Mama + Mini

Nov 2023

Found these matching shirts at a yearly tradition, Hangar Holiday. Many years ago it was actually held inside a hangar but it outgrew the hangar and it was difficult to coordinate community access. Now, roughly 30,000 people congregate inside an event center and shuffle their way around 250+ booths. Oh the anxiety.

Circa May 2018

Anyway, someone recently mentioned that a blog is like a digital diary. I believe the point of the mention was to keep close your precious memories and not feel the need to share everything; however, that notion directly contradicts the entirety of a blog so here we are. Although I don’t share everything on here, I try to put the important things on paper for posterity purposes only. Righhhht. Mini still holds my hand, still says I love you at the most random times, and still shares the important goings-on in her life and I still soak them all up, even at times of complete frustration because I know these are the memories I will hold tightly to when she embarks on her own away-from-home adventures and when she no longer wants to wear matching shirts.

But that’s not today so I’ll keep sharing!

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I ask you –

Have you ever had matching shirts with a friend or child?

Do you own a diary? As a child, I did.

Tell me your thoughts on writing for posterity!

(The post Mama + Mini first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post: I’m Not That Mom

I’m a little overwhelmed from my return from beautiful Baltimore so please enjoy this repost until I have something new to share. Don’t be mistake – I have TONS of new material, I just don’t have a moment to put it in words just yet because I’m busy writing a paper that spans from 15-47 pages and includes tables with absolutely no direction, headings, or context. I promise to return to my regular funny self in approximately 7 calendar days. -Kel

…that creates elaborate birthday parties

…that can do more than two basic hairstyles

…that allows sleepovers outside of immediate family

…that has much patience with simple directions

…who is more focused on grades than kindness

…that believes in yelling or spanking

But I am that mom who –

…wakes up worrying

…over plans a weekend then accomplishes one thing

…enjoys watching my baby sleep beside me because I have no boundaries

…insists on the application of sunscreen

…prefers clothes to match

…can be overcome with laughter and forget to be mad

…asks for kisses and hugs

A polarizing topic, at best, is the way I was raised and the relationship, or lack thereof, I have with my own mother. As a parent, I know she was probably doing the best she could. But it has impacted our ability to relate and connect. As much as I love mini, I don’t believe we were ever designed to be best friends, as some parents refer to their children. I think the idea of being friends with your children is dangerous and potentially damaging due to expectations that will never be met. I’m her mom and that’s a big enough task, in my opinion. Friendships should be what she cultivates on her own, according to her own terms, and in different seasons in life. I want her to always be able to come to me with anything, yet not as a friend but as a woman who gives advice, hugs, and proper discipline.

The mom life is tough. I’m certainly not discounting dad life, grandparent life, parenting in general. Mini is never far from my mind – it’s hard raising a decent human being while attempting to set a good example because that attempt is often thwarted.

Especially when it comes to sleeping in her own bed.

________________

I ask you –

Are you a gentle parent or a structured one?

What type of childhood did you have?

Take a guess: what are the odds she’ll sleep in her own bed now that she’s seven? 1 in 7.

(The post I’m Not That Mom first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos

Warning: language.

The 2nd time this has happened in as many months. I really need people to learn to park!

My wingwoman bought this for me in Copenhagen, Denmark. She said it instantly reminded her of me. She’s not wrong.

They gave me a paddle, of which I threatened to use on anyone within arm’s length! Seriously, though, it’s nice to be recognized.

Mini did some pumpkin patch things with her classmates. She even brought home a pumpkin! Now to convince her to carve it so I can have roasted pumpkin seeds.

_________________

I ask you –

Is there a particular phrase that resonates with your personality?

Do you like roasted pumpkin seeds?

Tell me what you have going on this month!

(The post Day or Week or Maybe Month in Photos first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Out & Abouts

The truly funny part about the title of this post is that it’s significant in the military realm to indicate ensuring the base populace is not out doing nefarious things during the witching hours, aka being kids as kids will be. For me, it just means a week or so of constant activities.

Starting with Oktoberfest in Muenster! Mini had the time of her life with the help of a very popular aunt duo. I received about an hour of uninterrupted time to myself to peruse the wares and engage in a rather inappropriate but oh so funny conversation with a pre-mental health/post-correctional facility turned earring designer vendor. I saw his uterus and his boo-bies. Don’t ask.

It’s finally feeling fall-ish in North Texas so every chance to run is on my list. Thus far, I make it out about 3-4 days/wk. Heaven on earth. The 40s are encroaching – I can’t wait!

Finally, I stayed up late one night to facilitate the usage of my facility for something called Midnight Madness which really just looked more like a lot of amateur basketball players going hard for a few mins, then walking a lot. The real problem stemmed from my decision to accommodate this event while also conveniently forgetting I had another event the next day and would be suffering from a severe lack of sleep. This is how I take breaks! Which turned into an even longer night than anticipated when ego overtook common sense and involved the use of uniformed officers. Exactly what I needed at 1am.

With the addition of my wingwoman, we made it through a very long week. And witnessed the eclipse!

Wingwoman!

Indeed, the Women’s Conference was a welcomed reprieve from the movement of real life. I had an incredible day with incredible women of faith and love; and I got to spend quality time with my sweet niece who I’m still struggling to understand is now an adult. Love is watching the people you adore grow up and into themselves.

Rise Up!

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I ask you –

Have you partaken in an Oktoberfest?

Did you see the eclipse?

Tell me about your week!

(The post Out & Abouts first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Moving Along

“You’ve come a long way from that lonely girl who would walk the third floor hallway by herself.” – a third floor resident. Why, thank you, kind sir. I believe you are correct!

Photo credit: Sheppard AFB

Each year, I’m humbled to run the POW/MIA 5k and share the stories of my grandfather. He truly was the kindest, most gentle man with a larger-than-life smile. The only smiles I think are more adorable than his are his sister’s (my beautiful great Aunt Mary Catherine) and my little mini. It’s difficult to run solemnly because his memory makes me laugh so if I was offensive to anyone on the track who was quietly remembering their loved ones or the many strangers who never returned home, I hope they know I meant no harm.

We had an impromptu car photo shoot after getting coffee together. It’s rare I’m the one to take her to school but it makes us both happy when I can. The dirtiest glasses she owns. I couldn’t see a thing beyond the smudges!

At the time of this post, I’ll be mere days away from completion of another 8 week course and ready to embark on the next. But not before a well-deserved 7 day break. There are no words.

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I ask you –

Are you involved in an annual POW/MIA remembrance tradition?

If you wear glasses, how often do you clean them?

Insults designed as compliments. Big fan!

(The post Moving Along first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Twilight Zone

All I know is if I don’t take a break soon, I won’t be able to juggle the plates any longer. There have been a few weeks of such confusion and utterly mind-blowing emotional stress that I’m honestly not sure how I made it through. It’s not even me! For nearly an entire week, there was a parade of people into my office who were really going through it. Boxes of tissues and phone calls to check up on them and just the overwhelming compassion fatigue it brings with it had me questioning my own sanity. Honestly, I felt numb, as if it wasn’t really happening. Because, of course, at the same time I was dealing with my own skyrocketing stress levels due to insane assignments, incredibly early mornings and late nights, the same fasted bloodwork two weeks in a row, and trying to balance my own physical needs. It was a lot.

Somewhere in here I need to get feet x-rays (update: those are done, will post more later), solidify the decision regarding a ball gown, and make a baby basket. Which I actually forgot about until…now. In other news, I’ve taken a few personality tests recently and can decidedly share that I’m a well adjusted, anal retentive Gold/Green (Four Lenses), with perfectionistic Type 1 (Enneagram) traits. So basically my insane drive for list making and efficiency suits me to a T. T is for try me. I can’t be mad. It’s just who I am and I’ve learned to embrace it.

My muse told me this fantastic one liner: everyone wants to be a General until it’s time to do General shit. Isn’t that the truth. Similar to current conversations: everyone wants to be an alpha until it’s time to be the alpha. Who am I to judge on whether or not they can or can’t actually be the alpha but I’m not seeing it.

(there should be a fun, lighthearted, catchy photo right here but I didn’t have anything)

P.S. the pity parade continued for more days past the time of this writing. My carpet was practically wet.

___________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever taken a personality test? Care to share your results?

How often do you clean your carpet?

Tell me your favorite saying!

(The post Twilight Zone first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

This May Not Be For Everyone

Disclaimer: this post may not be for everyone but, as I’m uber inclusive, read at your own peril.

It amazes me every single month how far removed I am from understanding my body. I get the basics, the ins and outs, the birds and the bees, all that. But somehow after having a monthly cycle for nearly 3 decades – 3 whole decades! – I still can’t get it right. I either “forget” it’s almost that time and am entirely unprepared OR I suddenly can’t calculate how often I’ll need to go to the restroom. And, my personal favorite, is when my body does this stupid switcharoo crap, like oh you should probably change your tampon around the hour 4 mark, then the next time it should have been hour 1 and I had zero warning. So there I am – bleeding out in the bathroom, trying not to pass out, frantically using every last brain cell to navigate how to make it to the shower or a change of clothes or bed…just so we can do this again in a few hours. This is really so much fun.

Let’s not forget how truly exciting it is to pee on your tampon string because they make that thing so short. Then it’s gross and wet and your clothes are wet and I’m just angry by this point. Additionally, have a micro dose of labor-like cramps. Because a week per month couldn’t be complete without those. The best part about the whole ordeal is no matter how many weeks between cycles, somehow blessedly I forget how terrible it is until the next one creeps up on me. Supplies!

Anyone remember when mini described tampons as running sticks? What about when, without warning, she tried to pull my tampon string out of me, then giggled like the 2 yr old she was? I do remember these events well. Now, I just keep telling her we’ll talk soon, avoiding a conversation I can only imagine will go something like this…”You mean, like every month? WHY?”

I sure hope other women out there are doing it right, never forgetting, enjoying pain-free periods, with dry tampons and a clockwork cycle. But, if not, you’ve come to the right place. Because I suck at being female. And lucky for all of you I have the ability to write about the trials of a monthly period on my famously infamous public platform.

_____________________

I ask you –

No catchy questions this time unless you have something enlightening to add here.

(The post This May Not Be For Everyone first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Girl’s Day Recap

While mini was enjoying her summer shenanigans, McK and I were planning things for us to do. Because of our genuine love for mini, we decided to wait on a few things and take mini on a girl’s day.

First up – Lip Lab in Frisco, TX

Actually – the first thing we did was eat lunch at Bread Zeppelin (catchy, right?). Hands down, best salad I’ve probably ever had. Mini got her salad stuffed in a baguette, which is the entire concept. As I don’t eat bread like that, I just got a bowl but I can see the draw.

Of course we visited a coffee shop. McK and I have been following the multiple locations of Ascension Coffee for some time – the location we really want to visit is in a converted church. Alas, we were near the Dallas Cowboys stadium so that’s where we went instead. I got the Keto coffee. Amazing. McK got a latte and stated it was delicious, Parts had a Salted Caramel Cold Brew. She said it was very strong but the salty flavor was nice. Amateur.

Mini told me to make certain faces. I obliged but she seemed a little grumpy at my interpretations.

Finally, the lipstick details.

I have jokes. No need to comment on my naming convention as I’m utilizing scientific research that states your ideal lipstick color is 1-2 shades lighter/darker than nipple color. Hey, it’s science.

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I ask you –

Have you ever designed your own cosmetics?

Do you like salt in your coffee?

Tell me your favorite coffee establishment!

(The post Girl’s Day Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Violence is not the Answer

Recently mini had to make the very difficult decision to continue dance or try something new, namely jiujitsu. If you’ll recall, her 4-yr plan (her words, not mine) has been ballet, tap/jazz, jiujitsu, then back to dance. In an effort to ensure she wasn’t getting into something she wasn’t prepared for, we signed her up for a 1 wk trial to see how she likes jiujitsu.

Night 1:

Instructor: Why do you want to do this?

Mini: Because I’m violent.

For all that’s holy, what in the world possessed her to say that. FFS. Good grief.

However, she stepped up to the challenge and proceeded to exceed expectations, considering she was sparring (I don’t know the terminology, I’m more out of my element than the dance scene) with boys yet she held nothing back. My girl. At the end of the night, she proudly proclaimed that yes, she did want to embark on a year-long journey with the jiujitsu crew. I shouldn’t be surprised because, for months, she’s been saying she wants to pound someone which has prompted many conversations concerning how we don’t pound people and that jiujitsu is not karate.

the faces of violence

Mini’s dad offered an interesting perspective. He said this would help her with her emotions. Personally, I see no cause for concern as she displays her emotions in a very adult-like way; she simply desires to pound things and I’m here for it. Same, child. Same. If that means learning effective ways to defend herself, then go for it.

And then she can sashay her little butt right on.

________________________

I ask you –

Are you self-described as violent?

What life lessons will jiujitsu provide mini?

Tell me what you do to prevent violent tendencies! Run. Run a lot.

(The post Violence is not the Answer first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post: Stumper and Stumpee

(The final re-post of the week as I will be returning to life and all its challenges soon enough. For now, great tan lines and some sand volleyball will keep me company. Reality will be waiting for me when I return.)

As soon as I saw the email solicitation to attend a visit by a two-star General, admittedly I got a little excited. Not only is she a wonderful speaker but she has made waves as a pioneering female with a knack for telling it how it is. The day finally arrived, amidst lots of venue changes and confusion on the attendee list. I had my ticket and I was ready.

Let me preface the remainder of this post: upholding my unofficial call sign was not my intention. However, this was designed to be a dialogue-forum type of event. With at least 150 people. Right. The facilitator had a list of questions she asked, then the floor opened for other questions. My hand instinctively shot up.

My original question had already been asked by the facilitator. I switched on the fly. Then something unexpected happened. Maj Gen Edmondson turned on me! Instead of answering, she posed the question to me. Again, I was forced to think on the fly. That’s not my forte. I’m a planner. Fortunately, the rephrased question was met with a heartfelt and genuine response about how such a successful and ambitious woman is able to stay connected with her children while navigating a fast-paced, highly visible, demanding job. She spoke of being present at home and carving out time to connect with her teenage daughter. She mentioned being a “gymnastics mom” which she stated is unlike anything she is comfortable with. For me, it was important to be reminded that all moms, no matter where or what they do, struggle with the same issues…missing events, getting home late, having to choose between what is attainable and what is not.

As the audience was heavily military, maybe civilians didn’t feel she was relatable. However, having once worn a uniform, she and I are alike. I suspect many others in the audience are, as well, even if no question was asked. I feel I represented my squadron well, but, more importantly, her answer united many people in what we are capable of, as mothers, as people, as part of the military.

Perhaps I did not showcase “Stumper” this time. But, I did take an opportunity to be seen by a woman whom I admire from afar. And she said the word balance is total BS. I couldn’t agree more.

_____________________

I ask you –

Do you attend work functions deemed “forum-type”?

Are you the first to ask a question?

Planner vs. Spontaneous: tell me about you!

(The post Stumper and Stumpee first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)