc. – I know I will run again in 2024 and it won’t be pretty at first, but by the time I post the 2024 run mileage, I’ll still look back and think…wow. I did that.

__________________

I ask you –

Do you have a resolution or phrase of the year?

Did you read any amazing books? Please share!

Tell me your 2023 run or activity stats!

(The post 2024: The Path Ahead first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-post: Gas Station Guilty Pleasures

I’m still soaking up the island sun and probably happy to report there’s few people and fewer things to do. This winter vacation is exactly what I needed. I’ll be back soon with new material!

From Jan 3, 2022: Have I ever mentioned my fear of convenience stores? Dumpsters, yes; convenience stores, maybe not. Perhaps I watched too many nightly news broadcasts as a child where so-and-so was killed during an armed robbery at a corner convenience store, blah blah blah. My overworked imagination is a bit much at times. Even for me. Maybe it’s the fact there’s typically so many posters, flyers, window paraphernalia covering every square inch of glass where one would/could see out. Or maybe it’s the one way in, one way out design. It may even be the fact many people pay cash instead of using their debit cards. That makes no sense, Kel. Which is exactly my point. My fear makes zero sense. Nothing bad has ever happened to me inside a convenience store. And I won’t be patronizing any to test my luck.

I have seriously digressed. IF I was to frequent convenience store establishments, my guilty pleasure would be peach rings. Affectionately called “peachies”, I would most likely purchase them each time. Soft yet chewy and reminiscent of a sweet, summery peach, these sugar-laden treats beg me to sample twenty. On a related note, a whole group of kids played a game at Halloween which consisted of inserting a large popsicle stick (or tongue depressor, if you want to be specific) inside their mouth and seeing how many gummy orange slices each could stack on their stick. Since I did not play, but am a huge kid at heart, I sneakily ate 4 gummy orange slices when the game had commenced. I had forgotten how much I love those things!! Pretty sure my blood sugar went into outer space. But what a way to go!!

Yummy!

You know what else they sell at convenience stores? Lottery tickets. Or as mini calls them – scratcher offers. My parents love receiving lotto tickets. To my knowledge, they’ve never won anything big (unless they kept it to themselves which is exactly what I would do haha) so I guess it’s the possibility of winning a huge payout that keeps people addicted. On the radio show I most often listen to, one of the co-hosts spends upwards of $200 each paycheck buying lottery tickets. I don’t recall if he said he buys the scratch-off kind or plays the actual lottery, but $400/month is still $400/month on gambling. Perhaps since I’ve never been a gambler do I not understand this fascination. To each his own.

this is the only lotto I’m winning

And, on that note, my mother’s birthday is coming soon. Let me find someone to stop at that store on the corner to get her lottery tickets. Because it’s not gonna be me!

_____________________

I ask you –

What is your gas station guilty pleasure?

What do you call lottery tickets? I’ve heard the term “scratchers” before.

Name something you are unjustly terrified of.

(The post Re-post: Gas Station Guilty Pleasures first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Where do we go from here?

Kel, it can’t always be everyone else. Sometimes…it’s you.

Remember when (probably last week) I mentioned it had been the 2nd time someone scraped their tire against the front panel of my car? Well, upon the 3rd incident, I decided to reexamine the situation. It was me. Turns out – pun intended – when I pull into the garage, I’m cutting the angle a little too close and touching the garage panel. Whoopsies.

Incident #2

Typically I don’t share a lot on here that’s incredibly vulnerable and personal. Mostly I try to keep it positive yet self-deprecating because that’s funny to me; however, lately, for whatever reason, I was considering things I regret from a generalized perspective. And, I believe my biggest regret is how I was not there for my best friend when she needed me most. We’d been through so much together yet I bailed when all she wanted was acceptance. And I bailed at a critically horrible time in her life, when she was dealing with a medical crisis. As far as regrets, that’s definitely the biggest, almost unforgivable one I can think of. Others might disagree. If there’s ever a time when I can say it can’t always be everyone else, that time … It was all me. Occasionally we reach out to each other but it will never be the same. I hurt her. In a matter of minutes, I lost every ounce of trust she had ever placed in me. Rebuilding it might take forever. There’s no funny ending to this piece of information and it’s sad still.

But what isn’t sad yet is still applicable to everyone is the year I’ve had so far. I don’t love recognition from a large, well lit stage. Really, I want my team to be recognized for their contributions to my success because I wouldn’t be here without them. So, I would say to them, it isn’t everyone else, it’s you. And all of the you’s make it worth it.

_______________

I ask you –

Have you ever thought something was happening to you that wasn’t your fault?

Any advice for regaining trust in a long-term friendship?

Tell me about your successes!

(The post Where do we go from here? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Unearthly Expectations

As expected, my foots need expert, aka surgical, attention. You know – for all that technology has accomplished, how come there’s only a few options for feet? I did all the others. The surgeon was quite incredulous when I requested to have surgery on both feet simultaneously. But I persevered! Eventually, he came around to my way of thinking but it took some convincing. First, he says it’s dangerous when you can’t walk under your own power. Then, he says the pain may be too much. His final attempt at dissuading me was my mental health. Something about suffering from depression when unable to run.

I counteracted his every argument by saying I will sit at home and be a good patient; I have a high pain tolerance; and it makes more sense to have both feet done to allow me to complete my coursework at one time.

Then, when I visited my muse, her advice wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear but valuable nonetheless. She said, “Kel, you’re still Wonder Woman, but it’s an unearthly expectation to do all the things just because you can.” Granted, her words stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider my decision. For a time. It’s difficult considering all the unknown variables, including being unable to play in the intramural volleyball league as originally planned. Now, I’ll just coach!

My wingwoman and I

So, all this to say my mind is pretty much made up. I may come to regret it but both feet is the way to go. Despite the circumstances and outliers, I know I can persevere. And I will.

Yet every time you make it through something that doesn’t kill you or land you in jail, there’s this overwhelming feeling of excitement and gratitude. I live for it.

___________________

I ask you –

Any big decisions on the horizon?

Could this be the dumbest decision I’ve made? It very well could be.

Tell me about your superpowers!

(The post Unearthly Expectations first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos

Warning: language.

The 2nd time this has happened in as many months. I really need people to learn to park!

My wingwoman bought this for me in Copenhagen, Denmark. She said it instantly reminded her of me. She’s not wrong.

They gave me a paddle, of which I threatened to use on anyone within arm’s length! Seriously, though, it’s nice to be recognized.

Mini did some pumpkin patch things with her classmates. She even brought home a pumpkin! Now to convince her to carve it so I can have roasted pumpkin seeds.

_________________

I ask you –

Is there a particular phrase that resonates with your personality?

Do you like roasted pumpkin seeds?

Tell me what you have going on this month!

(The post Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Always the Dramatics

I knew that the short 7 day reprieve from coursework would fly by, so I gave myself something every day to look forward to, something just for me. Besides, what’s a moment compared to the avg 3 hrs/day I typically spend on schoolwork, right?

First day, I found this: “Half of the battle of anxiety is realizing when you’re entering the battle. This is mainly because our fears and insecurities feel so true. We tend to go along with whatever pops into our heads.”

Days 2-7 didn’t go according to plan. What did I do for myself these days? I survived because it never, ever, ever fails that my body ditches all common sense during a break and caves to sickness. Sure, it was just a head cold meets some seasonal allergies but I was convinced this might be the end. I didn’t even run for a few days! Then, the meds worked wonders and I was back at it.

Finally, on the newest episode of “Where Did These Bruises Come From?!”, twice-a-week volleyball is kicking my butt. And hands. And knees. Seriously, every time I shower I find a new discoloration and/or painful area. But is it worthwhile? Absolutely not. I mean … of course it is!

______________

I ask you –

Do you battle anxiety or anxious thoughts?

Have you been struggling with allergies, too?

On a scale of 1 to holy crap you need to chill out, tell me how dramatic you are! 12.

(The post Always the Dramatics first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)