Reflections

Something about knowing my daughter is now – pretty much – solely in my care has flipped a switch inside my brain. I don’t get the usual anxiety-ridden moments of overwhelming sadness yet simultaneous lack of patience feeling lately. Knock on wood. Her whole life has been spent on a week on/week off, month on/month off schedule and although she may be accustomed to it as best she can be, it really wears on adults, too. The lack of fretting about jamming months’ worth of activities, snuggles, and meal plans into 30 days is a relief. I understand I can only speak to my side of this story. Mini’s dad is definitely dealing with some big emotions because she’s not with him regularly. Everyone does the best they can, but I can’t imagine how tough it is on the parent(s) who relinquish time with their children.

Characteristics of the wise: friendliness, listening, and justice. Power resides in the people who don’t let others control their emotions. This is huge! These days the divisiveness that exists is enough to make me scream. Rather than unity, our world is experiencing an upheaval most of us have never experienced. Sure, we’re but one generation of many; however, this world is our children’s future. It’s scary to consider. When I think about big events impacting my life until this point, it almost follows a predictable path. In my 20’s, I thought it was the best time in my life. I had independence, tangible goals, and I discovered myself. Age 25 was, by far, the wildest year ever – the stories that come from it are so uncharacteristic of me.

baking with Madam Butterfly

When mini was born, I was exactly 30 and it brought about a whole other era. Halfway through my 30’s now, I consider this the decade of finding the best everything. Solid career, raising a clone, doing the dance mom thing, but still searching for what will make my next chapter in life successful. Others say their 40’s is the prime of life. Still some say 50’s. Definitely subjective. Recently I had a conversation regarding how many people you knew from Kindergarten do you now consider successes? The definition of success ranged from seeing the world/leaving your home town to serving in the military to becoming a professional in a notable field, like medicine. Please note: obviously we all measure success differently and by no means must you do any of the above to feel successful. Just waking up each day is a success in my book!

Being an adult means there’s a level of respect I don’t think I deserve. Whenever I tell “kids” to do something, I fully expect them to say something along the lines of “Who put you in charge? Who do you think you are? You’re a kid, too!” I’m completely amazed – and silently pleased with myself – when people listen to me, as if I know anything! This is my success.

_______________________

I ask you –

Does reflecting feel like a walk down memory lane or a lesson in futility?

When was your “prime” and why do you feel that way?

Name one element of “success”! Learning to enjoy wine.

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