Running and How I Haven’t Been, a short story

6 weeks after I paused my half marathon training plan, I realized it’s probably time just to cancel it. Whoopsies. Seeing as how I haven’t run one day since the pause – again, whoops. School is kicking my arse. Correction: this one particular class is the problem. You can bet the end of course survey is going to be as long as some of these papers. From unclear instructions to lack of response to everything in between, I’m so done.

As usual, I digress. My sister and I have a plan to work out together once she officially starts her job at marketing…next week. Perhaps we can motivate each other to get our lives together. Unlikely but we’ll try! She says no running. Maybe I can convince her though.

Going Away Parties

Above is just a few of my incredible new coworkers who are re-motivating me to get back to what I love. Working in a gym really leaves no room for excuses not to use the facility. Hopefully by the time you’re reading this, I will have worked out twice this week. Even put my bag in my car so I’ll have clothes. Really it’s just making time for what I love to do instead of stressing a schedule and the to-do list that grows while I sleep. Somehow it always does that.

_______________________

I ask you –

Have you been keeping up with your fitness or exercise goals?

Does your to-do list grow while you’re sleeping, too?

Any advice?

(The post Running and How I Haven’t Been, a short story first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It Might Be Time –

– to let some things fall off my plate. I was late to something 4x last week. That’s a 400% increase in my forever record. No one cared but still.

– to take myself on a date. Books and coffee sound marvelous right now.

– to really heed that 2pm alarm where previously I would take a break, take a walk, generally just escape for even 10 mins. Surely haven’t been doing that.

– to plan a getaway for the month break I have around Christmas before I embark on 2 courses during the same 8 week period.

– to forgive myself for not “having it together”. Because no one does.

– to really make a conscious effort to slow down.

Surely there’s at least a hundred other things to add to this list but it’s definitely time for me to…find something else, something more positive to write about.

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I ask you –

What are some things you need to make time to do?

Which of these resonates most with you?

Tell me how often you make lists!

(The post It Might Be Time – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Calculating

As I’m in the bowels of finance and budgeting, let’s look at how much time I spend working on schoolwork. Approximately 3 hrs per day, 5 days a week. Substantially more on weekends, totalling about 10 hours, 15 if there’s a holiday from work. For fun, we’ll say 1 holiday per month. Where was I? Ok, 15 hrs per work week, add 10 equals 25 hours per week. I’m not good at this. 25 hours times 4 weeks per month is 100 hours. Now the holiday. If it’s a workweek holiday, then the difference is an additional 2 hours. I believe I’m at 102 hours +/- 2 hours. Right?

My point is there was a time, recently in fact, I couldn’t comprehend how many hours per week I spent training for a race. Big reveal. It could have been no more than 5 hours/week. Max. A whole 20 hours each month. It really puts it into perspective.

Also, I bought a new book I must make time to read. Along with the other 2 on the shelf. Probably should have waited to purchase it but I was overcome with joy at the new release section.

You know what was not overjoying? Finding out the professor uploaded the wrong spreadsheets, instructions, and information to complete an assignment. I spent the week begging other people to help me with creating some bar charts and pie graphs because I couldn’t get them to compute properly. Gee, wonder why. So I had 11 pages of useless words. Here’s hoping I can reuse the writing in a different assignment. But probably not because that’s how my luck works.

At least I’m not as dumb as I thought I was to be completely inept at Excel. This time it really wasn’t my fault.

__________________

I ask you –

How many hours do you spend doing discretionary things?

Read any good books lately?

On a scale of 1 to I-really-want-to-yell, how angry do you think I am? Answer: sometimes I add to the list of people I wish I could run over.

(The post Calculating first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I’m Moving!

Buildings. I’m moving buildings. But I have a great reason!

I guess the powers that be in a lovely organization with the ability to make or break one’s career opportunities finally came around to my brand of willpower. More drama. In other words, I got the job.

Donuts and fitness. You know the joke .

I’m leaving the command team to go supervise a gym. Again. Sure, this gym is a federal entity but beyond not having to sell memberships it really is the same as other gyms I’ve managed… if you count hundreds of uniform-clad people parading in and out on their quest to become powerlifters. I swear it’s not a prison. Nonetheless, this process to further my career and pay grade has taken over 2 1/2 years, but I’m thankful someone took a chance on me in the beginning. Fully realizing my leadership style is not for everyone, I do want to see our fitness centers succeed and grow. There will be growing pains. There will be some frustrations. But I’m nothing if not up for a challenge.

By the time I move positions, I should have just returned from my out of state trip which is still useful in my new position because resiliency is necessary everywhere. And I sincerely want to teach these concepts to my employees. Hopefully there will be some fitness expo trips in the near future to enhance my understanding.

Sure, there’s a lot on my plate right now but this has been a long time coming. Here we go again!

___________________

I ask you –

Do you want to take a donut tour in New Orleans with me?

What are my chances of being back in the gym and finding my running motivation again?

Tell me how full your plate is. Let me commiserate with you!

(The post I’m Moving! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anatomy of Paper Writing

As this week has been the most stressful thus far, I’m offering some insight into the reasons why I don’t answer my phone, text back in a timely manner, attend social events, or do anything else really. Besides the fact I’m lazy. Here’s a typical day in the life of a doctoral student. Or maybe it’s just me.

4:02am – Coffee

4:06am – Open approximately 23 tabs of research articles and 1 word doc

4:10am – Try to figure out what I’m doing with my life

4:13am – Start typing

4:45am – Panic because I’ve forgotten where I was going with the million words crossing my mind

4:46am – Re-read everything previously written the past 32 mins

5:01am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to wake up before I decided to go back to school

5:02am – Panic again because the realization has set in I only have 58 more mins to type before I have to wake up mini

5:18am – Close one word doc and open another because I’m an idiot with overlapping classes

5:31am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to get up, back when mini didn’t go to school and I had a conscious thought process

5:42am – Check the due dates and put my head on the desk

5:43am – Sigh loudly, drink the coffee that’s now gone cold, and rethink my life choices

5:45am – Frantically type 250 more words in order to feel good about the perception I’ve done absolutely nothing the past 2 hours

6:00am – Contemplate requesting leave for the next 3 years until school is done

P.S. something terrible happened this past weekend and a file I had been working on went corrupt…kaput…a big middle finger to hours of work. No recovery software could save it. Alas, I cried. A lot. No one warned me I would be so emotional.

_________________

I ask you –

Sorry. I have no questions. I’m typing this at an indecent hour because I totally forgot I hadn’t edited anything for the blog this week and I would feel bad for letting my readers down if I didn’t at least try to post something. So here it is. Something. You’re welcome.

(The post Anatomy of Paper Writing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Call Sign STUMPER

Allow me to share a story – it’s a long one. Have a seat.

In my (military, civilian, non-profit, etc) career(s), I haven’t had an opportunity to speak with anyone at the federal, national, even state level, to my knowledge. So when presented with such opportunity, I nicely jumped all over it. Some parts of this event were volun-told, but others were sheer chance alone. During a recent visit from the United States Air Force Chief of Staff, Gen CQ Brown, Jr., as hundreds of people crowded into an auditorium, I took my place about 5 rows from the front. Again, when would a visit from this official ever happen again? We were presented typical pre-speech information: don’t take selfies, turn your phone off, and (my favorite) here’s how to ask a question at the end. My friends and I made small talk, ahem, jokes. I regaled them with the story about the time I sang in front of the installation commander. Them: You can sing?! Me: Hahahaha no. On time as always the General arrived. He is a wonderful speaker, a seemingly humble individual, and a strong leader. His slides were short and his humor spot on. In many ways, he reminded me of my current squadron commander. I truly hope one day he, too, will grace stages with an entourage of security detail and big picture awareness. Approximately 30 mins later, the big QA session began. My hand went up before the words were out of the moderator’s mouth. I stood, politely introduced myself, and asked the following question: “Sir, as you have a high impact, high visibility position, what perception do you think we, as civilians and Airmen, get wrong about what you do?” Silence. Deafening silence. Suddenly I became the recipient of wild looks and laughter. The General began to pace the stage in silence. Finally, he answered. His answer was a well-rounded approach to being a father, husband, and son. He struggles with the same things we do. He worries about his children, now adults themselves. He sits around at night and can’t believe he gets to do what he does. I thanked him for his time so others could ask their questions. Fast forward to my office later – a conversation ensued between the Senior Leader and my supervisor. Cue the laughing. Unbeknownst to me, jokes of stumping the General were made on the surrey as he departed. I can only imagine my commander’s face. Kel, you need to stop speaking.

And that’s how I became known as STUMPER.

___________________________________

I ask you –

Thoughts on the call sign?

Have you ever been laughed at?

Share your wild stories!

(The post Call Sign STUMPER first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Slow Down, Butterfly

Photo by Mathias Reding on Pexels.com

Within the past few weeks, there has been a ton of movement in my area of the governmental workplace. Not only have many chosen to retire, but there is now an ability to ramp up hiring. Truly I’m thankful my leadership understands my desire to lead and further my career goals. But I remember a time where I was hesitant to share what my actual goals were lest I seem unappreciative of the opportunity I had initially been given or it taken as a slight against their leadership. Crazy, right? Yet how often do we as employees think that way? Too many I suspect.

Sometimes I think the glass ceiling is real; other time it feels like a construct, an excuse why we don’t make changes. Hey, that’s the world we live in: every new phenomenon has a catchy name created by some whackadoo computer warrior wearing socks and sandals. No offense. As I’m always on the lookout for originality, I feel frustrated. What’s more frustrating is I totally forgot where I was going with this thought. Glass ceiling. Right. Poof. The moment has passed.

Anyway…as there’s never a right time to change jobs I hope the next few months prove fruitful for me. More responsibility, more opportunity, more people! For someone as introverted as myself, I sure do gravitate towards positions where the masses congregate. Back to my boss – he keeps me grounded (as best he can). Surely I am not the only social butterfly he’s ever lead; often he restrains me from becoming completely burnt out on how many activities I take on. It’s a full time job just dealing with me. Bless his heart.

I’ve realized there’s no true theme to this post. Typically I’m able to tie all my thoughts together at the end. Not this time. So I’ll close it with this truth – you never what someone else is going through. Be kind yet bold; be firm yet flexible; be what you are called to be. And we are all called to make a difference.

_________________________________

I ask you –

What are your thoughts on the glass ceiling?

Do you usually have a post theme?

Share your favorite saying!

(The post Slow Down, Butterfly first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Playing Catch Up

It’s currently Friday night, I’ve been suffering all week with ridiculous allergies, and I realized I haven’t written one word for a post. 23 words now. I’m on a roll! Let me catch you up on my week.

Still Friday. What a crazy day. From 5 miles to start the day to being able to log into my very first doctoral course – it’s been a rollercoaster of emotion. The twin and I were able to honor our grandfather during the POW/MIA run at oh-dark-thirty. Seriously the mosquitoes are brutal. Then we did another hour of walking as part of the Run to Remember for our fallen SAFB service members. Sister wanted to kick me. A bazillion steps later, I finally showed up to work.

I’ve been anxious about this “first look” for school. We can log in and look around, print some things etc, but can’t officially get started. There was a moment where I thought ‘is it too early to quit?’ Surely this will get better with time. Surely. By the time you’re reading this, class will have officially started. Here we go!

Mini has been sick, as well. Poor baby. I blame her. From the few days of rain we received some time back, the ragweed decided to make its grand appearance. Then the city decided to mow because why not. Hello, sneezes! Hello, Zyrtec! Anyway, this has been fun.

I also attended my first ever Air Force Ball. Despite the lack of, well, many things during the preparation phase, the night was a lot of fun. As expected…it literally took a village to put my outfit together. As it’s been an extremely long time since heels were required, I solicited amazing friends and family for a curling iron – because why would I need one of those – and a purse. Which I swear I have one, but couldn’t locate. The accessory du jour was a sparkly tiara because how often does one have an opportunity to wear that?!

Now I must return to my rather boring life punctuated with football, word counts, and a run or two.

___________________________

I ask you –

How was your weekend?

Have you ever worn a tiara?

Tell me how often you rely on others to make things happen? All the times!

(The post Playing Catch Up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day in Photos, pt 90

The week came and went and I didn’t realize I had written nothing. Here I rely on my ability to throw together a post created entirely of short sentences and photos.

Hocus Pocus season is upon us! Just a few more weeks until the long awaited sequel!

Mini and I when we realized we hadn’t really made any big plans yet for our Hocus Pocus Watch Party!

Throwback to my very first half marathon – Rock n Roll VA Beach. So glad it wasn’t my first and only!

Losing weight is hard. Making good food isn’t. My compromise is I will eat what I want – carbs, desserts, etc – in moderate amounts. I dusted off My Fitness Pal and have been religiously monitoring my plate. So far, things are going well. And I feel really good, too. Win!

___________________

I ask you –

Have you seen any funny sun visors lately?

Do you have a throwback photo of your first sporting event?

Tell me your least favorite vegetable!

(The post Day in Photos, pt 90 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Finding Joy + Important Question

Sep 1st I’m starting a half marathon training plan. Not because I have a race in mind, but because it’s fall and that’s what I do. I train. I am the driver. I must drive! Also because running is my escape and with school starting mid-Sep then I’m going to need to escape from my laptop. And running brings me joy so why not.

A radio caller posed a question: “Should I let my 12 yr old wear makeup?” Nearly everyone on the show stated no. I didn’t see the problem. Mini has been wearing makeup since she was 2. No, she doesn’t wear it anywhere except to church. My reasoning has always been when you make something mysterious, when it becomes a big secret, that’s when it develops into forbidden fruit. She’s been watching me do my own makeup her whole life; naturally she wanted to participate. Putting makeup on brings her joy. Truthfully, she’s really great at eyeliner. She should give me lessons because mine sucks. For her, makeup isn’t about covering an insecurity or for attention…she genuinely loves blending colors and watching it transform to the finished product. Makeup artists are, in my opinion, creators on a living canvas. Joyful.

Circa 2019 – good thing she’s had practice!

A lovely friend often uses the phrase ‘finding joy’. One day she stated she saw a cabinet of candles in her home and silently asked herself why she wasn’t using them. She recognized unlit candles were not bringing her joy so she made a change. Hello, fire! I, too, have a host of candles I never light. Sounds like I need to do something about it pronto. My “Is this bringing me joy?” moment revolves around perfume. I noticed I own several bottles of the same scent of expensive, glorious perfume, but rarely do I wear it. Not anymore. Mini has her own makeup and body spray I encourage her to wear – it’s about time I take my own advice.

Minus the dramatic, winged eyeliner. I’m not there yet.

________________

I ask you –

What brings you joy?

How would you have answered the question of a 12 yr old wearing makeup?

Tell me how many candles you currently have in your home! At least 6.

(The post Finding Joy + Important Question first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)