Re-Post! Unearthly Expectations

Re-Post from October 30, 2023 – deep in the archives of RoF! I promise to return soon with new, unread material!

As expected, my foots need expert, aka surgical, attention. You know – for all that technology has accomplished, how come there’s only a few options for feet? I did all the others. The surgeon was quite incredulous when I requested to have surgery on both feet simultaneously. But I persevered! Eventually, he came around to my way of thinking but it took some convincing. First, he says it’s dangerous when you can’t walk under your own power. Then, he says the pain may be too much. His final attempt at dissuading me was my mental health. Something about suffering from depression when unable to run.

I counteracted his every argument by saying I will sit at home and be a good patient; I have a high pain tolerance; and it makes more sense to have both feet done to allow me to complete my coursework at one time.

Then, when I visited my muse, her advice wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear but valuable nonetheless. She said, “Kel, you’re still Wonder Woman, but it’s an unearthly expectation to do all the things just because you can.” Granted, her words stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider my decision. For a time. It’s difficult considering all the unknown variables, including being unable to play in the intramural volleyball league as originally planned. Now, I’ll just coach!

My wingwoman and I

So, all this to say my mind is pretty much made up. I may come to regret it but both feet is the way to go. Despite the circumstances and outliers, I know I can persevere. And I will.

Yet every time you make it through something that doesn’t kill you or land you in jail, there’s this overwhelming feeling of excitement and gratitude. I live for it.

___________________

I ask you –

Any big decisions on the horizon?

Could this be the dumbest decision I’ve made? It very well could be.

Tell me about your superpowers!

(The post Re-Post! Unearthly Expectations first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post! Peace in your heart; Laughter on your lips

Re-post from March 4, 2024 – please enjoy while I’m out of office, out of my mind, out of…money whilst eating all the gelato!

‭‭Isaiah 55:11 NIV‬‬
[11] so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The Scripture above is Jesus speaking; however, what if we spoke with this in mind, that each time words exited our lips, we fully understood our words have power to speak life, or death, over others. In a society saturated with people speaking and giving opinions, sharing with intentional life isn’t as prevalent as one would hope.

Lately, I’ve struggled with focusing on one task. I’ve been pacing, mind racing from one thought to another, unable to keep up with the flood of to-do’s. For a moment, I considered maybe this was a late life onset of ADHD. I’ve heard sometimes anxiety is mistaken as ADHD and vice versa – what if that was true for me. But I think I’m just feeling the magnitude of ending the preliminary portion of the dissertation process and considering what the next year will look like. Somehow it’s already here, what seemed impossible in 2022 is now in its final stage. It’s difficult to wrap my mind around that truth.

Focus, Kel. Trying to soak in all the things before writing takes me away from it is unfathomable. However, I did attend a game night where I managed to win at Rock/Paper/Scissors. First try, no less. Yes, I’m bragging. Funnily, when it comes to competition Rock/Paper/Scissors – I always win. No lie. Well….I’ve won 2 “competition-style” matches, if you will. The first was for a third martini flight which I absolutely should not have had, mostly because I was already 8 martinis in and definitely did not need 4 more. Consequently, I don’t remember much about that night except winning the game for another flight. Weird.

Any Way – focus, will you – I won a Starbucks gift card to fund my coffee and winning habit. Not a bad night. And, of course, my name tag says Parts. And, of course, hers said Spare Parts. Because all we do is laugh together.

————————–

I ask you –

What does peace in your heart look like to you?

Have you ever been on a winning streak?

Tell me about your favorite game! Spoons.

(The post Re-Post! Peace in your heart; Laughter on your lips first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-post!!! Did we make it?

By the time you read this, I’ll officially be on vacation numero uno. Enjoy this fun re-post.

From the archives, dated 15 April 2024-

I considered not even prepping this post in case the Eclipse of 2024 turned into Apocalypse 2024. Alas, I like to be prepared. Just in case, you know.

But if I didn’t write this post, you wouldn’t be entertained with the most ridiculous photos of my whackadooness. Out of everyone enjoying the eclipse, I think I had the most fun. And definitely got the most compliments for my headwear!

I also have an 8 yr old now. When did this happen? Now, she asks hard questions and is a mini gremlin upon wakeup. Not unlike age 7. I just want her hands to always stay this small.

Alas, the volleyball season has come to an end (for our team anyway). The official record is 4-4, which isn’t bad in my book. Sure, we beat ourselves up several times and missed a few easy volleys but, personally, I made it out alive so that’s a win! One teammate wasn’t so fortunate; he suffered an ankle fracture early season. If all I had was bruises of varying degrees and a heavy reliance on ibuprofen and heating pads – meh.

Definitely worth it. But maybe next time I’ll just coach.

_______________

I ask you –

Did you check out the eclipse? Better question, who didn’t?

What do you think of my hat-making skills?!

Tell me how old you’ll be at the next eclipse! Just add 20.

(The post Did we make it? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Brain & Body Health

I saw a funny Instagram post which basically said I didn’t realize I’d be navigating my daughter’s PMS while also battling perimenopause. I’m doomed. Although I suspect perimenopause is a recently concocted term for all the space and unknown leading to menopause, if this is it then it’s very real.

My memory has taken a nosedive downhill. We all attributed it to PhD brain, work stress, the usual. But when mini started commenting on how I couldn’t even finish a full sentence… yikes. Time to make some changes.

Insert brain vitamins! It’s still the first week, and maybe it’s a placebo effect, but I do feel more focused! Will report back.

Saturday evening I decided to pause my run plan. The past 2 weeks, Garmin has indicated my training status as “straining”. I thought it meant I was coming out of “peaking”, which I had been, but I also thought straining was positive. Ha. Wrong.

It has been struggle city. I haven’t hit any of the prescribed paces, constantly tired, not sleeping well…classic symptoms of overtraining. And perimenopause. All this to say, I’m taking a break. Literally and figuratively. I’ll be back soon.

_________________

I ask you –

What does straining mean to you?

(The post Brain & Body Health first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Ohhhhhhhh Chem

In a recent conversation, the concept of college students studying came up. Duh, yes, I know. This particular conversation revolved around organic chemistry, or O-chem, as it’s known. As anything chemistry-related is way beyond my vocabulary, I considered what it must be like to understand the subject enough to pursue it in academia. Surely you are not an intellectual slacker to love environmental science, etc.

Then, I realized anything that sounds like O-chem must be a punishment to the rest of us. So what can I do with this information? Glad you asked. To counter the prison overpopulation issue, what if criminals (no disrespect, just using the generalized term) were told to complete college courses instead of facing jail time. Specifically, they had to earn a passing grade in basic studies. Or in O-chem. Education + time served. I think I’m on to something here.

My strong and sweet chair, Dr. Bates, sent me a graduation gift. Among the monogrammed bottle and kind note was an entire package of relaxation tools, such as body care, spa gifts, and candy. I don’t yet miss the neverending writing and rewriting, but I do miss my weekly conversations with her.

Back to prison. Not literally. I know college courses and some educational opportunities exist in the federal prison systems’ confines. However, I do not know the intricacies. Still, I believe O-chem has a place there. Just not in my life.

_________________

I ask you –

What do you think of my prisoner remediation plan? It’s a hit, right! every pun intended

(The post Ohhhhhhhh Chem first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Vacation-itis

The plan is to sort through the dozens of blog draft posts, partially-completed thoughts, and odds and ends within the messy spaces of my mind. Soon.

I’ll do a recap of my favorite races, runs, and generally well-thought-out fitness activities I’ve completed. Soon.

I’ll diligently apply for instructor/academic professor positions to gain a foothold within academia. ~~Soon.~~ Hey, I did this one! Upwards of 10 applications, but I guess whatever it takes.

On the hunt

I believe I’m suffering from an easily-cured but often recurring illness titled if-I-don’t-see-the-ocean-soon-I-might-not-make-it, commonly known as vacation-itis. It seems to hit around this time each year. It’s punctual. Fortunately, in keeping with my original plan to enjoy the first summer post-PhD, I scheduled numerous trips to combat the worst of the symptoms. In June, there was San Diego. Soon, there’s an actual girl’s trip to Gulf Shores. And, then, a week later, is the annual foray to South Padre Island. I have visited more bodies of water this summer than all previous summers combined. I don’t really know if this is true. I’ve spent time at pools, water parks, and large showers. And I’m not done yet!

There were a few days of moodiness, but I believe I’m on the mend. Especially when I consider how much summer fun is remaining!

_________________

I ask you –

Do you suffer from vacation-itis?

(The post Vacation-itis first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Casual Requests

It’s been said – by me – the issue which originally prompts seeking counseling/therapy/(whatever misnomer you choose) is not the true issue. Sure, it is probably an issue, but the underlying stuff heavily influences that particular issue and until some of it is resolved, then the issue will continue.

It’s psychology 101. Really. Human nature merges emotions with feelings and physical stuff. It plays out nearly daily in our personal and professional interactions. I have no desire to judge; however, my professional position warrants evaluating the mission’s needs with simple ability to do the job. Believe it or not, it can get very nasty when emotions overpower logic. Who needs common sense anyway.

In nearly every conversation with myself, and with others, I seek peace. Sure, it would be ideal on a global scale but many a hearts have changed when starting on a small scale. It’s called incrementalism. I think of it often, daily, continuously. Peace…in my heart, mind, and life. I can sense I’m getting close. Still waiting, somewhat more patiently than usual.

Lastly, if I could use this, I would.

Please – tell me what you think can be revealed that is so damaging to my reputation.

Please – because I’m well aware of my unpleasant past and I’d like to make sure the story is correct.

Please – do tell which stone you intend to throw so I may point you to the weakest window.

Please – paint your picture of beauty and sunshine so I can be the villain in your story.

Please – don’t forget to leave a comment because you can kiss my…forgiving heart and war-strengthened resolve…goodbye.

_________________

I ask you –

Do you have any requests to add?

(The post Casual Requests first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Defining Moments

I am sure everyone has small, unsuspecting yet defining moments to reference who/why they are the way they are. The title came to me when considering mini’s recent dance recital. Subsequent thoughts traversed from her love of dance and performing arts to my lack thereof. Instead, I thought back to a moment where I stood on a makeshift stage, speech in hand, ready to convince my entire middle school I deserved to be elected into the student council. I recall spending days forming my speech and reading it to my dad. It was good. If I do say so myself.

But after 2 students ahead of me, listening to their brief and not entirely convincing schpill, I second guessed myself. When it was my turn, I said my name, said please elect me, and quickly exited. Talk about disappointment. When my name was not called for the electees, it was no big surprise. But it was at that moment I knew I would not minimize myself again for something I truly wanted.

Hip Hop

Fast forward. A singular moment in time shaped me. Just as you, loyal readers, have similar (or vastly different) experiences, these moments shape, erode, and refine. It’s fascinating how one experience can have lifelong effects. Mini will seemingly always love dance. She’s good at it, and if dancing doesn’t take her where she wants to be, assuredly her sass will.

Credit: IG

_________________

I ask you –

Share a time you didn’t bring your A-game.

(The post Defining Moments first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Picking it back up

I didn’t realize I really only spent 6 years of my life in the “white house”, the now dilapidated, overgrown photo in the bottom left corner (above). Just 6 years. Yet somehow those years, although formidable, encompass a vast amount of trauma, memories, and pieces of my life I spent a majority running from.

RoF has captured my time “back home”. Since it’s been several weeks now from the last time I visited, the picture (no pun intended) is much clearer in my mind. I love how family still lives near and have molded new lives of their own, with beautiful memories which add to my collection. Mini and I discuss my dad and other parts of the family; however, I’m hesitant to share too much as it’s not her burden to carry.

Fortunately, I believe I’m in a good place in life to acknowledge a memory then release it. The book awaits. As I haven’t tried writing in years, soon it will be time to proverbially pick up the pen again. As new memories dull the sharpness of unpleasant ones, I’m mindful not to wait too long.

_________________

I ask you –

Have you started writing a book/novel/short story to be derailed for a lengthy amount of time?

(The post Picking it back up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Ohhhhh, San Diego

Because the line was so long, approx 27 people with the average wait time of 52 minutes, I have no photos of the incredible ice cream at An’s Electronics Repair. At this point, An’s has invested in dry cleaning, hat making, and, now, electronics. What a marketing and business genius. The truth is she has the very best ice cream in…anywhere. You should partake at every single location, as I have.

Cookies were the theme of this jaunt to San Diego. Coco and Jules Cookies were my favorite, while Cookie Plug was trying a little too hard. But did I eat the cookies? Well, yes.

Tacos, coffee, and chicken pot pie rounded out the menu. Turns out I’m not a fan of chicken pot pie. I know others who adore it. Just not me.

Tacos El Gordo

Breakfast Republic

Acento Coffee

The Chicken Pie Shop

Quite the successful and relaxing trip. I managed 3 runs and 1 workout. I’d gladly pay extra to have San Diego weather year-round. In fact, the first run back in Texas was a glorious disaster. From heat and humidity to stiff muscles and uncertain hydration status, I was a walking risk. Alas, it will return.

__________________________

I ask you –

If you’ve been to San Diego – name your favorite places there! Food, too!

(The post Ohhhhh, San Diego first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)