Staples in the Fabric of Life

Believe it or not, I am the type of person who does not do well with change. Which is comical because my work life constantly changes. It drains me. And it takes me, what feels like, days to process change. When I began my work with the Air Force in 2020, I would listen when others said they would retire in 20-whatever or in (insert number of) years. In those moments, it didn’t resonate.

Now? With the past 4 years fraught with retirements, it has become another point of change I must take time to process. Because these are no longer people whom I didn’t really know. They’re…friends. Beacons in my workplace. Coworkers with vast amounts of knowledge, who have shared their memories and children and stories. They truly are staples in the fabric of my office, my life, my world.

It is possible I’m waxing poetic about a topic you may not relate to or are not as invested in as I am. Fine. But I do believe we all have those people in our lives whom we have “grown up” with, so when they depart, then there’s an empty space they once filled. Even if it is a chair on the third floor in room 308, the person who fills the seat is still a person.

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I ask you –

How do you cope with change?

Are you particularly close to your coworkers?

Tell me someone in your life who you feel you have “grown up” with.

(The post Staples in the Fabric of Life first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fighting the good fight

Today, the day got the best of me. I felt no emotion in a situation where I probably should have. I know it was there before. But today? No dice.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-criteria-exceptional-work-ethic-april-donovan

Occasionally I attend self-care and self-help type presentations. Or I give them. Something I like to mention are the effects of mental load. Most people are familiar with Newton’s something or other law about pressure and load and force, etc. The same applies to humans. The mental load of caring for, disciplining, and explaining life to other humans is remarkably taxing on the mind.

For example, making a grocery list. First, come up with meal ideas. Then, write those down. Next, consider what ingredients to purchase for those meals. But, first, find out what ingredients are already on hand. Scratch out, rewrite, repeat. This is a smaller mental load than, for example, disciplining employees. It’s no wonder the Facebook guru dude only wears blue shirts and jeans. Less mental load!

https://neurosciencenews.com/moms-mental-load-28244/

Before any other parents or parenting partners get their feelings hurt (I do the laundry, I cook!), yes, typically, mothers carry the heaviest mental load. Maybe it’s by default, maybe it’s the natural order of life, I’m not a doctor of that stuff. What I can say is the stress of being responsible for child-related tasks is more of a motherly duty.

All this to make a point about mental load in the workplace, especially for those with supervisory roles, balancing employees’ needs with the mission’s needs. Some days I offer feedback to adults acting like children, and some days I escape the day unscathed, with most of my sanity still intact. And on the roughest days, no matter the dazed and confused look I carry for hours, the next day brings renewed joy and hope to fight the good fight.

Some people are caretakers. Some are takers. The mental load finds balance where it can.

_________________

I ask you –

Before this post, had you heard of mental load?

How often do you consider the load of mundane tasks?

Which are you: caretaker or taker.

(The post Fighting the good fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards

The title of this post is admittedly paraphrased from a radio show host who shared a sweet phrase she saw graffiti’d on a building: “It only takes a second to tell someone something beautiful”. Obviously, the radio host indicated graffiti is vandalism, but it made me wonder why not greeting cards? Why not share inspirational quotes and phrases, lick the envelope, and send it on its way? How much are stamps? Probably less than defacing public property charges.

Did you know commercial greeting cards originated in 1860? Me neither.

The several cards received. (not pictured)

_________________

I ask you –

I doubt many will answer, but have you ever grafitti’d something?

Do you send greeting cards?

Effective 13 July 2025, postage stamp prices will increase to $0.78.

(The post Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Sun and Swords

Woman seeking… mosquito repellent. Specifically, a mosquito repellent-infused lotion that doesn’t smell like my childhood. Have I ever mentioned the citronella s’mores?!

Also, a Gummy-repellant would be nice, too. For the first 45 days, I had a life lifter which meant the available lives were increased to 5 from 3. Now, I get 3 lives. First world problems.

On average, it takes me about 10-12 months to fully learn a position, enough to become the SME of responsibilities. So, lately when I’ve had extra time on my hands, I find small projects to share whatever knowledge I possess. At this moment, it’s records management, which everyone despises. Necessary evil. Next year? Who knows. But my 5 yr plan most definitely includes a sword and dragon. I’m partly there.

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I ask you –

What are your thoughts on mosquitoes?

How long does it take to learn your role?

Name something in your 5 year plan!

(The post Sun and Swords first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Order of Leaders

We could beat people when they’re down, but it doesn’t make us leaders, it makes us tyrants. Recently, a leader in my organization approached me without fanfare, without ulterior motive, to share a situation encountered unbeknownst to me. He was concerned, he expressed empathy. And although I knew of the logistics of the situation, I hadn’t known the full picture. He offered grace rather than condemnation. He offered care as opposed to vindication or punishment. That’s a leader.

It has arrived!

Although the photo is not inherently leadership related, and neither is the following story, it will get me there. Standby.

The past few weekends have been packed with conferences. One I spoke at, the other I did not. However, each brought together hundreds of people looking for connection and community, and offered an opportunity to share stories. One may never know what another is dealing with until their story is shared. There were several what not to do’s, also.

I have probably never shared on this platform the struggle with my name, but I find others with similar issues when I share. Even mini has expressed an issue with her own name and its similarities to a popular name which causes people to mispronounce it. She despises this. All this to say, we each have struggles. In an effort to overcome these struggles and become great leaders, we must listen first and act second.

_________________

I ask you –

How often do organizational leaders jump to conclusions?

Care to share a story of your own?

Tell me your best advice.

(The post Order of Leaders first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Treats

I know it’s not summer yet but I’ve been loving ice cream lately. When is ice cream not good? Fun fact: most places sell more ice cream and frozen treats when it’s cold outside.

Why does Blue Bell do this to me? Most assuredly, it is not keto. Oh, but it’s so goooooood!

Pretty sure I previously posted this same photo, but Rebel ice cream is really tasty!

Place a few of the Lindt truffles in the fridge and you will be amazed. Cold. Delicious. I should stop.

_________________

I ask you –

What is your favorite summer treat?

Have you tried Blue Bell’s bride’s cake or groom’s cake?

Name a truffle flavor I must sample.

(The post Summer Treats first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Authorship

I’m officially published!

You can read the full dissertation here: Immigration Federalism in the United States: Texas Case Studies. The next step is distributing the publication to the cities who participated in order to a) make good on my promise to share and b) hopefully produce valued change. Although only one of those is within my power, I’ll soon be applying for adjunct professor positions in hopes to share my knowledge of the policies and systems in place within local Texas communities. To say I’m humbled is still an understatement. Some days I am in disbelief my PhD journey has ended. While I continue to cheer on my friends who are deep in the throes of their own doctoral journey, I want to forever remain a valuable contributor to higher education.

The bound work arrived in the mail – all 6+ lbs of it. 6 POUNDS! It looks like it belongs in the Library of Congress, so said my spouse. If all else fails, I’ve created a massive paperweight.

This is also mini’s first year taking the standardized tests of all public schools. Right, wrong, or indifferent, I believe testing has a purpose yet after the anxiety-ridden day I experienced for her first of two tests, I’m beginning to believe and finally fully understand testing is even more difficult for the parents! At the time of this posting, she will have finished both tests and is officially free and clear to enjoy the final weeks of her school year. Then, we can do it again next year! When mini asked how many tests she’ll take in her life, I stated she would be continually tested…and tested. Tis the circle of life.

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I ask you –

Do you experience test anxiety or discomfort?

What advice would you give a young student?

Tell me your most difficult test.

(The post Authorship first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A-ssumptions

A short collection of the common (not really) assumptions I have/do made/make –

In this age of water bottle availability of all types, sizes, and beverage capacity, I just assume any time I see someone drinking from a can, that they must be drinking beer.

I also refer to anyone who smokes cigarettes as a “rich person” because you must be rich to afford $9+/pack cigarettes.

I assume if someone knocks on my front door, they are there to sell me something or share the news someone close to me has died. Both are reasons I won’t answer the door.

I’ve previously shared about my irrational fear of dumpsters, but it’s a very real fear in my life. As is my disdain for convenience stores – they’re terrifying.

In researching other things, I found this article: 25 Assumptions Examples, a straightforward description of common assumptions. Many I had heard of but many I didn’t know the exact name for.

The more you know, the less a-ssumptions you make.

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I ask you –

What is one assumption in your life?

Did any listed in the article surprise you?

If all else fails, you know what happens when you assume.

(The post A-ssumptions first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Random Post, x3

Adorable birds nest cookies my MIL made. Nevermind the missing bites – taste test.

We won a game which means we technically tied for last place but that final game was a showstopper!

I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to coach and play with this amazing group of Wingmen.

Sorry, friends, I don’t have a lot to share today. Definitely more to come next week!

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I ask you –

Did you know what a candy birds’ nest was?

What was the chance of winning the final game? Less than 10%

Participation trophies: Yay or Nay? For others, no. For myself, sure!

(The post Random Post, x3 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Let’s Talk About It

Bonus points for the Good Mythical Morning reference.

On this blog, I’ve talked about pregnancy, postpartum issues, perimenopause things, and a whole lot of other stuff.

We haven’t talked about menstrual cycle-related cravings. We’re about to!

I don’t know about other women, as I’m only one, small blessings, but 7-10 days prior to my cycle, I crave chocolate like it will never be there for me ever again. And, somehow, my 39 yr old body has now discovered the joy that is peanut butter and chocolate. Together. Big shocker. From no bake cookies to no bake fudge to Lindt truffles to huge chunks of dark chocolate, there are no boundaries. And the longer I deny the craving, the worse it gets. I once woke up in the middle of the night to raid the cupboard for chocolate.

Of course, chocolate has all the feel good properties of illicit drugs, at least that’s how it’s perceived by our human brains. But the origin of a craving is bizarre. Most research points to fluctuating hormone levels as the cause behind what we know as a craving, commonly for sweet or salty snacks.

Cravings are selective and intense, meaning the desire for a specific substance is overwhelming. Even the most trusted self help literature falls short of tried-and-true ways to overcome a craving. Nonetheless, I’ve lived with them for this long, what’s 50 years more.

Finally, I like to play a fun game affectionately titled why do my boobs hurt today? Running in an ill-fitting sports bra? Possibly. PMS symptom? Most likely. It’s always a blast around here, lemme tell ya’.

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I ask you –

Do you like chocolate and peanut butter together?

What fun game do you like to play?

Name your oddest craving!

(The post Let’s Talk About It first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)