We could beat people when they’re down, but it doesn’t make us leaders, it makes us tyrants. Recently, a leader in my organization approached me without fanfare, without ulterior motive, to share a situation encountered unbeknownst to me. He was concerned, he expressed empathy. And although I knew of the logistics of the situation, I hadn’t known the full picture. He offered grace rather than condemnation. He offered care as opposed to vindication or punishment. That’s a leader.
It has arrived!
Although the photo is not inherently leadership related, and neither is the following story, it will get me there. Standby.
The past few weekends have been packed with conferences. One I spoke at, the other I did not. However, each brought together hundreds of people looking for connection and community, and offered an opportunity to share stories. One may never know what another is dealing with until their story is shared. There were several what not to do’s, also.
I have probably never shared on this platform the struggle with my name, but I find others with similar issues when I share. Even mini has expressed an issue with her own name and its similarities to a popular name which causes people to mispronounce it. She despises this. All this to say, we each have struggles. In an effort to overcome these struggles and become great leaders, we must listen first and act second.
_________________
I ask you –
How often do organizational leaders jump to conclusions?
Care to share a story of your own?
Tell me your best advice.
(The post Order of Leaders first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
You can read the full dissertation here: Immigration Federalism in the United States: Texas Case Studies. The next step is distributing the publication to the cities who participated in order to a) make good on my promise to share and b) hopefully produce valued change. Although only one of those is within my power, I’ll soon be applying for adjunct professor positions in hopes to share my knowledge of the policies and systems in place within local Texas communities. To say I’m humbled is still an understatement. Some days I am in disbelief my PhD journey has ended. While I continue to cheer on my friends who are deep in the throes of their own doctoral journey, I want to forever remain a valuable contributor to higher education.
The bound work arrived in the mail – all 6+ lbs of it. 6 POUNDS! It looks like it belongs in the Library of Congress, so said my spouse. If all else fails, I’ve created a massive paperweight.
This is also mini’s first year taking the standardized tests of all public schools. Right, wrong, or indifferent, I believe testing has a purpose yet after the anxiety-ridden day I experienced for her first of two tests, I’m beginning to believe and finally fully understand testing is even more difficult for the parents! At the time of this posting, she will have finished both tests and is officially free and clear to enjoy the final weeks of her school year. Then, we can do it again next year! When mini asked how many tests she’ll take in her life, I stated she would be continually tested…and tested. Tis the circle of life.
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I ask you –
Do you experience test anxiety or discomfort?
What advice would you give a young student?
Tell me your most difficult test.
(The post Authorship first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
In my unlimited extra time post-PhD, I’ve included a near daily yoga session into my morning routine. I feel amazing and I’ve almost mastered feet to knees.
Then there’s volleyball up to 3x a week. Sure, we haven’t won a single game but the fun levels of this team I am grateful to coach is unmatched. Off the charts…but not our scores.
I planned a skating party for my 9 year old. She was an infant yesterday. I don’t understand how this is happening. Spare Parts will be a grandma at the end of the summer while I have a 9 yr old. Still makes me laugh.
I’ve been researching adjunct professor positions; there’s a few leads. For now, I’m working through the process of publishing my dissertation to the university and public databases. I’ve also looked into some think tank-type work to impact immigration legislation. Policymaker stuff is my forte.
The comfy corner came together nicely. Mini reads her books there at night while I hoard the space in the early morning hours. My wake up time has only shifted by 30-60 mins yet somehow those precious minutes make all the difference in my rest levels. Most days, I’m a new person!
As time passes, I’m sure it will fill with other responsibilities, requirements, or space takers. No need to hurry.
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I ask you –
After completing something which took a large portion of your time, how did you fill the space?
When did you last plan a birthday party?
Share your wakeup time! 0500
(The post What to do now first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Undoubtedly, the song I chose (it chose me) from the beginning of the PhD process to its culmination might be inappropriate. Like the time I thought the song Unholy just had a good beat.
Side note. Lyrics are important, Kel.
I’ve listened to the song at least once a week for 3 years. When I felt stuck in the suck of monotony, of writing another 30, 40, 50 page paper on a subject I wasn’t 100% in love with, my anthem came in handy.
Prove 'em wrong every time 'til it's normal Why worship legends when you know that you can join 'em?
When I joined the Navy, I was told only 1% of the population has served in the armed forces. I’m proud to be part of the 1%.
Then, when I obtained a PhD, again I was told only 1% of the population have a doctoral degree. Despite questioning the accuracy of the numbers, my question now is how many present or prior servicemembers have a PhD? Food for thought. I’m only a legend in my own mind.
Never listened to replies, learned a lesson from the wise
From the start, I knew I wanted something special to commemorate this event in my life, a visualization of what this process took from me and, alternately, gave me. A token, if you will.
I kept the images to myself for over 2 years, afraid to admit I might be able to achieve a moment in time where it would be reality. Only last summer did I show anyone the photos, and only in a moment of excitement where it seemed I was embarking on steps I could never not finish. And only when I had returned from the border did I consider maybe I should actually consult with a jeweler soon because this process is getting real. Little did I know I would be finished in less than 6 weeks.
An incredible woman, Landri, somehow took my vision for a unique class ring and magnified it by a million. Her eye for beautiful things, her love for jewelry, and somehow her knowledge to ensure perfection is evident in the piece she lovingly crafted. Sure, it’s designed by me, but she turned a vision into a piece of art.
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin' Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
The 6 tiny black gemstones (black spinel) represent academia, specifically higher education. Black is regal, it is effort, it is foundational. The 6 tiny blue gemstones (blue sapphire) represent water, ocean, and sky. I was fortunate to have the ability to use my GI Bill for the cost of this degree. My time in the Navy, in the ocean, with its perfect open water views is what I choose to remember of my time there. When I close my eyes, I can’t unsee the sun rising and setting across the ocean. The blue gemstones are homage to a tumultuous yet rewarding experience. Finally, the blue sapphire represents wisdom. From knowing when to start and stop, I don’t believe this path in my life was by mistake. I do believe there’s an element of divinity in everyone’s life. The sapphire is brilliant yet unassuming, beautiful yet not boastful.
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far I'm star walkin'
There were 3 of us. Three very different individuals who came together somewhere along this journey, who banded together to offer words of encouragement, venting, and overall support for something none of us had previously accomplished. I always felt like the hype man, the one who would definitely make it across the finish line, but unapposed to taking the final steps at the rear of the group. Life is funny. I wanted to watch them succeed from my vantage point in the back so I knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Somewhere, my self-designated position got mixed up and I ended up at the front, leading, doing what I do. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it now – it’s lonely at the top. Not alone, but lonely. Fortunately, my role as the cheerleader for our band of perfectionists is still intact. And I’m overjoyed to support them in the final stages of accomplishment.
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I ask you –
Feel free to share your thoughts here. No questions today.
Throughout my nearly 40 years, (ahem, 39) I’ve had opportunity to explore Texas. From the piney woods of East Texas to the coastal regions of South Texas through the flat lands, prairies, and rolling hills of West Texas (because, yes, somehow all of those exist here), I’m in awe.
Some would say Texas is a huge state that takes 427 days to cross. Some would say Texas is flat, brown, and dead. Some would say Texas is nothing compared to places overseas or even other U.S. states. To this I say – you’re mistaken.
There’s beauty in those rolling hills, where cell service and satellite radio all but disappear. There’s inspiration in the far-flung homes and ranches that provide services and goods to the residents of our nation, and beyond. What you see as brown and dead, I see hard work, generations of people doing what I have no desire to do in working their land and tending livestock, people with families and livelihoods. There’s nothing ugly there.
Have you seen the Rio Grande, water rushing along crevices formed millions of years ago? Have you seen cliffs, running parallel to major highways? Have you looked out over the edge of those roadways and marveled at what was below? Have you experienced a spring of bluebonnets and jonquils? Have you met the people in those small, forgotten towns, the ones who welcome you as family? Have you explored a proper downtown?
What about the incredible food? From pie shops to tacos, Texas’ food scene is unrivaled.
In honor of today’s dissertation defense (which you can find out if I was successful at by following me on Instagram or Facebook), this post is homage to the incredible people and places it took me to and through. Some communities I will most likely never visit again because I have no reason to do so; however, some will forever be in my heart due to the breathtaking stories shared by their inhabitants.
We are not numbers. We are not just constituents. We are human beings. And we all deserve to have our story told with respect, honesty, and genuine love. For the people I met, the people I couldn’t get to, and the immigrants who my work affects, thank you. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.
(The post Waxing Poetic first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
To think a few years ago the most difficult part of my weekend (and week days) was figuring out when to do a long run. To think carving up to 2 hrs from my day was nearly impossible. Ha. Now, I know I can do anything.
appletree
Once I received the running green light on Wednesday (happy birthday, Kel), I ran my fastest mile since Nov (13:10!!) and played volleyball. Although this coaching gig is fun, I’d much rather play.
Spring break was quite the whirlwind of a week. From high emotions to adventure parks to a major wind storm and a furlough avoidance, March is shaping up to be one for the books. Speaking of books, I still haven’t read this month’s book club recommendation.
I originally wrote this post in early 2024 so I thought it fitting I publish it today, one week prior to the scheduled dissertation defense which has consumed my life for a long time.
PMS sucks. I find myself with a lowered patience threshold than usual. Just the little things. However, I often have some really creative ideas during this time. Like this – a reading corner! The plan is to restructure my writing desk and general PhD-making setup into a reading nook upon graduation. I’m not certain what the original thought was for this alcove of a room attached to the formal bedroom. It developed, for me, into a bookcase/writing desk/storage square. Obviously, at this time, it’s where student magic happens.
Sidenote: I do understand how some people can only write or work in their “designated space(s)”. It is a mental act to have all the right conditions when it comes to concentration. One would think I have trouble with being so close to the bedroom, literally within eyesight. However, I believe it was very strategic on my part because mini can wake up and SEE me working; therefore, I’m preventing a mad dash down the hallway and/or her getting up at the crack of dawn when I’m busy. So far, year 3, this is working.
Image credit: Amazon
Anyway, a reading corner complete with oversized comfy chair, foot rest, end tables, and probably a fake plant. Because…death.
Often it feels like this stage of my life is never-ending and I will literally be writing forever. However, I know it’s untrue. I think. Maybe? So planning small rewards – or refocuses, if you will – breaks up the monotony. Like when I forget to check what day my interlibrary loan book is due. Or when I forget mini’s age because I’ve just regurgitated from memory every family member’s phone number, email, blood type, address…you get the point. Forgive me when I can’t do it all! Mini has not let me forget this yet.
My point is I need a place to read and gather my thoughts before the day attempts to steal every remaining functioning brain cell. Can you blame me?
_________________
I ask you –
What would your comfy corner include?
How much time does it take to get your thoughts together?
Fake plant vs real plant. Your preference?
(The post Comfy Corner first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
It’s been a whirlwind since I posted last Wednesday.
First, my dissertation defense is scheduled for 19 March. The date is about 45 days sooner than expected. I need to get busy finding a top hat. It’s actually happening.
Next, I couldn’t find this candy anywhere. Originally, I purchased it at TJ Maxx or equivalent store…Ross, etc. The label was dark so I don’t really know. I looked everywhere. Then, I found it at Target. Online. If you want to order said candy, you must purchase at least $35 of merchandise. So instead of spending $35 on candy + other items, I spent nearly $60 on all candy made by this brand. Good purchase? I don’t know but now I have a lot of candy!
Then, this happened. Gummies. I’m uncertain how many years it’s been since I deleted the game (nearly 3?). I know it’s a waste of time but I gave myself stipulations for playing. For example, if I want to play during the day, then I must be walking. So now I take a few extra walks. For exercise purposes, of course.
Short story: my knee is getting better. Much less pain, less frequently. I did “accidentally” test out my running inability when a staff member at work exploded into my office, saying “Kelly, there’s smoke up front. And water!” No time for questions. As I sprinted to the front desk, my knee reminded me it’s not ready for running. I sort of jump-hopped the remainder of the way. Spoiler: hot water was pouring out the front door from a heat pump thingy. It was below freezing for several days so this is common. Anyway, we cleaned up gallons of steaming water and I rested my knee.
Tis me. Credit: via IG
As I had already exhausted the traditional number of physical therapy appointments – turns out that number is 5 – then I was scheduled for some additional appointments and a referral to an orthopedic surgeon/practitioner. something about a different type of brace
On day 21, I submitted the final draft of my manuscript to the PhD gods who will hopefully provide feedback in the next 30 days, granting me just enough time to make the updates and resubmit to defend prior to 9 May. To pass the time, I’m making plans to convert my writing desk into a reading nook, determine how many activities I can plan during the summer, and actually reclaiming some time to get outside. Mark my words, I’ll be stir crazy in less than 32 hours. More coffee, please.
__________________
I ask you –
Any elliptical advice?
What’s the weather been like for you?
Tell me what silly word describes you best.
(The post Whirlwind first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
By the time you read this, I will be bleary-eyed, rocking back and forth, with unwashed hair sticking out every which way.
Or, as I like to call it, almost finished with the final chapter of this manuscript. Remember that calculation from last week? Well, it doubled in about 48 hrs when I realized I slightly miscalculated the final date of the semester. By about 3 weeks. Aka the approval deadline moved closer to today’s date than originally planned.
Update: at 468 pages and nearly 115,000 words, I think I’m done. Now I need to make a carpal tunnel appointment. Parts said she would help me.
courtesy of Hobby Lobby and zero self control
So glad they sent me that email so I could panic properly.
This is fun.
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I ask you –
Have you ever misjudged a timeline?
Do you prefer emails or texts?
Share your best coping mechanisms. My coffee pot probably wants to go on strike.
Running on Fumes 
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