Humor Knows No Bounds + Tetris Master?

The adventures in Bonnywood Manor are some of my favorites to read. Brian’s humor is the best!

In keeping with more office-themed things, here’s a few nuggets: my title should be changed to calendar girl. But not the sexy, mildly inappropriate calendar girl you may have immediately been considering. More like I play Tetris with calendars and am on standby for changes at a moment’s notice. In fact, a wonderful co-worker called me with these words – “Let’s play a game!” – which really wasn’t a fun game at all because it involved moving around days’ worth of events to accommodate some last minute silliness. Good thing I love her.

She said “Can I take my own picture?”

Also, as the reigning queen of dad jokes, it’s my sworn duty to entertain strangers with punny, simple jokes. To my own delight, of course. I feel like our security team draws straws on who has to deal with me when my car rounds the bend. I’m on the “do not engage” list. Occasionally they laugh with me (at me?) and I congratulate myself on a job well done. I’ll be here all week, folks!

Hallelujah for the return of football

Lastly, soon they’ll be requiring IQ tests in my workplace. Hahah, I wish. Short of missing a few crayons, inability to decipher which floor we’re on, and following basic computer instructions, I think it’s going well! It’s just a three ring circus without a grandmaster.

Clap, clap. Ohhhhhhh, cabana boyyyyy!!!

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I ask you –

Want to join my circus?

Are you the problem child of your organization? Be honest!!

Please check out fellow blogger, Brian Lageose. He’s hilarious!

Staying Between the Lines

“Someone will love you, someone will love you, someone will love you. But someone isn’t me.”

I’m teaching my child not to accept mistreatment. She is loved and joyful. First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me. How difficult is it really to acknowledge another’s feelings? Perhaps acknowledging your own was the problem. For those who claim communication is the most important part of any relationship, you really suck at it! Well…more the giving end than the receiving end. But then again, you suck so what did I expect.

You’re enough.

If only people would communicate their intentions. Or be honest when there’s no expectations. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Surely there’s a fancy list of all my indiscretions again. Remember? Nothing is ever your fault.

So you just stop, like that? Seemed so easy. No work, no cares, no…nothing. Silence can be unbearably loud. But I couldn’t hold it together, keep going on like it didn’t hurt. Blessed numbness. Whatever you’re searching for yet haven’t found – I hope the best. I still care. Let’s make it about you. Because it always has been.

Kel, life will continue without you. So don’t let it. You are strong and capable.

OY3, out.

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I ask you –

Cryptic or no?

How’s your self-talk game going? Great, why thank you for asking!

Tell me about your day!

Office Life / Cold Front

My office has a serious Crumbl cookie addiction. As well as donut addiction. If you want to get something into the hands of leadership quickly, we can be bribed. Everyone has a price!

Speaking of office stuff, when the going gets tough, I remind myself of an instance where I helped a stranger get into their master’s program. Well, it was a miniscule part but I played it. Seeing as how it was several years ago, I imagine they have since graduated. Pretty proud!

Again, on the office theme, I have encountered some really beautiful sunrises lately. The only problem is I’m usually driving and too lazy to pull over. Being punctual is my thing. Although my phone doesn’t take the best sun photos, you get the idea. I adore the mornings. There’s just something about a new day, waking up before others, the quiet stillness of the world early in the day. Before life gets crazy. Before the sun starts boiling me alive. The days are getting shorter hence the darkness is lasting longer. Bring on Fall!

We’re getting closer to the closing of Hell’s Gate aka end of summer in Tejas. Not close enough. Sadly I missed the opportunity to run last week when it was a blizzard-like 59°. Break out the parkas, folks. I’ll get my cold weather running gear. It’s a party!

Alas, a day later, it was 99° outside and 78° in the office. Have I mentioned I miss teleworking?

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I ask you –

Does your office have a particular addiction?

What are the average daily temperatures where you live?

Tell me an office skill you’re not proud to be good at! I’m getting good at work order requests.

What Matters Most / Prioritizing

Making Priorities

Faith/Family

Forgiveness. Redemption. Grace. Kindness. Among many others, these are words that mean much to me. Being responsible for a family unit is quite a burden to bear which is why I believe the next few points are incredibly important. Responsibility weighs heavily on the shoulders of those who choose to accept the load. (and sometimes there’s no choice)

It has been said that ‘the two greatest days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why’. God created you with a purpose in mind (2 Corinthians 5:5). Indeed there are big plans for me.

Sleep

My body has an internal alarm clock prompting me to go to bed at 8:30pm. Every. Single. Night. Like my dad, I’ve always been a morning person. It has served me well! 9 hours is my optimal, pre-programmed amount of sleep necessary for a fully functioning day. I’m a light sleeper and have little trouble falling asleep, but find difficulty in staying asleep.

This may sound like I put way too much priority on knowing about my own sleep patterns. However, recognizing the importance of sleep and how it affects your body is something I think many take for granted. Sleep – or lack thereof – is attributed to weight, outlook on life, stress, and disease. When we sleep, our bodies recuperate from innumerable daily encounters with germs, people, and events, as well as prepare us for days ahead. Personally I think consistent sleep schedules are one of the most important ways to set up children for success.

Running

As I’ve probably mentioned before, streaking is such a confidence booster. Even when it’s only 1 mile a day, the proof is tangible. Typically I notice a difference 2 weeks into it – I’m lighter on my feet, stamina is high, and the urge to keep running is overwhelming. Although I despise treadmill running, the routine (aka priority) of running at lunch (aka runch) is much needed. My lunch hour at work is nearly sacred. Soon enough, you can find me back on the roads near the office happily making the rounds.

It’s important mini sees me doing what I love. Running helps in many ways: decreases anxiety, increases the feel-good hormones, and recharges my people’ing batteries. We all need an outlet, if you will. Mine is found inside a pair of running shoes.

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I ask you –

How many hours of sleep do you average nightly?

What is your outlet?

Share a priority I may have missed here!

Day(s) in Photos, pt 29

Finally found a huge pretzel! It’s not pretzel bites, but it will do for the time being.

When I have time on my hands, I attempt to decorate them.

Beer shoes?!? Brooks outdid themselves this time. I feel like these shoes speak volumes to runner’s priorities.

Although I love the below list of words, I feel as if it’s missing one: whackadoo!

Credit: @hardcorecomedy2.0 via Instagram

Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for – ta da!!! 2 years of Gummies netted me a whole hour of unlimited line boosts. I was super excited by this prize until I realized it was not the same as a whole hour of unlimited lives. So in approximately 12 mins I was out of lives and had to wait 10+ mins to get another life, repeat, etc.

I really need to get help.

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I ask you –

On a scale of 1 to no longer being my friend, how much do you love huge pretzels?

What word is missing from the list?

Honest opinions only: is my Gummy addiction out of control?

Childhood Favorites

“Hot Jello Water” – the process of drinking the jello before you ever put it in the refrigerator to solidify. To be fair, as kids we called it Hot Jello, but mini coined it Hot Jello Water so here we are. HJW was a childhood staple/treat whenever we were sick. I think mom found a way to get calories and sugar inside our little bodies. Fun fact: my little human doesn’t like jello. Really, I didn’t know this was possible. But she loves some hot jello water!

I don’t have a photo for this next item. Even if I did, the photo would do it no justice. My mom’s famous – only to me – Mexican Casserole. Think layers of corn tortillas, cheese, and a ground beef/green chili mixture. I realize the simplicity of these ingredients, but for some reason whenever I try to recreate this dish it just isn’t “right”. Whenever I hear the words Mexican casserole, this meal immediately comes to mind but no one makes it like mom does.

Mini doesn’t know it yet but this final food will become a staple at all sleepovers and girls’ nights we ever host. The most clever name my sister and I ever came up with was “Frozen Banana Things”. To hear my mom tell the story, her mother would make these when she (my mom) and her siblings were young. Basically, you stab a single, sliced banana piece with a toothpick, top with a marashino cherry, (one banana slice, one cherry per toothpick) and assemble banana-down on a rimmed baking sheet. Then, you pour lemon juice in the baking dish until the banana slices are almost covered. Freeze the entire baking sheet until bananas are frozen. To eat, break apart (if necessary) each frozen banana thing.

According to my childhood friends, they’re addictive; a perfect sweet, sour treat. I haven’t had them in years, but I still remember the joy of making and sharing these late at night. Soon enough, the pitter patter of little feet sneaking them from the freezer will be heard. But first, rest!

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I ask you –

What childhood dishes did you enjoy?

Is there another name for the Mexican casserole I mentioned? It’s similar to King Ranch Chicken Casserole.

Share ideas for ingredients that don’t seem to go together but work well! Lemon juice and bananas!

Uh Oh, Here We Go

*sensitive topic* you’ve been warned…get it, get it

So let’s talk about this some –

Did you know it’s your responsibility to check the account settings of your social media accounts? Like, regularly? Aka more than once in a lifetime. Just a suggestion…

Friends, the above photo isn’t new. Those settings have been in place for awhile now. Annnnnnddddddd. An email was sent before this new area went public explaining what the platform was about to do. Guaranteed most – all – deleted the email, went about their day, and never gave it a second thought. Now here we are! Surprise, surprise.

The “culture” of blaming is a source of contention. Instead of taking responsibility, it’s too easy to blame someone else. It’s not me, it’s you. I teach and preach self-responsibility to a kindergartner; make no mistake I hold the same regard for adults.

And, just for laughs: You may think I’m random, but really I’m just quick-witted! Also, I’m not late to the party. Perhaps I just choose to keep my mouth shut. Try it sometime. It’s fun! We all have an opinion, yada yada yada. Surely this won’t be the last of instances we get terribly wrong. There’s always more where that came from.

Might I suggest you open those “…we’ve updated our privacy controls…” emails.

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I ask you –

Do you typically delete the above mentioned type of emails or do you open to peruse?

What does being responsible look like in your home? Mowed yard, clean bathrooms.

Share something random about yourself!

I Wasn’t Ready!

Well, it happened. I don’t know yet how I feel about it, but it didn’t wait on me to decide. Kindergarten just sprang up, like a sudden slap in the face. You’re overly dramatic, Kel. Yesterday she was a baby, today is Day 3 of the beginning of her not needing me anymore. Sigh. If she’d just sleep in her own bed, I might not complain so much. Fat chance.

“Remember when you won Bluejacket of the Quarter?” No, actually, I didn’t remember that until you mentioned it. Reminiscing on my time in the Navy can be something else. The Air Force does an event called a Release Party when Airmen promote. I find this interesting because the Navy celebrates everything with cake. I don’t know about you, but I prefer cake to a party any day. I love cake!

So I’ve been sick for weeks now it seems. And as soon as I get well, then someone else in our house gets sick. If we could all just be well at the same time I’d really appreciate it.

My run streak is broken. A tragedy. See above sickness. I could have ran, I know I could have. But I didn’t. I just wanted to get well! In other related news, my running friend, Morgan from Oregon, has an interest in running Run the Rail. In the late 1990’s, two railroads, the Union Pacific and the Chaparral, decided to cease active service and “railbanked” this stretch of rail bed making it available for non-motorized activities, hence the 6th annual Run the Rail Half Marathon. This year will be the first time a marathon distance is offered. I’m considering running with Morgan, but the decision needs to be made like…NOW…because there’s only 6 weeks until this race and I’m currently training at a max 5k distance.

Day 2

First day of school takeaway: lunch is the best part of the day. Can’t argue. I guess it was so great she left her thermos in the cafeteria and decided to eat school-offered lunch vice taking her own on the second day. In her defense, Friday was pizza day.

Anybody else remember school pizza? It was amazing!

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I ask you –

What year did you graduate high school?

Do you have little people in school? What grades?

Tell me your favorite school meal!

Reflections

Something about knowing my daughter is now – pretty much – solely in my care has flipped a switch inside my brain. I don’t get the usual anxiety-ridden moments of overwhelming sadness yet simultaneous lack of patience feeling lately. Knock on wood. Her whole life has been spent on a week on/week off, month on/month off schedule and although she may be accustomed to it as best she can be, it really wears on adults, too. The lack of fretting about jamming months’ worth of activities, snuggles, and meal plans into 30 days is a relief. I understand I can only speak to my side of this story. Mini’s dad is definitely dealing with some big emotions because she’s not with him regularly. Everyone does the best they can, but I can’t imagine how tough it is on the parent(s) who relinquish time with their children.

Characteristics of the wise: friendliness, listening, and justice. Power resides in the people who don’t let others control their emotions. This is huge! These days the divisiveness that exists is enough to make me scream. Rather than unity, our world is experiencing an upheaval most of us have never experienced. Sure, we’re but one generation of many; however, this world is our children’s future. It’s scary to consider. When I think about big events impacting my life until this point, it almost follows a predictable path. In my 20’s, I thought it was the best time in my life. I had independence, tangible goals, and I discovered myself. Age 25 was, by far, the wildest year ever – the stories that come from it are so uncharacteristic of me.

baking with Madam Butterfly

When mini was born, I was exactly 30 and it brought about a whole other era. Halfway through my 30’s now, I consider this the decade of finding the best everything. Solid career, raising a clone, doing the dance mom thing, but still searching for what will make my next chapter in life successful. Others say their 40’s is the prime of life. Still some say 50’s. Definitely subjective. Recently I had a conversation regarding how many people you knew from Kindergarten do you now consider successes? The definition of success ranged from seeing the world/leaving your home town to serving in the military to becoming a professional in a notable field, like medicine. Please note: obviously we all measure success differently and by no means must you do any of the above to feel successful. Just waking up each day is a success in my book!

Being an adult means there’s a level of respect I don’t think I deserve. Whenever I tell “kids” to do something, I fully expect them to say something along the lines of “Who put you in charge? Who do you think you are? You’re a kid, too!” I’m completely amazed – and silently pleased with myself – when people listen to me, as if I know anything! This is my success.

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I ask you –

Does reflecting feel like a walk down memory lane or a lesson in futility?

When was your “prime” and why do you feel that way?

Name one element of “success”! Learning to enjoy wine.

Is this the…Tipping Point?

Podcast debut! The Modern Idiot (affectionately acronym’ed TMI) graciously invited me as a guest onto their pod. What a fun night! Spoiler alert: one half of the dynamic duo who hosts this podcast was a US Navy classmate. We have history, you could say.

In the same weekend, an old article I wrote for a different blog, Pregnant and Perfect, was reposted by a surgeon in Beverly Hills, California. This may not sound like a celebratory moment for anyone else, but the fact it’s still relevant information is astounding. When I mentioned this article to my sister, even she said she didn’t remember anyone using or sharing info on maternity belts when she was pregnant with her children, 16 and 14 years ago, respectively. Don’t ask me how I they’re so old. I don’t know. Granted it may not help with all pregnancy-related issues, but my personal belief is using a maternity belt regularly during the workday and when I expected to be on my feet for prolonged periods of time was key to a lack of stretch marks and ligament pain during my own pregnancy because it lifted my belly up and back which helps with posture and pain. Much like a girdle, it’s not sexy by any means but it gets the job done!

“It was not the perspective of the painting that had been wrong all these years, it was the perspective of the people looking at it.” I fully realize this post is behind in the publishing process because the above events happened nearly a month ago. For those that don’t know, I make it a practice to wait a few weeks to post, if possible, to protect mine and my family’s privacy. And it helps me to disconnect. So I waited on this post for one reason: I needed to step back in order to not get consumed with doing too much at once. Granted, it took me how many weeks to get a merchandise page going (nearly 2 years of weeks). But anyway…

About the painting? I don’t know. I don’t paint. I can barely walk and chew gum. You get the idea.

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I ask you –

Have you listened to my podcast episode yet? Your thoughts?

Do you paint? Draw? Chew gum?

Other bloggers: tell me how much time typically passes between writing and publishing your posts.