In All My Years, a memoir

Things it took 35+ years to learn

Eat before taking medication, unless otherwise stated
Your phone camera is a lifesaver when it comes time to remember stuff
No one gets extra points for not asking for help
I enjoy watching grown men get beat up, sacked, and tackled. Football. I love it.
Move the tampon string out of the way before you pee.
We are the common denominator in all of our relationships.

Other Stuff

This was such a great article about why we are the way we are. Even if you hail from a completely normal, functioning family, surely not everyone you encounter or have a relationship with is the same. It may have resonated with me more than even I’m capable of understanding. More to come.

More Fascinating Things

I must confess. When others told me they were practicing “mindful eating”, I thought it was just another buzzword, a clique-ish term, a passing fad. Big eye roll. Same goes for “intuitive eating”. Of course I’m intuitive! I know if I don’t eat soon, I’m going to get angry! How’s that for intuition. But, lately, I haven’t been restricting my carbs or cutting out fruit or doing any of the other things I believed worked for me previously. Just a few weeks ago, I mentioned using the MyFitnessPal app and I’m happy to report it’s (still) really useful.

mini decorated my workout area – bands shown here

There’s even been a few instances of completing my PT routine at home. Necessity only. The booty bands in the photo above are worth every penny of the $10 I spent. I’m using them for squats, deadlifts, and knee rotational exercises, but the options are limitless.

In light of my upcoming birthday, the learning curve will – hopefully – never cease. But, if/when it does, my final piece of advice is this…Unbuckle the seatbelt before attempting to exit your car. I’ll be here all day.

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I ask you –

What is your best piece of advice?

Have you heard the term “intuitive eating”?

Tell me the buzzword you currently hear most!

Reminiscing

Of all the strange things we go (and grow) through in life, one I’m definitely having a hard time wrapping my mind around is my beautiful, great Aunt Mary Catherine not living in the home I’ve only ever known for her to live in.

Her voice is that of an angel, she is so very humorous, and her kindness cannot be rivaled. You have no idea how much it’s been tried. But I believe she’s embracing her new life in new surroundings near her sons. She joyfully stated apartment living would do until she “ran out of money or ran out of life!” I mentioned running out of patience. We had a good laugh. Alas, her home “is not Boxelder” anymore; yet she maintains a pleasant disposition toward the “old, gray-haired women” whom she says are both nice and sweet, but she’d rather not have so many meals with “a lot of women I don’t remember the names of”. Ditto.

Fortunately, we were able to visit her recently in her new abode. Mini has been asking me for weeks when we were going to see her; unfortunately, it took me entirely too long to actually plan a trip. In reality, her new accommodations are actually closer than where she previously lived (+/- 3 hrs versus 4 hrs). As her birthday is in April (she’ll be 95), I’m hoping our family has a big birthday celebration planned. Remind me to ask them about this.

“Whispering Hope” by Percy Faith is a song she mentioned as one of her favorites. Growing up in the big band, big orchestra years, she shared a story of questioning our hometown’s funeral director why this song wasn’t played at funerals and her expectation that it very well should be. I’m making note of it here as a reminder she has a desire for it to be played when she passes. Her wish is my command. In the meantime, I treasure every hug, every smile, every ‘I love you’ we share.

And, of course, there was a warm blueberry pie awaiting our arrival! Mini ate two pieces. Aunt MC shared another story of when she and my Uncle Jack were newly married and driving up the East Coast, my uncle noticed a roadside stand selling blueberries. At that time, Aunt MC had never eaten a blueberry and didn’t know what one was! Turns out, my uncle loved blueberries and once they became easily located in grocery stores, she had to figure out what to do with them all the time. Introducing the most famous (in my world and family) blueberry pie. Every minute I spend with her is such a blessing and a lesson in our family’s history.

I wish everyone had an Aunt Mary Catherine. But not mine; she’s spoken for.

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I ask you –

Do you have someone in your life like my Aunt MC?

Is there a family recipe you love the most?

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love blueberries? I’m a 12!

Wonderland

Finally found – it wasn’t really lost – the 2 missing dumbbells to complete the set. Now I can begin doing a full workout in the prescribed time instead of half, then alternating sides. It was nothing more than an annoyance so no hard feelings. It’s not like I was really doing much anyway.

I vaguely recall a time where I was able to mix cardio with strength training and actually make it work. Let’s see. Circa 2018 or so. Never too late to get restarted! I’ve used running as an excuse to not lift and vice versa; whilst knowing full well the secret is their complimentary relationship. My struggle has been letting go of a number on the scale. Really need to address this. So I’m refocusing on what makes me feel best.

For some reason, thinking about the gym reminds me of an amazing woman named Geri. She was the food bank director when I worked at the gym in Oklahoma. We just clicked. She was hilarious and always had a listening ear. During one summer, she was getting ready for a female relative’s upcoming wedding, so she asked how to use the stand up tanning bed. I explained, got her set up, and went about my way. Weeks later, she told (showed) me how she was able to get the perfect tan for a backless dress (I may have the details wrong, but I know the dress was more open toward the top). Returning to the tanning story – she demonstrated how she’d use whatever top she was wearing as pants while tanning in order to prevent anything more than her ankles and top getting tanned. Not sure why this sticks in my subconscious. I recall laughing hysterically at her preciseness. She was so great. I don’t know what has become of Geri. I looked her up (stalked) her a few times, but no dice.

Credit: hardcorecomedy2.0 via Instagram

Hello, from this rabbit hole. Anyway, I think I’m probably not eating enough which is why I go through these crazy binge/restrict phases. And, once a month, my hormone swings are enough to drive anyone insane. Not so much the emotions, but the cravings and complete lack of self control. I really gotta get it together. To date, myFitnessPal is working really well though. The tracking functions are simple; I haven’t had to manually enter any foods yet either.

Has anyone seen Geri?

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I ask you –

What size dumbbells do you own? Any missing?

Have you ever used a tanning bed?

If you were Geri, where would you be? Probably hiding from me.

Diagnosis meets Prognosis

The jury is in! Aside from (or maybe in accordance with) a torn meniscus, physical therapy is going swimmingly well. Torn is a bit of a general term when the meniscus is already healed. Luckily, my body did what the body does and indeed it healed. That’s the good news. The gray news (I’m not using the word “bad” because it’s not really terrible) is I have a lot of work to do in order to correct the resulting lack of strength and balance due to said injury. My left knee/hamstring/hip/calf are all very tight while also very weak. My balance is off because I don’t have a lot of confidence and am afraid of hurting myself more. All this being said, I’m the most enthusiastic PT patient I ever met!

In approximately 5 weeks, I will have completed 15 therapy sessions and everyone seems to have high hopes I can return to running in a normal fashion. Praise the Maker! Perhaps this was my wake-up call. I’ve known for some time – ahem, years – you can’t expect the body to perform at peak condition if you’re not giving it an opportunity to ever be at peak. In my case, I devote all my time to running during a training cycle, then return to strength training during the “off season”. Never have I been able to (i.e. made time for) strength training, flexibility, and running. Together. So here we are.

these are demonic torture devices, so I bought my own

Currently I’m ramping up my collection of therapeutic tools, like these nifty cloth bands that make my outer thigh burn like fire, and a weight bench for step-ups, supermans, and full body dumbbell exercises. Among other things. Put those gym management skills to use, Kel! I want to be strong AND healthy enough to run. Since my powerhouse of strength is seriously degraded right now, I fully understand this will take time. Most importantly, it will take discipline to continue what I’m learning in PT. I don’t know if you know this by now but I’m an extremely stubborn and dedicated person. Shocking, I bet. Surely I can devote my time to the exercises that will ensure I am able to run for years to come.

There’s probably many who are shouting “I told you so”. Trust me, I told me so, too. Sometimes we get into the groove of same old, same old…status quo…whatever the word du jour is. But until there’s several people with fancy titles and notepads asking you to stand on one foot – until that very moment – you (I) will continue to say everything is fine. Even when it isn’t. Even when a simple task like standing on one foot was once so incredibly easy yet somehow is now not. I remember running my first race after the traumatic DNF. I needed that run to regain confidence, to remind myself I’m capable of finishing, to prove my body and mind are okay. It was hard. The entire time I ran I was examining every symptom I experienced, wondering if I was hydrated enough, did I eat enough the past week, what if I pass out again, and the list goes on. How dramatic I sound right now I know not! All I know is this is real life to me.

On the bright side, the rehab facility is easily located and I’m thankful I have a position where I can attend therapy as much as needed to get me back in fighting shape. As long as I can outrun an enemy, hopefully it won’t matter if I can’t beat them up. But I’ll try!

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I ask you –

Have you ever had a torn meniscus?

Do you have any favorite “PT-style” accessories?

Tell me something interesting about your week!

Creativity + Projects

One of my New Year’s thingies (that’s the Greek word for whatever word isn’t resolutions) is to stop telling myself and others I’m not creative. And when I have moments of self-doubt, I remind myself of all the times I was creative.

Like when I refinished this entire wooden chest. Including removing hardware, it took several months because I couldn’t decide on what finish coat to use. And I think it was cold, too. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

disregard the dust – it’s hard to clean around the butterflies

Or when I repainted and reassembled this tired, wallpaper-ensconsed RELAX sign. Seriously. Wallpaper! It was hideous.

honorable mention: fake flowers

Don’t forget the time I decided to make my own poster as leader of yet another Freedom group. Early birds get the Word! I’m on a role for all time leadingest Freedom group leader, currently at 1.5 semesters. It’s a thing. The 6am group rocks it!

still needs work

The snowstorm threw a wrench in our starting date plans, but someone smarter than I decided it was always a good idea to give us a few spare weeks in case of emergency. Or blizzards.

I’ve also successfully kept up with two calendars for going on 3 months! My work calendar has become a lifesaver and my home calendar is extremely motivational. I tend to overlap lots of events just because it’s fun to write in them. Paper or keyboard, writing is my thing. And mini’s crafting desk is always a source of inspiration. Truly it’s an anxiety-producing nightmare, but let’s be positive!

I’m positive it gives me anxiety! There’s glitter everywhere. And these foamy ball things for slime that stick to every-effing-thing. Let’s not forget the paint. Ohhhhh, the paint. Ugh.

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I ask you –

When was the last time you created something?

Are you known for being crafty?

I’m team no glitter! Agree?

Frustrated w/ Life + PT Update

Considering running a marathon. Admittedly I realize how insane that must sound at this very moment when I’ve not begun a full recovery much less have a scheduled PT session at this very moment. Pause. Side note: I’ll be attending PT twice a week for 8 weeks. If I can’t get it figured out by then, surely I have bigger problems. Restart. I’d like to run a marathon. Notice I didn’t say race a marathon. Just run. For fun. To say I did it. And I’ve got the perfect one in mind! Sometimes the cart is located before the horse. RnR San Antonio, 3 Dec 2022. We’ll get back to this.

PT update: it’s now mid-Feb and I finally have an appointment. Finally. I almost feel like I should have just kept the original appt in early March. Then I wouldn’t have spent countless hours on the phone waiting on a referral, then a call back, then for a fax machine to work. Seriously. A fax machine. FFS.

I’ll probably write a whole other post on this eventually…for now, let me mention the usefulness of My Fitness Pal. I know a few people who employ this app to keep track of their eating habits, etc. Until recently, I was under the impression I was doing just fine without any help. But, for some unknown reason, ahem, probably my age, my body does not seem to be reacting well go any weight maintenance tools. Could it be my consistency lately would best be described as totally inconsistent.

Nonetheless, I’m having zero luck sticking with any real plan. I’m keto on the weekdays and off the charts on the weekends. The cravings for everything are almost unbearable. My weight makes me grumpy. Is this a midlife crisis?

Team Zero Self Control

Truly I think I’m just frustrated with waiting so long to get started on physical therapy. I’ve been “slogging” aka very slow jogging whenever the mood strikes me. But I know I perform better in life when there’s a plan in place.

So here’s to starting PT this week and finally moving forward with recovery, as well as returning to a consistent lifestyle of training, however that may look.

Happy Valentine’s Day! May your Hallmark holiday be everything you hoped for. Please remember to buy your spouse/loved one/child(ren) a card and write a message inside. Trust me.

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I ask you –

Do you use an app to track nutrition?

What is your experience with My Fitness Pal?

Share your own PT story.

Day in Photos, pt 4 + Snow Notes

First snowstorm of 2022 was a rousing success, in my humble, North Texas, don’t drive on wet pavement opinion.

Also, I had just recovered from a stomach bug my generous mini brought home from school. Bless her heart. Every single year during Jan/Feb time frame, I inevitably contract some sort of digestive issue resulting in at least 24 hours of disgusting unmentionable symptoms. Truly an exciting time to look forward to. You may think I’m being dramatic, but I’m not. Every year for the past 10+ years. Like clockwork. It’s a running joke now. If you’ll recall, I was almost finished with a 31 day run streak in Jan 2021 when I got suspected food poisoning on the 27th. Run streak: busted. I could barely walk to the bathroom much less run.

Anyway, the photos. Who needs proper snow weather clothing when Crocs and a thin nightgown will do just fine.

Anyone else addicted to the popular game Wordle? Jason, I know you are! I’ve got two degrees and this is what I use them for.

Doing well!

As the day progressed, it got colder and snow-ier. We also found appropriate clothing, less pants that fit. Stop growing! If anyone is looking for me, I’ll be scouring all 3 local stores in search of ski or snow pants for an almost six year old.

Sledding for days

As my office and I were discussing the possibility of snow days, of course talk turned to driving on ice. I stayed quiet. Upon my coworker’s remembrance of the reason I don’t drive in this weather anymore, the next sentence ensued “…what kind of employer would make their employee drive to work in that?” Let me clear it up. No one except my own insane need to do what I felt was right made me drive that day. I felt a loyalty to people I worked with and for. Repeatedly they instructed me to stay home. Repeatedly I replied I got this. And we know how it ended. Now, I am thankful each day I believe in my heart there is nowhere I am more needed than to stay home when the weather turns bad. My family is here and I have nowhere to be.

Now excuse me while I patiently await the next round of snow days. After a weekend of 70 degree weather to make it really complicated.

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I ask you –

Do you play outside in the snow? I’d rather watch.

Wordle! Who else plays?

Give me your best snowman-building tricks!

Reunion Tour!

It doesn’t happen as often as we’d like but occasionally I get to catch up with one of my very best friends, Sam. She and I were inseparable for several years, especially during the formidable early-Navy days. In fact, it was a running joke how if you saw one you would see the other; even around people we’d never met before, our easy banter and knowledge of the other’s life led them to believe we’d been friends since childhood. The military has a way of helping you get to know someone really quickly. Because if you’re going to trust your life with someone, you best know a few things first. Anyway, Sam and I were thick as thieves. No word yet on any actual thievery but admittedly we did a lot of shady stuff. Don’t ask about the 4am inspection. We learned together how to navigate some really tough situations and live to tell about it. Sam was always my go-to for great advice. Even now, our conversations pick back up right where we left them. Those are the friendships I value the most. Can’t forget the Joker. We have countless inside jokes, memories of late nights and even later coffee dates, too many tears, and laughter that can be heard miles away. No matter our distance, a best friend like her is hard to come by. She hails from the great state of Illinois now; however…

Further good news is Sam may be visiting Texas in the upcoming months for some military required training and you know what that means! Batman and Robin Reunited!

Reminiscing about the Navy is like taking a manic car ride down a crowded street in Mexico. Let me improve your image. A clown car overfilled with good idea fairies on a dirt road between overgrown buildings surrounded by pedal carts. A hell bus, if you will. Different story for a different day. Being in the military is like living another life, like having a separate personality, like being one person in a skewed reality. At times, it’s lonely while simultaneously so loud you can’t hear yourself think. There’s no outlet. A constant circus meets board room. So if debilitating anxiety is for you, I’ve found the place!

Unrelated but on an equally uplifting note – Jamaica has a bobsled team for the 1st time in over 20 years!! Check out the full story here.

Everyone knows one of my all-time favorite movies is “Cool Runnings”; which, by the way, is more than 30 years old. Geez, I’m old. You can guarantee I’ll be tuning in to watch Jamaica hurl themselves and their light-as-a-feather bobsled down a sharp concrete chute in February. “It’s bobsled time!!”

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I ask you –

What’s your oldest friendship?

Will you be watching the winter Olympics?

Tell me a nickname your friends called you! Clearly, I’m Batman.

Drinking from a Broken Cup

I got this idea from Bossy Babe in her post The Lonely Block to check out the following website: London Writer’s Salon. I love following other bloggers who come across other avenues or groups to write in besides the standard local library group (not that there’s anything wrong with those).

Essentially, there’s a writer’s group via London Writer’s Salon that meets virtually throughout the week. It would be so nice to connect with other writers and just be. Wholeheartedly, I want to complete my book this year. And I know an amazing woman who is publishing her first book soon so she’s been a valuable source of information on what to do/not do. I shall pick her brain like any good friend would do.

mood improvement techniques

Since I’m not running, I guess now is the best time to get started on cover art, contents, and publication challenges. Really, though, this walking thing is garbage. My mood sucks, my digestive health is blah, and I’m still fighting to get into PT sooner than March. I’m going nowhere at the speed of my government-approved desktop computer. Good thing my building has no windows. I need to run!! My first question will be this: can I at least cycle? Give me anything more than walking! In related news, the constant pain is mostly gone. There’s only twinges and an occasional achiness now. Yay progress!

available at Amazon

Somehow I’m still maintaining a book a month. Don’t get excited, Kel. It’s just February. Recently I finished Matthew Mcconaughey’s book, which I originally purchased for my dad but he loved it so much he gave it back to me to read. The writing style was unexpected; however, it was a great book and I could hear his voice with every line. I remembered a time when I had “the drive” each day…I would listen to books on Audible. My favorite was listening to Anna Kendrick narrate her own story. Some say we bear a resemblance. Her sense of humor has me snorting laughing. Perhaps that’s our only resemblance.

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I ask you –

Have you ever published a book or some other publication?

What’s the last book you read (or listened to)?

Share some reading suggestions!

How God is Better than a Cup of Coffee

Like the coffee pot that beckons me from the comfy confines of bed, He speaks to my soul, enticing me to return to Him. To share a cup of coffee and a chat early in the morning before the world awakens.

Don’t check email until you check your heart.
Don’t turn on the news until later in the day. I guarantee it will still be there when you’re ready.
Protect your mornings like you protect your coffee cup, just as He protects you.

early morning magic

His reservoir never needs refilling – He refills mine. His endless love is like a direct tap to the machine. It never runs out. Like the routine, the ritual even, of making my coffee exactly the way I like it, He requires no standard except to worship Him with my whole heart.

Appreciate the smell and body of a well-seasoned coffee cup, listen as it pours into your favorite mug, moving your hand slightly to stir in the creamer and sugar source, then raise it to your lips for a brief sip of your creation. He appreciates who we are because He created us, in is image, perfectly imperfect, wonderfully made. He listens as we pour out our praise and petition, our goals and dreams, according to His perfect will. He moves His hand within our life, making all things new, even us, making the trees and flowers grow. We raise His name on our lips, the name of the Most High, of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

As the day goes on and I find myself drawn to a caffeine fix to make it through the final push of the day, His word reminds me to pray first. He listens intently and watches all knowingly. My path is His will.

afternoon details

Before I came to Texas, someone amazing told me not to drink the kool-aid of the Bible belt. This person tops my daily prayer list. If only you knew how freeing it is to put your hope in a higher power, the highest power. There’s a spiritual element in everything we do and touch. I pray for God to touch each and every life, but even more for those to willingly come to Him, with an empty cup and a willingness to be refilled. He has an endless supply of love to give. It never runs out. You were bought at a price. Inflation could never touch the debt that has been paid for our life.

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I ask you –

How many cups of coffee do you drink daily?

How do you take your coffee? Sugar-free vanilla creamer and SF cinnamon roll syrup.

Choose one: making coffee at home or patronizing a coffee shop.