Casual Requests

It’s been said – by me – the issue which originally prompts seeking counseling/therapy/(whatever misnomer you choose) is not the true issue. Sure, it is probably an issue, but the underlying stuff heavily influences that particular issue and until some of it is resolved, then the issue will continue.

It’s psychology 101. Really. Human nature merges emotions with feelings and physical stuff. It plays out nearly daily in our personal and professional interactions. I have no desire to judge; however, my professional position warrants evaluating the mission’s needs with simple ability to do the job. Believe it or not, it can get very nasty when emotions overpower logic. Who needs common sense anyway.

In nearly every conversation with myself, and with others, I seek peace. Sure, it would be ideal on a global scale but many a hearts have changed when starting on a small scale. It’s called incrementalism. I think of it often, daily, continuously. Peace…in my heart, mind, and life. I can sense I’m getting close. Still waiting, somewhat more patiently than usual.

Lastly, if I could use this, I would.

Please – tell me what you think can be revealed that is so damaging to my reputation.

Please – because I’m well aware of my unpleasant past and I’d like to make sure the story is correct.

Please – do tell which stone you intend to throw so I may point you to the weakest window.

Please – paint your picture of beauty and sunshine so I can be the villain in your story.

Please – don’t forget to leave a comment because you can kiss my…forgiving heart and war-strengthened resolve…goodbye.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you have any requests to add?

(The post Casual Requests first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

circa 1994

Some years are tougher than others. It’s been 30 yrs since my dad passed and this one sucked. Badly. Beyond being a scrooge and complaining about everything holiday-related, the I’ve-been-sobbing look just isn’t an award winning feature. No matter how “prepared” I am, nothing can stop the steam engine of grief. There’s not enough chocolate, or self care, exercise, or *gasp* coffee to vanish the feeling of loss. It sucks.

Grief looks different for everyone. This year was anger. Anger due to selfishness, anger from hurt, anger from words unspoken. Smiles don’t stop heartache. Sometimes I just have to sit in the pain. It doesn’t make me less or more than. It just means I’m feeling what needs to be felt. Tomorrow is a new day.

There’s no questions or comments here. Please know you don’t have to suffer in silence, or suffer alone. Always listening. 💜 Kel

(The post circa 1994 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Running and stuff

Getting closer to 20 mile weeks is such a blessing in my life.

Running: I’m loving the Altra’s and Flux shoes – my toes appear to be splayed appropriately and gasp I’ve had minimal pain. Definitely see the value in stopping running altogether for 6 weeks even if that stupid boot irritated me. I’m still taking maximum doses of Vitamin D to support bone health, can’t hurt.

For a long weekend, I made it to my favorite running place, the lake loop. Just kidding! This section was reserved for sharing how I got in a fabulous speed session around my go-to lake spot, but the weather was not cooperative. It went from 60° one day to 50° the next with a 30° wind chill. Alas, no run at all was accomplished. However, it will…soon!

Stuff: There’s 2 kinds of meetings I like: 1) meetings at coffee shops or ones that somehow include the expectation there will be coffee and 2) meetings I have coined the “Walk & Talk”, preferably when it’s gorgeous outside. Clearly, I just like coffee, and walking.

Other stuff: Mini continuously tries to give me makeup tutorials. I think she’s telling me something. Then, she steals my eyeliner which I have this massive rule about not sharing makeup. Alas, I have since purchased her own eyeliner. Again.

________________________

I ask you –

How’s training for anything or nothing going?

Is your weather typical for February? The trees have started blooming from the unseasonably warm weather. Spring will be rough.

Tell me your preferred meeting venue!

(The post Running and stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What Frustration Looks Like + A Moment of Joy

Some days just suck the life right out of you. It’s like the universe has found a way to keep you humble. I probably go through this cycle at least twice a week. Hello, humility, my old friend. But it really puts a damper on my faith in humanity, especially when it becomes so laden with negativity and completely ridiculous requests. We’re a needy, selfish society. We’re human. But, sometimes … I just want to slap some sense into people!

Nonetheless, I take a long walk, ponder, pray, consider throat punching a few folks, keep walking until it passes, and then reach my destination with a big smile because they have no idea I wanted to kick them in the shins. If only they’d let me sit closer in that meeting…

My muse explained how moments where you can just “be” are vital to strong mental health and staying grounded when life gets out of control. Just be. But what does that look like exactly? In a changing perspective of how to get to yes, it feels almost impossible. And why do I have to get to yes? Yes is hard and has responsibilities. I don’t want to get to yes. I want to say no! Alas, bending whilst not breaking is an art I have yet to perfect.

You know who does have life figured out? That beautiful woman above. In my eyes, she walks on water. She probably has wings hidden beneath her blouse. Her smile is everything to me. And I’m pretty partial to the mini me standing beside her, too. It was a short visit but one that my heart remembers long after we’ve left. What’s to be frustrated about at 95 yrs old?

Which reminds me of sitting at a restaurant some nights ago. A lovely older woman walked in with cash in her hand and a big smile on her face. For whatever reason, I looked up, made eye contact, and smiled back. Because the world needs more happy people. She walked directly over to me and said “He wants a burger and look at how I’m dressed!” I assumed she meant her spouse or someone who had driven her. As she opened her coat and showed me her wrinkled attire, I smiled and told her she looked beautiful. She replied, “Well, at 94, I don’t think anyone will notice!” She waved as she left with her to-go order.

I’ll probably never see her again but it’s a joy when someone comes along and brightens your day without any ulterior motives. Maybe it is possible to just be.

___________________

I ask you –

Is there a phrase that resonates with you?

How often do you want to kick someone in the shin?

Tell me your thoughts on being 94/95 years old! I hope I have a false cane to whack people with!

(The post What Frustration Looks Like + A Moment of Joy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Old Macdonald Had a Farm

Throwback to the country and Fall 2020.

Running on Fumes

Still running, still training, still finding funny stuff to share with you all.

On today’s episode of crazy things you find in Texas, let me introduce you to exhibit A. When running isn’t going your way, slow to a crawl and find humorous photo opportunities. Guaranteed to make you feel less guilty.

In a society of “let’s name everything!”, why should anything be exempt? We name our land – hello, Kel’s Corner -, our creeks, our pets, and, sometimes, even our alternate personalities. No judgement. You should try it sometime. Join the club. It’s fun in here.

You know you’re in the country when road lines cease to exist. It’s just you and 2 ditches. Thankfully for me it was a dry day and I could sit in the middle of the road, prop my phone up against…

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Just a Few Thoughts

Actual conversation with my mini while working from home aka sitting outside in the sunshine, computer in lap:

Mini: Look, Mom, these are my babies! (pointing to 3 swings on the swing set)

Me: 3 kids?! How do you keep up with all of them?

Mini: I don’t know. This one is named dirtbag.

Me: Honey, that’s not kind. Dirtbag is a derogatory name for someone who is acting dumb.

Mini: Well, that baby is dumb!

And this, friends, is just another example of why I’m unqualified to be a parent. To my knowledge, I’ve never used the word dirtbag around her yet she did use it in the correct context. Minus the baby reference.

Then a few days later, mini was outside yelling at the top of her lungs. When she returned inside, I asked what it was all about and she said squirrels were stupid. After giving her the mandatory ‘we use kind words and stupid isn’t one of them’, I showed her the photo below. The look she gave me was one for the record books. Are you stupid?

Lastly, it seems I’ve been watching too much Pioneer Woman (mini adores this show). As I was working on the blog in the wee early morning hours, I had an urge to make jams and jellies immediately followed by this thought: Kel, you know that emoji with the wide open eyes and incredulous look? Yeah, bad idea.

Also, I’ve changed my mind about the Texas Triple. Specifically, running 3 half marathons back to back. More specifically, 3 half marathons back to back in one weekend. It’s starting to get hot and I’m somewhat worried about what I’ll feel like. Since I can’t predict the weather. Then there’s the toll training is taking on me and my feet. My poor, beaten feet. Feet issues aren’t new, but the constant pain is draining. All this being said, one good thing is my desire for a shiny new PR! I want to run a fast race; why shouldn’t it be sooner rather than later?! This particular training cycle has really shown me what I can do. And I’m going to capitalize on it!

So I guess I better get started re-working my training plan to account for some extra days. Suddenly I find myself with extra time on my hands.

___________________________

I ask you –

How much coffee do you drink on average per day?

Fan of chalk?

Taking bets on a PR time improvement goal! Dec 2019, I had a 10 min PR. Goal is another 10 mins in 2021.

Project Uno Completion

A story in photos. What began many months ago, I finally completed. Procrastinating much? In my defense, the weather has been less than cooperative. And what started out easy in theory was slightly more complicated in application. Stupid wallpaper.

Like my yard ornament stake? I’m a genius!

I certainly realize my readers could be wondering what the big deal is? There’s no deal. It was just an idea to channel some creativity into a tangible result. There’s another project in progress, as well. Stay tuned!

I ask you –

Thoughts on wallpaper?

What was your last project?

I’m taking guesses for my next big reveal!

The Apples are Falling

In speaking to my mini human the other night, she was practicing unscrewing a bolt from a nut. Cue the lost your marbles jokes. She was asked how did she get to be so smart and she calmly answered something along the lines of “just like Mommy” or “Mommy taught me”. As flattering as this sounds, it really got me thinking.

I tend to shy away from labeling anyone ‘smart’; as a child, it wasn’t a compliment to be called smart. Probably because smart was a prefix to ‘alec’ or ‘ass’. Smart was often synonymous with being taken advantage of and having a group of friends that maybe not were real friends. I did well throughout school. Top 3 in both middle school and high school. My graduating class totaled less than 30 – don’t give me too much credit. Yes, I mean three-zero. “Smart” meant I received several scholarships which I am most grateful for. But there’s a dark side to being smart.

It did absolutely nothing for me when I went to college. I had no study habits because those smarts gave me this false belief college work would come as naturally as it had all the years prior. What a surprise. I didn’t know how to take notes. I didn’t know how to follow along to a lecture and extract the important pieces. I struggled. A lot. In my mind, being smart would carry me through 4 years and I’d emerge with this fabulous degree. You can laugh at any time. I am. Smart meant peanuts in college.

I had to learn how to study, how to succeed in a higher education setting, and how to do what worked best for me to get through. I made it. But, again, it was a struggle. So being smart? It’s just a word with a whole lot of promise and no deliverance. And I don’t like to call anyone such lest they learn the struggle like I did. I prefer words like strong, brave, and a good thinker. These words mean more to me than the book smarts that would have failed me had I not quickly realized the only way I was going to make it to a degree was by my own merit. So whenever my mini does something extraordinary or I see her little mind moving as fast as it can to figure out a puzzle, I compliment her on her perseverance and determination. Those are the skills I want her to notice about me and others. That’s what I want her to believe she has inherited from me. Because supermodel beauty and above average talent won’t pay my bills. Unless you count humor. I could pay about $2.93 of the water bill.

If I paid myself!

_________________________

I ask you –

How do you compliment your child(ren) and self?

Were you truly prepared for any type of higher education?

Tell me you went to a huge school with hundreds of people! What’s that like?

Run for My Life and other things I consider

Perhaps the title can be amended: Run for My Life and other things I should (re)consider. As variety is the spice of life, so they say, running options abound, most especially when I have sworn to take a break. And, to my surprise, an email appeared in my inbox for the newest, to me, running opportunity. The Texas Triple!

In case you’ve forgotten, I ran the Texas Double end of December and had a splendid time. Establishing a new PR most certainly counts as splendid. Never mind the pain and suffering and blisters and sore muscles for days on end. Dramatic much? The chance of me completing 2 half marathons in 2 days was a generous 60/40. Ehhh, more like 70/30. I knew I could finish it if you discount the time goals, etc. But 3? In 3 days? I don’t know what percentage to attach to such a lofty goal but it may skew in the reverse range.

A part of me thinks I’m officially, certifiably crazy. As if nothing else in my life has been this crazy and I can personally attest to the fact it has. What’s the worst that could happen? Dare you ask, Kel! I’ve already had a DNF (did not finish) and I’ve already suffered a near heat stroke. Maybe I don’t complete the Texas Triple but I can certainly try!

Granted I’m not entirely sold on this idea yet. A training cycle for this type of endeavor would be unlike anything I’ve ever done before and will take a lot of coordination (read: dedication) to make it work. The race is Memorial Day weekend. In Texas. A craps shoot at best. A disaster, or a hospital visit, at worst. But what is life if nothing at all except to be lived. Emphasis on the living side of this.

I’ll keep you updated!

___________________________

I ask you –

Ridiculous idea or go for it?

Loyal readers, please steer me to anyone who has completed this craziness before.

Anyone willing to come watch me attempt it?

Cost of Fitness

Percentage of adults who participate in 30 minutes of daily physical activity: less than 5%
Percentage of adults who do not meet the guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities: more than 80%
If these trends continue, by 2030, 50% of all US adults will be obese (half=115 million).

Average Monthly Cost of our Daily Necessities: I use the term ‘necessities’ loosely.

1 cup of coffee at a national chain: $63

1 haircut: $43

Dining out: $232

New clothing: $50

Alcoholic beverages: $40

1 used car payment: $381

Mortgage: $1500

Utilities: $250

Everything above this line is a necessity. We must drive to work, pay our bills, and take care of ourselves. But what about our body? Is your body a necessity? Allow me to rephrase, please, in case you didn’t quite understand where I was going. What’s the use of all these necessities if you don’t have a body to live in? Who is taking care of your BODY? Such a simple, four-letter word and we still don’t get it. If you’re not healthy and living each day in the best health you can be, then where is the necessity of all your necessities?

You’re in luck. Whoohoo! I can solve this riddle –

Average Monthly Cost of a 24/7 access membership to a facility offering you the ability to work out at over 4,000 other locations, train according to a customized curriculum designed for results, and receive the support required to notice those results: $178

Everyone has a price tag. What is yours?

_______________________

I ask you this –

If money was not an object, what would you spend the most on?

Is time your most valuable commodity? If not, what is?

What do you currently spend the most on in your life?