More Prison Stuff

Radio question: could you escape prison? First thought – absolutely no. Next thought – why yes, I think I could. Nevermind the escape part, I think I could even thrive in prison. I’m a likeable woman. I can make friends easily. I’m understanding and hilarious! Not only would I do well in prison but I’d also be able to escape using the skills I presently have.

I could play a lot of games, like spoons!

Case in point: I can break things. Now, you may be wondering how this would help me but I think this skill is underutilized. Perhaps breaking things would present an opportunity to escape. It would require people much more skilled in fixing things to correct what I broke so maybe I befriend them to help me escape.

Example #2: I’m a wildcard, a swing state, if you will. When I enlisted at age 27, my strategy for navigating the drama and noise of boot camp was to lay low, speak to no one, and wake up very early for time alone. Armed with my contraband – tweezers and nail clippers – I kept myself sane. Toward the end, when my fellow Sailors needed more people on their sides for shift switches and all that, I had bargaining power because I’d been able to watch and evaluate personalities for an extended period of time. I remain close with only one of those ladies. The rest…wow. Anyway, I’m industrious and no one would expect it from me, making escape entirely plausible.

Granted, I hope I never make a prison appearance but I won’t rule it out. It could be fun. Friends, food, and unlimited workouts. Maybe I’m on to something.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Could you escape from prison?

Have you ever escaped from prison?!

Tell me something funny!

Summer Update, wk 1

Wk 1 of mini’s Californian vacation –

I watched trashy albeit hilarious movies. Huge Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin fan. No, I don’t care about her past. I played on my phone for hours and got zero accomplished. Maybe I wrote a little. Maybe I didn’t. And I lost my voice, presumably attributed to the previous 2 week’s battle with allergies and a summer cold. Moms don’t have time to be sick. And we all know I need a voice when mini is around. Can you imagine? When I think about trying to parent her sans voice, I recognize the propensity for her to be leading a small country. Hmmmm. Maybe she’s the secret weapon to domination. I’ll tout this idea to leadership.

Additionally, I played nearly 2 hours of volleyball, got invited to play on a team for the remainder of the month, and ran. I ran a lot. Eventually my voice came back and people stopped avoiding me. Mini, on the other hand, is enjoying a semi-heated pool, new friends, and probably all the Youtube she could dream of. It makes me laugh when I think of how well-traveled and blessed she is; she really has no idea. While I sit here and go a little crazy with worry, she lives her very best life. Life is a little funny like that.

Miles are a cruel and unforgiving mistress that take nothing else into account but distance. So as I rack up the miles, in June no less, I try to fill my time with papers and plans. This week’s paper wasn’t so bad but next week’s has turned into a sweltering dumpster fire of garbage. Hot flipping garbage. But I’ll get an A. It’s what I do.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Do you prefer funny or serious movies?

When was the last time you lost your voice?

I wonder what semi-heated actually means. Slightly above freezing, I presume.

Go Fast Shoes!

Can we talk about how I’ve been missing out on speed shoes?! Long story short – I have weird, messed up feet from wearing the wrong size boots for 4 yrs. Turns out the Navy only measured one of my feet during gear issuance time (I have two feet) and issued boots that fit one foot properly. Now, I take a ton of responsibility in this mistake because I didn’t speak up. In my defense, bad things tended to happen to people who spoke up so there’s that. Eventually, it felt like the boots fit properly because after a certain amount of time your feet become deformed to fit the shape they are forced into. Long story not so short.

Which leads me to the present. Two different lengths and widths of feet complete with incredibly painful bunions (I think that’s what they are) which leave me self conscious and in pain almost constantly.

team weird feet

Moving on. I wear very supportive Brooks Adrenaline GTS shoes for nearly all my runs. However, I noticed a sale on the Brooks Hyperion Tempo, a version of their speed shoes. When people say “money ain’t a thang” they are lying. It’s definitely a thing! Sale…shoes…yes, please!

My feet felt like walking on clouds. Not super supportive, duh, they’re incredibly lightweight, but they made me feel like I could run faster than I’ve ever run before! By the time you’re reading this post, I’ll have completed another stride workout in these fancy shoes.

Obviously these are not my everyday shoes and certainly not made for long runs. However, when I want to feel fast – these do the trick.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Tried any new shoes lately?

If you also have them, what is your opinion of the Hyperions?

Share a speedy story!

It Keeps Happening!

Can I just tell you I’ve never been more worried – and that’s saying a lot – than when I was researching leadership styles and an article I was considering using popped up in Russian. My brain: well, this is how it ends for you, Kel.

Buzzwords are the bane of my existence. Using key words to research and filter through the amassed collection of literally thousands of journal articles, I’ve discovered it’s easier to find articles relating to resilience (current buzzword) than self-confidence (no longer a buzzword, I guess). Although I deeply love anything related to resilience – I instruct resiliency methods nearly weekly to military and civilians – the art of the buzzword is not lost on me. Indeed, it makes perusing journal articles either very productive or very frustrating.

“One of the most precious gifts you can give your family is being emotionally secure and healthy.” I received quite a few responses and some incredible feedback regarding last week’s post about family drama. Nearly every time I’ve encountered others with conflict in their personal lives or in the process of healing relationships with loved ones my question has been…Do you have a therapist, a counselor, a mental health person you can confide in? Trust me – the work they do can be life changing and, sometimes, life saving.

On the note of personal lives, the baby niece I slept on a couch for over 12 hrs waiting to be born – she graduated. I am unwell. She looked gorgeous and relieved. Her mom cried a lot. And the ceremony was short . Alas, time is a thief.

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Have you looked up anything crazy lately?

What are your current buzzwords?

Tell me if you know anyone graduating soon!

Dollars & Sense

I’ve determined unless you’re an absolutely complete moron, then money can literally buy anything you want, including a doctoral degree. Maybe not a doctoral degree for an actual medical doctor but definitely one like I’m getting. Really. Because if the way some of my classmates write is any indication of their ability to form coherent sentences and be decent human beings, then money must be the reason they’ve made it this far. Sorry not sorry. Here I am stressing a dissertation I don’t even have to begin for another year and they’re writing like a sixth grader. Spoiler: we’ll probably all walk the stage at the same time which proves my suspicion that money can buy a degree.

You know what else money can buy? Pizza! And it makes me happy, too.

Money can also buy replacement body parts, especially when Spare Parts still hasn’t come through on the slightly used knees. Mine are starting to look and feel like I either make a living in the red light district or this volleyball hobby is getting the best of me. They’re so bruised I’ve been afraid to wear shorts to work lest someone question my evening habits or tell me I’m too old to play sports. Cue the daughter jokes again.

our most recent photo together

Lastly, speaking of jokes, it’s impolite to stare at someone in a public setting, then loudly proclaim, “Oh good, I found the other one!” as if twins are an unheard of phenomenon. We are not a scavenger hunt. I really don’t understand the fascination. Parts and I don’t even look that much alike! And, I know of at least one other set of twins (identical) who also work on the installation. Maybe they have better luck than Parts and I.

And by luck I mean people don’t stare like they’re a circus act. Or at least say hello first!

__________________________

I ask you –

Have you ever had a taste of humble pie?

Do you like fried green tomatoes?

Rumor has it there will be a photo shoot with mini and cows!

Do you think money can buy anything?

On a scale of 1 to you’re insane if you don’t love it, how much do you like pizza?

Please share your advice or comeback phrases for the shock & awe twin encounters!

Always Making Plans

Results of the volleyball game(s) I elicited my staff to play with me. Game 1: win. Game 2: default win/by. Game 3: loss. Not sure about anyone else, but I had a fantastic time!

So much fun, in fact, by the time you’re reading this, we’re just a few hours short of another volleyball game I scheduled because…I can. My plan this summer is to write papers in early morning hours, then play volleyball in the afternoons! Can’t forget all those books I want to read, too.

Additionally, at the time of this posting, I’ll have started another class: Organizational Leadership and Behavior and something else and so forth. I swear I take this seriously. I need some volleyball shorts. Random.

Coming off an incredibly busy weekend + Mother’s Day has me exhausted. It seems like everyone was sick last week, there wasn’t a day without at least one call-in, and my wingwoman was voiceless. Pity I had to do all the talking for her. And I really can’t believe my niece is old enough for prom, much less about to graduate in a few weeks. I held her in my arms what feels like yesterday – how did we get here?

What’s that saying about babies don’t keep? They don’t. And I don’t like it much.

_______________________________

I ask you –

Are you a fan of volleyball?

Want to join my team?

Tell me if you have an upcoming graduation to attend!

(The post Always Making Plans first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

This is My Face

It’s official. No matter what I do, I give off mom vibes. To my coworkers, Spare Parts, and everyone else I’m around.

For example, Parts tells everyone I’m her mom and they believe her. She’s the oldest twin! Even prior to this – which is how the whole story got started – a coworker I knew had met Parts and asked if she knew me, then proceeded to ask Parts if I was her mother. FFS.

we’re not related at all

Example #2: my coworker/best friend/wingwoman McK and I went to a presentation. Someone whom I knew asked me if McK was my daughter. At first, I thought they had heard the stories of Parts. Oh no, they were serious.

CMSgt Bass and McK, my other daughter (apparently)

Example #3: the same wingwoman and I went to an appointment for her. Unfortunately, McK had a bout of laryngitis so I did the speaking for her since she could only whisper. As they took her to the back, the nurses asked did she want her mother to come? McK kindly declined but I HEARD IT ALL!

Soon I’ll be accepting suggestions for plastic surgery and a Botox provider. But maybe it’s not my face. Maybe it’s my attitude, the way I take charge and speak first. If that’s the case, then I’m doomed to forever be everyone’s mom.

Seriously, though, these expensive facial products are clearly not helping. Lies!

________________

I ask you –

Have you ever been mistaken for someone’s parent?

Do you think some people just give off a certain aura?

Now taking suggestions for plastic surgery. I need your input, please!

(The post This is My Face first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Reminds Me of an Analogy –

I spent 2 weeks working on my final paper related to public service motivation theory in the human resource management field, to include the surrounding legalities. That’s really a lot of words. Determined to satisfy a hunch that it didn’t really matter if I had a beautiful outline, abstract, and annotated bibliography, I thought maybe I had put a lot of work in vain into the preparation phase.

Dammit, she was right. It was kind of nice to see this paper come together based on what I had already accomplished. Truly, a good outline makes a difference. And I knew what to expect from the literature because I’d already found everything I needed. Also – way to go, Kel! – I had the foresight to notate source and page number on the outline so I could return to my thought process when I wrote it. Such a genius.

Sometimes my heart starts beating uncontrollably and I get that sick feeling in my stomach when I think about writing a dissertation. Hello, anxiety, my good friend. It feels like a mountain I must climb and I dread it. But then something small like this comes together – and there’s a glimmer of hope. One bite at a time. Interestingly, I can definitely see how higher education can make someone cynical and put off by this field.

the many faces of paper writing

However, just like life to kick you a little to remind you who is actually in charge, what I thought was a 10 day break turned into a 3 day break. Although I can’t complain because 3 days is better than 0 days, clearly I’m struggling reading a monthly calendar hence the break is probably much needed. May is quite the wild ride of social and personal engagements. Who needs a break anyway.

_____________________

I ask you –

Are you an emotional facial expressionist?

What does an ideal break look like?

Tell me what brings you joy!

(The post Reminds Me of an Analogy – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Thank You for Tuning In

A great guy doth not a leader make.
Me, after espresso

Therefore, on the day of our fearless unit leader returning to his rightful throne, aka big messy desk, I thought it fitting to mark his homecoming with a post. After all, he did hire me, unbeknownst to his well-being.

Fortunately for you all this post really isn’t about him. Exhale.

It’s about all the cool things I’ve done lately, you know, with all my spare time and non-demanding job requirements. Right. Those things.

a visit to 217 Coffee St

Returned to my first sport love: volleyball! I voluntold my coworkers that we were playing and they indulged me. This is fun! Note: a well developed running base sure does make volleyball a lot easier. What doesn’t make volleyball fun? A bandaged toe from racing a General (he didn’t know we were racing but of course we were) and the oft overlooked but no less important underboob. Well, the chafing of the underboob was the problem. Anyway, if you’re still reading after the mention of underboob – said three times now – then welcome to Running on Fumes, where we (and by we I mean I) type the ridiculous things that come to mind.

maximum, for sure

Fairly sure there was a point to this post.

Oh. Right. Cool things. I did stand out in the blazing heat giving out tickets to a drawing held by Spare Parts and the team of fabulous marketing folks who make all my wildest creative dreams come true. Mostly posters and schedules because I’m not creative at all. Also, I packed up an entire event’s worth of stuff in about 6 mins flat at the mention of severe thunderstorm, lightning, and hail. Did I already state it was hotter than jalapeno cornbread? They supplied me with multiple bottles of cold water, I worked for free. Until next year.

______________________

I ask you –

What’s your favorite sport? I particularly like curling.

Is it still cool where you live or getting hot?

Tell me your thoughts on cornbread! Yuck. Not a fan.

(The post Thank You for Tuning In first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

But Can We?

At times, I think I’m too focused on the behavioral aspect of, well, everything. Human behavior is one of the most fascinating parts of life. I want to know why people are the way they are, why they do what they do, and what the thought process was to get them there. Pretty sure I’m the most trustworthy person in the entire world. I mean, the Navy trusts me and I keep all their secrets, so … No fear I’ll tell anyone else’s. Promise.

As usual, I digress. Focus! Maybe this is why – I’m always evaluating my papers from the behavioral perspective. Not that I’m not focused on solutions but I sincerely want to understand the underlying causes and thought process. And maybe the foolishness leading people to bad ideas. Been there.

But I think it’s also a limitation. My muse stated, “sometimes we can’t make sense of things.” My heart believes that…yet my brain is on a rollercoaster of Oh Yes We Can! I want to know all the things. I want to make sense of it. During a recent “What Color Is Your Brain?” training, it turns out I’m a red. Obviously.

So the real question here is how best to utilize my red brain, especially around the super sentimental blue-brained people and the OCD yellow people and the very creative orange-brainers. And, on that note, even as I write this with a clingy 7 yr old attached to my side, I know in my heart – I still need to go write another paper. Why am I like this?

I ask you –

Does human behavior fascinate you?

Have you ever taken this particular training? If so, what color were you?

Tell me what you have going on this week! Wk 7 of 8. So close.

(The post But Can We? appeared here at Running on Fumes.)