Journey to an Anthem

Explicit warning – Star Walkin’ – Lil Nas X

Undoubtedly, the song I chose (it chose me) from the beginning of the PhD process to its culmination might be inappropriate. Like the time I thought the song Unholy just had a good beat.

Side note. Lyrics are important, Kel.

I’ve listened to the song at least once a week for 3 years. When I felt stuck in the suck of monotony, of writing another 30, 40, 50 page paper on a subject I wasn’t 100% in love with, my anthem came in handy.

Prove 'em wrong every time 'til it's normal
Why worship legends when you know that you can join 'em?

When I joined the Navy, I was told only 1% of the population has served in the armed forces. I’m proud to be part of the 1%.

Then, when I obtained a PhD, again I was told only 1% of the population have a doctoral degree. Despite questioning the accuracy of the numbers, my question now is how many present or prior servicemembers have a PhD? Food for thought. I’m only a legend in my own mind.

Never listened to replies, learned a lesson from the wise

From the start, I knew I wanted something special to commemorate this event in my life, a visualization of what this process took from me and, alternately, gave me. A token, if you will.

I kept the images to myself for over 2 years, afraid to admit I might be able to achieve a moment in time where it would be reality. Only last summer did I show anyone the photos, and only in a moment of excitement where it seemed I was embarking on steps I could never not finish. And only when I had returned from the border did I consider maybe I should actually consult with a jeweler soon because this process is getting real. Little did I know I would be finished in less than 6 weeks.

An incredible woman, Landri, somehow took my vision for a unique class ring and magnified it by a million. Her eye for beautiful things, her love for jewelry, and somehow her knowledge to ensure perfection is evident in the piece she lovingly crafted. Sure, it’s designed by me, but she turned a vision into a piece of art.

Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'

The 6 tiny black gemstones (black spinel) represent academia, specifically higher education. Black is regal, it is effort, it is foundational. The 6 tiny blue gemstones (blue sapphire) represent water, ocean, and sky. I was fortunate to have the ability to use my GI Bill for the cost of this degree. My time in the Navy, in the ocean, with its perfect open water views is what I choose to remember of my time there. When I close my eyes, I can’t unsee the sun rising and setting across the ocean. The blue gemstones are homage to a tumultuous yet rewarding experience. Finally, the blue sapphire represents wisdom. From knowing when to start and stop, I don’t believe this path in my life was by mistake. I do believe there’s an element of divinity in everyone’s life. The sapphire is brilliant yet unassuming, beautiful yet not boastful.

I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'

There were 3 of us. Three very different individuals who came together somewhere along this journey, who banded together to offer words of encouragement, venting, and overall support for something none of us had previously accomplished. I always felt like the hype man, the one who would definitely make it across the finish line, but unapposed to taking the final steps at the rear of the group. Life is funny. I wanted to watch them succeed from my vantage point in the back so I knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Somewhere, my self-designated position got mixed up and I ended up at the front, leading, doing what I do. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it now – it’s lonely at the top. Not alone, but lonely. Fortunately, my role as the cheerleader for our band of perfectionists is still intact. And I’m overjoyed to support them in the final stages of accomplishment.

———————–

I ask you –

Feel free to share your thoughts here. No questions today.

(The post Journey to an Anthem first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It…What?

This is the story of many unrelated topics with little to no context. Admittedly, I love context. It makes me happy to consider all angles of a single sentence. I like to know things, I like to wonder. But I really like to know the back, front, and sides of the thought process. This time – I’ll let these statements sit without much explanation.

Found this article while perusing other blog posts. I love the Texas border. And I love border communities.

I walked down the street with an empty cup, a glass bowl of salad, and no fork. Frantic about menopause. This is my life. Headed to a book club about a discussion over a book I hadn’t read. Hadn’t even purchased.

How to Job 101. Someone remind me I want to build a training curriculum around this title.

Recognizing our biases has unspoken importance, more powerful than anyone could believe. Which is why I admittedly share mine. Because I’d rather say why or how I’m biased than have someone use it against me. I may be biased but I am fair. And this is undoubtedly the single best compliment I’ve ever received, courtesy of my muse. Because, of course.

Lately, work is like taking a daily sucker punch with no consideration for recovery. I just get there, start swinging, and hope a few connect.

What was the slang these young people once said? I remember. It be like that sometimes.

_________________________________

I ask you –

How often do you forget the proper utensils for a meal?

Solution to above: just take chopsticks, Kel!

Tell me your favorite, or most loathed, slang. Anything with “bruh”

(The post It…What? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Two Flowers and a Funeral

Not sure why my jonquils haven’t bloomed yet but I’m holding on to hope they will. Those are the neighbors.

Also, these gigantic mushrooms are everywhere. Somehow, even with “good dirt”, I still manage to kill greenery.

Unfortunately, I attended a funeral last week. Short of my inappropriate funeral/death humor, I do have a question – funeral attire is strange to me because why do we dress up to say goodbye? They can’t see us. Why don’t we dress up for them while they’re living instead of waiting until they’re gone? Now, did I dress up because societal norms say I should? Yes. But would I have thought wrongly of someone who came to pay their respects in their work clothes? No. Because we shouldn’t have to look a certain way to show respect.

_________________

I ask you –

Have your jonquils bloomed?

What is your typical funeral attire?

I saw photos of the cherry blossoms blooming in DC and promised myself one day I would go there!

(The post Two Flowers and a Funeral first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Questionable Encounters

One night, whilst mini was supposed to be going to sleep, she suddenly became the wizard of past bygones. As she mumbled on and on about her dislike for some unintelligible classmate who had annoyed her that day, she turned the tables on me. “Mama, did you ever have someone in school who annoyed you?” Unwilling to name anyone from my childhood, I casually deflected to a generalized answer about how I was sure this happened to me at least once. The resulting dialogue ensued-

Mini: Mama, I ask Papa and Daddy these questions and they tell me who it was. Like, Terry stole my lunch money and Jon/Joe/Dean was really annoying. You never tell me what happened!

Me: (again, unwilling to name someone with whom I had a poor encounter with over 20 years ago) Honey, I don’t remember the names of all the people who annoyed me a long time ago. I’ve just forgotten.

Mini: (now animated and definitely not going to sleep) How can you forget?! These are the people who annoyed you! I remember everyone who annoys me! (…so says the girl who can’t “remember” to brush her teeth every day)

To think I have a PhD and still exhibit the eternal sigh of weariness. She exhausts me.

———————–

I ask you –

Does your child(ren) ask questions like this?

Can you name specific individuals from your childhood who annoyed you?

Someone once argued with me about women being wizards. The person said only men could be wizards. Is this true? Why?

(The post Questionable Encounters first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Waxing Poetic

Throughout my nearly 40 years, (ahem, 39) I’ve had opportunity to explore Texas. From the piney woods of East Texas to the coastal regions of South Texas through the flat lands, prairies, and rolling hills of West Texas (because, yes, somehow all of those exist here), I’m in awe.

Some would say Texas is a huge state that takes 427 days to cross. Some would say Texas is flat, brown, and dead. Some would say Texas is nothing compared to places overseas or even other U.S. states. To this I say – you’re mistaken.

There’s beauty in those rolling hills, where cell service and satellite radio all but disappear. There’s inspiration in the far-flung homes and ranches that provide services and goods to the residents of our nation, and beyond. What you see as brown and dead, I see hard work, generations of people doing what I have no desire to do in working their land and tending livestock, people with families and livelihoods. There’s nothing ugly there.

Have you seen the Rio Grande, water rushing along crevices formed millions of years ago? Have you seen cliffs, running parallel to major highways? Have you looked out over the edge of those roadways and marveled at what was below? Have you experienced a spring of bluebonnets and jonquils? Have you met the people in those small, forgotten towns, the ones who welcome you as family? Have you explored a proper downtown?

What about the incredible food? From pie shops to tacos, Texas’ food scene is unrivaled.

In honor of today’s dissertation defense (which you can find out if I was successful at by following me on Instagram or Facebook), this post is homage to the incredible people and places it took me to and through. Some communities I will most likely never visit again because I have no reason to do so; however, some will forever be in my heart due to the breathtaking stories shared by their inhabitants.

We are not numbers. We are not just constituents. We are human beings. And we all deserve to have our story told with respect, honesty, and genuine love. For the people I met, the people I couldn’t get to, and the immigrants who my work affects, thank you. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.

(The post Waxing Poetic first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Spring Break Recap

running debut!

To think a few years ago the most difficult part of my weekend (and week days) was figuring out when to do a long run. To think carving up to 2 hrs from my day was nearly impossible. Ha. Now, I know I can do anything.

apple

tree

Once I received the running green light on Wednesday (happy birthday, Kel), I ran my fastest mile since Nov (13:10!!) and played volleyball. Although this coaching gig is fun, I’d much rather play.

Spring break was quite the whirlwind of a week. From high emotions to adventure parks to a major wind storm and a furlough avoidance, March is shaping up to be one for the books. Speaking of books, I still haven’t read this month’s book club recommendation.

_________________

I ask you –

What currently takes up most of your time?

Do you/have you ever coached a sport?

Vote here for Spring Break for Adults!

(The post Spring Break Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Comfy Corner

I originally wrote this post in early 2024 so I thought it fitting I publish it today, one week prior to the scheduled dissertation defense which has consumed my life for a long time.

PMS sucks. I find myself with a lowered patience threshold than usual. Just the little things. However, I often have some really creative ideas during this time. Like this – a reading corner! The plan is to restructure my writing desk and general PhD-making setup into a reading nook upon graduation. I’m not certain what the original thought was for this alcove of a room attached to the formal bedroom. It developed, for me, into a bookcase/writing desk/storage square. Obviously, at this time, it’s where student magic happens.

Sidenote: I do understand how some people can only write or work in their “designated space(s)”. It is a mental act to have all the right conditions when it comes to concentration. One would think I have trouble with being so close to the bedroom, literally within eyesight. However, I believe it was very strategic on my part because mini can wake up and SEE me working; therefore, I’m preventing a mad dash down the hallway and/or her getting up at the crack of dawn when I’m busy. So far, year 3, this is working.

Image credit: Amazon

Anyway, a reading corner complete with oversized comfy chair, foot rest, end tables, and probably a fake plant. Because…death.

Often it feels like this stage of my life is never-ending and I will literally be writing forever. However, I know it’s untrue. I think. Maybe? So planning small rewards – or refocuses, if you will – breaks up the monotony. Like when I forget to check what day my interlibrary loan book is due. Or when I forget mini’s age because I’ve just regurgitated from memory every family member’s phone number, email, blood type, address…you get the point. Forgive me when I can’t do it all! Mini has not let me forget this yet.

My point is I need a place to read and gather my thoughts before the day attempts to steal every remaining functioning brain cell. Can you blame me?

_________________

I ask you –

What would your comfy corner include?

How much time does it take to get your thoughts together?

Fake plant vs real plant. Your preference?

(The post Comfy Corner first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

It’s really happening –

It’s been a whirlwind since I posted last Wednesday.

First, my dissertation defense is scheduled for 19 March. The date is about 45 days sooner than expected. I need to get busy finding a top hat. It’s actually happening.

Next, I couldn’t find this candy anywhere. Originally, I purchased it at TJ Maxx or equivalent store…Ross, etc. The label was dark so I don’t really know. I looked everywhere. Then, I found it at Target. Online. If you want to order said candy, you must purchase at least $35 of merchandise. So instead of spending $35 on candy + other items, I spent nearly $60 on all candy made by this brand. Good purchase? I don’t know but now I have a lot of candy!

Then, this happened. Gummies. I’m uncertain how many years it’s been since I deleted the game (nearly 3?). I know it’s a waste of time but I gave myself stipulations for playing. For example, if I want to play during the day, then I must be walking. So now I take a few extra walks. For exercise purposes, of course.

___________________

I ask you –

Have you ever restarted a game?

What’s your favorite candy?

Wish me luck this week!

(The post It’s really happening – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Day in Photos, pt 14

“Self-discipline: the art of investing today’s actions for tomorrow’s results. Making yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you would like to have.” – The Traveler’s Summit (a fantastic book, highly recommend)

Waiting patiently for the jonquils to bloom. Typically they are in full glory around my birthday so just a few more weeks! It’s cherry blossom time in the Eastern part of the U.S. As they’re my favorite, I find them notable to include here.

A sweet gift from my beautiful friend! We haven’t met in awhile but as soon as the weather turned favorable we were outside walking…which prompted a partnership and more opportunities to walk and talk!

________________

I ask you –

Do you have a favorite flower?

When did you last pamper yourself?

Thoughts on the walk and talk method of meetings.

(The post Day in Photos, pt 14 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I am Batman!

Courtesy of the 82 TRW, I have officially accepted the title as Batman, complete with Thor hammer. Don’t start with me.

Some may know the story of my short stint with parasomnia, a stress-induced condition where the sufferee (me) uses mobile technology while sleeping. Specifically, I text an entire class of people “I am Batman”! Then, I suppose I promptly deleted the text but it was too late because said class shared the messages with me the next day. High stress + delusional ideals = Batman

Anyway, 2024 was a helluva year. 82 TRW Civ Category II, Supervisor of the Year and AETC Civ Category II, Supervisor of the Year. I told leadership I was taking a break in 2025, which I believe I’ve mentioned here before.

Truly a testament to an incredible team of people who support and work alongside me. I can’t do this alone. Kudos to them, they’re the real winners.

(The post I am Batman! Up first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)