I cannot believe this is the final post of 2025. Absolutely insane. I’m reminded of this time last year, when I knew I would soon begin the research data portion of my PhD, both excited and terrified. What a ride. 2025 was amazing.
The word of the year was anew. Truly I encountered several new experiences and I feel I emerged anew. 2026’s word of the year is arise. Arise to age 40, arise to whatever calling I’m compelled to try, arise mentally and physically. Arise.
Rack & Stack
# of miles run – 321.1 (not bad considering I was injured Jan-early Mar)
# of average miles run – 6.21/week (post-recovery miles, too)
# of hours spent working out – 7 hrs, 48 mins/month (proud of this one!)
# of tries to complete a PhD – 1 (one and only 1!)
# of mental health appointments – 17 (some months were tough and required extra attention)
# of hours spent playing volleyball – 24 hrs, 35 mins (is this excessive?)
# of Team of the Quarter awards – 2 (that’s 50%!)
Final Thoughts
I make light of most situations, but 2025 was difficult. I’m incredibly blessed to be called Dr. However, it wasn’t an easy win. I was honored to be part of leading a winning team. Yet I struggled with my own feelings surrounding what I mistakenly thought was not good enough. I’ve learned some new tricks and I’ve tried to dismiss the outdated ones. All in all, twas a great year because I can say it is over and because a new one has arrived.
As have I. Arise.
_____________________
I ask you –
What is your word of the new year? Or resolution if you enjoy this?
(The post 2025 in Numbersfirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
I saw a meme which said something to the extent of “if you put together all the receipts in your purse, you’ll have a book about why you’re broke”. As funny as this is, I made up my own: if you put together all the short runs, long runs, walks, and workouts, you’ll have a little book about why you’re in shape, feel better, are able to run after your children, can stand up without pain, and (fill in the blank).
Personally, I like my version better.
Do you think the programmers at Gummy Drop use AI to study patterns of play or how often a user swipes left versus right? Missed opportunity if they don’t.
Gummy Drop aka Gummies
Did you know there are dog behaviorists? It’s a thing. I saw one on a commercial whilst watching the Dog Show after the Thanksgiving Day Parade. At least, that’s what her title was. Maybe it was made up.
Speaking of AI and behaviorists because I know you’re in awe I somehow put these two random topics together – the news media stated police department policies are being implemented to prevent officers from using AI to write their reports, specifically in immigrant-related fields. It begs the question (from me anyway) why does this have to be stated? Oh I know. Because AI is artificial. Says so in the name. Tis not real. Tis fake. Well, not “fake” but definitely an interpretation of artificial. Basically, fake.
Several takeaways from this piece of news.
1. I understand the concept of work smarter, not harder. And I’d like to believe a well-meaning, overworked, underpaid officer(s) of the law justified the use of AI with the aforementioned attributes. However, how does one justify not knowing or understanding AI is an abstract medium which combines the entirety of the world’s thoughts with artificial interpretation? This means…it is fallable, it is inaccurate, it is just an interpretation subjected to human norms. Which means…it must be checked for accuracy. Period. It is not “fire and forget”. It is not “one and done”. In my opinion, it is more work to use chatGPT and similar programs because I must crosscheck it for meaning, much of which was not my intention.
2. The reliance on AI and the programs mentioned previously is widely concerning. Just me? Students have felt the negative effects of succumbing to AI-written papers. One does not achieve a phD using chatGPT. Trust me. All 6,000 pages (to include drafts, crap I had to remove, and sources) were from the corners of my mind, not a robotic rendition of what I thought I was typing. And if you think people cannot tell the difference between what you wrote and what AI wrote, you are mistaken. I see it a mile away – words not normally used in conversation, sentences much too perfect, similar words or phrases used excessively, and a general lack of positional stance, i.e., remaining too neutral. This is why I refuse to use it to write awards packages. It’s not me. Because it is not.
3. Let’s go back to immigration. Because I’m a scholar in this field and I believe it lends me integrity. What judge, lawyer, or human impacted by immigration wants to read a report entirely generated by AI? I don’t see any raised hands. We want the humanistic approach, the real officer who was on the ground, who encountered another human, child, or family. We want passion and beliefs. It does not matter the fallacy of an experience. It matters because people make decisions based on the entirety of it. AI cannot (at the time of this writing) imitate human experience, the very experience which made us human. Blows my mind.
4. I was not intending to include this but here we are. Working smarter as opposed to harder is misleading. Although I adore the catchy phrase, and am guilty of using it, I believe it encourages shortcuts never intended to become norms. Working hard is not a problem to be fixed. Dare I say we have gotten so far away from working hard that we now rely on something else to think for us. Haha tied it back in. Rather than thinking for ourselves or challenging our brains to come up with an accurate depiction of what we saw, lived, or shared, the reliance on artificial intelligence has made us dumb(er). So much for smarter.
And this concludes today’s very long-winded post. A notable takeaway: I wrote every word myself. From the very dark confines of my own mind. Aren’t you so glad you stuck around for it all? Also, I must have watched a lot of TV.
_____________________
I ask you –
Share you thoughts on AI.
(The post Quality Datafirst appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
I had an entire thought for this post, something along the lines of a refrigerator or a shelf, but now it’s disappeared like my desire to work a non-paying job. Yet I’m still doing it. So I guess this point is moot.
Mini participated in all the themed days of drug free week. I’ve probably said this before but I thought for sure I would have been offered a lot more drugs in life. Where was my chance to “just say no”? Can I try it now? Eluding to my a) current position, b) addictive genetics, and c) will to live despite present circumstances, I’ll probably continue to say no. If asked.
Photo credit: #musemom
And, of course, there was Halloween. I make far too many jokes about full-sized candy bars for someone who doesn’t eat candy. I wish I liked candy. It sounds delicious. Although I am partial to Reese’s Pieces.
Tiny spiders
My costume was minimal…stamped black spiders on the sides of my face and hand. I believe it represented how many souls I’ve stolen. Or eaten. Or whatever fun analogy exists. Muse? Oh where art thou?
Final thought: for over 90 minutes, which is probably considered less than average, we walked mini around neighborhoods to trick or treat. Halfway through the jaunt, I realized how much I missed the past 3 years while working through my PhD. It was nearly impossible to enjoy anything outside of writing because I was incredibly stressed by the need to write. I’m sad because I know I missed a lot and I cannot get it back. The fact I recognize how much I missed because I can see it now is even tougher. It was worth it, but how do you quantify worth when you missed entire Halloween shenanigans worrying about what you could be doing instead? It feels as if entire years disappeared from my memory. On the bright side, drugs didn’t do this to me.
It’s a fun word with a few fun iterations. Serendipitous. It reminds me of the word Eureka! Not the vacuum cleaner. There was a movie with a scientist who yelled Eureka when he made a concoction. What was the movie?
Funny story about serendipity. It’s something I based my PhD thesis on. I was seeking serendipity, uncertain if I would actually have a moment to uncover it, much less recognize it. Spoiler: I did. And it was just as glorious as I had hoped. And, since thousands of people are furloughed, what better way to kill time than to read it? Have fun! Immigration Federalism in the United States: Texas Case Studies
Hold on, the show is tuning in. The rich kid. Big house. Bad guys. Not the Christmas one where the kid was alone. Home Alone. Right, not that one.
Interestingly, the word serendipity originated in 1754 from a fairytale. Now, it references a scientific or technological breakthrough. I just like it because it sounds fun.
Richy Rich! That’s it.
_________________
I ask you –
Have you experienced serendipity?
(The post Serendipity! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Although I’ve already read the series below, I’m sharing them because they are really that good!
The Little Liar by Mitch Albom, a thought-provoking novel set during the Holocaust, chronicling the intertwined lives and stories of four individuals with Truth as the narrator.
The AJ Docker Series of 5 books by Gary Gerlacher. Imagine Harry Bosch meets medical nonfiction. Easy to read, intriguing, and can be read in any order. Thank me later.
Re-Post from October 30, 2023 – deep in the archives of RoF! I promise to return soon with new, unread material!
As expected, my foots need expert, aka surgical, attention. You know – for all that technology has accomplished, how come there’s only a few options for feet? I did all the others. The surgeon was quite incredulous when I requested to have surgery on both feet simultaneously. But I persevered! Eventually, he came around to my way of thinking but it took some convincing. First, he says it’s dangerous when you can’t walk under your own power. Then, he says the pain may be too much. His final attempt at dissuading me was my mental health. Something about suffering from depression when unable to run.
I counteracted his every argument by saying I will sit at home and be a good patient; I have a high pain tolerance; and it makes more sense to have both feet done to allow me to complete my coursework at one time.
Then, when I visited my muse, her advice wasn’t quite what I wanted to hear but valuable nonetheless. She said, “Kel, you’re still Wonder Woman, but it’s an unearthly expectation to do all the things just because you can.” Granted, her words stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider my decision. For a time. It’s difficult considering all the unknown variables, including being unable to play in the intramural volleyball league as originally planned. Now, I’ll just coach!
My wingwoman and I
So, all this to say my mind is pretty much made up. I may come to regret it but both feet is the way to go. Despite the circumstances and outliers, I know I can persevere. And I will.
Yet every time you make it through something that doesn’t kill you or land you in jail, there’s this overwhelming feeling of excitement and gratitude. I live for it.
___________________
I ask you –
Any big decisions on the horizon?
Could this be the dumbest decision I’ve made? It very well could be.
Re-post from March 4, 2024 – please enjoy while I’m out of office, out of my mind, out of…money whilst eating all the gelato!
â€â€Isaiah 55:11 NIV‬‬ [11] so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
The Scripture above is Jesus speaking; however, what if we spoke with this in mind, that each time words exited our lips, we fully understood our words have power to speak life, or death, over others. In a society saturated with people speaking and giving opinions, sharing with intentional life isn’t as prevalent as one would hope.
Lately, I’ve struggled with focusing on one task. I’ve been pacing, mind racing from one thought to another, unable to keep up with the flood of to-do’s. For a moment, I considered maybe this was a late life onset of ADHD. I’ve heard sometimes anxiety is mistaken as ADHD and vice versa – what if that was true for me. But I think I’m just feeling the magnitude of ending the preliminary portion of the dissertation process and considering what the next year will look like. Somehow it’s already here, what seemed impossible in 2022 is now in its final stage. It’s difficult to wrap my mind around that truth.
Focus, Kel. Trying to soak in all the things before writing takes me away from it is unfathomable. However, I did attend a game night where I managed to win at Rock/Paper/Scissors. First try, no less. Yes, I’m bragging. Funnily, when it comes to competition Rock/Paper/Scissors – I always win. No lie. Well….I’ve won 2 “competition-style” matches, if you will. The first was for a third martini flight which I absolutely should not have had, mostly because I was already 8 martinis in and definitely did not need 4 more. Consequently, I don’t remember much about that night except winning the game for another flight. Weird.
Any Way – focus, will you – I won a Starbucks gift card to fund my coffee and winning habit. Not a bad night. And, of course, my name tag says Parts. And, of course, hers said Spare Parts. Because all we do is laugh together.
I saw a funny Instagram post which basically said I didn’t realize I’d be navigating my daughter’s PMS while also battling perimenopause. I’m doomed. Although I suspect perimenopause is a recently concocted term for all the space and unknown leading to menopause, if this is it then it’s very real.
My memory has taken a nosedive downhill. We all attributed it to PhD brain, work stress, the usual. But when mini started commenting on how I couldn’t even finish a full sentence… yikes. Time to make some changes.
Insert brain vitamins! It’s still the first week, and maybe it’s a placebo effect, but I do feel more focused! Will report back.
Saturday evening I decided to pause my run plan. The past 2 weeks, Garmin has indicated my training status as “straining”. I thought it meant I was coming out of “peaking”, which I had been, but I also thought straining was positive. Ha. Wrong.
It has been struggle city. I haven’t hit any of the prescribed paces, constantly tired, not sleeping well…classic symptoms of overtraining. And perimenopause. All this to say, I’m taking a break. Literally and figuratively. I’ll be back soon.
In a recent conversation, the concept of college students studying came up. Duh, yes, I know. This particular conversation revolved around organic chemistry, or O-chem, as it’s known. As anything chemistry-related is way beyond my vocabulary, I considered what it must be like to understand the subject enough to pursue it in academia. Surely you are not an intellectual slacker to love environmental science, etc.
Then, I realized anything that sounds like O-chem must be a punishment to the rest of us. So what can I do with this information? Glad you asked. To counter the prison overpopulation issue, what if criminals (no disrespect, just using the generalized term) were told to complete college courses instead of facing jail time. Specifically, they had to earn a passing grade in basic studies. Or in O-chem. Education + time served. I think I’m on to something here.
My strong and sweet chair, Dr. Bates, sent me a graduation gift. Among the monogrammed bottle and kind note was an entire package of relaxation tools, such as body care, spa gifts, and candy. I don’t yet miss the neverending writing and rewriting, but I do miss my weekly conversations with her.
Back to prison. Not literally. I know college courses and some educational opportunities exist in the federal prison systems’ confines. However, I do not know the intricacies. Still, I believe O-chem has a place there. Just not in my life.
_________________
I ask you –
What do you think of my prisoner remediation plan? It’s a hit, right! every pun intended
(The post Ohhhhhhhh Chem first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Allow me to share a story of my unimaginable stupidity. I’m quite literally the smartest idiot you’ll ever meet. Hands down
via IG
At a recent small group event I like to call Geriatric Game Night, I retrieved a tiny slip of paper from a bowl on the table and prepared to draw a picture of the word(s) for my fellow gamers to guess. As hard as I tried, I could not decipher the word. I rotated the paper all manners of degree. No luck. Finally, I turned to my right, to the woman who had contributed the word, and asked her what the word was. She rewarded me with the nicest “Are you dumb?” look, then mouthed the word to me.
Top hat. Top hat was the word. Top hat. Not tophat. Pronounced in my head as toe-fat. Tophat is indeed not a real word. You’ll be shocked to know it’s not a Biblical term or a word to describe an Egyptian or anyone else. Tophat is not a real word. Not today, not tomorrow, probably not ever.
You can imagine my internal monologue as well as the laughs from every gamer when I explained my mistake. To think I have a PhD is almost preposterous.
Admittedly, I am incredibly dumb with common situations, words, and items. Remember the time I walked around outside with a vape in my hand? I thought it was a pretty pink battery! At least people laugh with me. Or at me.
_________________
I ask you –
Share your moment(s) of stupidity with me!
I’m thinking of stopping the questions part of these posts. Maybe just one or two here and there. Thoughts?
Running on Fumes 
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