Cue the Frustration!

You can’t reason with someone who is having unreasonable feelings.
Presumably anyone with anxiety

Season 7 of Grace & Frankie streams at the end of April. Don’t come at me with your Vietnam War comments. I’m well aware of her previous publicity. Everyone makes mistakes. She’s an actress. A great one. Life goes on. In related news, I’m sad this will be the final season. I have laughed, cried, and lived with this show from the beginning. It’s a riot.

Image Credit: Netflix

On the subject of movies, have you ever heard of “Top Gun”? Rumor has it there will be another movie premiering end of May. It’s only been rescheduled two, three, five times. I’ll believe it when I see it – and I do plan to see it opening weekend. Iconic in its own right.

Last week, whilst changing phone service providers, I had an ‘I’m becoming my parents’ moment’. Turns out my phone was too old to transfer service properly so I needed a newer phone. The phone was only 5 yrs old! I probably frustrated the young assistant manager with my blank stares and horrific sticker shock. He handled it well. Then I spent the remainder of the evening and some of the next day trying to log in to all my regularly accessed apps. You know, like my blog. You’ll all be pleased to know I’m now the proud owner of some fancy contraption that can call Mars and will most likely spontaneously combust in my hands. Oh joy.

I lost my check in record of 960-something days and 3 cities’ progress

In an effort to tie this semi-random post together, I’m soliciting for a director to write and produce my life story. Must work for free. The content is self-explanatory and abundant. All you need to do is follow me around for a week before you realize this could be the easiest job ever or you run screaming for the hills.

The cost of phones these days is exorbitant. Did I mention pro bono?

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I ask you –

Are there any upcoming movies or shows you’re looking forward to seeing?

When was the last time you bought a new phone? What did you pay??!

But seriously – I need a director. I’ll pay you in stressful moments and fancy coffee!

Spring Cleaning

Where has the time gone? How is it April?

My incredible co-worker, Ms. Pat, and I located some gloves and trash bags for “Spring Clean Up Day” at work. Photo op fail. We looked like a service crew who had lost their party…like a prison work group minus the orange jumpsuit. From our vantage point, we didn’t see but one other person outside participating in an event touted as “base wide”. Hmmmppphhh. 30 mins later, with 30 mph wind gusts, we tossed the bags in the dumpster and returned to our building. Spring cleaning: ✅.

One man’s trash, you know the rest. I decided weeks ago to participate in the “Citywide Yard Sale” something or other. Even my neighbors happily gave me their discards to haggle. Why not. As I reminded my MiL I was going to be camped out in her lawn from dawn to whenever, she had a fabulous idea: to ruin my party of 1 with a robe-wearing rendition of old lady humor complete with a solid dose of “GET OFF MY LAWN!” Maybe it was funnier pre-sale. Alas, I waited all day for the show, but none appeared. I sold each item for $1 while Mini bombarded them with items she thought they needed. Team work!

And, on a less funny but more in line with spring note, it was past time for a haircut. I needed something lighter for hot weather.

New do, who dis?

P.S. mini will be 6 years old tomorrow and I’m in shock of how this happened. I swear she was a newborn yesterday. If you leave her happy birthday wishes in the comments, I’ll read them to her tomorrow!

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I ask you –

When was the last time you paraded down the street picking up trash?

Are you a garage saler? Negative. Haggling gives me anxiety.

Spring cleaning: yay or nay

One Day, but not Today!

More funny radio show things to share: forgive me, this isn’t really funny, like hahaha, but more like haHA! A man in Brazil was being chased by bees. He ran towards the nearest body of water and jumped in. Wouldn’t you know said body of water was inhabited by piranhas. And the rest is history. First, let me say I laughed entirely too loud within the confines of my solely occupied car at 7am. By this point, if you don’t know my death-is-funny past, then allow me to reference many previous blog posts with prime examples. Then, I cringed because the radio hosts went on to say…”did you know piranhas are very small, about the size of your palm?” Alas, I did not know this pertinent piece of information and I wonder what this man’s final thoughts were on escaping bees only to be eaten alive by palm-sized fish. FFS. Cue my future fear of bees and water. Wonderful.

I had a song stuck in my head so, like any good employee, I located the song and began to blare it through my desk speakers. Mostly kidding. Whilst searching for this song, I found a playlist of it on repeat for ONE HOUR! I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to repeat a song for one hour, but you’re my hero! It’s been said repetition is the pathway to higher learning – ok, no one said this, I totally made it up, but it’s true – therefore, listening to the song over and over again will most likely remove it from my brain. I hope. But, if not, that’s ok, too, because I rather like the song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPanjfwJvlE

Forgot to Mention –

In my next to last physical therapy session, the amazing people at Reneau brought out the big guns…ehh, needles.

The following day after dry needling, mini said to me “Mom, I just have to ask you one question. What does your leg look like after all the needles? Is there holes in it?” Truth be told, she was extremely disappointed there were no visible holes. If you missed the PT graduation post, it’s here: (link)

We had a joint birthday celebration in the office with some of my favorite birthday buddies. And any reason to eat too much cake is always welcomed. In fact, I’m still eating the cake. Sidenote: frozen cake is delicious! I’ve shared before how the military celebrates everything with cake, even the things that make no sense to celebrate, like sexual assault prevention and response (SAPR). Cake? What?

One day, I won’t be so random. Not today! Maybe tomorrow. Probably not.

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I ask you –

Do you think you’re an annoying co-worker?

Do you always celebrate with cake or something else? I love ice cream.

Tell me if you’ve had any experiences with dry needling!

Released Unto the Wild

I graduated! For the fifth time (or something like that).

(L to R) PJ, me, Max

PJ and Max at Reneau Rehab have been quite incredible on this entire 6 week journey. When I started there, I could barely stand on my left leg for any amount of time. The pain levels were intense, I was pretty depressed about the status of my injury, and I wasn’t entirely sure I would ever run pain-free again. Disclaimer: I know I get dramatic, but I was seriously in a rough place!

PJ continued to challenge me until even the final minutes of the last session. I learned to focus on the mind/body connection of the muscle groups I’m working instead of nonchalantly going through the motions. My left knee tends to just do whatever it wants (falls inward, acts ridiculous, etc) so I really have to put thought into what I intend it to do for me. It’s more than strength training – it’s using the muscles for a purpose. Mind and body!

As I completed a few 5ks – distance, not races – throughout the course of physical therapy, the changes were noticeable. I really had been slacking off. Wayyyyyy off!

Final Day: I pushed a person on the sled! (credit: Allison)

Now that I have a whole week of on-my-own training under my belt (minus a few days of insanity), I’m especially happy I wrote the exercises down as I went through them at Reneau. The exercise band is kept in my purse so it travels wherever I go. That’s not weird at all. My goal has been to dedicate 3x a week to strength training. I only got in 2x this past week but they were good because the soreness was real! Indeed I received some odd looks when, at the gym near my workplace, I was surrounded with “toys” aka a bosu ball, a weighted bar, a medicine ball, and a yoga ball, among others. Yes, you can get a great strength session without actual weights. Shocking, I get it.

Indeed I noticed several gentleman with a huge upper body and stick figure legs. Excuse me, Sir, can I interest you in a medicine ball? Allow me to show you a few things. Maybe next week.

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I ask you –

What did you last graduate from and when?

Did you know it’s possible to strength train without dumbbells?

In a scale of 1 to an uneasy staring contest, how well will a “let me help you train your legs” conversation go? Knowing my ability to be humorous, probably a 2.

Do You…?

Meditation is my thing. But I’m not going to lie: sometimes I go into my closet and lock the door so no one can find me.
Gwen Stefani

Part One

Even before mini started school, I had wondered what parts of it would mimic my own school experience. Because things can change in —- ohhhhhhh —- nearly 20 years. I wondered about cafeteria food, her first book, and loads of other variables. Including the book fair! I’m pleased to report, indeed, there is still a yearly book fair, even for children as young as 5! However, it wasn’t the overflowing library of carts covered in books I remember from years gone by. Instead the book fair was only a small rendition; a miniscule scale of the elaborate week it once was. Mini enjoyed it though. She has no other comparison. Blessed be the innocent.

Part Two

Dan (the one and only) sent me this article: How to Use the Two-Week Rule to Become Remarkably Successful (and Optimize Your Bucket List)

Quotes like “I can do hard things” by Des Linden are prime motivators for really anything you encounter in life. But what if someone told you that in two weeks you’d know exactly how reachable your goal is…would you believe it? Probably not. I met interesting people during the course of 15 physical therapy sessions. Some I’d like to have coffee with; others I could do without ever speaking to again. Get back to the point, Kel. In particular, I met a previous runner now cyclist who was dealing with some knee issues. She stated she kept their business in business. As we discussed various running distances and the local, famous cycling event, she said she had completed 2 marathons and encouraged me to at least once in my life complete one, as well. When I raised my eyebrows as if to say ‘look lady, I’m here because I can’t manage a long run much less 26.2 miles’, she reiterated the word run. Not race. Run. Her words were ‘walk if you have to, run when you can; your goal is to cross the finish line standing up’. And in that moment I saw it all. Start with two weeks, then think about the next two weeks, and so on.

Spring projects

On the topic of bucket lists (and knowing I’ve shared much of this before), a marathon is included. As is a trip to Mexico and/or Las Vegas. Mainly because many of my friends have taken a trip lately and I’m feeling left out. Other to-do’s are to restore an old truck, then outfit a van into a camper and travel from state to state. I also want to complete a Ragnar. I’d love to see the northern lights. For now, I think I’ve got a good start on a list.

Now What?

I have no idea *massive shoulder shrug* When I wrote this post and decided to combine book fair with motivational statements, it didn’t work then either. I make the rules! You’re welcome.

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I ask you –

Can you do anything for two weeks?

What’s on your bucket list?

Name something from your childhood you fear (or know for sure) has changed. Definitely school lunch.

A Day in History

During our recent trip to OKC, on the itinerary was a trip to the Oklahoma City Memorial. If you’ll recall, I once wrote an extensive graduate paper on terrorism. My field of study. The paper was submitted electronically and earned me a lot of attention. By attention I mean it was embargoed by the federal government and multiple three-letter agencies, never returned to either my professor or self, and I was investigated. On the bright side, I got an A before my professor ever received it and the joke is it ended up on (then) President Obama’s desk. Anyway… I’ve always wanted to visit.

Not only is it a uniquely designed memorial, but also a touching testimony to survivors and the families of those lost. No matter what damage was done that day, people all over the world have an opportunity to pay their respects. Photos online do not begin to compare to the solemn reverence of this memorial. Mini was intrigued by the chairs – big for adults, small for children.

I wasn’t prepared for the emotions to overwhelm me. I really had no reason to not be able to speak around my tears – at the time, we lived hundreds of miles away. Yet watching it on television in 1995 (I was 9 yrs old) is an engraved photo in my mind, but it does nothing to prep your heart for the magnitude of 168 lives needlessly lost. 168. Many other tragedies since easily surpass that number. But it’s people. And no number of people killed due to acts of terrorism is acceptable.

unrelated: the bldg in the background is where I was sworn in to the US Navy

Again, the photos here do no justice to the emotional journey of looking at mementos left on the fence once used to guard the damaged building after it was bombed. Or how it feels to touch the granite wall of children’s hand prints created by children from multiple states in response to hearing of the children whom would never come home. My collegiate career focused on the acts themselves, the mindset of the guilty, the way it has played into future events; my publications didn’t address the emotions or the very real loss. Interestingly, this is common in people who study subjects considered unempathetic, like child abuse, law enforcement, or terrorism. There’s a switch that must be deactivated. I can’t imagine what it must be like to visit the 9/11 Memorial.

All this being said, hug your kids tighter, say a few extra I love you’s, and visit places you’ve always wanted to see. As I get older, I’m appreciating history more and more. Probably because I know one day we all will be history ourselves.

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I ask you –

Have you been to the OKC Memorial or 9/11 Memorial?

What’s the chance this very post will be flagged before publication? Listen, I don’t have time to plead my case.

Name a place you’d like to visit.

Sensing a Theme…

I love reading about and watching the Barkley Marathon. There’s something so primal (and completely insane); it’s just fascinating!

I found this post: A-Z OF BARKLEY MARATHONS, THE WORLD’S MOST NOTORIOUS ULTRAMARATHON The people who run Barkley are both nutjobs and heroic. I appreciate these qualities. With so many races now returning from virtual-only, my entire news feed is flooded with photos and stories of runners doing what they do best. The familiar feelings of being inspired have returned. At this moment, I have 3 more physical therapy sessions before I am officially cleared to go forth and run! It’s exciting yet also a tiny bit terrifying. Granted I have run during the course of PT; however, it has been under their guidance. Now it’s time to leave the nest!

I sure would!

There is a 5k (my longest distance since injury recovery) scheduled next weekend – I did sign up with intent to run – and my therapist stated go for it! Note: it’s a run, not a race. Speaking of racing, recently I remembered meeting an Army officer when I worked in Oklahoma. He would never train lower body because he said as a collegiate and military-sponsored soccer player he received all the lower body training he needed on the field. I brushed it off as surely he knew what he was doing; I thought it sounded odd but to each his own.

Today, I’m dealing with the ramifications of this very same mindset because as someone who runs consistently I believed I didn’t need (or make time for) a solid strength training routine because everything I needed I could find out on the road/track/treadmill. Now look where I’m at. Just look at it! This faulty line of thinking forced me to take an extended break. But it also reframed my entire way of incorporating preventative training.

Now what, Kel? Well – I have the tools, literally and figuratively; I have the will; I have the reason. Nothing can stop me except myself. My plan is to prioritize strength training with the same schedule I’ve had for PT, i.e. 3x/week. As much I dislike the word balance (yeah right), my motivation is not finding myself in this position again. Don’t be like soccer guy! So, if you need me, I’ll be over here with my happy little stretchy bands doing what someone else more knowledge than I showed me how to do. And I will appreciate it!

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I ask you –

Can you imagine the mindset of taking on a challenge like Barkley?

Have you ever overheard (or been given) terrible advice?

Share your thoughts on activities like a Barkley or a Ragnar!

On the life scale … + PT Update

Just when I get accustomed to a routine at physical therapy – a collection of 8 or so exercises targeting core, hamstrings, knee, and glutes – I’m treated to a wonderful surprise. A new routine! It’s really not wonderful. But of course they didn’t remove the exercises that are the hardest for me. Oh no. Why would they do that? Ugh. Instead, they leave the super difficult ones and add some others in place of the ones I was starting to master. Sure. Why not.

I like to call these “truly awful”

In related news, I can tell my lower body strength is increasing. Because Texas graciously awarded us a week of beautiful Spring-like weather a week after the second ice storm, I was able to run outside. Not one to waste an opportunity, the run was my first since beginning PT and I could tell a difference in the way my hamstrings didn’t feel “wobbly”. There was a slight knee twinge around mile 1.5 so I walked some, then when I restarted, everything felt fine. It’s working!! I’m extremely thankful to Renau Rehab for guiding me; working with Max and PJ has been incredible. Beyond being very knowledgeable, they’re also kind, funny, and invested in my return to running.

these are called “one-legged wonders”

Also, have you ordered your Running on Fumes merchandise yet? There’s still time and many options available, from tanks to hoodies to coffee mugs to tote bags! You can find your next RoF item here!

the beloved Ms. Dory! (hoodie)

Last week was one of those weeks where if it isn’t one thing, it’s a billion others. From craving ice cream – all I could find were popsicles – to multiple days of gorgeous sunshine, besides the craziness, it was one for the books. Personally, I’m just glad we’re moving forward.

This is officially the week before my birthday week (it’s a Sunday this year) and I have big plans. Stay tuned!

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I ask you –

What part of exercising is your favorite? When it’s over!

How often do you do any task that requires standing on one foot?

Tell me your favorite cold, sweet treat!

In All My Years, a memoir

Things it took 35+ years to learn

Eat before taking medication, unless otherwise stated
Your phone camera is a lifesaver when it comes time to remember stuff
No one gets extra points for not asking for help
I enjoy watching grown men get beat up, sacked, and tackled. Football. I love it.
Move the tampon string out of the way before you pee.
We are the common denominator in all of our relationships.

Other Stuff

This was such a great article about why we are the way we are. Even if you hail from a completely normal, functioning family, surely not everyone you encounter or have a relationship with is the same. It may have resonated with me more than even I’m capable of understanding. More to come.

More Fascinating Things

I must confess. When others told me they were practicing “mindful eating”, I thought it was just another buzzword, a clique-ish term, a passing fad. Big eye roll. Same goes for “intuitive eating”. Of course I’m intuitive! I know if I don’t eat soon, I’m going to get angry! How’s that for intuition. But, lately, I haven’t been restricting my carbs or cutting out fruit or doing any of the other things I believed worked for me previously. Just a few weeks ago, I mentioned using the MyFitnessPal app and I’m happy to report it’s (still) really useful.

mini decorated my workout area – bands shown here

There’s even been a few instances of completing my PT routine at home. Necessity only. The booty bands in the photo above are worth every penny of the $10 I spent. I’m using them for squats, deadlifts, and knee rotational exercises, but the options are limitless.

In light of my upcoming birthday, the learning curve will – hopefully – never cease. But, if/when it does, my final piece of advice is this…Unbuckle the seatbelt before attempting to exit your car. I’ll be here all day.

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I ask you –

What is your best piece of advice?

Have you heard the term “intuitive eating”?

Tell me the buzzword you currently hear most!

Wonderland

Finally found – it wasn’t really lost – the 2 missing dumbbells to complete the set. Now I can begin doing a full workout in the prescribed time instead of half, then alternating sides. It was nothing more than an annoyance so no hard feelings. It’s not like I was really doing much anyway.

I vaguely recall a time where I was able to mix cardio with strength training and actually make it work. Let’s see. Circa 2018 or so. Never too late to get restarted! I’ve used running as an excuse to not lift and vice versa; whilst knowing full well the secret is their complimentary relationship. My struggle has been letting go of a number on the scale. Really need to address this. So I’m refocusing on what makes me feel best.

For some reason, thinking about the gym reminds me of an amazing woman named Geri. She was the food bank director when I worked at the gym in Oklahoma. We just clicked. She was hilarious and always had a listening ear. During one summer, she was getting ready for a female relative’s upcoming wedding, so she asked how to use the stand up tanning bed. I explained, got her set up, and went about my way. Weeks later, she told (showed) me how she was able to get the perfect tan for a backless dress (I may have the details wrong, but I know the dress was more open toward the top). Returning to the tanning story – she demonstrated how she’d use whatever top she was wearing as pants while tanning in order to prevent anything more than her ankles and top getting tanned. Not sure why this sticks in my subconscious. I recall laughing hysterically at her preciseness. She was so great. I don’t know what has become of Geri. I looked her up (stalked) her a few times, but no dice.

Credit: hardcorecomedy2.0 via Instagram

Hello, from this rabbit hole. Anyway, I think I’m probably not eating enough which is why I go through these crazy binge/restrict phases. And, once a month, my hormone swings are enough to drive anyone insane. Not so much the emotions, but the cravings and complete lack of self control. I really gotta get it together. To date, myFitnessPal is working really well though. The tracking functions are simple; I haven’t had to manually enter any foods yet either.

Has anyone seen Geri?

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I ask you –

What size dumbbells do you own? Any missing?

Have you ever used a tanning bed?

If you were Geri, where would you be? Probably hiding from me.