Language Lessons

Today’s topic is cleverly titled “Armchair Quarterback of Military English and Psychology”, i.e., the belief you’re using words correctly. You couldn’t be further from the truth. Let me help.

Literally: (courtesy of Oxford Dictionary) in a literal manner or sense; exactly. If you (literally) don’t know how to use it, please use these words instead: actually, completely, directly, plainly, precisely, really, simply, truly

Figuratively speaking: metaphorical speech; the opposite of literal. If it doesn’t involve using words or phrases with a meaning that is different from usual, in order to create a particular mental picture, then just don’t.

Toxic: (when used as a noun) having a very unpleasant personality, especially in the way they like to control and influence other people in a dishonest way. 1980s self-help books are mostly responsible for the increased usage of the word toxic, helping it reach the coveted status of Oxford Dictionary’s Word of 2018. It’s been downhill since then.

Gaslighting: the act of manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity or reality through psychological means. Notably, the word gaslight is included in the Oxford English Dictionary’s 2023 Banished Words List, as a word that should be removed from people’s vocabulary due to its overuse and misuse. I second that.

Circleback (or circle back): (courtesy of Merriam-Webster) to return to a topic or discussion at a later time. Just use revisit or follow up. No one wants to circle back to anything. Trust me. All you’re doing is talking in circles.

Foot-stomp: in the military, it means to emphasize or highlight important information. It’s redundant. Instead, just repeat the information. You’re going to anyway. Why waste words?

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I ask you –

Did any of the above terms strike a chord?

Have you been incorrectly using these words? Yes, you have.

Add to my list!

(The post Language Lessons first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Can you help me out?

Remember those commercials in the 1900s with the sad music and a montage of puppies, always ending with some slogan about how for less than $1 a day, you can sponsor a pet… what was the singer’s name?

Not quite the same but along the same lines, I fantasized about traveling after my PhD and thought to myself how I need to make extra money. The first idea was to give up something daily I spend money on. For many people, it’s an $8/day coffee. Or $20/pack of cigarettes. Fill in the blank. I make my own coffee and don’t smoke. And, if you think I’m giving up coffee, forget it. I’ll sell feet photos before I do that.

my rainy morning dose of sunshine

But now that I have over 500 subscribers, hopefully it won’t come to extreme measures.

Who is the 501th? Or is it 501st?

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I ask you –

Do I drink too much coffee?

What daily habit would you give up?

Name the female singer of the sad song with puppies.

(The post Can you help me out? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fighting the Good Fight

In an unexpected turn of (good) news, Parts and I had a frank discussion about how our childhood expectations have influenced us as parents. As much as I love and miss my grandparents, the differences between their lives and mine are stark. Sparse coping skills, ineffective decisions, questionable parenthood techniques. Not to say this wasn’t the norm then; however, the saying “we always want better for our children” is a bit of a rally cry.

Credit: unknown via Instagram

Parts and I are decision makers, family leaders, cycle breakers. We ask questions, we demand accountability, and we choose those who will walk beside us. What we don’t need is to beg for attention, and we don’t want peace disruptors. Life is complicated enough as it is without adding drama. Our lives were filled with drama, nearly all of it out of our control.

But, just saying ‘don’t make the same mistakes I did’ isn’t nearly enough. We lead by example, by sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. We share the why. We communicate. Listen, then speak.

Credit: artofpoets via Instagram

All this to encourage others to speak up, to speak out, to share their stories in an effort to change the status quo. There is so much out there to experience.

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I ask you –

What lately has caused you to stop and reconsider childhood and adulthood differences?

Do you lead by example?

For my Veteran friends and family, wishing you a day of peaceful remembrance. Happy Veteran’s Day!

(The post Fighting the Good Fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

When it’s busy

In several years, this is the first time I’ve had a full staff. Every position filled, with both new and seasoned employees keeping me on my toes. Yet, I’m the lucky one. Nearly daily, I marvel at the opportunity to be their leader. Someone believed in me, chose me, to lead them. It’s an honor unlike anything else. We have frank, real, deep conversations. I feel their respect when I explain the why.

Get it together. Some days it feels as if everyone is a psychology major. Words from the DSM (current edition DSM-5-TR) are now buzzwords. For example, imposter syndrome. Never heard of it until recently, now we can’t unhear it. I believe the concept is real; however, using it as an excuse for not stepping up is irritating. Sometimes there is no one more qualified than you, regardless of what your insecurities tell you. Be the leader. Do good things.

A small portion of Team Fitness

Nevertheless, transitioning from employee to mentor to leader is not for the weak. It is a lot of needs to balance! I do my best to share the big picture, the budget constraints, always the why behind decisions, yet some are reluctant to grasp the entire narrative. How many times have I done the same.

Tis the season for a million demands on my time. From a weekend with multiple events to planning upcoming holiday activities, it can be hard to take a deep breath. I don’t know how some people manage to float from one busy weekend to the next. My brain is tired just contemplating what’s on the agenda

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I ask you –

How often do you use the term imposter syndrome?

What’s on your calendar?

Advice for the break takers!

(The post When it’s busy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

How Dare You Suggest!

Garmin has lost its mind; specifically, the suggested workouts function. This thing suggested I do a 30 min run at 10:35′ without a warm-up. I’m old. I require a warm-up. At least 5 mins!

Then, the following day, it suggested a temp run, 6×1:00 at 7:20′. 7:20′! I’ve never run that pace in my life. 7:20′ is like running from a pack of hungry lions. I think I’ve played in the 8-8:30’s – never a sustained 7-anything for 1 min. Craziness.

So you know what I did? I ran it. Because “can’t” isn’t in my vocabulary. And you know what happened? I ran like hungry lions were chasing me. It wasn’t pretty, it hurt a lot, and I disliked every interval, but I did it.

Then the next day I made an appointment because I suspect something is wrong with my meniscus again. It feels like fireworks inside the inner knee, and the tell tale stretched rubber band. Or maybe it’s all related to my feet. Remember, I had planned to have double toe surgery the early part of 2024, then I scrapped those plans altogether. It is still on the horizon sans date. The suggestion was to handle it sooner rather than later. Like stop signs, right? Just suggestions.

But I continue to run, to make time for exercise, no matter the consequences. At this point, I’d rather be in pain than stop all activity, to the detriment of my body. Maybe that’s why I have spare parts.

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I ask you –

Do you follow Garmin’s suggested workouts?

What type of workout did you do last? Strength training.

Might you be willing to donate a healthy knee to my cause?!

(The post How Dare You Suggest! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Turtle Races and some other stuff

Resubmitted my manuscript last week in hopes they’ll approve it for proposal defense. Now I wait. Again.

In the meantime, I’ve been reading, and running. A lot actually. And drinking copious amounts of coffee, but that isn’t new. I’ve also cleaned, paced, and generally avoided saying much.

On the bright side, October ushered in cooler weather and I want to spend every day outside. Might even move my desk outdoors.

Not sure if I’ve shared yet – my favorite mug from McK. She gets me.

Small town things – a turtle race! I can just see numerous children the week of the race scavenging for turtles. Some large, some small, hopefully none that snap. Probably lots of angry parents.

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I ask you –

Did/does your hometown celebrate homecoming, etc. with a festival? My little 1A school did not.

Have you ever kept a (wild) turtle as a pet?

Tell me your go-to fall activity!

(The post Turtle Races and some other stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Making my way downtown…

…walking fast, the faces pass, and I’m homebound.

Name that tune.

Eating my way through San Diego, the land of beautiful people, fast drivers, and an overwhelming air of busy.

Allow me to present the evidence. On the left is a huge ice cream cone, filled with the loveliest I may have ever tasted. The establishment is called An’s Dry Cleaning. I also visited her other location, An’s Hatmakers. Unassumingly incredible.

Relatedly, on the right is the return of Blue Bell’s winter flavor, peppermint bark. I must try it.

Exhibit C is above. That beautiful drink is a salted caramel latte from Breakfast Republic. I also ordered one to go because I needed – needed! – another. There’s a food photo to go with this, but who really cares. The coffee was impeccable.

Also not pictured are the asada tacos from El Gordon’s, spicy chicken sandwiches from the Liberty Public Market, an unbelievable pastrami sandwich from Chris’s Liquor and Deli, a mouthwatering tri tip sandwich from Jensen’s, and, one of my favorites, the sushi at Sushi Deli. Ask me about those Shishito Peppers. Admittedly, I am a cheat. Long story.

Exhibit D is a rich, luxurious peanut butter beer, think Guinness meets peanut butter whiskey, found at Belching Beaver Brewery. It was great, even if it was so heavy. I tried a few others elsewhere, but this was definitely my favorite.

…Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you.

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I ask you –

Are you aware of any catchy establishments with misleading names?

What are your thoughts on peppermint bark?

Tell me your San Diego of food.

(The post Making my way downtown… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Yes, I know.

I know I wrote the word policy 561 times but it didn’t have to be pointed out so negatively.

I know it’s 335 pages. Oh yes. I KNOW. I’m too wordy. Roger that.

I know I can’t do the research until the research committee gods bless my manuscript with holy hands.

I know I’m a public administration doctoral candidate. Did you know public admin and public policy are irrefutably connected? Exactly.

I know I don’t have all the time to read these books. But it won’t stop me from adding to the ever growing list.

I know it doesn’t seem like much but I managed to chop my paper by 30 pages while keeping the integrity of the literature. Now, we wait. Again.

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I ask you –

What word do you overuse? soooooooo

How much time do you have to read?

Accepting more book suggestions. Again.

(The post Yes, I know. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Is This Really What We’re Doing?

Recently I met a woman who told me her jacked, veined arms were genetic. Are you telling me those boobs are genetic, too? Because you’ve had some work done. Never mind the cystic acne that screams steroids. Ok, sure.

Relatedly, I saw a “content creator” filming a new “project” inside an undisclosed gym involving very little clothing and somehow labeled a workout. You weigh 17 lbs. Gtfo

More and more, I crave conversations of substance. I loathe the small talk of (primarily) women who want to discuss weight loss or what size would make them feel valuable. I, too, avoid a man detailing the promise of a new carburetor. I want depth. Not elections, not the ho-hum of daily garbage, but the real, what-do-you-think-about stuff.

point to the Pacific

But, everything is ok. Just ok. My manuscript came back last week with the nice message, “major revisions”. I’m too wordy. Time to synthesize, clarify, and edit. Minimize, if you will. So, as I chop,chop,chop this dissertation to an undetermined length, I question myself and what I’m doing.

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I ask you –

Do you question, well, everything?

Are your boobs real? Your muscles the epitome of hard work?

Inquiring minds must know – what is the ideal page length? Under 300, I guess.

(The post Is This Really What We’re Doing? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Memory Lane + Soundtrack

Song #1

Music is impenetrably tied to memories. The weather change, a few notes of a song, and I’m transported back to a simpler time. Nights and weekends were spent escaping the confines of a small town via open windows and slow drives down dusty back roads. Extra points if you managed to get lost. Many life lessons were learned with good friends, some of those lessons without a statute of limitations. Shameless.

20 years post-high school graduation, the memories still live rent free in my head, which today is mostly clouded with busy work and anxiety. Oh, but how I love to go back to those moments in time that made me me.

Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

Admittedly, I had a wild side that I balanced with being top of my class and working hard to support myself. Untouchable. An interesting word which would eventually come back around to describe me in a different career. Although this may sound like bragging, I can assure you it’s not. It probably kept me safe on more than one occasion, even if it didn’t prevent the absolutely worst humans intent on harm. I’m still standing.

Song #2

My dissertation anthem. I believe I intended to write a different post near the end of this journey but I probably won’t remember what I was planning to say then so why not.

Music and memories, that’s where it’s at. Fairly certain I’ve published other posts along the same lines, get it, get it, but my tag skills are rough so it hasn’t been easy to find.

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I ask you –

Did you own cassette tapes?

What old song is living in your head?

Tell me about your anthem!

(The post Memory Lane + Soundtrack first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)