Graphs and Grudges

By the time you read this, I’ll be neck deep in all things resiliency. Which is a much needed break from…nothing. It’s a break from nothing.

Considering I practically sold my soul last week in order to create a bar graph in excel. Then I traded a byline on my dissertation to two people to create every graph I’ll ever need. For being as smart as I am, I’m really dumb sometimes. I have to leave something to others. You’re welcome. Write thousands of words? Done! Not become catatonic analyzing a spreadsheet? So sorry, I’m not the girl for it.

further proof I’m a whackadoo; credit: momsbehavingbadly via Instagram

After watching YouTube videos, phoning a few friends, and emailing the professor, I finally realized one mistake I was making. By correcting it, suddenly the numbers at least made sense. The chart part was still elusive though. I’m still not convinced I did any of this assignment correctly.

On the bright side, I am one class closer to graduation. Last week, I finished my first class. Overall, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. A tad frustrated at my professor’s feedback, but I guess I can get over it. No one will remember my frustrations in a few years anyway.

Not even me. Maybe. I’m good at holding grudges.

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I ask you –

Do you know how to create charts and graphs in Excel? Do you have time to teach me?

Exactly what is the best advice for the windshield conundrum?

Grudges: thoughts?

(The post Graphs and Grudges first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anatomy of Paper Writing

As this week has been the most stressful thus far, I’m offering some insight into the reasons why I don’t answer my phone, text back in a timely manner, attend social events, or do anything else really. Besides the fact I’m lazy. Here’s a typical day in the life of a doctoral student. Or maybe it’s just me.

4:02am – Coffee

4:06am – Open approximately 23 tabs of research articles and 1 word doc

4:10am – Try to figure out what I’m doing with my life

4:13am – Start typing

4:45am – Panic because I’ve forgotten where I was going with the million words crossing my mind

4:46am – Re-read everything previously written the past 32 mins

5:01am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to wake up before I decided to go back to school

5:02am – Panic again because the realization has set in I only have 58 more mins to type before I have to wake up mini

5:18am – Close one word doc and open another because I’m an idiot with overlapping classes

5:31am – Silence the alarm for the time I used to get up, back when mini didn’t go to school and I had a conscious thought process

5:42am – Check the due dates and put my head on the desk

5:43am – Sigh loudly, drink the coffee that’s now gone cold, and rethink my life choices

5:45am – Frantically type 250 more words in order to feel good about the perception I’ve done absolutely nothing the past 2 hours

6:00am – Contemplate requesting leave for the next 3 years until school is done

P.S. something terrible happened this past weekend and a file I had been working on went corrupt…kaput…a big middle finger to hours of work. No recovery software could save it. Alas, I cried. A lot. No one warned me I would be so emotional.

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I ask you –

Sorry. I have no questions. I’m typing this at an indecent hour because I totally forgot I hadn’t edited anything for the blog this week and I would feel bad for letting my readers down if I didn’t at least try to post something. So here it is. Something. You’re welcome.

(The post Anatomy of Paper Writing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Candy, Candy, Candy!

There’s so much candy in our office right now. Typically I can resist (it’s the donuts that get me), but I’m here to tell you that you need those brown Lindor truffles in your life. Snickerdoodle Truffles. I ate so many. Now it’s a never-ending pattern of candy and sweet treats until at least July.

Notice there’s no Twix in this bowl. Because I ate them all. And then went to a different office seeking more.

My stress levels have been incredibly high this past week so I did what any self-respecting individual would do. I worked extra hard to complete all my schoolwork and ate chocolate. Tis working for me.

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I ask you –

Favorite type of candy?

Have you tried the Snickerdoodle Lindor truffles yet?

Happy Halloween, everyone!

(The post Candy, Candy, Candy! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Halloween Spirit

What’s scarier than Advanced Public Finance and Budgeting? Except the fact I don’t recall taking basic finance and budgeting.

As I’m not really a spooky Halloween spirit type of gal, I could take it or leave it. But any chance of mini dressing up and she’s all for it. Somehow October kind of got away from me – now we’re less than a week away from Halloween. All I’ve done is purchase a costume and candy. But that’s pretty much the only requirement, right?

If you ever see me in a haunted house, just know I’ve been kidnapped; please call the authorities to rescue me. Seriously.

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I ask you –

Do you enjoy Halloween?

Thoughts on haunted houses?

Porch light on or off?! Off. We go to a different neighborhood. No naked neighbors for me!

(The post Halloween Spirit first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What’s Another Word for Concepts?

My readers have probably discovered by now I get a lot of writing material from listening to the radio. Radio is for the morning; earbuds (just music) is for running. Bobby Bones and his crew were speaking to a guest about her psychic abilities and what that meant for Bobby. I don’t entirely know his buy-in, but it was fun to listen to. So this prompted my own questions:

Psychic vs. Self Fulfilling Prophecy – As I’ve never been to a psychic or had any type of reading done, I don’t know the ins and outs of this process. However, suffice to say, a stranger with ability to see/hear/forecast your future tells you in the most generalized way possible what might happen. In my opinion, this is much like allowing a horoscope to dictate your entire day. Do you. My question is how many people create a self fulfilling prophecy by leaning on every word of a psychic? In case you’re unfamiliar, self fulfilling prophecy is when one expects something to happen and then inadvertently engineers it to happen (that’s the minimalist version, look it up yourself for the entirety). It’s actually really interesting to me because there is a psychological phenomenon property to it. Have you ever heard of women who “believe themselves pregnant”? It’s true. Our bodies and minds can do miraculous things. Anyway, I propose there must exist a connection between psychic conclusions and self fulfilling prophecy in the way we are told something could/should/might happen then it comes true because we made it come true. You can have your hypothesis and I’ll have mine.

Stability Before Resiliency – during our recent CSAF visit, Gen Brown visited with the Chaplains. One mentioned something to the effect of “we must focus on stability before resiliency”. Granted, I realize resiliency has become another buzzword for the military and probably for the public sector, as well; however, it is something I’m passionate about. As a Resiliency Trainer – and this time next month I’ll be traveling to receive certification as a Master Resiliency Trainer (fancy, right?) – I believe in muscle memory, most notably within the confines of psychological behavior. Though I’m sure we each have ideas on how soft the military is or how it “wasn’t like this when we were in”…nonetheless, times have changed and we must change with them. Teaching resiliency or at least bringing it up serves a higher purpose than a check mark on a to-do list. Off my tangent now. My belief is the Chaplain was referring to ensuring stability within an Airman’s life before incorporating resiliency. I don’t think he meant catering to what one wants to hear but focusing on their mental and occupational stability prior to expecting them to understand how to self-regulate and prioritize resiliency. I intend to study and use this idea during next month’s training as the possibilities and outcomes of such is notable.

I also need to stop writing like I get a grade for how many big yet theoretical words I use. Tomorrow. I’ll start tomorrow.

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I ask you –

Have you ever been to a psychic? What was the outcome?

Do you agree with stability before resiliency?

Somehow October is flying by. Tell me something awesome you have going on!

(The post What’s Another Word for Concepts? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Always with the Random Stuff

I was researching the hours away one morning when my mini decided to join me to “write her blog” as she put it. No idea where she got that.

As her little fingers diligently found home row keys with her warm skin pressed against mine, I marveled. She typed away while we talked about the things she’d been learning in computer class. At least they still learn proper typing techniques.

This same day my research consisted of a case study on Amelia Earhart. I brainstormed ways to bridge statesmanship with her love of flying. Really, I wanted to publish an author’s note about how I was going to tie these two seemingly wildly different concepts together but decided against it when I couldn’t come up with any phrase other than “let me land this plane”. My professor probably wouldn’t see the humor in such wording. Or maybe he would. Best err on the side of caution.

Squirrels: overgrown, bushy-tailed rodents. The one in this photo above buried his nuts in all the pots. You’re not a teenager, stop laughing. So he goes around uprooting everything searching for his lost nuts. Still laughing, aren’t you? If I owned a slingshot, he wouldn’t look there for his nuts. Cracked myself up. Get it, get it.

poor, dry fingernails

As most people do, I wear many hats in the office. Recently I was a baby lizard wrangler. My incredible co-worker, Ms. P., doesn’t like me to dispose of any living creature we find. Even the crickets but I do it anyway. However, I make exceptions for lizards. I relocated him outdoors. Funny how I got her a flyswatter and she’ll use that thing on anything. Hmmmmm.

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I ask you –

Do your children copy what you do?

Are you an animal saver?

From 1 to my-humor-is-wildy-inappropriate, where do you fit in?! I’m a 10!

(The post Always with the Random Stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Call Sign STUMPER

Allow me to share a story – it’s a long one. Have a seat.

In my (military, civilian, non-profit, etc) career(s), I haven’t had an opportunity to speak with anyone at the federal, national, even state level, to my knowledge. So when presented with such opportunity, I nicely jumped all over it. Some parts of this event were volun-told, but others were sheer chance alone. During a recent visit from the United States Air Force Chief of Staff, Gen CQ Brown, Jr., as hundreds of people crowded into an auditorium, I took my place about 5 rows from the front. Again, when would a visit from this official ever happen again? We were presented typical pre-speech information: don’t take selfies, turn your phone off, and (my favorite) here’s how to ask a question at the end. My friends and I made small talk, ahem, jokes. I regaled them with the story about the time I sang in front of the installation commander. Them: You can sing?! Me: Hahahaha no. On time as always the General arrived. He is a wonderful speaker, a seemingly humble individual, and a strong leader. His slides were short and his humor spot on. In many ways, he reminded me of my current squadron commander. I truly hope one day he, too, will grace stages with an entourage of security detail and big picture awareness. Approximately 30 mins later, the big QA session began. My hand went up before the words were out of the moderator’s mouth. I stood, politely introduced myself, and asked the following question: “Sir, as you have a high impact, high visibility position, what perception do you think we, as civilians and Airmen, get wrong about what you do?” Silence. Deafening silence. Suddenly I became the recipient of wild looks and laughter. The General began to pace the stage in silence. Finally, he answered. His answer was a well-rounded approach to being a father, husband, and son. He struggles with the same things we do. He worries about his children, now adults themselves. He sits around at night and can’t believe he gets to do what he does. I thanked him for his time so others could ask their questions. Fast forward to my office later – a conversation ensued between the Senior Leader and my supervisor. Cue the laughing. Unbeknownst to me, jokes of stumping the General were made on the surrey as he departed. I can only imagine my commander’s face. Kel, you need to stop speaking.

And that’s how I became known as STUMPER.

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I ask you –

Thoughts on the call sign?

Have you ever been laughed at?

Share your wild stories!

(The post Call Sign STUMPER first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Stupidity Does Not Stereotype

Most of you won’t recognize the players or situation I’m referring to, but it may ring true in a different part of your life.

Recently an apology was published in a local newspaper for the incredibly ill-timed and insensitive (mostly because of timing) article written in the days after a tragic car crash killed two young men. To my understanding, alcohol was involved and both young men were underage. The article – again, to my understanding, was written by the paper’s either owner or editor – went on about how stupid people make stupid decisions.

Unpopular opinion: the writer isn’t wrong. Small caveat: even smart people make stupid decisions. Stupidity doesn’t stereotype. Now, before you shoot the messenger, let me explain I’m sharing my opinion out of love and understanding. And in those two words (love and understanding) the truth is a hard pill to swallow. No one wants to hear how a vehicle accident that killed two people was their fault. No one wants to acknowledge it could have been prevented. No one wants to experience a situation where their children die because of a choice they made.

Again, I’m not defending the writer of the article. I am saying I should not be here due to many of the choices I made as a young person. Let me check the statute of limitations. Ok – as a teenager I drove after having consumed alcohol. I rode in a vehicle with others whom I knew were too intoxicated to be driving. I was underage in every one of these examples. I know several young people who were killed in car accidents involving alcohol. I also know a person convicted of manslaughter after he killed someone while doing something stupid while driving while intoxicated. Please believe me when I say I have enough experience to say what the two young men killed recently were doing was incredibly stupid. The article writer was not wrong. Insensitive, yes, but not wrong.

Families and local citizens are up in arms about the article. Upon the writer’s written apology, it seems to have gotten worse. I have no doubt the writer is sorry for their words. However, most seem to be angry because the article reads like a copy/paste of an obituary. Once again, what other option did the writer have but to Google the information? I suspect the writer didn’t know the family(s) personally. The writer was doing what he/she does: writes. Of course it’s a public forum – a local newspaper – but (correct me if I’m wrong) many of the citizens all but banishing the writer from the community use their social media platforms as a bashing and rehashing tool themselves. Pot, kettle. It’s ok for us to endorse or completely tear apart others in our lives, but how dare someone else do so? Maybe these are even the people who have stood behind a wack job of a presidency (not necessarily current, but literally all of them). Seems it hits a little differently when it’s close to home, right?

If we want to be better, then we must do better. Forgive. Be the bigger person. Make a difference in your small town or big city. Vote. Better yet – if you don’t like what someone says or writes, then don’t follow them…unsubscribe from their publication…move… whatever it takes. But just because you can’t see their opinion does not make it wrong.

Lastly, talk with your children (or adult children) (or anyone) about the consequences of drinking and driving. What do you think the two young men who died would say about their actions – I doubt they’d say “oh it was worth it”.

Disclaimer: I probably won’t write an apology post so if this offends, angers, hurts, or causes someone to unfollow/unfriend/un-whatever me, we all have choices and I hope you make the best one for you.

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I don’t have any questions or photos for this post because it was tough enough to type as is. Feel free to comment, if you’d like.

(The post Stupidity Does Not Stereotype first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Still Writing and Reading

I totally thought by spending so much time writing case studies and research papers I would not have it in me to write blog posts. Wrong! Herein lies the random things my brain circles around –

I wonder who watched an egg fall out of a chicken’s behind and thought we should try to cook it?! By the way, if you haven’t read the book Gladys The Magic Chicken then you are missing out! Fairly certain no one thought it was nearly as funny as I did. Even mini wasn’t laughing like me. Sometimes people miss the mark on humor. But not me!

I wonder how many people picked berries and fruits in long forgotten lands, then ate them and died? Oh dang it, John; guess we can’t use that one.

My very own claim to fame: that one time I helped a virtual stranger get accepted into his master’s program. To this day, I am still soooo proud of this!

The first time I ate Five Guys. As my very best friend, Sam, is also in the throes of her own doctoral program, she’s been in my mind lately. Also because when I need help she’s my first call. If you recall, Sam and I met in boot camp, then went to training school together, then went to Norfolk together, as well. We basically lived together for almost 3 years. Anyway, now we’re commiserating papers together. Huge digression here. Five guys. Our classmates in Pensacola kept talking about this hamburger place. Eventually one night we succumbed to pressure to try it. Spoiler: I’m not a hamburger fan, neither is Sam so we enjoyed the fries most of all. And then we never returned. Anticlimactic.

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I ask you –

What random things do you think about?

Have you ever eaten at Five Guys?

Name your favorite place to eat! Home!

(The post Still Writing and Reading first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Slow Down, Butterfly

Photo by Mathias Reding on Pexels.com

Within the past few weeks, there has been a ton of movement in my area of the governmental workplace. Not only have many chosen to retire, but there is now an ability to ramp up hiring. Truly I’m thankful my leadership understands my desire to lead and further my career goals. But I remember a time where I was hesitant to share what my actual goals were lest I seem unappreciative of the opportunity I had initially been given or it taken as a slight against their leadership. Crazy, right? Yet how often do we as employees think that way? Too many I suspect.

Sometimes I think the glass ceiling is real; other time it feels like a construct, an excuse why we don’t make changes. Hey, that’s the world we live in: every new phenomenon has a catchy name created by some whackadoo computer warrior wearing socks and sandals. No offense. As I’m always on the lookout for originality, I feel frustrated. What’s more frustrating is I totally forgot where I was going with this thought. Glass ceiling. Right. Poof. The moment has passed.

Anyway…as there’s never a right time to change jobs I hope the next few months prove fruitful for me. More responsibility, more opportunity, more people! For someone as introverted as myself, I sure do gravitate towards positions where the masses congregate. Back to my boss – he keeps me grounded (as best he can). Surely I am not the only social butterfly he’s ever lead; often he restrains me from becoming completely burnt out on how many activities I take on. It’s a full time job just dealing with me. Bless his heart.

I’ve realized there’s no true theme to this post. Typically I’m able to tie all my thoughts together at the end. Not this time. So I’ll close it with this truth – you never what someone else is going through. Be kind yet bold; be firm yet flexible; be what you are called to be. And we are all called to make a difference.

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I ask you –

What are your thoughts on the glass ceiling?

Do you usually have a post theme?

Share your favorite saying!

(The post Slow Down, Butterfly first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)