Re-Post: Bamboozled

(While I’m away from the desk, I will be re-posting a few of my previous posts in an effort at entertainment and continuity. Enjoy!)

What’s another word for bamboozled? Let me tell you a little story –

There once was a little girl who began to come home with self-reported blurry vision and headaches. Her mother was very worried and made an eye appointment with a trusted optometrist. The closest appointment wasn’t for a few weeks so the girl’s mother called several times to ask for cancellations and open slots. Lo and behold, an appointment opened and the girl was able to be seen about 10 days before the originally scheduled appointment.

The little girl was so happy. She behaved extremely well during the exam and dilation process. But when the doctor arrived in the room, he explained there was nothing wrong with the girl’s eyesight.

But there is a behind the scenes story not many are privy to. You see, the girl’s entire family struggled with vision issues. Nearly all wore glasses or some sort of eye correction. So when the girl complained of eye problems, it came as no surprise.

Further, the girl’s eyesight seemed to change nearly daily. Sometimes she requested to sit closer to the television because she just couldn’t see. Other times she seemed fine and would sit further back. The lack of consistency in her vision was puzzling. One minute could see a sign in the distance, the next not so much. Her mother began to wonder.

When the doctor said he couldn’t find a reason for the girl’s inability to see, the mother accepted it as truthful. After all, the girl had been examined with multiple instruments, including dilation and had taken special pictures to see the entire eyeball. Fascinating really. The only thing the doctor could come up with is perhaps the girl needed a slight prescription for readers. The girl was overjoyed at this news.

Later that evening, the girl went to pick out her new pair of glasses. As she gleefully examined things through the lenses of her beautiful blue light glasses (note: blue light glasses, not readers, not a pair of glasses with any Rx tied to them), she proudly explained to anyone who would listen how her new glasses helped her see. Suddenly she was running again (which she had stopped doing for fear of falling). She showed off the glasses to strangers and asked photos be sent to all her relatives sharing her blue spectacles.

During homework that same night, the young girl read every word easier than ever. Seems blue light glasses solved her every concern, as well as knowing her many friends who also have glasses would welcome her with open arms into their exclusive club. Her teacher would be so excited for her. Her family’s admiration would live on endlessly.

The placebo effect is real. If you don’t believe me, just ask my mini. She’s an expert!

________________________

I ask you –

Did you ever bamboozle your parents?

Do you wear spectacles?

Tell me your thoughts on the placebo effect!

(The post Bamboozled first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Update, finale

I was able to run on Monday morning which was truly the highlight of my workweek. It wasn’t blistering hot and I managed a few easy miles that I knew would carry me over until I could either run again or make it to volleyball mid-week. The volleyball happened first. We had a huge turnout with a few new faces and enough players to have 3 teams. My little volleyball dream has morphed into a following.

Mini attended a beach birthday party with a new friend, played too hard in the swimming pool, and spent her last 2 days in Cali on the couch resting. Indeed she looked exhausted at the end of the week when Spare Parts and I made the trek to retrieve her from the airport. Also, she immediately ran right past me into Part’s arms so I put her in her place. As I stood there dumbfounded. The nerve!

In doctoral news, this current class may be the death of me. No jokes. Despite being incredibly thankful the professor has painstakingly answered every question I have – soooo many of them – I still don’t know what to write to satisfy each module’s requirements. I would love for it to be more generalized so I can write the way I typically do; however, the expectations are so specific that it makes it feel impossible. I know there’s a lesson in this but right now I’m wallowing in stress and self-pity. Just a short time remaining until the sand and sea call my name from a balcony overlooking the ocean. In the meantime, mini will be glued to my side, talking endlessly, and entertaining me with her own brand of humor.

I hope I make it.

Finally, thank you all for tuning in these past 8 weeks for my sanity check during mini’s summer adventures. School will start soon enough and surely I’ll be regaling you with that experience. Hope you have an incredible Monday!

__________________

I ask you –

Have you ever attended a beach birthday party?

What’s something funny you’ve heard lately?

Tell me about your most recent struggle.

(The post Summer Update, finale first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Update, wk 7

So close to the finish line. This course, however…sheesh.

There are times when I will do literally anything to find a way not to write. Fortunately, it’s not often but some days are tougher than others. I’ll do things I absolutely hate just to avoid writing. With an upcoming vacation on the horizon, I feel a lot of pressure to get ahead in this course and write papers back to back. My mind is not cooperative. If I have to complete a paper while basking in the ocean breeze, so be it. But my mental stamina is suffering right now contemplating writing anything more than the bare minimum. Hopefully it’s just a phase.

What’s funny about July’s Book Club book is that no matter how much or how little I try, I will forever be attracted to the ocean. It calls to me like a siren song of proportions I cannot fathom. Or maybe I’m just ready for a vacation.

In other news, I received an invitation to return to game night! If you’ll remember several weeks ago, there was concern my Sailor mouth would ban me from all civil company. Alas, I behaved myself (minus the winning part, of which I did, of which no one really liked). So odd. This time I proudly announced “I came to win!”. No confusion there. And, Spare Parts won this time. We’re a bit of a force to be reckoned with.

Mini had an opportunity to attend VBS since she missed both Texas and Tennessee’s sessions. She makes friends like I do – presumably by talking too much and dragging them along on her adventures. It works for us. She has also befriended a much younger girl whom she reads to and plays in the pool with. Henceforth, I am prepared for inquiries for a baby sister when she returns. To be clear, we’ve had this discussion several times and my appropriate Naval answer is always “that ship has sailed.”

Sailed. And then sank. No possibility of recovery. She’ll just have to embrace being an only child. Somehow I have no doubt she’ll find a way.

___________________

I ask you –

Do you play board or card games? We played dominoes and spoons.

Are you the talker in your friendships/relationships?

Tell me your only child advice!

(The post Summer Update, wk 7 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Angels and Stress, an Unlikely Relationship

I had an epiphany one (very very early) morning as I was thinking about and missing mini. Some parents describe their child as an angel, not necessarily in behavior (because liars) but just in the term of endearment way. I highly doubt I’ll ever use the term angel when speaking of mini and not because I don’t love who she is. But who she is isn’t angelic – she’s fireworks, she’s lightning, she’s demanding of time and attention, she makes you question yourself and everything you believe, she’s inquisitive, she’s HILARIOUS, she’s witty, and she’s brave. I could go on. She forces me to evaluate the little things. She encourages me to face my fears as a parent and as a woman. She’s my biggest fan and strongest critic.

Peanut butter whiskey + Cranberry = Liquid PB&J: also an unlikely relationship

You know who else is my biggest critic? Yours truly. For example, I received a deduction of 3 points for a Wk 1 discussion post regarding federalism and intergovernmental relationships. Remember last week when I said it was absolute garbage of a post and I lamented how I had been sooooo hard on others? Hello, pot. Meet my new friend. Here I was – down on myself for missing the mark, for not achieving a perfect score, blah blah blah. Sometimes I really must make a concentrated effort to remember that absolutely no one cares! It’s 3 measly points and impacts nothing. I still got an A. And do you think anyone will ever ask me what grade I got in the course? I’ll let you decide.

Lastly, throttling my desire to research the most obscure of topics and concepts is not fun. Whilst searching for an appropriate topic in my current course – Intergovernmental Relations – I found many topics I’d love to delve into but considering my past investigative history I thought it best not to. Ugh. Indeed I love to argue points not traditionally considered commonplace but I don’t fancy explaining them to the authorities. Alas, I’ll just find a vanilla topic and press on.

This final class to round out the 1st year is giving me a run for my money. Stress levels – maxed out.

__________________________

I ask you –

What was your last epiphany?

On a scale of 1 to put me out of my misery, how interesting do you think intergovernmental relations is? Negative 7.

Tell me a stress solution!

(The post Angels and Stress, an Unlikely Relationship first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Update, wk 4

Hold on, I have to scroll through my photos to remember what the week looked like. Ok, here we go.

First, it was a long weekend in celebration of Juneteenth. Mini literally spent every day on an adventure and swimming in the pool.

SeaWorld!

I love this age for her because she has so many stories to tell and perspectives to add to where she goes. Her emotions are always clearly written across her face.

Me? I wrote over 35 pages in under 72 hours. It was a lot. I knew the weekend would bring an inability to write anything – hello, recital – so I made the most of my time. Also, we attended an outdoor concert, the final one of the season. At first, there was huge concern because the TX temperature is soaring past the 100° mark. As heat is a no go for me, I brought multiple cups of ice water – alas there was a shady spot and a breeze. Win win.

Hellen Bach!

We played some volleyball Wed/Thur! Kylee, that statement is just for you. Unfortunately, I’m old and tweaked my back resulting in horrendous back spasms. It will take a week to recover and then I can tempt fate with the upcoming mud volleyball tournament! Because I’m dumb and don’t learn lessons.

Mini returned with a wooden turtle we named Hammy and the best hugs and kisses! She even practiced volleyball before the Thur night event. As she fell asleep, she said “I love you, mama. Thank you for letting me practice with you.” One day she won’t call me mama anymore, she won’t snuggle as close to returning to the inside of my body as she can get – but my baby she will always be.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Is a daily adventure your kind of fun or do you prefer a slower life?

What have you been doing lately for exercise?

Tell me some alternative back spasm remedies!

Summer Update, wk 3

By the time you’re reading this, mini will be but a few days from my arms. Missing her is hard. Technology helps.

She ate snowcones and messed around, in true summer fashion. As she should!

Me? Well, I spent some of the week busy, accomplishing lots of things I can’t remember now. The other half? I was grumpy and had to be talked off the ledge a few times.

I spent most of my days like this (and I let the four letter words fly) –

Sometimes we let the less-than-best sides of our emotions get in the way; other times, life runs smoothly. I did retrieve mini’s recital costumes and was able to play 1 volleyball game. Due to player illness, we didn’t make it to the second opportunity but it’s probably for the best since my knees still look and feel like I’ve spent too much time on them.

Alas, it also looks like the triple digit temperatures are here to stay so that means an end to running outside. Good thing I just completed the training plan. Ugh.

Cheers to a better week!

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Have you had a snow cone lately? What flavor is your favorite?

When was the last time you flew off the handle?

Tell me something amazing you have going on this weekend!

Phone Photos

Found a bunch of random photos in my phone so here we go:

This is how I know mini was left unsupervised in my office. Who was supposed to be watching her?

When you’re doing 2 workouts a day, your entire laundry basket is shorts and sports bras.

When I spent my niece’s graduation gazing longingly at their gymnasium bleachers and wanting to know the brand so I can beg the government to fund them.

My work bestie and I running everything, including our mouths, attitudes, and being generally obnoxious.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Have you ever had to delete photos to make room for others?

Does your laundry change with the seasons?

If one more person asks if that’s my daughter…

Summer Update, wk 2

Mini’s Californian vacation has closed out its second week with the following results:

She volunteered at the Rock n Roll San Diego Marathon and Half Marathon which required her to be happy at a very early hour and encourage all the participants to stay hydrated. Later she stated it was awesome!

Spare Parts had a fabulous idea to propagate roses using only a random TikTok video for reference. It included cutting rose stems, shoving them into a potato, and planting the whole mess. Her parting words were “…now we plant them and hope we don’t grow potatoes!” We both had a good laugh.

Parts bought me this nifty egg-boiling contraption called … Nifty Egg-Boiling Contraption. I made that up. It actually works!!!! It’s made of something smart that tells me when the eggs are adequately hard-boiled, or not. There’s no in between. Although it probably serves a better purpose for weirdos that want eggs basically raw (ahem, McK), I’m still using it because it’s fun.

Finally, Kelly Crocker was enticed to make cookies. I haven’t had raw sugar and flour in so long I didn’t even recognize the taste! Alas, one miniscule taste was all I had. Dare I say removing sugar, flour, and mostly all carb-y things from my diet has made a world of difference. Yes, it’s difficult to say no but I know myself well enough to know that if I indulge once then it’s a long fall to the ground and an even longer amount of time to get back up. I choose to live vicariously through others.

____________________

I ask you –

Have you ever volunteer at a large event?

When was the last time you baked?

On a scale of 1 to that’s-never-going-to-work, do you think the roses will actually grow?

(The post Summer Update, wk 2 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Update, wk 1

Wk 1 of mini’s Californian vacation –

I watched trashy albeit hilarious movies. Huge Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin fan. No, I don’t care about her past. I played on my phone for hours and got zero accomplished. Maybe I wrote a little. Maybe I didn’t. And I lost my voice, presumably attributed to the previous 2 week’s battle with allergies and a summer cold. Moms don’t have time to be sick. And we all know I need a voice when mini is around. Can you imagine? When I think about trying to parent her sans voice, I recognize the propensity for her to be leading a small country. Hmmmm. Maybe she’s the secret weapon to domination. I’ll tout this idea to leadership.

Additionally, I played nearly 2 hours of volleyball, got invited to play on a team for the remainder of the month, and ran. I ran a lot. Eventually my voice came back and people stopped avoiding me. Mini, on the other hand, is enjoying a semi-heated pool, new friends, and probably all the Youtube she could dream of. It makes me laugh when I think of how well-traveled and blessed she is; she really has no idea. While I sit here and go a little crazy with worry, she lives her very best life. Life is a little funny like that.

Miles are a cruel and unforgiving mistress that take nothing else into account but distance. So as I rack up the miles, in June no less, I try to fill my time with papers and plans. This week’s paper wasn’t so bad but next week’s has turned into a sweltering dumpster fire of garbage. Hot flipping garbage. But I’ll get an A. It’s what I do.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Do you prefer funny or serious movies?

When was the last time you lost your voice?

I wonder what semi-heated actually means. Slightly above freezing, I presume.

It Keeps Happening!

Can I just tell you I’ve never been more worried – and that’s saying a lot – than when I was researching leadership styles and an article I was considering using popped up in Russian. My brain: well, this is how it ends for you, Kel.

Buzzwords are the bane of my existence. Using key words to research and filter through the amassed collection of literally thousands of journal articles, I’ve discovered it’s easier to find articles relating to resilience (current buzzword) than self-confidence (no longer a buzzword, I guess). Although I deeply love anything related to resilience – I instruct resiliency methods nearly weekly to military and civilians – the art of the buzzword is not lost on me. Indeed, it makes perusing journal articles either very productive or very frustrating.

“One of the most precious gifts you can give your family is being emotionally secure and healthy.” I received quite a few responses and some incredible feedback regarding last week’s post about family drama. Nearly every time I’ve encountered others with conflict in their personal lives or in the process of healing relationships with loved ones my question has been…Do you have a therapist, a counselor, a mental health person you can confide in? Trust me – the work they do can be life changing and, sometimes, life saving.

On the note of personal lives, the baby niece I slept on a couch for over 12 hrs waiting to be born – she graduated. I am unwell. She looked gorgeous and relieved. Her mom cried a lot. And the ceremony was short . Alas, time is a thief.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Have you looked up anything crazy lately?

What are your current buzzwords?

Tell me if you know anyone graduating soon!