Injuries / Snow.

But they’re unrelated.

This is week 2 of physical therapy. Last week included a fancy new knee brace, a Rx for 5 PT sessions, 15 exercises, and a promise to discuss running after 6 weeks. Not a bad deal. Interestingly, the physical therapist is treating it like a MCL strain/sprain with indications of patellar tendonitis and some residual meniscus issues. It was a lot to take in.

Obviously I did not partake in the outdoor snow activities. Instead, I managed to walk over 10K steps indoors by taking 10-15 min breaks from writing. By the way, I received ethics review board approval so I can start the data collection portion. It’s getting there.

The snow days pushed everything from one week to the next but I stayed happily entertained with multiple computers providing the eye-crossing minutiae my mind needs. Basically, a very long sentence to say this post is short because I’m busy.

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I ask you –

To run or to not run, that is the question.

How much snow have you received in 2025? Maybe 0.5 inches.

Snow skiing vs snow boarding? Your thoughts.

(The post Injuries / Snow. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Because…I am.

Recently, someone asked why do you want to look different than the people you work with, presumably because of what I wear to work. I said it’s not because I want to, it’s because I need to. You see, when it comes time to stand up for my team, they deserve a leader who will do just that – stand up. It’s a privilege to be their leader and I never want anyone to question my loyalty to them. One of my first days on the fitness job, I was approached with the words “You look like you’re in charge”. My reply: I am. I want to look like a leader because…I am. I want to stand in front of, beside, and behind my employees because…I do. More than any of these; however, is I want my team to see me do it because…I have. And I will. And I will continue to do so. When my team wins, we all win. In 2024, we did big things. Even just a few weeks into 2025, we’re doing bigger things.

a few of many

The glass ceiling still exists. Oh it does. Even in the military (and I doubt it’s only the military) women still struggle obtaining top positions. Not to say it’s impossible – it’s absolutely not and has been proven time and again – but it’s a struggle. I never want to be a leader who was chosen because I was the “best of the worst”. Because I can name a dozen who were. I want to be chosen because I’m the best at what I do. Thus far, I believe that has happened. But I don’t want to become complicit to positional power, easily stripped with removal of a title. Sure, other people rely on me, but it is not that single reason which makes me a leader.

No, this post is not a whoohoo look at me and all the great things I’m doing. I don’t need a pat on the back. My only goal is to empower someone else to do the same, step up, be the leader you’re called to be. Because someone is watching you be the best you. And you have a team to lead.

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I ask you –

Are you an organizational leader?

What’s your opinion of the glass ceiling?

Tell me your title, in whatever capacity you are in.

(The post Because…I am. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Defiant and Noncompliant

I’ve (mostly) come back to my senses so allow me to share the good things, the fun, the holiday spirit activities before too much of January arrives with all its circumstances.

I connected with like-minded others who have a passion for servant leadership. Some are also self-described adrenaline junkies, which I believe speaks to a world of chaos I’m mildly interested in exploring.

I reconnected with a special person who will probably never read this post, but holds space in my heart. We were both very young when I joined his family, so to see him as an adult, with children of his own, but with the same mischievous smile of years past – a huge smile crosses my own face.

The weight bench and weights represent strength, but more than traditional strength equipment. They are joy, peace, and a fair amount of pain. The past 2 winters I’ve been unable to run on the island like I train year-round to do. It’s disappointing. So I continue to train in other ways…ways that make me feel strong.

Sharing some words spoken to me, in natural muse-like behavior: You may be biased. But you are fair. I can’t think of anything better than to be known as fair, especially when leading others. Maybe I’m doing something right.

Lastly, a lesson in obedience rather than how I’ve been obedient. Some have a certain type of face they must keep under wraps. You know the one. The infamous RBF. Luckily, I don’t have one of those. However, I do have a very prominent laugh. It’s loud. It’s me. If only I could control it. I can’t. It bubbles out of me like a fountain spewing joy at the most inopportune times. The pastor called me his favorite heckler. Probably not a compliment. People stare. Some smile so that makes me feel better. Others look over in alarm. As they should. The legacy I leave won’t be for world peace, or lavish contributions to society, but to the worst timing of a laugh. I guess we’re all remembered for something.

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I ask you –

What connections have you made lately?

Any go-to activities when you can’t do what you love?

Tell me your defining trait!

(The post Defiant and Noncompliant first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anew in 2025

My heart has been hurting for some time now. The holidays had me at war with myself. Every day in November, I did one thing for myself. I went to the coffee shop frequently, I escaped work to go window shopping, I went on long walks, I dated me. In December, I set a goal to work out as much during the week as possible. I created my own workouts to excuse the knee pain, I religiously followed up with doctors to get the X-ray and MRI, I pushed hard for me.

Then, the diagnosis of patellar tendonitis. Doesn’t sound so bad. My first question – can I run? Short answer: not yet. There’s still inflammation, there’s still remedies, there’s still physical therapy. I was happy with a diagnosis and thankful for an intact meniscus, but I still can’t run. I’m still in pain. There’s still swelling. I’m not ready to run, I know, I know. Yet I really wanted to just take off, down the street, carefree, moving my body the way I love to do.

2024: 267 miles

Afterwards, the threat of government shutdown, of furloughing my staff, of making dozens of notifications to people who just want to enjoy their holiday. My thin thread of sanity was fraying. My hard-fought and well-earned beach vacation was beginning to feel like a middle finger to everyone left behind. The one beating heart inside me threatened to collapse.

I should be excited. I should be ready to tackle the new year. My ethics board review will most likely be completed early January. I can begin scheduling, then traveling for my research. I will graduate in 2025.

But, for whatever reason, peace eludes me. The things I’ve tried to fill my time with, to refocus on, to overcome, have not been enough. I’m getting there. This is a hard one. And I think it’s important that others know you’re not alone.

Artist: B. N.

Not to worry. I’m ok. Just need a little more time.

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I ask you –

Any defining word for 2025?

Feel free to share your difficulties with the holidays or regarding life in general. We’re all doing the best we can.

(The post Anew in 2025 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Holiday Recap

There were school parties.

And work parties.

A lot of walks.

And even more coffee –

More to come in 2025.

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I ask you –

Recap your holidays!

(The post Holiday Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Productive Waiting

Merry Fitmas, everyone. The most loathed “holiday” to ever be. According to my spouse and child. It’s actually quite simple. For every day of December, each person must accomplish one physical activity and one chore-centered task. For example, a physical activity such as walking, i.e., a purposeful physical activity. Not the normal amount of daily activity. Parts tried. A chore is something outside of the regular day’s chores; also, going to work does not count. Maybe I made up the rules, maybe I didn’t. Thus far, I think we’ve all been incredibly productive albeit unwilling.

Truth be told, I don’t really like the holidays. There is a heaviness to the expectation to perform, decorate, volunteer, and smile through it all. I’m all about volunteerism – huge fan! But why can’t I just volunteer 11 months out of the year?

Waiting is also very expensive. I priced the software I would need post-research. $500 for 50 hours?! Granted, it’s the best on the market, I’m familiar with it, and it decreases my effort to transcribe dozens of interviews. Sold! Cost be damned. I’ll pay for convenience.

And, on this final note of paying for things, I purchased a voice recorder which uploads audio files – in this case, interviews – to my computer for transcription via the aforementioned incredibly expensive software. Again, convenience. See also expensive.

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I ask you –

On average, how productive are you?

How do you bide your time during long periods of waiting?

Tell me the most expensive thing you’ve purchased lately.

(The post Productive Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Unverifiable

Randomly, my muse shared the story of Lucille Ball discovering the presence of Japanese spies via her dental fillings. Recognizing this information is entirely out of context, I implore you to Google it. I did. Somewhere in the past 30+ years, I recall reading about it but had forgotten.

Unfortunately, according to this article, the story as told by Lucy appears to be mostly anecdotal. I believe it was a possibility as others have reported their own dental fillings “picking up” sounds and frequencies. But what’s really the most interesting part of the article is the fact Lucy was investigated by the FBI. It appears we have something in common other than our great sense of humor!

Credit: via Instagram

…in other news…as predicted, the knee x-ray was unremarkable. However, once I was notified of the results via official channels, the scheduler almost dismissed my complaint. Her words were “Well, the x-ray was good so everything should be fine.” I said “Excuse me?! Wait a minute! I’m still in pain. The x-ray didn’t cure me!” Have you lost your mind? Now, someone else should be calling to schedule a CT scan or MRI. She did ask me some odd questions like do you have any more bullets in your body, and are you expecting any shunts. 1. More bullets? 2. I’m not expecting any, no. This saga isn’t boding well.

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I ask you –

Are you familiar with the story of Lucy mentioned above?

How hot is your preferred shower temperature?

Fact or false: dental fillings discover sound waves. Ehh I’m leaning on the false side of things.

(The post Unverifiable first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What Is Going On?!

Help.

The pain (burning) in my knee warranted a doctor visit with some not-so-great news. I most likely reinjured the previous meniscus tear or am having complications from scar tissue. All I know is it hurt really really bad when he pressed into the back of my knee. Soon, I’ll begin the X-ray, other assorted scans, PT regimen to ensure we’re treating it correctly. This means no running, no volleyball, no cycling. He pointedly said walking and elliptical only. Me?! Never!

I won’t pretend I’m surprised. Fireworks in your knee isn’t the norm so obviously something was going on. But I really expected cycling to be included in the can-do list.

In the meantime, he encouraged walking, so that’s just what I’ll do. Starting with a lengthy weekend stroll! On the bright side, I guess I’ll have more room for clothes since I won’t need to travel with running shoes. By the time you read this, I’ll have defended my proposal. Stay tuned!

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I ask you –

Has anyone ever licked your forehead?

If you said yes, then I need a full explanation!

Any recommendations for New Orleans?

(The post What Is Going On?! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(No Fancy Title)

I used to wonder, what’s a girl gotta do –

To win a wing-level award. To clear the smaller but no less significant hurdles of winning at the squadron and group levels. Then, I did it. Twice. Walking across the same stage where I received my master’s diploma was awesome. Now? I’m chasing that annual award. Stay tuned.

To get a PhD. Something about the sound of doctor preceding my name seemed out of my league. I would say “that’s not me”. But, why not? Doctor…loading.

To position myself as a presenter at a leadership conference, established in my field as a policymaker. To make policy! I’ve mentioned if the opportunity presented itself to do this at the services level, I’d have a tough time turning it down. Post-doctor, for sure.

Credit: unknown via Instagram

To find a lost city. According to this article, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. Of course it was a PhD student. He was looking for his sanity.

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I ask you –

Have you been a conference presenter?

Seriously, what does a girl gotta do?!

Tell me some things you wonder about!

(The post (No Fancy Title) first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

When it’s busy

In several years, this is the first time I’ve had a full staff. Every position filled, with both new and seasoned employees keeping me on my toes. Yet, I’m the lucky one. Nearly daily, I marvel at the opportunity to be their leader. Someone believed in me, chose me, to lead them. It’s an honor unlike anything else. We have frank, real, deep conversations. I feel their respect when I explain the why.

Get it together. Some days it feels as if everyone is a psychology major. Words from the DSM (current edition DSM-5-TR) are now buzzwords. For example, imposter syndrome. Never heard of it until recently, now we can’t unhear it. I believe the concept is real; however, using it as an excuse for not stepping up is irritating. Sometimes there is no one more qualified than you, regardless of what your insecurities tell you. Be the leader. Do good things.

A small portion of Team Fitness

Nevertheless, transitioning from employee to mentor to leader is not for the weak. It is a lot of needs to balance! I do my best to share the big picture, the budget constraints, always the why behind decisions, yet some are reluctant to grasp the entire narrative. How many times have I done the same.

Tis the season for a million demands on my time. From a weekend with multiple events to planning upcoming holiday activities, it can be hard to take a deep breath. I don’t know how some people manage to float from one busy weekend to the next. My brain is tired just contemplating what’s on the agenda

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I ask you –

How often do you use the term imposter syndrome?

What’s on your calendar?

Advice for the break takers!

(The post When it’s busy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)