Before & After, sort of

Disclaimer. The photo below was originally sent to Parts as we discussed how she’s graduating her final child from high school and is still managing to screw it up. Then, we brainstormed a book about it. And we made fun of nearly everything serious in her life, roast fashion.

But, I really wanted to post the photo with a caption about how I needed to pee while out waking and was worried to find a bush/patch of ground because my butt would be ambushed by mosquitoes.

Which then prompted my thought about how I don’t post those things on social media yet I save them for the blog which does get posted on social media. So basically I just add another step to read the good stuff.

Anyway, we graduated my nephew this past weekend which resulted in a very quick trip to my hometown, complete with the most humid run I’ve encountered in quite some time, a lot of dirty looks from people in my old life, and a hug from my ex’s grandmother with the words “Yes, I remember her, I liked this one”. HaHA. What’s funny is I thought she hated me, but I did spend time with her and listened to her stories. She even invited me to visit her. Seriously, though, some of us have not aged well.

And, on aging, late night and early morning conversations with my aunt and uncle resulted in a conglomerate of topics, such as educators, the education system, federalist papers, and the Constitution. Then, work ethic, Mark Twain, the Roman Empire, and the Bronze Age. What I enjoy most is these are discussions based on our interpretation of what we know, or have heard, and less about what we can research and clarify in the moment. For all we know, we have missed the mark entirely, but it’s those reasons which make it fun, thought provoking, and eye opening.

On that note, this is my final thought: people generally have little fear. But, the fear of being forgotten trumps many.

__________________________

I ask you –

What would you have done about the mosquitoes?

Do you fear being forgotten once you’re gone?

Name a subject you often discuss with others.

(The post Before & After, sort of first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Staples in the Fabric of Life

Believe it or not, I am the type of person who does not do well with change. Which is comical because my work life constantly changes. It drains me. And it takes me, what feels like, days to process change. When I began my work with the Air Force in 2020, I would listen when others said they would retire in 20-whatever or in (insert number of) years. In those moments, it didn’t resonate.

Now? With the past 4 years fraught with retirements, it has become another point of change I must take time to process. Because these are no longer people whom I didn’t really know. They’re…friends. Beacons in my workplace. Coworkers with vast amounts of knowledge, who have shared their memories and children and stories. They truly are staples in the fabric of my office, my life, my world.

It is possible I’m waxing poetic about a topic you may not relate to or are not as invested in as I am. Fine. But I do believe we all have those people in our lives whom we have “grown up” with, so when they depart, then there’s an empty space they once filled. Even if it is a chair on the third floor in room 308, the person who fills the seat is still a person.

_________________

I ask you –

How do you cope with change?

Are you particularly close to your coworkers?

Tell me someone in your life who you feel you have “grown up” with.

(The post Staples in the Fabric of Life first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fighting the good fight

Today, the day got the best of me. I felt no emotion in a situation where I probably should have. I know it was there before. But today? No dice.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-criteria-exceptional-work-ethic-april-donovan

Occasionally I attend self-care and self-help type presentations. Or I give them. Something I like to mention are the effects of mental load. Most people are familiar with Newton’s something or other law about pressure and load and force, etc. The same applies to humans. The mental load of caring for, disciplining, and explaining life to other humans is remarkably taxing on the mind.

For example, making a grocery list. First, come up with meal ideas. Then, write those down. Next, consider what ingredients to purchase for those meals. But, first, find out what ingredients are already on hand. Scratch out, rewrite, repeat. This is a smaller mental load than, for example, disciplining employees. It’s no wonder the Facebook guru dude only wears blue shirts and jeans. Less mental load!

https://neurosciencenews.com/moms-mental-load-28244/

Before any other parents or parenting partners get their feelings hurt (I do the laundry, I cook!), yes, typically, mothers carry the heaviest mental load. Maybe it’s by default, maybe it’s the natural order of life, I’m not a doctor of that stuff. What I can say is the stress of being responsible for child-related tasks is more of a motherly duty.

All this to make a point about mental load in the workplace, especially for those with supervisory roles, balancing employees’ needs with the mission’s needs. Some days I offer feedback to adults acting like children, and some days I escape the day unscathed, with most of my sanity still intact. And on the roughest days, no matter the dazed and confused look I carry for hours, the next day brings renewed joy and hope to fight the good fight.

Some people are caretakers. Some are takers. The mental load finds balance where it can.

_________________

I ask you –

Before this post, had you heard of mental load?

How often do you consider the load of mundane tasks?

Which are you: caretaker or taker.

(The post Fighting the good fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards

The title of this post is admittedly paraphrased from a radio show host who shared a sweet phrase she saw graffiti’d on a building: “It only takes a second to tell someone something beautiful”. Obviously, the radio host indicated graffiti is vandalism, but it made me wonder why not greeting cards? Why not share inspirational quotes and phrases, lick the envelope, and send it on its way? How much are stamps? Probably less than defacing public property charges.

Did you know commercial greeting cards originated in 1860? Me neither.

The several cards received. (not pictured)

_________________

I ask you –

I doubt many will answer, but have you ever grafitti’d something?

Do you send greeting cards?

Effective 13 July 2025, postage stamp prices will increase to $0.78.

(The post Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Order of Leaders

We could beat people when they’re down, but it doesn’t make us leaders, it makes us tyrants. Recently, a leader in my organization approached me without fanfare, without ulterior motive, to share a situation encountered unbeknownst to me. He was concerned, he expressed empathy. And although I knew of the logistics of the situation, I hadn’t known the full picture. He offered grace rather than condemnation. He offered care as opposed to vindication or punishment. That’s a leader.

It has arrived!

Although the photo is not inherently leadership related, and neither is the following story, it will get me there. Standby.

The past few weekends have been packed with conferences. One I spoke at, the other I did not. However, each brought together hundreds of people looking for connection and community, and offered an opportunity to share stories. One may never know what another is dealing with until their story is shared. There were several what not to do’s, also.

I have probably never shared on this platform the struggle with my name, but I find others with similar issues when I share. Even mini has expressed an issue with her own name and its similarities to a popular name which causes people to mispronounce it. She despises this. All this to say, we each have struggles. In an effort to overcome these struggles and become great leaders, we must listen first and act second.

_________________

I ask you –

How often do organizational leaders jump to conclusions?

Care to share a story of your own?

Tell me your best advice.

(The post Order of Leaders first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Summer Treats

I know it’s not summer yet but I’ve been loving ice cream lately. When is ice cream not good? Fun fact: most places sell more ice cream and frozen treats when it’s cold outside.

Why does Blue Bell do this to me? Most assuredly, it is not keto. Oh, but it’s so goooooood!

Pretty sure I previously posted this same photo, but Rebel ice cream is really tasty!

Place a few of the Lindt truffles in the fridge and you will be amazed. Cold. Delicious. I should stop.

_________________

I ask you –

What is your favorite summer treat?

Have you tried Blue Bell’s bride’s cake or groom’s cake?

Name a truffle flavor I must sample.

(The post Summer Treats first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Random Post, x3

Adorable birds nest cookies my MIL made. Nevermind the missing bites – taste test.

We won a game which means we technically tied for last place but that final game was a showstopper!

I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to coach and play with this amazing group of Wingmen.

Sorry, friends, I don’t have a lot to share today. Definitely more to come next week!

———————–

I ask you –

Did you know what a candy birds’ nest was?

What was the chance of winning the final game? Less than 10%

Participation trophies: Yay or Nay? For others, no. For myself, sure!

(The post Random Post, x3 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Activity Update

Slowly making my return to running. It’s been a few miles here and there, no definitive plan or purpose. Just doing whatever feels good at the time. Typically anywhere from 2-4 miles because it feels doable in under 60 mins. As the weather heats up – we’ve already had several over 90 degree days – then I’ll figure out what works best for schedule, body temp, and future goals.

Regular yoga sessions, in my opinion, have been very useful to staying pain free and promoting faster recovery. Cooling down with yoga and icing my knee seems to do the trick when I get an inkling my knee is struggling. I’ve also noticed the warmer weather is much better for me. If only it would cooperate with my body. The colder months create some arthritic issues in my lower body, but it’s so much better for running!

Making it out of intramural volleyball season with my sanity intact might be a stretch. This team has pushed my patience, humor, and stress levels to the max. What an incredible job they do off the court. As first sergeants and assistant first sergeants, they care for and advocate for military members going through things. I’ve seen them juggle their own careers with the needs of others all while balancing their families’ needs and additional pressures of the job. There’s not a single one I wouldn’t trust with helping another human.

Just a few of them

On the court

On the court? Well…let’s just say my abs hurt from laughing so much, I did offer an apology when I let my emotions cloud my articulation, and, at the time of this posting, we’ve won no games. Not a single one. But, I’ve seen other teams cheer for us, celebrate with us, and laugh with/at us. This team brings the fun! And, as promised, I will post more photos soon.

_________________

I ask you –

Have you been running or walking more lately?

On a scale of 1 to kicked off the court, how much laughing happens during a volleyball game? At one point, I was an 8.

Choose one: volleyball or yoga

(The post Activity Update first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pretending

Name that tune.

If I don’t start doing things with my life, I may be forced to research blog topics to keep this one going.

Name something you pretend to like! I really struggled with this question. The two people I asked upon hearing the question were met with resounding answers: a specific person, and their job. Definitely answers.

Even at this moment, I haven’t come up with an answer. I’m loving hearing others’, just haven’t come up with my own.

The photo below is an indicator of what goes on behind closed doors, aka Parts taking a math test. For 4 hours!

Other things –

Spent some time in the dark last week due to a power outage so I ate my standard salad in the fitness center lobby with my feet propped up. Glorious break.

There’s a nearby home with both a for sale sign and a garage sale sign out front. I’ve often wondered what the inside looks like. Bonus points for the continual police presence. Finally got my chance to poke around indoors – beautiful high ceilings, missing carpet, and a borderline hoarding issue. Hopefully someone rich will renovate it with an open-to-the-public invite. Nosy.

_________________

I ask you –

How long have you ever been without power? 23 days. Yes. Really.

Any guesses on Parts’ math test grade? Hint: it wasn’t pretty.

Name something you pretend to like!

(The post Pretending first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

25 Hours

Full disclosure: I read a post from another blogger who chronicled what she would talk about if she was the recent New Jersey senator who filibustered for 25 hrs.

As explained, there’s rules during a filibuster: “you can’t leave your desk area, you have to keep speaking for the entire time (unless you yield the floor to others to ask questions), you can’t go to the bathroom, you have to remain standing, and the only liquids allowed on the floor are tap water, sparkling water, and milk.”

Here’s my take if ever presented the opportunity to filibuster for a lengthy amount of time (because it’s so possible in my line of work) –

1. Read my entire 470+ page dissertation, complete with a detailed explanation of every graph, chart, and figure.

2. Demonstrate every known Pilates and yoga exercise.

3. Enunciate every word ending in -th in the KJV Bible.

4. Recount, then promptly forget, every historical sexual partner. This is hilarious, Kel.

And now I’m just writing random crap on here to see who actually reads these posts because I know it will garner some comments. On that note, I’m done.

_______________________

I ask you –

Were you aware of the 25 hour filibuster?

What would you share, if it was you on the senate floor?

…I’d like to request coffee be added to the list of available beverages…

(The post 25 Hours first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)