Quit While Ahead, or whatever was said

It’s come to my attention that some of my posts lately have been lackluster and downright depressing. So, thank you to everyone who provided sound advice, a listening ear, and gentle patience while I navigated my mood. I love my job. But sometimes the people aspect of it is frustrating which causes me to enter a role I don’t always enjoy – being the voice of reason. Don’t laugh now.

In other news, I’m way ahead in this final course prior to entering the unique stage of the doctoral candidate. Unbeknownst to me, until you begin the dissertation process, you are considered a doctoral student, then when the dissertation courses begin, you transform into a doctoral candidate. Like a butterfly falling to its death. Yay me. As I have no idea what this process looks like, I’ll be sure to share my misery along the way.

Also, I agreed to coach an intramural volleyball team. Because I’m stupid. In my defense, it’s only twice a week for two months. The 2 months I’ll have begun the dissertation concept course. Details. I’m a master juggler, don’t you know. Funny thing is we had so many people interested in playing that we had to split the teams. I never expected enough interest to form one team, much less two.

Two teams: double the chance of winning! There is no quit – there is only win!

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I ask you –

Are you the voice of reason?

Do you have wildlife near your home?

Tell me about a time when you started something that went high and right.

(The post Quit While Ahead, or whatever was said first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Running and stuff

Getting closer to 20 mile weeks is such a blessing in my life.

Running: I’m loving the Altra’s and Flux shoes – my toes appear to be splayed appropriately and gasp I’ve had minimal pain. Definitely see the value in stopping running altogether for 6 weeks even if that stupid boot irritated me. I’m still taking maximum doses of Vitamin D to support bone health, can’t hurt.

For a long weekend, I made it to my favorite running place, the lake loop. Just kidding! This section was reserved for sharing how I got in a fabulous speed session around my go-to lake spot, but the weather was not cooperative. It went from 60° one day to 50° the next with a 30° wind chill. Alas, no run at all was accomplished. However, it will…soon!

Stuff: There’s 2 kinds of meetings I like: 1) meetings at coffee shops or ones that somehow include the expectation there will be coffee and 2) meetings I have coined the “Walk & Talk”, preferably when it’s gorgeous outside. Clearly, I just like coffee, and walking.

Other stuff: Mini continuously tries to give me makeup tutorials. I think she’s telling me something. Then, she steals my eyeliner which I have this massive rule about not sharing makeup. Alas, I have since purchased her own eyeliner. Again.

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I ask you –

How’s training for anything or nothing going?

Is your weather typical for February? The trees have started blooming from the unseasonably warm weather. Spring will be rough.

Tell me your preferred meeting venue!

(The post Running and stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Biggest Fan

Cinnamon brings heaven to the thoughts, for that sweet spice somehow is part of my soul. Perhaps through some good memory that sits in my dreaming brain, a memory without words that sparks joy from its scent. – Angela Abraham, @daisydescriptionari, March 18, 2021

For some time, I thought my favorite coffee was defunct because I couldn’t find it at any of the usual grocery stores. I may have panicked a little. So when I saw the Starbucks Brown Sugar Cinnamon, I was somewhat relieved that maybe I had found an alternative. It’s good albeit slightly more expensive than what I was purchasing. However, it appears to just have been a supply chain issue because I can order my favorite from Amazon, and surely it will return to store shelves eventually. Surely.

Blue Bell has always been one of my favorite ice cream brands. Yes, I know I wrote in a previous post that Braums was my favorite; however, I only rank it slightly above Blue Bell due to the extra creamy texture. Blue Bell is like my childhood sweetheart – never forgotten, classic, a part of my DNA. I’m not sure who created the Cinnamon Twist flavor, but I want to kiss them while simultaneously beating them with a big stick. It’s somewhere between a churro and the ooey gooey incredible middle of a cinnamon roll. I ate so much it made me very sick yet (as many of you know, I balance the non-keto world in terms of “is it worth the headache and migraine symptoms”) it was decidedly, unequivocally, do it all over again WORTH IT. It was so worth it that I have managed to turn most conversations regarding benign things into a discussion about how amazing it is. Trust me, I make it really weird.

Now, I shall return to work or writing papers or whatever I’m supposed to be doing whilst daydreaming about coffee and ice cream. Affogato, anyone?

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I ask you –

Do you enjoy cinnamon-flavored things?

Have you tried Blue Bell’s Cinnamon Twist ice cream?

Tell me your favorite flavor, of anything!

(The post Biggest Fan first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Purely Complicated

Backstory: A lovely woman asked me if I eat clean, presumably due to last year’s 30 lb weight loss. I explained it wasn’t necessarily “clean” but I do eat keto because it helps with migraine management.

The rest of the story: I began to consider what “clean” actually means. A clean lifestyle, specifically. It made me wonder if those who live clean, with a clear conscience, a gentle heart, a desire to help others, to make a difference, a manageable amount of stress, etc. live longer than others. Or have a different type of dynamic life.

As I began to consider my choices, decisions, and goals and then compare them to what weighs on me…I decidedly do not live a clean life. Perhaps this is why some things are arguably tougher than other things. Although I’ve always said the only person who has to sleep with your decisions is you, somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.

Somewhere I heard the following quote: “The potential you see in others is a reflection of your values, not theirs”. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times – disappointment is the hardest emotion to process because it’s innately personal to lift someone up to what you see in them but not feel devastated when it doesn’t go the way you envision. Disappointment is a complicated feeling.

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I ask you –

What does clean mean to you?

Do you agree regarding the quote about potential?

Happy Love Day! Hope it’s filled with overpriced chocolate and flowers.

(The post Purely Complicated first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Tired

The problem with “powering through” this final traditional course is that you (ahem, I) have failed to see the toll it’s taken on me. Like a slow burn, one may not notice the wick is gone until the candle goes out. When I’m taking it week by week, once I submit a paper, then I take a day of rest. With the power on always, it can be hard to see the light beginning to flicker. Until it goes dark. In taking strides to maximize my break before beginning the next course, to have 14 days off instead of 7, I just keep plowing ahead. And there are consequences for it.

Like the constant exhaustion. And the lack of restful sleep. Much like overtraining, it plagues me until I back off. And when I finally get a chance for uninterrupted sleep, it doesn’t feel like enough. My brain forgets to process the message that it needs to rest. Go to sleep, dammit! Hopefully by the time of this post, I’ll have realized it’s just a phase and sleep will have returned to a normal pattern. Or else I’ll have stayed up way too late to watch the Super Bowl. Priorities.

So instead of complaining, or continuing to complain, here’s a recent photo of mini with her ice cream cone. She gets it. Life is too short. Eat ice cream.

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I ask you –

Have you been struggling with sleep?

Do you tend to power through?

Favorite ice cream brand! Braums.

(The post Tired first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Which reminds me –

There was a whole week it seemed of rain and gloom and doom skies, followed by a whole week (now 2) of sunshine and nearly Spring-like temperatures. It was glorious! Obviously I took every opportunity to be outside, even if it was walking to random places to visit people I had no business with. Some of them I didn’t even know. Which reminds me – when I’m running outdoors during work hours, I realized I know at least one person at nearly every building; therefore, I know where the closest bathrooms are. This is important stuff!

Anyway, I got in several runs, even a 5k to round out January which is incredibly surprising since I only got cleared to run approx. 12 days before the end of the month. I barely made it. At Which reminds me – I’ve also completed a February 5k (via the walk and talk method…how I prefer to do business). Hopefully by the time of this post I’ve been able to get in at least 1 more run. The goal thus far is to run 3x/week. Some days I also do a strength workout, some days I’m extremely exhausted.

Which reminds me – intramural volleyball starts in March and our team is slowly taking shape. I declined participation; instead, I’ll function as assistant coach because our coach will be playing. I just didn’t think it was my best idea to play so soon after being told I could run. One or the other, Kel. I do play during the week and that’s good enough for me. However, I’m torn between trying out for the team just to prove I could play (and be selected) if I wanted to…or not trying out at all because I have nothing to prove.

This course is going swimmingly well. I’m more than halfway through – the grades are very slow coming in but I just keep writing until I get sick of it then hit submit. Thankfully, qualitative analysis is much better than quantitative analysis. For me anyway. The school auto enrolled me in the pre-dissertation course set to start late March. Which reminds me – if I want to have a full blown panic attack, probably best to do it before then because after that date it’s game on. So, essentially, there’s about 11 weeks remaining until I have to figure out my life and begin this whole “doctoral candidate” stuff. Student. Candidate. Whatever.

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I ask you –

What’s the weather like where you are located? Actual winter or summer?

Do you know where the nearest restrooms are?

Tell me something you’re reminded of!

(The post Which reminds me – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

The World Needs More Smiles

This woman inspires me to sing louder, love harder, and laugh for as long as possible. The impact she has had and still has on my life is immeasurable. Her smile! She’s more patient than I could ever imagine being. I hope she doesn’t mind my use of her photo here because she is simply the most beautiful woman I know and I want to share her joy with everyone I meet.

These goofballs – we spend a lot of time laughing at each other and alternately rolling our eyes. The gnome addiction is real. Very real. I find myself searching high and low everywhere I go for unique gnomes I can gift her. To be clear, I’m speaking of Parts, not mini. Mini has a collection of a thousand other things, she does not need any gnomes.

Sometimes it can feel like the world is completely mad. But, make an effort to smile. It’s lifechanging.

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I ask you –

Do you make an effort to smile often?

Have you and (anyone) ever owned matching pajamas?

Tell me what things you collect!

(The post The World Needs More Smiles first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I Have Questions

I’m always curious about what happens to prompt someone to step in wet cement. Accident? Purposefully? What if they were running from a crime scene and this is the killer’s feet? What if?!

Credit: twatwafflezzz_ via Instagram

Maybe there’s no question here except why not? I love the ability to share what I’m feeling, going through, have gone through, and all things between because someone, somewhere is dealing with the same. And maybe they’re ashamed or fearful. So I say the hard things only they think about. Occasionally I open my mouth in the wrong forum but I also hope my heart speaks for itself, that my passion shines through, and forgiveness is given freely.

Yet I still have questions.

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I ask you –

Have you ever stepped in wet cement?

Do you question most things? Everything? Nothing at all?

Tell me something good you have going on!

(The post I Have Questions first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Humorous Stuff

Not one to ever pass up an opportunity to be silly – a few examples below. I’m lucky my leadership plays along with my shenanigans.

Yes, awards are meant to be displayed but they’re not possible without the work, encouragement, and credit to those around me. 2023 was a wild year and I couldn’t have done it without the strong team around me. Really. This is all theirs.

Finally, it’s both a blessing and a curse that Parts works in marketing. Everyone and everything is fodder for jokes. We play too much. Amazingly, some questions did arise on how and where to vote for me. Although I’m humbled and genuinely surprised at the support, fortunately government jobs don’t work like this. And I had zero intention to run for this “office”, if you will.

It would be a shame if I was unable to run with all this pent up energy I’ve been experiencing. The actual volleyball intramural season is gaining traction, but I’ve made the right decision to coach/assist other coaches vs. play. Sure, the time commitment is still the same but I decrease the chance of injury by about 95%. My feet will thank me later.

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I ask you –

Are you a humorous person?

Have you ever coached a sport?

Share your best example of what not to do!

(The post Humorous Stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

But That’s Where I’m At

Vision Board Event – where dozens of people go crazy with glue, magazines, and colored paper. McK, Parts, and I are making strides toward doing more creative-type projects and spending time together outside of the workplace. Not too bad to start 2024.

Now, the random: Unbeknownst to me there is specific terminology within the academia field that eludes to transitional terms. For example, whilst completing the coursework associated with a doctorate, the student is called a doctoral student. Apt. However, once the student has completed the required coursework and has begun the dissertation process, the student is now a doctoral candidate. Fancy. Also, there is a special kind of nonsense for those of us who simply can’t live without education called a Postdoc. Just as it’s spelled, it’s what a ridiculous person would do after they obtain a doctoral degree. No thank you.

Also unknown to me is the option of applying for grants and funding to further the research portion of my degree. A quick search resulted in a few Veteran-related PhD grants, as well as several scholarships. No harm in completing the applications.

Finally, no matter what others (…me) might say about the loneliness of this process, I’ve made some incredible connections, including forming relationships with others who have obtained their PhD and gone on to become professors and/or researchers. At this time, I’ve been conversing with a woman who wrote her dissertation on a subject I’m extremely interested in and am considering how to mold it into my own dissertation. She’s been kind and generous with her time, something I value greatly. More to come.

Finally, I never thought I would see the day that a few 8-10 pg assignments seemed laughable. Remind me in a few weeks how excited I always am to start writing again.

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I ask you –

Any creativity-centered goals for this year?

Have you ever applied for a grant?

Tell me an absolutely ridiculous page length!

(The post But That’s Where I’m At first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)