The Sword does not Negotiate

It operates according to function. It neither acts as a microphone nor as a microscope. It has one job. So what if we started living like the sword?

There is a cost, real or imagined, to every decision, every benchmark, every result. Often, we judge the things we must do according to the cost it will have on our life. But, like children, we twist the variables for our benefit. If the cost is low, we accept the circumstances. If cost is high, then we contextualize the variables according to what we desire for the end result. Basic principles.

When we embark on a path of revenge or vengeance, our entire lens is skewed to the end result. Hurt others. Often we contextualize the variables (see above) as righteous anger. For example, I’m protecting others, I’m doing as has been done to me, I am the victim. Please understand – you probably are the victim. But the cost is high. Peace is not cheap. Dare I say it is the most expensive part of life, in a global form. Time is almost the most expensive part of life, yet it is a personal value which might be considered the #1 most valuable asset a human can retain. Maybe this sounds conflicting. Maybe it is.

Photo by Markus Winkler on Pexels.com

The real question is are you seeking peace and purpose or thrill and chaos?

The moment has come for choosing a new word, or affirmation, in the next year. My team would insist I choose “No.”. A definitive period at the end of the only two-letter complete sentence in our language. It requires no explanation, no justification, no extra words. One period at its end. Another drain on my time? No. Another task to be accomplished without clear vision or goal? No. Another meeting disguised as necessary? No. Another person who trauma-dumps their entire life story on me? No. Another pointless discussion destined to morph into an argument. No.

I don’t want to check the temperature when I enter a room. I don’t want to scan it looking for a familiar face. I want the dynamic to change when I enter. I set the pace, I am the temperature to be checked, I make change. I refuse to negotiate when I hold the sword.

Be the thermostat. Not the thermometer.

_____________________

I ask you –

Which one are you and which do you desire to be?

(The post The Sword does not Negotiate first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Sips and Cigs

Any time I see someone smoking a cigarette, I think to myself they must be rich. Have you seen those prices? Only an addict would pay $10+ per pack of cigarettes. Rich folks.

Do the commercials still exist where they state that if you forgo your daily coffee, then you’ll save $200 per month? Let’s do some math.

Cigarettes: $10/pack, avg smoker smokes 1 pack/2 days. 7 days/wk, 3.5 packs/wk = $35.

Coffee: $6/coffee, 1 coffee/day, 7/wk = $36.

Basic math would show you the two habits are roughly equal. Health wise, not so much.

Another way to put it is this: (stolen from a meme) If I see someone at a movie theater with candy, popcorn, and a drink, they must be a drug dealer because there is no real excuse for that type of money.

Thought Break –

Certified!

The relevance of the above photos fit directly into the title.

I had been trying to attend this course for months, but work things continued to pop up each time I registered. This was the final course available in 2025. Done!
As a regular electrolyte drinker, I thought I would enjoy LMNT (pronounced element or elementy). Others had flavored options while I had the unflavored one. Holy salt cow. It was if I took a drink from the ocean. No thanks. I’ll stick with my XTEND.

Landing the Plane

Recently, my team somehow ended up in possession of a “gently used” vape. With nearly a full battery and approximately half of the liquid contents, I wasn’t sure what to do. We have signage regarding not throwing away batteries, electronic cigarettes, etc. so I knew that much. Google helped me none. When I contacted safety, it became a nuclear issue. And that’s the story of how I became responsible for a new safety policy. Not responsible for the design, but responsible for the reason. Sorry, everyone, I don’t know anything about these things.

_____________________

I ask you –

What are your thoughts on the cost of cigarettes?

(The post Sips and Cigs first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Resetting the Standard

Is hard. (courtesy of my Muse’s mind)

The pressure on the defending champion is unimaginable. Unless you’ve been the defender. Back-to-back wins, to continue being the best…well, sometimes it is impossible.

Leaders are responsible for setting the standard, communicating the standard, and leading others to accomplish the standard.

Then, there’s feedback. Or evaluation, appraisal, whatever new age terminology we’re using at the time. A period of self-reflection, a give-and-take on what’s working and what’s not. Some prefer numerical feedback, for example, on a scale of 1 to 10. Others prefer the paragraphical feedback, either via a list or some other structured narration of the best and worst.

This all sounds simple. Set standard, evaluate, give feedback. Done!

What’s being forgotten? Answer: feelings, interpersonal relationships, and humans being human. No surprise. So every time humans act like humans, the process is substantially more difficult. Evaluating behavior is not numerical nor is it narrative. Yet leaders are expected to do so. With a smile. Guess what? It gets harder every time, which is why resetting the standard is often a burdensome (and worthy) process easily relegated to the back burner. Because it is not fun. Because it is time-consuming. Because it is lonely. But none of these reasons is a valid one to give up on it.

What’s more telling than anything I’ve written here? How one accepts the feedback. And that, my dear, is a you problem.

_____________________

I ask you –

What is your preferred evaluation style?

(The post Resetting the Standard first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Break from the Break

I didn’t know how necessary it was to take a real break from work. Sure, supervising 20+ staff members is no walk in the park, but I believed I was handling it well.

Until the government shutdown when every person relied on me alone to do it. I’m not upset nor angry. I knew I had to do it and I tried to without complaint because we were all in the trenches together. It sucked but we escaped unscathed. But I knew I needed some time off.

Until I experienced 7 days without my phone ringing, without the group chat dinging any time of the day or night, and zero work-related incidents. I didn’t know how much I needed to rest.

We preach rest, especially in the confines of mental and physical health. Yet the overall toll of no rest on a person’s well-being is immeasurable. I just did not understand. It recently came to my attention I haven’t had an uninterrupted week off work in more than 3 years. During vacation, I’ve always had my laptop and have done work while on leave, either in response to phone calls or out of a misguided need to control the outcome. But it was controlling me.

1,000 piece Elf puzzle, + glitter

Upon return to the workplace, my coworker decided to a) suggest doing a pizzle together, b) leave early that day, which meant I had to sort the puzzle alone, and c) find something else to do every single day so the grand total of days we’ve puzzled together is zero.

Figures.

_____________________

I ask you –

What are your thoughts on needing a break from just having a break?

(The post Break from the Break first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 4 + A Special Introduction

My kid’s life partner, ahem, mini, ditched me in favor of sleeping in so I had to survive alone.

Good thing there were only 6 young people and I was somewhat familiar with the Hebrew language so as not to wildly mispronounce every word. A few, but not all of them.

The Big Reveal

Our home has succumbed to the pressure. We will forever live the holidays in the shadow of an elf. Yes, that elf. I have been content watching other homes overtaken with mischief and shenanigans and found myself thankful to be spared. Until now…

Introducing Tyna Tynsel. She’s a jolly ol’ gal with her vest and ear muffs. She rode in on an skateboard, tossed a letter from Santa (Bossy, as she calls him) to the side and declared her reign over our home. I hope she remembers to leave. I’m excited and fearful for the month. Maybe I can make friends with her to limit the destruction.

Perhaps she likes wine.

Or perhaps I’ll need wine to deal with her destruction. Standby.

_____________________

I ask you –

What brand of trouble do you think Tyna will get into?

(The post Outtakes, episode 4 + A Special Introduction first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I know I just said rest…

Two weeks ago, I completed a 5-week baseline workout plan via Garmin. So much for your last post on rest.

Last week, I began another 5-week series of workouts destined to test my overall strength and grit. Unrelated, I’ve seen the word grit mentioned no less than 3x at work in as many days. Maybe it’s making a comeback?

Results so far indicate I’m vertically challenged, probably don’t eat enough to power said workouts, and are overall incredibly difficult.

As evidence, here is a collection of whackadoo hairstyles I’ve implemented lately –

Alas, the running continues, even with weather fluctuations and holidays. I average 2.5-3.5 miles per run. Nothing fancy, just basic movement. Alongside the strength plan, I aim for several runs/week but sometimes I only get a single or double. Meh.

As tomorrow is Thanksgiving, at the moment I have plans to run a 5k with a local group. But those plans belong to today me. Not the me who has to wake up tomorrow, get dressed, eat, and brave whatever weather is in store. Maybe I’m still resting.

_____________________

I ask you –

Will you be partaking in the Thanksgiving Day 5k tradition?

(The post I know I just said rest… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Finding Rest

For the last several years, but only during the holidays, I would find Lindor Snickerdoodle Truffles. This year? Scant a snickerdoodle anywhere. But I found this alternative. I was hesitant to try them lest they don’t live up to what my mind considered was the best. To my surprise, these are a very close match and delicious! You’re welcome.

During the government shutdown, we purchased a time waster from my younger years. Introducing – the puzzle! Mini helped with the border for approximately 17 seconds, then made her way to the television for Dancing with the Stars. She’s invested. Truly, I have enjoyed this project. With sunset so early and a tired soul, this puzzle has kept me excited to come back for more.

Bonus! Find yourself a coffee shop jazz channel on whatever music service you use. Trust me. It’s peaceful and exactly what you need on a fall day.

Update. I found the Lindor truffles. First, I ordered them from Amazon. Then, I found two packages at the grocery store. In a double not blind taste test, the truffles are smoother. However, the kisses taste exactly the same as the truffles. Price? Kisses are cheaper and offer more variety if you want to bake with them.

For some, rest probably isn’t puzzles and chocolate. For some, rest is simply a break from a stressor. Same, same. Whatever it is, take time for yourself. During the holidays, it is incredibly easy to get lost in the going/going/gone, but I believe the holidays are meant for a slower time. Enjoy them. And try the snickerdoodle kisses!

_____________________

I ask you –

What is your favorite holiday candy?

(The post Finding Rest first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Tumbleweeds

If you weren’t aware, tumbleweeds are dead, dry plants which have detached from the ground and proliferate by spreading their seeds across the land as they blow here and there. They’re considered invasive because they can grow to large sizes, changing agricultural land and being a general nuisance. (courtesy of KelGpt) Occasionally, we experience tumbleweeds in North Texas, but never to the extent of the wild wild west, where movies, and real life, would indicate they blow as far as the eye can see.

Photo by Alfo Medeiros on Pexels.com

But I digress.

Besides the dead, dry part, I consider my mind full of tumbleweeds. Maybe a pinball is more accurate. Bouncing around to and fro, never really making it to the final location. Which is probably why this blog has flourished. Because my thoughts bounce around, reproducing randomly.

To my point –

Texas Coffee School – if I needed an idea where to spend the final portion of my GI Bill – tada!

Google.com – the place where normal people like you or I, the layman, if you will, can learn about how the government works. Indeed, we’ll call it Government 101, because too many people must have missed the lesson in high school. Apparently.

Football! Loving watching the Bears stage a comeback. Sure, the scores have yet to reflect said comeback but it’s been a great year nonetheless. Oh, the Cowboys. Season started strong, then we hit that tie, and it feels like it has fallen apart. And the Texans? Well, sigh. It’s the Texans and I love them, what’s not to like? One day, one day.

_____________________

I ask you –

Did you know about tumbleweeds?

(The post Tumbleweeds first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 3

Admittedly, there’s been a few previous episodes I have not reported on but, rest assured, no news is good news.

Which leads me to this post.

It was a mess. My largest group yet (12 victims… I mean children). The video lineup got jumbled; therefore, we missed two videos. Ever the ‘wing it’ type of leader, I asked the questions sans video context and then we played games for 20 minutes. Boy were they excited.

Then, there were drum lessons. Day before. Details. I don’t think we’ve been following any type of script because suddenly the instructor was asking if we were ready to play a song. Pause. A song?!? I have yet to master a 16-note!

Side note. I wish 16-note was a euphemism for money. Side side note. Still no paycheck. Sigh.

I played a song. Have you ever played Rock Band? If so, remember when you miss the note, then it “dinks” you? Let’s just say there were more dinks than harmonized notes.

Working with kids is easier.

_____________________

I ask you –

Would you rather – work with children or learn a new hobby?

(The post Outtakes, episode 3 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(Hope)ful

“Hope is not a strategy”. – from a recent leadership perspective on how to deal with inaction.

Photo by Lynnelle Richardson on Pexels.com

This one hit home. Because how many times have we said “Well, I hope it works out!” or, my favorite, “I hope you get better.” There’s nothing wrong with hope; in fact, it’s a tenant of faith. However, relegating hope to a place where it has no action is ludicrous. Please continue to use it to express sorrow or a place-filler for condolences (although much more can be said on this topic). But stop relying on hope to make a decision or, equally important, to lead others.

Early on, in this furlough period, I began a list of “wins”, the little things my team was able to accomplish. Some may say the little wins were nothing short of doing their job, but I wanted stories to tell later when the significance of them being there was overshadowed by other things, “more crucial things”. 43+ days later, when I re-read the older accomplishments, I feel more than pride. This time is the epitome of resilient. They keep showing up. They keep smiling. They keep trying to improve and help others. And they’re doing it without a paycheck in sight.

My pride, if there ever was any, is nonexistent. I have asked others for money, gift cards, and groceries for my team. I have driven through food pantries and visited the Salvation Army. I have donated my time to ensure they have what is needed to help them and their families survive. Many still refuse to ask for help. Others pour their time and energy into locating resources for my team. They offer tissues and a shoulder to cry on when it becomes overwhelming. These people are heroes.

hope in life’s changes

Each morning, I hope for a change in the furlough status. For 43 days, that hope has not come to fruition. So, I do what I have to do to keep them afloat, from a quick game of badminton to flexing schedules for carpools. If you’d told me this was what leadership looked like, it is not that I would not have believed you, but I would think I may do things differently. Wrong again. We never know how we will truly act or react until the moment comes to pass. And here we are.

Hope did not lead me to action, but it softened the blow of no change. I still have hope. However, all I now hope for is help – for them, for me, for all who are struggling.

_____________________

I ask you –

What does hope mean to you?

(The post (Hope)ful first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)