Busy is not a Badge

Backstory: the position above me has been vacant since I accepted my current job. Not a big deal. Sure, the workload has been maximized because those job tasks fell on me and another manager. Really – the entire workload fell to everyone. Nonetheless, hiring for that position has been much needed. Typical of the federal workforce, I could churn butter faster than expecting a decision to be made.

Of course I applied for that job, even though I’d only been in my position for 4 months. Because, why not. So when I found out I didn’t get the job, I was a little disappointed for a moment. Now, writing and reflecting on it in the days after, I’m actually very thankful. Prioritizing my own health, fitness, to-do list, school, and a million other tasks has been challenging. Don’t get me wrong: I have an incredible wingwoman and staff that make it all worth it. I enjoy responsibility. However, it sure will be nice when I can unload a few things off my plate.

Minus the week away from school and the return to 124 emails, I was feeling stressed about not “jumping back in” to everything. I found myself leisurely writing the first assignment, forgetting to prioritize my workouts, and generally not trying very hard. Then, I read an article about how society places being busy as a value everyone should strive to obtain. News flash. Even I was guilty of portraying this value to others, specifically my staff. How many times have I said just look busy? Perhaps it’s not the same as to look busy vs be busy but I said it nonetheless.

That week away refreshed me, gave me renewed purpose, and reconnected me to someone I love beyond words. I needed it. Needed. My soul needed it. However, as a type A, it can be so difficult to embrace not being busy.

Often, I must remind myself: the badge of being busy does not equate to value, to actually accomplishing anything, and it certainly shouldn’t define a life with purpose. If busy is indeed a badge, then it’s time to rethink how often I wear it. Maybe just special occasions.

_________________

I ask you –

Is being busy also your badge of honor?

Are you a type A? B? Is there a C?

Share with me how you prioritize yourself!

(The post Busy is not a Badge first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Spring Tour

While mini was away, I also escaped reality for a few days.

An incredible visit to Asheville, NC included donuts, coffee, breweries, and a tour through the Biltmore House and its beautiful gardens. In case you’re new here (to the blog, not NC), I think flowers and plants and nature are amazing. However, just the act of me staring lovingly at greenery makes it wilt and die. I’m really a legend at killing anything that survives on water alone. It’s bad.

The company was my favorite and the short getaway helped me put life back into perspective. Of course, by the time this is posted I’ll be deep into a course on human resource management and legal cases but this trip will keep me satiated until I can escape again.

It’s never goodbye, it’s always seen you soon. 💚

___________________

I ask you –

Have you ever toured the Biltmore? I’ll do a separate post on it.

How much do you love Spring foliage?

Human resource management and legal cases: I looked ahead at week 6 – which I never do because its overwhelming – perhaps I should submit a leave request now. That paper seems like a headache.

(The post Spring Tour first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

…The Evidence Will Show

That I have a huge problem. An obsession. A sugary snafu, if you will. Don’t tell me I don’t need to be keto. The hell I don’t. Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?

day before my birthday

Fortunately, of the 10 lbs I lost, I only regained 2. So I don’t have to undertake any kind of extreme cutback to return to my goal. As if I would anyway. Maybe all the sugar and carbs the subsequent week will power my way through the first week of returning to school. Or else I’ll just be super grumpy suffering from sugar withdrawals. More likely.

Further evidence is as follows:

The above photo collection was on the actual date of my birth. And it went downhill from there.

But it was so wonderful! Also, lastly, the only reason no bake cookies are included is because mini’s Tennessean spring break luggage was supposed to include them as a gift to her grandfather. However, I was too busy shoveling sweets into my own mouth that I forgot to make them for him so I had to vacuum seal and mail them. Fortunately, this seemed to work. Crisis averted.

________________

I ask you –

Have you tried the Twix Salted Caramel? I loved the saltiness, but didn’t really get the caramel.

What about butterscotch? Are you a fan?

The cost to overnight a package: $128. Two day shipping: $28. No contest.

(The post …The Evidence Will Show first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Allow a Girl to Daydream

By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be 2 days away from course end! We made it! Two classes was extremely ambitious and borderline stupid. I’m certain without a supportive family, awesome coworkers, and snow days I wouldn’t have survived with what little sanity I have remaining. Not much!

The upcoming Blue Bell Fun Run is on my bucket list. Maybe in 2025.

Speaking of 2025 – we were, were we not? – I received the commencement date if all plans go well and I’m done when I plan to be. May 10, 2025. Otherwise, I guess I wait until the following year? I couldn’t find information for multiple ceremonies so I guess they only hold graduation once a year. Either way, it was exciting to read about the upcoming graduation ceremony and the information to help students order their regalia, etc. Turns out you can rent or buy doctoral regalia. Probably for other degrees, too. I’m leaning towards buying it so I can wear it around the house as a robe, or a winter coat, or to very formal events at work, like change of command. I’ll just sashay in waving the robe hem around like royalty, yelling THE DOCTOR HAS ARRIVED. This should go over well.

While I’m daydreaming about my own gloriousness, let’s take it one step further and commit to running 3 destination runs post-graduation. I’m not very interested in the half marathon distance at the moment, but perhaps I will be then. Or I could just run to run. Or take 3 vacations. I’m on it today!

Lastly, on the topic of daydreaming, mini is set on getting a dog. Nevermind that she has one in Tennessee. She believes she absolutely needs one in Texas, too. I told her to wait until her dad moves here but she didn’t like that answer. For now, I’ve placated her with we’ll discuss it more next Valentine’s Day. Why Valentine’s Day? I don’t have an answer. I was just desperate to say something noncommittal and here we are.

I’d like to return to my non-anxiety inducing daydreams now. Please excuse me. Where was I? Oh yes, vacations.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you run any races lately? Do tell!

How often do you daydream?

Tell me about your bucket list!

(The post Allow a Girl to Daydream first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What Frustration Looks Like + A Moment of Joy

Some days just suck the life right out of you. It’s like the universe has found a way to keep you humble. I probably go through this cycle at least twice a week. Hello, humility, my old friend. But it really puts a damper on my faith in humanity, especially when it becomes so laden with negativity and completely ridiculous requests. We’re a needy, selfish society. We’re human. But, sometimes … I just want to slap some sense into people!

Nonetheless, I take a long walk, ponder, pray, consider throat punching a few folks, keep walking until it passes, and then reach my destination with a big smile because they have no idea I wanted to kick them in the shins. If only they’d let me sit closer in that meeting…

My muse explained how moments where you can just “be” are vital to strong mental health and staying grounded when life gets out of control. Just be. But what does that look like exactly? In a changing perspective of how to get to yes, it feels almost impossible. And why do I have to get to yes? Yes is hard and has responsibilities. I don’t want to get to yes. I want to say no! Alas, bending whilst not breaking is an art I have yet to perfect.

You know who does have life figured out? That beautiful woman above. In my eyes, she walks on water. She probably has wings hidden beneath her blouse. Her smile is everything to me. And I’m pretty partial to the mini me standing beside her, too. It was a short visit but one that my heart remembers long after we’ve left. What’s to be frustrated about at 95 yrs old?

Which reminds me of sitting at a restaurant some nights ago. A lovely older woman walked in with cash in her hand and a big smile on her face. For whatever reason, I looked up, made eye contact, and smiled back. Because the world needs more happy people. She walked directly over to me and said “He wants a burger and look at how I’m dressed!” I assumed she meant her spouse or someone who had driven her. As she opened her coat and showed me her wrinkled attire, I smiled and told her she looked beautiful. She replied, “Well, at 94, I don’t think anyone will notice!” She waved as she left with her to-go order.

I’ll probably never see her again but it’s a joy when someone comes along and brightens your day without any ulterior motives. Maybe it is possible to just be.

___________________

I ask you –

Is there a phrase that resonates with you?

How often do you want to kick someone in the shin?

Tell me your thoughts on being 94/95 years old! I hope I have a false cane to whack people with!

(The post What Frustration Looks Like + A Moment of Joy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Miss Big Mouth

Let’s overcomplicate things, shall we? Most definitely rhetorical sarcasm. I inquired about some training I need to satisfy an additional duty at work. The answer I received was this: it should only be an hour or two. Well, which is it?! And what do you mean by “only”?

In referencing additional duties – the Navy calls them collateral duties – an argument ensued between my team and an individual over the concept of additional duty vs primary duty. I thought it was self-explanatory but I was wrong. You see, everyone has additional duties. Military, civilian, contractors, all of us. So when someone uses the phrase this is my additional duty, it hits me wrong because we all have them, aka it’s not an excuse to disregard the duty. Next time, I’ll draw pictures.

How to make a corsage. Step 1: don’t. Hire your sister. Or mother. Depends. But this is what she gets for volunteering to make my niece’s prom corsage. Hope she’s keeping notes. Her additional duty.

When I wake up at the butt crack of dawn to finish a paper and discussion post so I can focus on a different paper of a million words and a gazillion pages – that’s a primary duty. Does this require any further explanation?

No questions please. The demonstration is over.

______________________________

I ask you –

What is the civilian terminology for additional or collateral duties?

Are you creative enough to make a corsage? Definitely not.

Tell me the page length of the longest document you’ve ever written!

(The post Miss Big Mouth first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

On a Lighter Note

The unofficial holiday nicknamed take your child to work day happened recently. I do believe it is a holiday.

From party time to petting the de facto fitness mascot to playing a rousing game of racquetball, I think the day was a success. She also acquired some new relatives. Meet Aunt Tim. It’s hard to find good help so I guess she’s hired.

She also added 3 extra days to my calendar which I didn’t notice until the following morning. When does February have 31 days?! It makes sense – she adds gray hair to my head, eternal sighs of weariness, and calendar days. Why not. To me, it felt like the longest day ever but as she was falling asleep that night, she exclaimed it was her favorite day ever and when could we do it again.

I’m just thankful my office phone hasn’t worked in …going on… 18 days now. Because if it had been, good grief.

___________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever taken your child(ren) to work? How did that work out?

Is having an inoperable office phone really a bad thing? Rhetorical, of course.

Tell me a few things the people in your life give you! example, a hard time

(The post On a Lighter Note first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I Take My Chances

Anything shorter than 10 pages is a break. I’m just counting down the days until spring break. For me, that’s 10 whole days of no due dates. For mini, it’s a vacation from school and a trip to Tennessee.

First, we have to navigate parent-teacher conferences, class parties, and probably something else I’m forgetting. Book fair. That’s what it was. I wrote a post last year on the quality of book fairs and how they are definitely not what I remember. It was sad. But like any good parent with a short memory and dumbfounded hope, I will attend the book fair again and most likely be talked into $50 worth of easily lost erasers and a book that interests neither of us. Remind me of this conversation later.

I often forget to take care of myself but lately – just the last week, really – I’ve attempted to fill my bucket, so to speak. First, a coffee date with an amazing mentor who reminds me we’re fighting the good fight and we have each other. Then, a phone call with the one and only Aunt Mary Catherine who I can hear smile through the speakers. We’re visiting soon and just the thought of seeing her gives me renewed joy and hope.

Finally, a mad dash to course completion in the hopes that I can read a book other than required readings. Possibility? I might have a better chance at running more than once per week. And that’s saying something because I haven’t managed this successfully in weeks. Right now, I’m just living for the tiny zing I get when I realize I’ve written another page in a long line of pages.

Details, you know.

_________________________

I ask you –

Any upcoming vacation plans?

How much will I spend at the book fair?

Tell me some chances you’ve taken lately!

(The post I Take My Chances first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

True Stories

In my line of work, I spend a large part of time examining footwear. No, you can’t wear flipflops in the gym. This prompted the following thought: have any studies been done on what footwear crime victims are wearing? Because I see many people wear footwear they can barely walk in let alone run, so there needs to be a standard established. Personally, I won’t wear anything I can’t run in. Because there’s no shortage of kidnapping attempts on my life.

In a bizarre string of events, the above photos tell a story of someone (someones) with a twisted sense of humor. I’m loving it. First, there was a dead hog on the side of the road. At least a week went by. Then, suddenly, there appeared a balloon stating “Feel Better” tied to its bloated carcass. No thank you. At least another week passed before mowers came through and I don’t want to speculate on what happened to the dead hog or its cheery balloon but both disappeared. Fast forward another week later. Now, there’s a homemade and painted cross with the inscription “RIP PIG”. I have no idea whose brilliant idea this was; however, I’m very much invested and feel as if maybe I should contribute with flowers or a rosary or some other memento. Why is this not a thing?

Ugh. It’s that time of year again. You know what I think? Oh, do tell, Kel. GS cookies should be sold before Christmas, before Thanksgiving even. So when we’re (I) am struggling to figure out what to gift, I can choose a simple option, like cookies. Sure, I can spend hours making treats and packaging them in cute bags, etc. but it would be awesome if I could give the gift of Girl Scouts!

I both loathe and adore Girl Scout cookie season. Send help. My willpower is garbage.

Last minute update, as of Monday:

I swear I didn’t do this! But I wanted to!

_________________________

I ask you –

Are you aware of any footwear-related true crime stories?

Should I pay my respects to the hog?

Tell me your favorite GS cookie(s)!! Caramel deLites and Lemonades!

(The post True Stories first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A Few (More) of My Favorite Things

A previous post by the same name just didn’t encompass everything I had hoped to share so I decided to do another. Because that’s what I do.

The semicolon ring above was a Christmas gift from my spouse. I stopped wearing the one before it after it became completely bent out of shape due to my inherent ability to run into walls, get my hands stuck in weird places, and overall wear and tear. But mostly wear and tear.

The semicolon is significant because it symbolizes the continuation of a story, sentence, or thought. Many people have it tattooed as a reminder of suicide awareness which is also the reason I wear it. Some may know my dad died by suicide when I was a child so this is a reminder of a life gone too soon. I’m also very aware of Veteran suicide rates; thankfully I do not know anyone personally, but I do have friends who have either struggled or know others who succumbed to their struggles.

My sister gifted me the journal above. It has beautifully organized pages and helps me get my thoughts in order. A huge plus, in my book. No pun intended. Her faith journey is so intentional – I’m trying to follow her lead.

Lastly, no bake cookies. I’m addicted. In the past 3 weeks, I’ve made no less than 4 batches of these cookies. They’re so easy and that’s the problem! Friends have even requested them – for money. I was joking when I said $5/batch. But maybe I shouldn’t have been.

Why do you run, Kel? So I can eat cookies!

__________________

I ask you –

Do you have a symbolic piece of jewelry?

Are you a self-proclaimed cookie addict, too?

If you or anyone you know have thoughts of suicide or are struggling with mental health, please reach out to a trusted friend, coworker, significant other…anyone. There are also many organizations dedicated to helping you. You may also dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Help is always available.

(The post A Few (More) of My Favorite Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)