Fighting the good fight

Today, the day got the best of me. I felt no emotion in a situation where I probably should have. I know it was there before. But today? No dice.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-criteria-exceptional-work-ethic-april-donovan

Occasionally I attend self-care and self-help type presentations. Or I give them. Something I like to mention are the effects of mental load. Most people are familiar with Newton’s something or other law about pressure and load and force, etc. The same applies to humans. The mental load of caring for, disciplining, and explaining life to other humans is remarkably taxing on the mind.

For example, making a grocery list. First, come up with meal ideas. Then, write those down. Next, consider what ingredients to purchase for those meals. But, first, find out what ingredients are already on hand. Scratch out, rewrite, repeat. This is a smaller mental load than, for example, disciplining employees. It’s no wonder the Facebook guru dude only wears blue shirts and jeans. Less mental load!

https://neurosciencenews.com/moms-mental-load-28244/

Before any other parents or parenting partners get their feelings hurt (I do the laundry, I cook!), yes, typically, mothers carry the heaviest mental load. Maybe it’s by default, maybe it’s the natural order of life, I’m not a doctor of that stuff. What I can say is the stress of being responsible for child-related tasks is more of a motherly duty.

All this to make a point about mental load in the workplace, especially for those with supervisory roles, balancing employees’ needs with the mission’s needs. Some days I offer feedback to adults acting like children, and some days I escape the day unscathed, with most of my sanity still intact. And on the roughest days, no matter the dazed and confused look I carry for hours, the next day brings renewed joy and hope to fight the good fight.

Some people are caretakers. Some are takers. The mental load finds balance where it can.

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I ask you –

Before this post, had you heard of mental load?

How often do you consider the load of mundane tasks?

Which are you: caretaker or taker.

(The post Fighting the good fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards

The title of this post is admittedly paraphrased from a radio show host who shared a sweet phrase she saw graffiti’d on a building: “It only takes a second to tell someone something beautiful”. Obviously, the radio host indicated graffiti is vandalism, but it made me wonder why not greeting cards? Why not share inspirational quotes and phrases, lick the envelope, and send it on its way? How much are stamps? Probably less than defacing public property charges.

Did you know commercial greeting cards originated in 1860? Me neither.

The several cards received. (not pictured)

_________________

I ask you –

I doubt many will answer, but have you ever grafitti’d something?

Do you send greeting cards?

Effective 13 July 2025, postage stamp prices will increase to $0.78.

(The post Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Sun and Swords

Woman seeking… mosquito repellent. Specifically, a mosquito repellent-infused lotion that doesn’t smell like my childhood. Have I ever mentioned the citronella s’mores?!

Also, a Gummy-repellant would be nice, too. For the first 45 days, I had a life lifter which meant the available lives were increased to 5 from 3. Now, I get 3 lives. First world problems.

On average, it takes me about 10-12 months to fully learn a position, enough to become the SME of responsibilities. So, lately when I’ve had extra time on my hands, I find small projects to share whatever knowledge I possess. At this moment, it’s records management, which everyone despises. Necessary evil. Next year? Who knows. But my 5 yr plan most definitely includes a sword and dragon. I’m partly there.

_________________

I ask you –

What are your thoughts on mosquitoes?

How long does it take to learn your role?

Name something in your 5 year plan!

(The post Sun and Swords first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Order of Leaders

We could beat people when they’re down, but it doesn’t make us leaders, it makes us tyrants. Recently, a leader in my organization approached me without fanfare, without ulterior motive, to share a situation encountered unbeknownst to me. He was concerned, he expressed empathy. And although I knew of the logistics of the situation, I hadn’t known the full picture. He offered grace rather than condemnation. He offered care as opposed to vindication or punishment. That’s a leader.

It has arrived!

Although the photo is not inherently leadership related, and neither is the following story, it will get me there. Standby.

The past few weekends have been packed with conferences. One I spoke at, the other I did not. However, each brought together hundreds of people looking for connection and community, and offered an opportunity to share stories. One may never know what another is dealing with until their story is shared. There were several what not to do’s, also.

I have probably never shared on this platform the struggle with my name, but I find others with similar issues when I share. Even mini has expressed an issue with her own name and its similarities to a popular name which causes people to mispronounce it. She despises this. All this to say, we each have struggles. In an effort to overcome these struggles and become great leaders, we must listen first and act second.

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I ask you –

How often do organizational leaders jump to conclusions?

Care to share a story of your own?

Tell me your best advice.

(The post Order of Leaders first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

A-ssumptions

A short collection of the common (not really) assumptions I have/do made/make –

In this age of water bottle availability of all types, sizes, and beverage capacity, I just assume any time I see someone drinking from a can, that they must be drinking beer.

I also refer to anyone who smokes cigarettes as a “rich person” because you must be rich to afford $9+/pack cigarettes.

I assume if someone knocks on my front door, they are there to sell me something or share the news someone close to me has died. Both are reasons I won’t answer the door.

I’ve previously shared about my irrational fear of dumpsters, but it’s a very real fear in my life. As is my disdain for convenience stores – they’re terrifying.

In researching other things, I found this article: 25 Assumptions Examples, a straightforward description of common assumptions. Many I had heard of but many I didn’t know the exact name for.

The more you know, the less a-ssumptions you make.

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I ask you –

What is one assumption in your life?

Did any listed in the article surprise you?

If all else fails, you know what happens when you assume.

(The post A-ssumptions first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Random Post, x3

Adorable birds nest cookies my MIL made. Nevermind the missing bites – taste test.

We won a game which means we technically tied for last place but that final game was a showstopper!

I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to coach and play with this amazing group of Wingmen.

Sorry, friends, I don’t have a lot to share today. Definitely more to come next week!

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I ask you –

Did you know what a candy birds’ nest was?

What was the chance of winning the final game? Less than 10%

Participation trophies: Yay or Nay? For others, no. For myself, sure!

(The post Random Post, x3 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Let’s Talk About It

Bonus points for the Good Mythical Morning reference.

On this blog, I’ve talked about pregnancy, postpartum issues, perimenopause things, and a whole lot of other stuff.

We haven’t talked about menstrual cycle-related cravings. We’re about to!

I don’t know about other women, as I’m only one, small blessings, but 7-10 days prior to my cycle, I crave chocolate like it will never be there for me ever again. And, somehow, my 39 yr old body has now discovered the joy that is peanut butter and chocolate. Together. Big shocker. From no bake cookies to no bake fudge to Lindt truffles to huge chunks of dark chocolate, there are no boundaries. And the longer I deny the craving, the worse it gets. I once woke up in the middle of the night to raid the cupboard for chocolate.

Of course, chocolate has all the feel good properties of illicit drugs, at least that’s how it’s perceived by our human brains. But the origin of a craving is bizarre. Most research points to fluctuating hormone levels as the cause behind what we know as a craving, commonly for sweet or salty snacks.

Cravings are selective and intense, meaning the desire for a specific substance is overwhelming. Even the most trusted self help literature falls short of tried-and-true ways to overcome a craving. Nonetheless, I’ve lived with them for this long, what’s 50 years more.

Finally, I like to play a fun game affectionately titled why do my boobs hurt today? Running in an ill-fitting sports bra? Possibly. PMS symptom? Most likely. It’s always a blast around here, lemme tell ya’.

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I ask you –

Do you like chocolate and peanut butter together?

What fun game do you like to play?

Name your oddest craving!

(The post Let’s Talk About It first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pretending

Name that tune.

If I don’t start doing things with my life, I may be forced to research blog topics to keep this one going.

Name something you pretend to like! I really struggled with this question. The two people I asked upon hearing the question were met with resounding answers: a specific person, and their job. Definitely answers.

Even at this moment, I haven’t come up with an answer. I’m loving hearing others’, just haven’t come up with my own.

The photo below is an indicator of what goes on behind closed doors, aka Parts taking a math test. For 4 hours!

Other things –

Spent some time in the dark last week due to a power outage so I ate my standard salad in the fitness center lobby with my feet propped up. Glorious break.

There’s a nearby home with both a for sale sign and a garage sale sign out front. I’ve often wondered what the inside looks like. Bonus points for the continual police presence. Finally got my chance to poke around indoors – beautiful high ceilings, missing carpet, and a borderline hoarding issue. Hopefully someone rich will renovate it with an open-to-the-public invite. Nosy.

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I ask you –

How long have you ever been without power? 23 days. Yes. Really.

Any guesses on Parts’ math test grade? Hint: it wasn’t pretty.

Name something you pretend to like!

(The post Pretending first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

25 Hours

Full disclosure: I read a post from another blogger who chronicled what she would talk about if she was the recent New Jersey senator who filibustered for 25 hrs.

As explained, there’s rules during a filibuster: “you can’t leave your desk area, you have to keep speaking for the entire time (unless you yield the floor to others to ask questions), you can’t go to the bathroom, you have to remain standing, and the only liquids allowed on the floor are tap water, sparkling water, and milk.”

Here’s my take if ever presented the opportunity to filibuster for a lengthy amount of time (because it’s so possible in my line of work) –

1. Read my entire 470+ page dissertation, complete with a detailed explanation of every graph, chart, and figure.

2. Demonstrate every known Pilates and yoga exercise.

3. Enunciate every word ending in -th in the KJV Bible.

4. Recount, then promptly forget, every historical sexual partner. This is hilarious, Kel.

And now I’m just writing random crap on here to see who actually reads these posts because I know it will garner some comments. On that note, I’m done.

_______________________

I ask you –

Were you aware of the 25 hour filibuster?

What would you share, if it was you on the senate floor?

…I’d like to request coffee be added to the list of available beverages…

(The post 25 Hours first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What to do now

In my unlimited extra time post-PhD, I’ve included a near daily yoga session into my morning routine. I feel amazing and I’ve almost mastered feet to knees.

Then there’s volleyball up to 3x a week. Sure, we haven’t won a single game but the fun levels of this team I am grateful to coach is unmatched. Off the charts…but not our scores.

I planned a skating party for my 9 year old. She was an infant yesterday. I don’t understand how this is happening. Spare Parts will be a grandma at the end of the summer while I have a 9 yr old. Still makes me laugh.

I’ve been researching adjunct professor positions; there’s a few leads. For now, I’m working through the process of publishing my dissertation to the university and public databases. I’ve also looked into some think tank-type work to impact immigration legislation. Policymaker stuff is my forte.

The comfy corner came together nicely. Mini reads her books there at night while I hoard the space in the early morning hours. My wake up time has only shifted by 30-60 mins yet somehow those precious minutes make all the difference in my rest levels. Most days, I’m a new person!

As time passes, I’m sure it will fill with other responsibilities, requirements, or space takers. No need to hurry.

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I ask you –

After completing something which took a large portion of your time, how did you fill the space?

When did you last plan a birthday party?

Share your wakeup time! 0500

(The post What to do now first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)