Because…I am.

Recently, someone asked why do you want to look different than the people you work with, presumably because of what I wear to work. I said it’s not because I want to, it’s because I need to. You see, when it comes time to stand up for my team, they deserve a leader who will do just that – stand up. It’s a privilege to be their leader and I never want anyone to question my loyalty to them. One of my first days on the fitness job, I was approached with the words “You look like you’re in charge”. My reply: I am. I want to look like a leader because…I am. I want to stand in front of, beside, and behind my employees because…I do. More than any of these; however, is I want my team to see me do it because…I have. And I will. And I will continue to do so. When my team wins, we all win. In 2024, we did big things. Even just a few weeks into 2025, we’re doing bigger things.

a few of many

The glass ceiling still exists. Oh it does. Even in the military (and I doubt it’s only the military) women still struggle obtaining top positions. Not to say it’s impossible – it’s absolutely not and has been proven time and again – but it’s a struggle. I never want to be a leader who was chosen because I was the “best of the worst”. Because I can name a dozen who were. I want to be chosen because I’m the best at what I do. Thus far, I believe that has happened. But I don’t want to become complicit to positional power, easily stripped with removal of a title. Sure, other people rely on me, but it is not that single reason which makes me a leader.

No, this post is not a whoohoo look at me and all the great things I’m doing. I don’t need a pat on the back. My only goal is to empower someone else to do the same, step up, be the leader you’re called to be. Because someone is watching you be the best you. And you have a team to lead.

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I ask you –

Are you an organizational leader?

What’s your opinion of the glass ceiling?

Tell me your title, in whatever capacity you are in.

(The post Because…I am. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Get(ting) Over It.

That’s what my knee feels like inside. A fireplace! Just when I think it’s gotten better or I haven’t noticed any pain, here it comes, out of the blue. Ready to wreck my day. 13 weeks of fireworks inside there. This is so much fun.

On the drive to the island, we stopped at the Czech Stop in West, Texas, home of the most amazing cinnamon roll I’ve ever had. The lovely employees warmed it up, handed it to me wrapped in wax paper, and gave us a stack of napkins. I inhaled it in about 0.79 seconds. I’m still thinking about that cinnamon roll.

You know those people who, just the very sound of their voice, makes you angry? I know one of them. In fact, my words are I’d rather cut the grass with my teeth than have a conversation with them. But you know what? So glad you asked. Here they come, trying to have conversations with me, ahem…need something. I’ve been known to walk the other direction, taking the looooong way home, to avoid conflict, I mean conversation. Grudge much.

Grief is an interesting thing. It finally happened, the voice I had been waiting on, my very own Jiminy Cricket, if you will, spoke these words: Get Over It. Suddenly, I realized I had been living in anger the past few months, unwilling to accept it might still be grief. Sure, I said it on RoF, I was dealing with grief, but I hadn’t fully addressed it. It was shrouded in anger, anger never expressed, anger I believed would mask the grief. No, child. Not only did I experience the entirety of anger, but I still had to navigate grief, too. Seems unfair. If only I had recognized it for what it was, an additional emotion vice a substitute. 30 years is a long time to grieve. And an even longer time to hold on to anger.

Get over it, Kel. I did/am/will/continue to.

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I ask you –

Do you prefer real wood or the pre-made logs in your fireplace?

Which is the best: the middle or the outside of a cinnamon roll? Middle. Always.

Share something you’re working to get over.

(The post Get(ting) Over It. first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Defiant and Noncompliant

I’ve (mostly) come back to my senses so allow me to share the good things, the fun, the holiday spirit activities before too much of January arrives with all its circumstances.

I connected with like-minded others who have a passion for servant leadership. Some are also self-described adrenaline junkies, which I believe speaks to a world of chaos I’m mildly interested in exploring.

I reconnected with a special person who will probably never read this post, but holds space in my heart. We were both very young when I joined his family, so to see him as an adult, with children of his own, but with the same mischievous smile of years past – a huge smile crosses my own face.

The weight bench and weights represent strength, but more than traditional strength equipment. They are joy, peace, and a fair amount of pain. The past 2 winters I’ve been unable to run on the island like I train year-round to do. It’s disappointing. So I continue to train in other ways…ways that make me feel strong.

Sharing some words spoken to me, in natural muse-like behavior: You may be biased. But you are fair. I can’t think of anything better than to be known as fair, especially when leading others. Maybe I’m doing something right.

Lastly, a lesson in obedience rather than how I’ve been obedient. Some have a certain type of face they must keep under wraps. You know the one. The infamous RBF. Luckily, I don’t have one of those. However, I do have a very prominent laugh. It’s loud. It’s me. If only I could control it. I can’t. It bubbles out of me like a fountain spewing joy at the most inopportune times. The pastor called me his favorite heckler. Probably not a compliment. People stare. Some smile so that makes me feel better. Others look over in alarm. As they should. The legacy I leave won’t be for world peace, or lavish contributions to society, but to the worst timing of a laugh. I guess we’re all remembered for something.

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I ask you –

What connections have you made lately?

Any go-to activities when you can’t do what you love?

Tell me your defining trait!

(The post Defiant and Noncompliant first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Anew in 2025

My heart has been hurting for some time now. The holidays had me at war with myself. Every day in November, I did one thing for myself. I went to the coffee shop frequently, I escaped work to go window shopping, I went on long walks, I dated me. In December, I set a goal to work out as much during the week as possible. I created my own workouts to excuse the knee pain, I religiously followed up with doctors to get the X-ray and MRI, I pushed hard for me.

Then, the diagnosis of patellar tendonitis. Doesn’t sound so bad. My first question – can I run? Short answer: not yet. There’s still inflammation, there’s still remedies, there’s still physical therapy. I was happy with a diagnosis and thankful for an intact meniscus, but I still can’t run. I’m still in pain. There’s still swelling. I’m not ready to run, I know, I know. Yet I really wanted to just take off, down the street, carefree, moving my body the way I love to do.

2024: 267 miles

Afterwards, the threat of government shutdown, of furloughing my staff, of making dozens of notifications to people who just want to enjoy their holiday. My thin thread of sanity was fraying. My hard-fought and well-earned beach vacation was beginning to feel like a middle finger to everyone left behind. The one beating heart inside me threatened to collapse.

I should be excited. I should be ready to tackle the new year. My ethics board review will most likely be completed early January. I can begin scheduling, then traveling for my research. I will graduate in 2025.

But, for whatever reason, peace eludes me. The things I’ve tried to fill my time with, to refocus on, to overcome, have not been enough. I’m getting there. This is a hard one. And I think it’s important that others know you’re not alone.

Artist: B. N.

Not to worry. I’m ok. Just need a little more time.

_______________

I ask you –

Any defining word for 2025?

Feel free to share your difficulties with the holidays or regarding life in general. We’re all doing the best we can.

(The post Anew in 2025 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Holiday Recap

There were school parties.

And work parties.

A lot of walks.

And even more coffee –

More to come in 2025.

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I ask you –

Recap your holidays!

(The post Holiday Recap first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post! Tip Toe’ing

2nd re-post on this joyous Christmas week. Hope you all are celebrating, rejoicing, smiling, and taking time to enjoy the holiday. Be back soon!

…thru the tulips!

It’s a good thing the expedition called for tiptoeing because my knees are very bruised from volleyball but we’re undefeated so I can’t complain too much. Also, a day after turning 38, I managed to bust all the blood vessels in my middle finger putting the volleyball net away. Not my middle finger! I need that one! This is why…I have spare parts.

Back to the tulips, the Texas Tulips located in Pilot Point, TX. Only accessible about 6 weeks out of the year, it’s a fun getaway, one I didn’t know anything about until a few weeks ago. Spring Break presented the perfect opportunity.

I might have also overindulged in sushi and cookies. Both were incredible! If you’re in the DFW area, Sushi Axiom is one of my favorites. I probably should have taken a photo but I ate it all before considering the photo op. For the cookies, Insomnia Cookies is the way to go. Only available near college campuses, they’re open until 0200ish and offer delivery of warm, fresh cookies to your doorstep. Not kidding.

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I ask you –

What are your favorite flowers?

Have you heard of Insomnia Cookies?

Any idea on the origin of the word tiptoe?

(The post Re-Post! Tip Toe’ing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Break Time

As seen in a devotional, “…our human hearts and minds wander.” The premise was how our spaces tell a story of who we are, what we hold dear, and how best to utilize these spaces. As I have a full coffee bar in my office, I think it’s mostly clear.

After a particularly emotional day, a stranger told me I should give the equivalent of Ted talks to other women and mothers regarding some struggles. He believed I could write/share motivational stories, or even newsletters, to amass a following of people who need to hear how it is possible to overcome adversity. I was quite humbled by his words. Adding to my to-do list.

Reciprocate, not initiate. Not to be confused with the term “follower”. Recently, I read an Instagram post saying something to the effect that women step (metaphorically) after men do. In other words, a dance, so to speak, or a courtesy within norms of deferring to another, specifically, deferring to a leader in life, a leader of the home, a leader in the relationship. It was fascinating to consider how some believe the adage if you’re not a leader then you’re a follower. Words matter. Rather than perpetuating the old saying, if we reframe the words, then it more adequately explains the dynamics.

The past several weeks have been nonstop, and I fear I’m on the edge of burnout. Still waiting on ethics board approval so I’ve done little for my dissertation yet work and activities have monopolized my time and brain. I need a break.

____________

I ask you –

What story do your spaces tell of you?

Have the holidays been busy?

Share your thoughts on reciprocation vs initiation.

(The post Break Time first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Productive Waiting

Merry Fitmas, everyone. The most loathed “holiday” to ever be. According to my spouse and child. It’s actually quite simple. For every day of December, each person must accomplish one physical activity and one chore-centered task. For example, a physical activity such as walking, i.e., a purposeful physical activity. Not the normal amount of daily activity. Parts tried. A chore is something outside of the regular day’s chores; also, going to work does not count. Maybe I made up the rules, maybe I didn’t. Thus far, I think we’ve all been incredibly productive albeit unwilling.

Truth be told, I don’t really like the holidays. There is a heaviness to the expectation to perform, decorate, volunteer, and smile through it all. I’m all about volunteerism – huge fan! But why can’t I just volunteer 11 months out of the year?

Waiting is also very expensive. I priced the software I would need post-research. $500 for 50 hours?! Granted, it’s the best on the market, I’m familiar with it, and it decreases my effort to transcribe dozens of interviews. Sold! Cost be damned. I’ll pay for convenience.

And, on this final note of paying for things, I purchased a voice recorder which uploads audio files – in this case, interviews – to my computer for transcription via the aforementioned incredibly expensive software. Again, convenience. See also expensive.

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I ask you –

On average, how productive are you?

How do you bide your time during long periods of waiting?

Tell me the most expensive thing you’ve purchased lately.

(The post Productive Waiting first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Unverifiable

Randomly, my muse shared the story of Lucille Ball discovering the presence of Japanese spies via her dental fillings. Recognizing this information is entirely out of context, I implore you to Google it. I did. Somewhere in the past 30+ years, I recall reading about it but had forgotten.

Unfortunately, according to this article, the story as told by Lucy appears to be mostly anecdotal. I believe it was a possibility as others have reported their own dental fillings “picking up” sounds and frequencies. But what’s really the most interesting part of the article is the fact Lucy was investigated by the FBI. It appears we have something in common other than our great sense of humor!

Credit: via Instagram

…in other news…as predicted, the knee x-ray was unremarkable. However, once I was notified of the results via official channels, the scheduler almost dismissed my complaint. Her words were “Well, the x-ray was good so everything should be fine.” I said “Excuse me?! Wait a minute! I’m still in pain. The x-ray didn’t cure me!” Have you lost your mind? Now, someone else should be calling to schedule a CT scan or MRI. She did ask me some odd questions like do you have any more bullets in your body, and are you expecting any shunts. 1. More bullets? 2. I’m not expecting any, no. This saga isn’t boding well.

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I ask you –

Are you familiar with the story of Lucy mentioned above?

How hot is your preferred shower temperature?

Fact or false: dental fillings discover sound waves. Ehh I’m leaning on the false side of things.

(The post Unverifiable first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

The Big Easy

Thus far, I’ve been fortunate to travel to some new cities to explore, network, and learn. The annual 2024 Athletic Business Conference and Expo was held in New Orleans, LA – a city I am somewhat familiar with but hadn’t traversed via foot in quite some time. My previous visit was with Morgan from Oregon when we ran the Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon, circa 2019. I believe my wingwoman and I gave it a genuine run for its money with our average 25K steps per day on this trip.

First, let’s get the serious stuff out of the way. I never felt unsafe; however, the changing atmosphere around us when the sun went down was palpable. I doubt the AB Show will ever return to NOLA due to its volatile crime scene. Several incidents were too close for comfort. All this to say, we’re fine and had a fantastic time tasting our way through the city.

New Orleans, or as the locals call it Naw-lins, is slightly above sea level, giving it a bowl-shaped topography. This marshy area is perfect for ancient live oak trees, swamps, and, my personal favorite, humidity. I arrived nearly healed from a cold/allergy issue, succumbed to the 80 degree, then 50 degree temps, and returned home with a mild case of laryngitis. Interestingly, this is typical when I’m around McK for extended periods of time. It’s a running joke now.

I digress.

The Food!

…was authentic. We tried gumbo, red beans & rice, jambalaya, boudin balls, chargrilled oysters, pralines (pronounced prah-leans), many beignets (pronounced ben-yays), a meatery board (I nearly don’t want to discuss this at all), and, in typical fashion, all the coffee.

We also caught up with work friends and many new acquaintances.

From Bourbon St. to Canal St. and all the way to Matairie to meet a famous food blogger (check out Blaine’s), we explored the city without boundaries. Maybe we return, maybe we don’t. But the memories last a lifetime.

enjoying a dinner of chargrilled oysters at Drago’s

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I ask you –

Have you been to New Orleans?

If so, what is your favorite, traditional food there? Beignets, absolutely.

Tell me your thoughts on a city that has seen the best and worst times.

(The post The Big Easy first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)