Rants & Raves, RoF Edition

There’s a time to rant and there’s a time to praise. Unfortunately, now is not the latter. It could be, but it’s not.

Group text from school system with individual phone numbers listed: blah blah blah, your child’s order is in; report to this place between these hours

Random number: What do we do if we didn’t receive our entire order?

Me: I’ll tell you what you don’t do! Don’t reply all to this message because it’s probably a) unattended and b) unlikely to help your situation. But it will make the remainder of us who didn’t ask to be a part of this group text really angry.

If you intend to homeschool your children, then please do so. Emphasis on the school part. When your teenager can’t tie their shoes, your schooling ideas are failing. Choosing to homeschool your children makes you directly responsible for their education. You have forgone the right to blame public education for your mistakes. Shoes and all. Home schooling is not an excuse to not send your children to school. It’s a conscious choice to take sole responsibility in creating valued members of society. Not for the faint of heart, I’m sure. I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. Note: wanted…past tense.

And if this isn’t enough to make you laugh, then you’re beyond help. Mini, along with her classmates, was instructed to bring bite-sized pieces of things to the class’s Thanksgiving feast. Parents were told to choose 3-4 items, then you would be told which of your choices to bring to school. Some followed the instructions, others not so much. When I positively told mini what she (I) had been assigned, her disdain and palpable disbelief was comical only to me. Days later, she still sounds upset whilst I giggle.

Celery. Mini had to bring celery. Apparently it’s the most hated food ever. My thought was some child will be overjoyed to see celery because it’s their favorite food! Alas, nothing could be worse than being the child chosen to bring… celery.

Final update: as I suspected, there was ONE child who proclaimed their love of celery.

Mommy: 1. Life: 8,374,150.

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I ask you –

How much do you ensure not to reply all when it’s not warranted?

Were you homeschooled? How did it work out for you?

Name your most despised food! Sauerkraut, for one.

And so it begins!

As I am in charge of feeding the Thanksgiving masses, I think I would rather run a Turkey Trot, eat some canned cranberry sauce, then take a nap! Seriously, I love me some canned Ocean Spray. And really I don’t have a huge role in the lunch festivities; mainly because I’m a better baker than baster. HaHA, see what I did there?!

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday. It signifies child-like awe at mounds of mashed potatoes and huge, fluffy, buttery rolls. Somehow things taste better at Thanksgiving.

Have I ever shared about the Thanksgiving my dad and uncles thought it hilarious to serve a giant hog as the starring dish? Complete with cherries in the eye sockets and a huge apple in its ugly mouth, it was quite the sight to behold. Clearly we are country people with very little class. I believe the photo exists to this day somewhere in a pile of long-forgotten photos. My apologies to anyone who reads this with a growing sense of appall. I, too, am appalled I even shared this memory. Nonetheless, it’s been 25 years since my dad passed. He was quite pleased with his hog-hunting and stuffing abilities.

Now that I’ve seen one house with its Christmas lights up (and on), let’s begin this season, as well. I guess. I promise I’m not a Scrooge…but I’d rather enjoy one holiday before catapulting into another. Hallmark must be so confused. Really the only mistake I made was sharing my Christmas-light sighting with the other two occupants of my home who promptly began dragging out bins and totes of baubles, bells, and bows. And the 6 Christmas trees I own. Different story.

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I ask you –

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

How soon is too soon for Christmas decorations?

Please feel free to appall me with a wild story!

When You Get Excited to Run!

I knew it! Check out this article here!

There you have it, folks! Notwithstanding it was written in a trail runner magazine, doubles really are beneficial! Now…I have to forewarn. Doubles in the article and doubles I was originally thinking of are not the same. According to the writer, doubles are what you do when you run twice in one day (separated by a few hours, of course). According to me, doubles are when you run same pace/same distance multiple days in a row when planning to run back-to-back half marathon or marathon distances. Details. Ehhh.

I’ve not yet registered for the BMW Dallas Half Marathon on 12 December. I’m procrastinating because that’s what I typically do when I want to pay last minute fees and freak out about the cost. What can I say? I’m a smart person in an idiot’s body. Maybe I have that backwards? Anyway, I’m how many weeks deep into training and still haven’t registered. There’s just so much commitment when you take that final step! Alas, I am excited to race again; my goal is within reach and my fancy Garmin says the confidence I can reach my goal is very high. Even if it does occasionally say my training is unproductive. I still don’t get that part. Unproductive is doing nothing, like literally staring at my watch whilst daydreaming about running. That’s unproductive. If I’m outside running – or even inside running – I’m being productive! You’re not the boss of me! Which reminds me…I really need to find out if my running buddy is traveling to TX.

Update: Morgan from Oregon is traveling to Texas. Whoohoo!!!

Have I mentioned my tendency toward meditation lately? I finally downloaded an app – Smiling Mind – because it felt like I was more frustrated with trying to learn how to meditate than actually meditating. The app has helped a lot. It even includes meditation practice for children and families. Mini and I have done a few together; personally I like her lessons better than mine. Smiling Starfish. Look it up! I was able to use what I had learned during a long run recently – what a difference! I felt like I was in the right headspace, I was light on my feet, and the miles melted away. Nothing prompted my lean towards meditation except for a friend mentioning she was trying to embrace it and I wanted to be supportive. On my own wasn’t working, so here we are!

Back to doubles – I’d like to complete the Texas Triple, but it just seems too risky to try to race in May. The final weekend in May. A holiday weekend in May. In the summer. Do I trust my body and train and hope for the best? Or do I err on the side of caution remembering what heat illness feels like and cut my losses? Running doesn’t matter to anyone but me, yet I still want to be smart about it. There’s time.

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I ask you –

Thoughts on doubles, double runs or double races?

Have you tried meditation? What app, if so?

Stay tuned for an upcoming list of future race options! Share yours with me!

Day in Photos, pt 75

This is more like a week in photos. Work with me.

My cherry tomato plant is still thriving, even into November! Perhaps bucket planting is the way to go next year.

Tooth fairy time, round 2. In an unexpected turn of events, she let it be pulled out by her Papa. Shocking. I was no part of any of these festivities. Teeth – when they’re not in a mouth – gross me out. $2 later, we have a winner.

There was also a week of drug-free activities, aka Red Ribbon Week. I’m still a little confused by this and I believe many memes already exist but I’m going to say it anyway…no one (I repeat, no one) has ever offered me drugs. I was offered cigarettes a lot, but not like real, illegal drugs. Maybe cocaine was too rich then. Anyway, just say no.

I digress. One of the week’s dress up days consisted of pajama day! My workplace really needs to get it together. Since I got to take my mini to school that day, we stopped for coffee first. Because no pajama day is complete without a huge coffee.

Edit: I heard, errr read, about National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo, a nonprofit that challenges writers to complete 50,000 words in the month of November (roughly 1667 words daily). So it’s like a running streak, but writing instead. If you’re reading this, then you may/may not know today is November 1st. The organization encourages writers to participate in the daily goal in order to complete a novel, but many use it to brainstorm blog posts, etc. Always up for a good writing task. Let’s see how this goes!

Thank you to https://brianlageose.blog/2021/10/30/friday-night-clam-bake-35-its-almost-the-time-of-year-when-i-do-that-questionable-thing-that-confuses-most-people/ for the idea!

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I ask you –

Are any of your vegetables still alive?

What’s the going rate for a tooth nowadays? I think I’m getting scammed.

Tell me something funny about your week!

Saving the Post Office / Why not?

…one child at a time. Occasionally, ideas for posts arrive in the most unexpected ways. Hahah posts, get it, get it. Well, you’re about to!

First, read this article. This is how it started: I found the below on Instagram and sent it to the one person in my life whom I knew 1000% wouldn’t report me to the authorities (or NSA) for thinking this concept is hilarious.

Credit: @sammichespsychmeds via Instagram

In true best friend fashion, Jason encouraged my wonky sense of humor by recalling where sending your child via postal service was actually a real thing. Of course it was!

Relatedly, I shipped a hoodie from TX to TN and it cost $15 which is only about $10 more than the hoodie cost. Hello, post office people. It really is a barrier to shipping anything with costs like that, but I continue to support them. Alas, I would never attempt to ship my precious mini anywhere; however, with the rising cost of airplane tickets I may consider it more than usual. Usually I never consider it.

Now I just want to make stork jokes. Stop it Kel. Too many times I’ve shared here my love for mailing cards, letters, etc. It’s my thing! Even on the radio one morning, the hosts were debating reasons why you shouldn’t mail thank you cards. They reasoned it’s an outdated medium and much easier to send a text or a video to say thank you. I don’t know about you, but I actually still have some family members without texting/videoing capabilities. She’s 93, I believe she can make her own rules. Would it be easier to send her videos? Absolutely! But do I get angry, unhappy, or put out by stamping a letter? No. I imagine the joy she feels from receiving a card is the same joy I receive when opening a card. Channel that joy and send someone a card today!

Standby for the cost of mailing a 55 lb package. It’s only coincidence that’s how much mini weighs.

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I ask you –

On a scale of always to never, how often do you use the postal service?

Did you know there was a time children were mailed?

Share your best ‘I wish I could’ve mailed someone’ story!

Things: Likes/Don’t Likes

-the food edition–

Corn. I like corn. Especially the sweet, buttery, salty corn I remember growing in my parent’s garden. But not corn on the cob. I’m that girl who cuts it off the cob. I don’t know why.

Anyone else eat pea salad? Only my mother and sister. And me! Not mini. She’ll eat plain sweet peas, but once you add additional ingredients, she abandons ship. More for me! I like to experiment with pea salad. In the photo below, I subbed pico for the traditional onion only. It was superb, in my opinion. And since I’m the only one eating it, here we are.

Keto is as restrictive as you make it. So when I’m on that proverbial wagon, I don’t eat much fruit. But I love fruit!! This is why…training season can be so much fun. I eat all the fruit I want. Besides kiwi, there’s not a fruit I don’t like. Some I don’t necessarily love – that’s ok, too. Peaches, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, bring it! In fact, I recently bought so many peaches I had to slice and freeze them because they would have rotted before I ate them all. Since I’m on a smoothie kick, I thought it was a great idea aka cost effective to buy several pounds worth of peaches. In my defense, several pounds of peaches really isn’t that many whole peaches. And I saved money. Take that.

Recently I tried cheese curds. Ugh. The word “curds” grosses me out. Which is probably why I’d never tried them. I remember living in Pensacola with my Navy friends and some would order cheese curds at Buffalo Wild Wings. They’d rave about how great they were; I would refuse to try them.

Fast forward a lot of years later and they were on the menu at a local restaurant near me. HOLY CRAP! Why didn’t I try these before?! They were amazing! It was like cheese wrapped in funnel cake batter. Heavenly! I’m a cheese curd convert.

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I ask you –

What’s a family food you grew up with? Was it yay or nay?

How much fruit do you eat daily?

Name fruit you do/don’t like. I forgot about pomegranates. I don’t like those at all.

Weirdo and Other Words I’m Proud to be Called

I’m what some may consider a clockaholic. News to me. Wish I could quantify the facial expressions of people around me when I stated I like to remove the batteries from the clocks and set the time permanently to a meaningful number in my life, like my Dad’s birthday.

It’s not a struggle (yet) but it definitely doesn’t come easy – properly fueling before, during, and after training. I know I have to eat to be strong in order to accomplish my goals. Mainly the 2:10 goal. It would “just” be an 8 minute PR, but 8 minutes over the course of 13 miles does not leave a lot of room for error. But pre-run fuel is not my happy place. As I type this, I’m eating toast. Solid, simple choice. But I’m laughing (ruefully) because I ran nearly 5 miles recently on nothing but a scoop of peach jelly. You’re an idiot, Kel. That’s not proper fuel! I’m trying to do better.

The following is a sentence I never imagined I’d say. Certainly not at work. “Why are there ants in the toilet?” And apparently the high bun I wear when a) I workout, b) I don’t feel like washing my hair, and c) I’m trying to get sh*t done – so basically all the time – is what mini refers to as “Mama’s pineapple hair”.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

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I ask you –

Have you ever used a weird name to describe yourself?

What’s your favorite weird phrase?

Give me your fuel suggestions!

For Real?

Like… really? Title in progress.

I love blogging. Really, I do. And I love reading other blogs. Yeppers! But the ones who spend 6 paragraphs detailing the “best holiday desserts” and have the outright gall – that’s French for cajones – to include a recipe for Poached Pears is out of their mind. WHO eats poached pears? Nevermind…what is a poached pear? And for the holidays? No!

Fall is finally upon us. Admittedly I cried when I woke up the first day, remembered it was a Wednesday, and realized I don’t run on Wednesdays. Not all Wednesdays, just currently. I should have changed my training schedule, but I had a doctor’s appointment that day. At least it seems the 50s are here to stay through the overnight hours.

Speaking of doctors, the nurse quietly asked me if I was still breastfeeding. Mind you, we’d already discussed I had a 5 yr old. Way to go! – to the women still nursing five years later. However, I’m not one of them. Are you for real? – to the timid nurse at the VA. Glad she took my blood pressure before the interrogation.

My how time flies when you’re getting old and don’t remember when you graduated.

The last time I saw this stage was 2011 when I graduated from Wayland Baptist University with a Master’s degree. P.S. my phone changed “graduated” to some weird combination of those letters that made no sense and I considered leaving it like that.

For real? Yes, it sounds about right.

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I ask you –

Is the phrase ‘for real’ too casual for professional conversation?

How often a day do you use this phrase?

Tell me your best ARE YOU FOR REAL? story!

Humor Knows No Bounds + Tetris Master?

The adventures in Bonnywood Manor are some of my favorites to read. Brian’s humor is the best!

In keeping with more office-themed things, here’s a few nuggets: my title should be changed to calendar girl. But not the sexy, mildly inappropriate calendar girl you may have immediately been considering. More like I play Tetris with calendars and am on standby for changes at a moment’s notice. In fact, a wonderful co-worker called me with these words – “Let’s play a game!” – which really wasn’t a fun game at all because it involved moving around days’ worth of events to accommodate some last minute silliness. Good thing I love her.

She said “Can I take my own picture?”

Also, as the reigning queen of dad jokes, it’s my sworn duty to entertain strangers with punny, simple jokes. To my own delight, of course. I feel like our security team draws straws on who has to deal with me when my car rounds the bend. I’m on the “do not engage” list. Occasionally they laugh with me (at me?) and I congratulate myself on a job well done. I’ll be here all week, folks!

Hallelujah for the return of football

Lastly, soon they’ll be requiring IQ tests in my workplace. Hahah, I wish. Short of missing a few crayons, inability to decipher which floor we’re on, and following basic computer instructions, I think it’s going well! It’s just a three ring circus without a grandmaster.

Clap, clap. Ohhhhhhh, cabana boyyyyy!!!

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I ask you –

Want to join my circus?

Are you the problem child of your organization? Be honest!!

Please check out fellow blogger, Brian Lageose. He’s hilarious!

What Matters Most / Prioritizing

Making Priorities

Faith/Family

Forgiveness. Redemption. Grace. Kindness. Among many others, these are words that mean much to me. Being responsible for a family unit is quite a burden to bear which is why I believe the next few points are incredibly important. Responsibility weighs heavily on the shoulders of those who choose to accept the load. (and sometimes there’s no choice)

It has been said that ‘the two greatest days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why’. God created you with a purpose in mind (2 Corinthians 5:5). Indeed there are big plans for me.

Sleep

My body has an internal alarm clock prompting me to go to bed at 8:30pm. Every. Single. Night. Like my dad, I’ve always been a morning person. It has served me well! 9 hours is my optimal, pre-programmed amount of sleep necessary for a fully functioning day. I’m a light sleeper and have little trouble falling asleep, but find difficulty in staying asleep.

This may sound like I put way too much priority on knowing about my own sleep patterns. However, recognizing the importance of sleep and how it affects your body is something I think many take for granted. Sleep – or lack thereof – is attributed to weight, outlook on life, stress, and disease. When we sleep, our bodies recuperate from innumerable daily encounters with germs, people, and events, as well as prepare us for days ahead. Personally I think consistent sleep schedules are one of the most important ways to set up children for success.

Running

As I’ve probably mentioned before, streaking is such a confidence booster. Even when it’s only 1 mile a day, the proof is tangible. Typically I notice a difference 2 weeks into it – I’m lighter on my feet, stamina is high, and the urge to keep running is overwhelming. Although I despise treadmill running, the routine (aka priority) of running at lunch (aka runch) is much needed. My lunch hour at work is nearly sacred. Soon enough, you can find me back on the roads near the office happily making the rounds.

It’s important mini sees me doing what I love. Running helps in many ways: decreases anxiety, increases the feel-good hormones, and recharges my people’ing batteries. We all need an outlet, if you will. Mine is found inside a pair of running shoes.

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I ask you –

How many hours of sleep do you average nightly?

What is your outlet?

Share a priority I may have missed here!