Discipline + I’m getting old

Could it be once you hit my age (sub-40), you just can’t expect to run without any pain?

Since early November, I’ve not run, not played volleyball, worn a brace, diligently gone to PT and practiced the exercises, included strength training as a staple to my routine, and began an ice rolling regimen. What more can I do?!

Perhaps daily activities sans pain is unrealistic. Perhaps this is the new norm. Perhaps I didn’t take adequate care of myself in yesteryears so I’m paying for it now. Whatever it is.

As the pain persists, there is concern of an unrealized issue. Good thing I haven’t replaced all my permanent jewelry yet because more scans might be in the near future.

As for Strava (in the photo above), it’s really very difficult to adequately increase my fitness level at such a time as this. For instance, it takes approximately 10 days at an average of 6 hrs per day to finish a dissertation chapter. And how do I know this? Because I just spent approximately 60 hours with a discipline I never knew I had, diligently writing. And writing. And writing some more.

Fortunately, there’s only 1 chapter remaining and I have 18 days to complete it. Fitness will just have to wait, but I wasn’t betting I could run anyway.

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I ask you –

Is no pain actually normal?

How do I get to that point?

Tell me about a time your discipline surprised you!

(The post Discipline + I’m getting old first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Victory!

On 1 Feb, I began the slow rush to the finish line – makes a lot of sense, Kel – of analyzing data, making it legible and understandable, and overall contributing to the glory of society. Slightly inflated. I cancelled all plans (because I had so many), stocked up on coffee (because I might run out), and committed to writing x hours per day (dependent on literally everything).

Slightly more than a week later, I’m in the zone. I write nearly constantly, doodling ideas to myself, brainstorming paragraphs for the conclusion. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I can see it slowly peaking out from beneath the clouds.

Victory is nigh! But I took a break for the Super Bowl.

Alright, I know this is very dramatic and unlike me but you get the gist.

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I ask you –

Dramatic or no?

Care to venture a guess regarding how much coffee I drink daily?

Share a victorious moment!

(The post Victory! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Traveling

I’ve been on the road more than home the past several weeks. Is that a song? Needless to say, but I’m saying it anyway, I drank a lot of coffee. Soon, I’ll share where each of these locations are, but, for now, here’s a collage:

More to come!

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I ask you –

Share your thoughts about anything!

(The post Traveling first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Injuries / Snow.

But they’re unrelated.

This is week 2 of physical therapy. Last week included a fancy new knee brace, a Rx for 5 PT sessions, 15 exercises, and a promise to discuss running after 6 weeks. Not a bad deal. Interestingly, the physical therapist is treating it like a MCL strain/sprain with indications of patellar tendonitis and some residual meniscus issues. It was a lot to take in.

Obviously I did not partake in the outdoor snow activities. Instead, I managed to walk over 10K steps indoors by taking 10-15 min breaks from writing. By the way, I received ethics review board approval so I can start the data collection portion. It’s getting there.

The snow days pushed everything from one week to the next but I stayed happily entertained with multiple computers providing the eye-crossing minutiae my mind needs. Basically, a very long sentence to say this post is short because I’m busy.

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I ask you –

To run or to not run, that is the question.

How much snow have you received in 2025? Maybe 0.5 inches.

Snow skiing vs snow boarding? Your thoughts.

(The post Injuries / Snow. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Defiant and Noncompliant

I’ve (mostly) come back to my senses so allow me to share the good things, the fun, the holiday spirit activities before too much of January arrives with all its circumstances.

I connected with like-minded others who have a passion for servant leadership. Some are also self-described adrenaline junkies, which I believe speaks to a world of chaos I’m mildly interested in exploring.

I reconnected with a special person who will probably never read this post, but holds space in my heart. We were both very young when I joined his family, so to see him as an adult, with children of his own, but with the same mischievous smile of years past – a huge smile crosses my own face.

The weight bench and weights represent strength, but more than traditional strength equipment. They are joy, peace, and a fair amount of pain. The past 2 winters I’ve been unable to run on the island like I train year-round to do. It’s disappointing. So I continue to train in other ways…ways that make me feel strong.

Sharing some words spoken to me, in natural muse-like behavior: You may be biased. But you are fair. I can’t think of anything better than to be known as fair, especially when leading others. Maybe I’m doing something right.

Lastly, a lesson in obedience rather than how I’ve been obedient. Some have a certain type of face they must keep under wraps. You know the one. The infamous RBF. Luckily, I don’t have one of those. However, I do have a very prominent laugh. It’s loud. It’s me. If only I could control it. I can’t. It bubbles out of me like a fountain spewing joy at the most inopportune times. The pastor called me his favorite heckler. Probably not a compliment. People stare. Some smile so that makes me feel better. Others look over in alarm. As they should. The legacy I leave won’t be for world peace, or lavish contributions to society, but to the worst timing of a laugh. I guess we’re all remembered for something.

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I ask you –

What connections have you made lately?

Any go-to activities when you can’t do what you love?

Tell me your defining trait!

(The post Defiant and Noncompliant first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anew in 2025

My heart has been hurting for some time now. The holidays had me at war with myself. Every day in November, I did one thing for myself. I went to the coffee shop frequently, I escaped work to go window shopping, I went on long walks, I dated me. In December, I set a goal to work out as much during the week as possible. I created my own workouts to excuse the knee pain, I religiously followed up with doctors to get the X-ray and MRI, I pushed hard for me.

Then, the diagnosis of patellar tendonitis. Doesn’t sound so bad. My first question – can I run? Short answer: not yet. There’s still inflammation, there’s still remedies, there’s still physical therapy. I was happy with a diagnosis and thankful for an intact meniscus, but I still can’t run. I’m still in pain. There’s still swelling. I’m not ready to run, I know, I know. Yet I really wanted to just take off, down the street, carefree, moving my body the way I love to do.

2024: 267 miles

Afterwards, the threat of government shutdown, of furloughing my staff, of making dozens of notifications to people who just want to enjoy their holiday. My thin thread of sanity was fraying. My hard-fought and well-earned beach vacation was beginning to feel like a middle finger to everyone left behind. The one beating heart inside me threatened to collapse.

I should be excited. I should be ready to tackle the new year. My ethics board review will most likely be completed early January. I can begin scheduling, then traveling for my research. I will graduate in 2025.

But, for whatever reason, peace eludes me. The things I’ve tried to fill my time with, to refocus on, to overcome, have not been enough. I’m getting there. This is a hard one. And I think it’s important that others know you’re not alone.

Artist: B. N.

Not to worry. I’m ok. Just need a little more time.

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I ask you –

Any defining word for 2025?

Feel free to share your difficulties with the holidays or regarding life in general. We’re all doing the best we can.

(The post Anew in 2025 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Productive Waiting

Merry Fitmas, everyone. The most loathed “holiday” to ever be. According to my spouse and child. It’s actually quite simple. For every day of December, each person must accomplish one physical activity and one chore-centered task. For example, a physical activity such as walking, i.e., a purposeful physical activity. Not the normal amount of daily activity. Parts tried. A chore is something outside of the regular day’s chores; also, going to work does not count. Maybe I made up the rules, maybe I didn’t. Thus far, I think we’ve all been incredibly productive albeit unwilling.

Truth be told, I don’t really like the holidays. There is a heaviness to the expectation to perform, decorate, volunteer, and smile through it all. I’m all about volunteerism – huge fan! But why can’t I just volunteer 11 months out of the year?

Waiting is also very expensive. I priced the software I would need post-research. $500 for 50 hours?! Granted, it’s the best on the market, I’m familiar with it, and it decreases my effort to transcribe dozens of interviews. Sold! Cost be damned. I’ll pay for convenience.

And, on this final note of paying for things, I purchased a voice recorder which uploads audio files – in this case, interviews – to my computer for transcription via the aforementioned incredibly expensive software. Again, convenience. See also expensive.

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I ask you –

On average, how productive are you?

How do you bide your time during long periods of waiting?

Tell me the most expensive thing you’ve purchased lately.

(The post Productive Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Approved!

Normally, I wouldn’t give a second thought to anyone else’s approval. That is until I started a PhD. Now, approval is the primary motivation within the process.

Finally, I received dissertation proposal defense approval! Never mind it was while I was on a work trip to New Orleans (separate post forthcoming), experienced significant technical issues, and felt like I was under attack. Despite all things. I was exhausted, half-unwell due to a lingering cold, overwhelmed with the requirements, and was experiencing numerous other small stressors. But I did it. Now, I await ethics board approval, then can begin the research portion.

Below, from left to right: Cafe Bon Ami – Fourth Wall – French Truck Coffee

The photo collage above is a minimal reenactment of my coffee intake pre- and post-proposal defense. Trust me there was much more not pictured. And, as I have several months to go, the more coffee consumed.

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I ask you –

How many cups of coffee do you drink per day?

How often do you have technical difficulties?

Tell me about your guilty pleasure when stressed!

(The post Approved! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What Is Going On?!

Help.

The pain (burning) in my knee warranted a doctor visit with some not-so-great news. I most likely reinjured the previous meniscus tear or am having complications from scar tissue. All I know is it hurt really really bad when he pressed into the back of my knee. Soon, I’ll begin the X-ray, other assorted scans, PT regimen to ensure we’re treating it correctly. This means no running, no volleyball, no cycling. He pointedly said walking and elliptical only. Me?! Never!

I won’t pretend I’m surprised. Fireworks in your knee isn’t the norm so obviously something was going on. But I really expected cycling to be included in the can-do list.

In the meantime, he encouraged walking, so that’s just what I’ll do. Starting with a lengthy weekend stroll! On the bright side, I guess I’ll have more room for clothes since I won’t need to travel with running shoes. By the time you read this, I’ll have defended my proposal. Stay tuned!

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I ask you –

Has anyone ever licked your forehead?

If you said yes, then I need a full explanation!

Any recommendations for New Orleans?

(The post What Is Going On?! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(No Fancy Title)

I used to wonder, what’s a girl gotta do –

To win a wing-level award. To clear the smaller but no less significant hurdles of winning at the squadron and group levels. Then, I did it. Twice. Walking across the same stage where I received my master’s diploma was awesome. Now? I’m chasing that annual award. Stay tuned.

To get a PhD. Something about the sound of doctor preceding my name seemed out of my league. I would say “that’s not me”. But, why not? Doctor…loading.

To position myself as a presenter at a leadership conference, established in my field as a policymaker. To make policy! I’ve mentioned if the opportunity presented itself to do this at the services level, I’d have a tough time turning it down. Post-doctor, for sure.

Credit: unknown via Instagram

To find a lost city. According to this article, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. Of course it was a PhD student. He was looking for his sanity.

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I ask you –

Have you been a conference presenter?

Seriously, what does a girl gotta do?!

Tell me some things you wonder about!

(The post (No Fancy Title) first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)