When it’s busy

In several years, this is the first time I’ve had a full staff. Every position filled, with both new and seasoned employees keeping me on my toes. Yet, I’m the lucky one. Nearly daily, I marvel at the opportunity to be their leader. Someone believed in me, chose me, to lead them. It’s an honor unlike anything else. We have frank, real, deep conversations. I feel their respect when I explain the why.

Get it together. Some days it feels as if everyone is a psychology major. Words from the DSM (current edition DSM-5-TR) are now buzzwords. For example, imposter syndrome. Never heard of it until recently, now we can’t unhear it. I believe the concept is real; however, using it as an excuse for not stepping up is irritating. Sometimes there is no one more qualified than you, regardless of what your insecurities tell you. Be the leader. Do good things.

A small portion of Team Fitness

Nevertheless, transitioning from employee to mentor to leader is not for the weak. It is a lot of needs to balance! I do my best to share the big picture, the budget constraints, always the why behind decisions, yet some are reluctant to grasp the entire narrative. How many times have I done the same.

Tis the season for a million demands on my time. From a weekend with multiple events to planning upcoming holiday activities, it can be hard to take a deep breath. I don’t know how some people manage to float from one busy weekend to the next. My brain is tired just contemplating what’s on the agenda

______________

I ask you –

How often do you use the term imposter syndrome?

What’s on your calendar?

Advice for the break takers!

(The post When it’s busy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

How Dare You Suggest!

Garmin has lost its mind; specifically, the suggested workouts function. This thing suggested I do a 30 min run at 10:35′ without a warm-up. I’m old. I require a warm-up. At least 5 mins!

Then, the following day, it suggested a temp run, 6×1:00 at 7:20′. 7:20′! I’ve never run that pace in my life. 7:20′ is like running from a pack of hungry lions. I think I’ve played in the 8-8:30’s – never a sustained 7-anything for 1 min. Craziness.

So you know what I did? I ran it. Because “can’t” isn’t in my vocabulary. And you know what happened? I ran like hungry lions were chasing me. It wasn’t pretty, it hurt a lot, and I disliked every interval, but I did it.

Then the next day I made an appointment because I suspect something is wrong with my meniscus again. It feels like fireworks inside the inner knee, and the tell tale stretched rubber band. Or maybe it’s all related to my feet. Remember, I had planned to have double toe surgery the early part of 2024, then I scrapped those plans altogether. It is still on the horizon sans date. The suggestion was to handle it sooner rather than later. Like stop signs, right? Just suggestions.

But I continue to run, to make time for exercise, no matter the consequences. At this point, I’d rather be in pain than stop all activity, to the detriment of my body. Maybe that’s why I have spare parts.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you follow Garmin’s suggested workouts?

What type of workout did you do last? Strength training.

Might you be willing to donate a healthy knee to my cause?!

(The post How Dare You Suggest! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Turtle Races and some other stuff

Resubmitted my manuscript last week in hopes they’ll approve it for proposal defense. Now I wait. Again.

In the meantime, I’ve been reading, and running. A lot actually. And drinking copious amounts of coffee, but that isn’t new. I’ve also cleaned, paced, and generally avoided saying much.

On the bright side, October ushered in cooler weather and I want to spend every day outside. Might even move my desk outdoors.

Not sure if I’ve shared yet – my favorite mug from McK. She gets me.

Small town things – a turtle race! I can just see numerous children the week of the race scavenging for turtles. Some large, some small, hopefully none that snap. Probably lots of angry parents.

________________

I ask you –

Did/does your hometown celebrate homecoming, etc. with a festival? My little 1A school did not.

Have you ever kept a (wild) turtle as a pet?

Tell me your go-to fall activity!

(The post Turtle Races and some other stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Yes, I know.

I know I wrote the word policy 561 times but it didn’t have to be pointed out so negatively.

I know it’s 335 pages. Oh yes. I KNOW. I’m too wordy. Roger that.

I know I can’t do the research until the research committee gods bless my manuscript with holy hands.

I know I’m a public administration doctoral candidate. Did you know public admin and public policy are irrefutably connected? Exactly.

I know I don’t have all the time to read these books. But it won’t stop me from adding to the ever growing list.

I know it doesn’t seem like much but I managed to chop my paper by 30 pages while keeping the integrity of the literature. Now, we wait. Again.

_____________________

I ask you –

What word do you overuse? soooooooo

How much time do you have to read?

Accepting more book suggestions. Again.

(The post Yes, I know. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Is This Really What We’re Doing?

Recently I met a woman who told me her jacked, veined arms were genetic. Are you telling me those boobs are genetic, too? Because you’ve had some work done. Never mind the cystic acne that screams steroids. Ok, sure.

Relatedly, I saw a “content creator” filming a new “project” inside an undisclosed gym involving very little clothing and somehow labeled a workout. You weigh 17 lbs. Gtfo

More and more, I crave conversations of substance. I loathe the small talk of (primarily) women who want to discuss weight loss or what size would make them feel valuable. I, too, avoid a man detailing the promise of a new carburetor. I want depth. Not elections, not the ho-hum of daily garbage, but the real, what-do-you-think-about stuff.

point to the Pacific

But, everything is ok. Just ok. My manuscript came back last week with the nice message, “major revisions”. I’m too wordy. Time to synthesize, clarify, and edit. Minimize, if you will. So, as I chop,chop,chop this dissertation to an undetermined length, I question myself and what I’m doing.

_____________________

I ask you –

Do you question, well, everything?

Are your boobs real? Your muscles the epitome of hard work?

Inquiring minds must know – what is the ideal page length? Under 300, I guess.

(The post Is This Really What We’re Doing? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Memory Lane + Soundtrack

Song #1

Music is impenetrably tied to memories. The weather change, a few notes of a song, and I’m transported back to a simpler time. Nights and weekends were spent escaping the confines of a small town via open windows and slow drives down dusty back roads. Extra points if you managed to get lost. Many life lessons were learned with good friends, some of those lessons without a statute of limitations. Shameless.

20 years post-high school graduation, the memories still live rent free in my head, which today is mostly clouded with busy work and anxiety. Oh, but how I love to go back to those moments in time that made me me.

Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

Admittedly, I had a wild side that I balanced with being top of my class and working hard to support myself. Untouchable. An interesting word which would eventually come back around to describe me in a different career. Although this may sound like bragging, I can assure you it’s not. It probably kept me safe on more than one occasion, even if it didn’t prevent the absolutely worst humans intent on harm. I’m still standing.

Song #2

My dissertation anthem. I believe I intended to write a different post near the end of this journey but I probably won’t remember what I was planning to say then so why not.

Music and memories, that’s where it’s at. Fairly certain I’ve published other posts along the same lines, get it, get it, but my tag skills are rough so it hasn’t been easy to find.

______________

I ask you –

Did you own cassette tapes?

What old song is living in your head?

Tell me about your anthem!

(The post Memory Lane + Soundtrack first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I’m a Forgetter

Long live volleyball! I just wish I didn’t hurt myself so easily. Yes, I own knee pads. Several pairs. But did I remember to bring them and put them on? Clearly not.

My kind doctor said I had 6 months to fix my high cholesterol levels. In his defense, he’s given me 3 yrs thus far. The good stuff is getting better but it’s still overall too high for comfort. I blame my parents. In the meantime, I’ve made some easy switches – less fat, more good stuff. Turns out turkey bacon is really good, and I definitely enjoy balsamic vinegar on my salad. More avocado, less fried stuff. We’ll see what happens. I’m always up for an experiment!

Me: I know it’s Saturday morning at 0500, nearing FY end, so let me check my email and really test these new anxiety meds. My brain: Dondnekndicngmeixnwkffiend🤯. Long story short – now I will worry and feel ill the remainder of the day for forgetting for 4 months! to order something I agreed to.

Volunteers, team of 2

Definitely needed a run to clear my head from that disaster. Later in the day, I saw the victim of my forgetfulness and apologized profusely. She didn’t seem to mind much, which was a big change from my anxious brain telling me to escape. Ugh, such a liar.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you enjoy any healthy alternatives to your favorite foods?

What is your go-to activity to clear your head?

Tell me about forgetting something important!

(The post I’m a Forgetter first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

The Waiting

It’s frustrating when I’ve requested an article or document from a particular author who wants to charge for said document. Granted, I understand their time is money and knowledge; however, the sites I use are reputable and notable academia journals so they must understand students are typically the ones searching for materials here. Yet, I fill out a giant form indicating why and how I need access to said article with often little or zero response. Undoubtedly, countless requests just from me for articles sit in a queue somewhere, forever in a holding pattern. It’s not like I have forgotten; instead, I wait and wait and wait without response.

A few nights ago, my chair and I had a brief conversation, with me mainly insisting I’m attempting to be patient in the waiting for committee response and her insisting all is well. As she’s the expert, I defer to her in nearly every way. But if I had known. I could have made a training plan for a half marathon. I could have done something else with my time. But, life is funny like that. Surely, I needed an unstructured break. Surely.

Parts invited her boss – something I could never do

I also attended a comedy show, titled Moms Unhinged. It started at 7pm, practically the middle of the night, but it was fun and the jokes were great! I’ve watched football. Cowboys, wth. I’ve developed a new outline for a different research interest. Yeah, Kel, that’s exactly what you needed. I’ve begun watching a new television series, Brilliant Minds. Fantastic, btw. I’ve sat on my couch with mini, or read trashy novels for hours on end.

But, at the end of the night, I’m still waiting.

_____________________

I ask you –

How long is too long to wait? Does it depend?

Who is your favorite comedian?

Tell me your bedtime.

(The post The Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day in Photos, pt 90

I’m purchasing this headwear for use at an upcoming graduation. When I found out an ex-husband and a few old boyfriends would be in attendance, incognito is now the theme.

Credit: Amazon

New office furniture arrived. I’m so thankful for Parts. She loves to put stuff together. Me? Well, let’s just say it’s a disaster.

I love ice cream. Not surprisingly. And I still need to try this flavor!

I’ve waited forever for football! And since I have a little time to watch it – don’t call me, I’ll call you, ummm, never.

Credit: Google

_________________

I ask you –

What should I wear for further incognito-ness? All black? Black with red heels is my standard.

Are you a handy man/handy woman?

Tell me who your NFL team is!

(The post Day in Photos, pt 90 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Performance Optimization

Believe it or not, there’s a lot I don’t mention on this blog but that I do talk a lot about in person. Such as performance optimization, specifically for women. What. Is. That?! So glad you asked. Essentially, it’s pairing exercise according to the menstrual cycle. While some women are textbook, 28-day cycle specimens, most women do not conform to the textbook and range from a 21-40 day cycle. This means many women are not training their body according to their cycle; instead, they’re probably winging a workout then wondering why today was so damn hard or, alternately, cheering themselves on for having a kickass run while failing to acknowledge the reasons why. Been there.

Let me tell you how. The first step is tracking your cycle. The problem is it depends on dozens of factors, such as hormonal birth control, which, no one wants to hear it, means you do not have a natural cycle at all. However, consistent tracking of a hormone birth control user can still result in a performance optimizing workout routine. So don’t knock it. Anyway…once we know some of the factors influencing our ability to have a stellar performance, life sort of gets easier. I jest.

All this to lead me here – I’ve had some pretty great runs and workouts lately. Despite the humidity and 100+ degrees, for the second year in a row, I’ve sustained a routine of running outdoors. It takes some creativity, some sacrifice, and sometimes even a little humility, but it can be done. Not to be dramatic, but my world did change in 2018 post-heat illness. I try not to give it too much power in my head. Alas, I maintain an awareness of being conscious of the limitations surrounding it. It is what it is.

_________________

I ask you –

For my lady friends, do you practice performance optimization?

Do you have other routines you follow?

Tell me how running and exercise have been going for you!

(The post Performance Optimization first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)