Guest Post – My Biological Other Half

Rep’ing our respective businesses, circa 2018

Some may know I have a twin sister. Now you all do. Brandy was born 1 minute prior to myself. To hear our mother tell it, the timing was much closer together, but our birth certificates read 7:58am and 7:59am, respectively, so we have no choice here. Don’t think for a minute…let the jokes begin…I don’t give her hell for me being the youngest. I know it isn’t her fault; she’s my sister, I do what I want.

(Herein referred to as) Bran has 2 beautiful babies, now 14 and 12. Let’s not get technical; those are her babies. She’s successful in the design and printing business. And she can speak so directly sometimes you’ll think she has drill sergeant tendencies. {Update: this post is nearing 2 years old. Those “babies” are almost 16 and 14 now.}

Growing up, Bran and I played volleyball together. However, our first sport love was badminton. We’d play for hours in our front yard, until one of us got too mad at the other or we wore holes in the rackets. Sometimes this happened simultaneously. Truth be told, Bran and I are just about as opposite as can be. Blonde/brunette. Artistic/left-brained. Loud/quiet. Ok, so the last one is a lie. We’re both loud. I still find it funny we were often confused with the other until adolescence. Sure, as babies we were much more alike, but nowawadays, standing beside each other, clearly we’re related. You’d most likely guess sisters, but probably never believe twins.

Below is a short synopsis of our conversations together, written in real time, while utilizing video chat so I can type faster than she speaks – maybe we are more alike than I thought:

Me (K): How do you feel about having a twin? B: I’m actually really proud of it, I think it’s an awesome thing, I get excited when I meet other twins because it’s kind of a rare thing. It’s pretty neat.

K: What are your favorite memories of us? B: (laughing) (lots of laughing) I wish you would’ve sent me these ahead of time so I could have time to think! (cuckoo clock goes off – more laughing) (we discuss how to spell cuckoo) There’s so many! When we would go out on Friday and Saturday nights. Remember when we would take turns driving and we’d make the other person who hadn’t done their makeup be the passenger when we’d go to school? Remember the time the pasture caught on fire and you asked me how to dial 911? (K: (laughing) I was hoping you wouldn’t say that one! I felt like such an idiot!) (more laughing) The time Kenneth (our step-dad) was riding a bicycle and you ran into the glass doors. (Side note: I almost broke my face.) Let’s see. I remember the way you were bound and determined to be there when Stacey was born and then you stayed with me for like a month and half. And I kept telling you “you can go home, you can go home!” When we were younger and we jumped hay bales in that old barn. I remember when Brian (our younger brother) and I talked you into jumping off the top of the stairs and you hit the coffee table and had to go get stitches? (Me: laughing but it’s not funny). You had your arms out like you could fly. (Bran is now losing her sh*t laughing imagining the song “I Believe I Can Fly”) (Me: (also laughing) this isn’t that funny) (B still laughing like this is the funniest thing she’s ever said) I was not amused.

K: Do you cook well? What about baking? (lots of laughing) I can bake! And I can cook. What? What more is there to that? (Side note: this is my way of getting back at her because we both know she can’t cook well!)

K: Remember the time you poured 1 cup of molasses in the cookies instead of the recipe-directed 1 tablespoon? B: No, I don’t remember that. (K: Of course you don’t!) I really don’t remember. Me and you used to cook all the time. And we would bake all the time. They pretty much just turned us loose and we could do whatever we wanted in the kitchen. I really don’t remember that! (referencing the molasses incident) It was that old cookbook, wasn’t it? The Betty Crocker cookbook? (K: Yes, I still have a Betty Crocker cookbook.) They’re not really the same anymore but close enough.

K: Volleyball or badminton? B: Volleyball. We had really good memories playing volleyball. K: We did.

K: Is it true I was so outspoken that you didn’t have to speak for a long time because I did all the talking? (laughing) B: Yes! I tell everybody about that!

K: What’s it like being my sister? Difficult at times? B: (shaking head) I wouldn’t say difficult. Even if we have disagreements, we still talk to each other. Just because we have that bond. We get mad at each other and we disagree but we still depend on each other. Maybe depend isn’t the right word but it…we still like to talk to each other. And when stuff happens, I still think I need to call her and tell her about this. Even if we’re mad. She’ll tell me advice and listen to me. At least that’s how I feel. (K: I agree!)

K: Tell the readers about the difficulties and triumphs being a single mom. B: Oh Lord, now you’re really getting into it. It’s not easy for sure. Ummmm, I guess in my case it was a little different because (coughing) I had done it by myself mostly the whole time so it wasn’t really hard to do, it was just the adjustment for the kids and how they would adjust to it. In fact, when we came to VA to see ya’ll for the first time, that was the first time me and the kids had done something, just me and them. When we came home, it was like a really big triumph for me because I had never taken just the kids and done something with us. Before it was me and Ben (Stacey and Garrett’s father) and I relied on that. It was a huge boost because I did it by myself. I mean the kids were older, they weren’t tiny babies, but I’m one of those moms who visualizes everything that could go wrong and I was like what if airport security says ma’am these are not your kids and tries to take them (laughing). Ummmm. (pause while I check a text). I guess the hardest part was just the adjustment to it and explaining to the kids why I did what I did.

K: Advice for others? B: My biggest one would be as a mom you have to take care of yourself at the same time. You can’t put yourself off. You’ve got to have that time where you can take care of you. Even if you feel guilty, you have to say ok, you find something you like to do and you take the time to do that and you give your body time to rest. Mine would’ve been when the kids were gone on weekends with their dad and I would take time to do what I wanted – clean the house, whatever, read the book, crochet, that was my thing. You have to have that time for yourself.

K: Your weight has fluctuated through the years. What do you think is the biggest barrier in maintaining consistency? B: For me, it’s always been my will to do it. After the kids were born, I wasn’t worried about it and I didn’t care. When I did lose weight, I did it because I wanted to. When I gained the weight back, it was because I wanted to. It’s your will to do it. Now, I’m back down to where I was, again, so…that wasn’t…I lost my appetite and when I went to the doctor recently I had lost 20 lbs but that was stress. As I sit here and eat a sausage biscuit out of the microwave (laughing).

K: Activities you enjoy doing? B: (chewing) I like to crochet. I like reading books.

K: How do you think a history of depression and/or anxiety affects the ability to be healthy? Mental health? B: This really goes back to taking care of yourself. I didn’t notice what was going on with myself before I resumed taking medication. I was crying, didn’t want to talk or be around anybody. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. And, I told (B’s best friend)…she realized ok Brandy this is what it is…I wasn’t eating, sleeping, I just wanted to sit here and go to work, nothing more…she was the one who said Brandy you have to go to the doctor, you have to do something. It really goes back to taking care of yourself. You have to stop and look…(the friend said) you make a goal and I’m going to overcome this…and if you take the medication for the rest of your life that’s ok. The doctor explained depression and anxiety is like a short in your brain and your body doesn’t receive the correct message. And it’s something, like mine, I’ve been off and on medication since Stacey was born and some people don’t have that, some people are on it for their whole lives and there’s nothing wrong with that. You have to do what’s best for you to take care of 2 kids and…life. One time, a doctor, I didn’t realize what was wrong with me, when I started talking to her about how I didn’t want to leave the house with my kids because we’d be in a wreck or someone would try to kidnap my kids. I thought everybody had those thoughts. With her, I’d go back every month. I’d try to put the kids in the car and drive to the end of the driveway. I had to be on the medicine and overcome my fears. I thought this was normal (being scared) but it’s not.

K: For people who deal with these things, how does that affect their overall health? B: Exercise and going for a walk would be an awesome thing. It’s the endorphins that stimulate your brain. (still eating her biscuit) (cuckoo clock chimes 11am, lots of laughing)

K: Further discussion on people who want to lose weight, get healthier, etc – how do you think people can accomplish this? B: Dedication and will because people make time for what they want. They go before work, after work; it’s a will to want to do it (to make change).

As I’m finalizing this writing and we’re recapping what I’ve written, Bran says “I’ve always wanted my name and Betty Crocker’s name published in the same article!”

This kind of banter is our life.

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I ask you –

Any questions you want me to ask Brandy? I promise she’ll answer!

Cookie Conundrum

Not sure why it’s a conundrum because there’s really no problem with the amount of cookies I eat. The problem exists when I run out!

No one: Man can not survive on cookies alone!

Kel: Challenge accepted!

Must be no secret how much I love baked goods.

A lovely member brought me this strawberry cupcake

Weekend activities:

Chocolate Sheeth Cake (don’t knock my spelling, there’s a story behind this)

Even the Munchkin gets in on the action. She’s a super helper!

More evidence of addiction.

I love to run. Most people know that about me. Truth is, I have to run. Because I like to eat cookies. I don’t have a problem!

It’s that balance we’ve spoken about. I balance cookies with a 60% keto, 30% active lifestyle. The other 10%? Reserved for baked goods. Sometimes the scale tips one way or the other and I fall off the wagon for a short time. Inevitably I get back on. Begrudgingly. Complaining the whole way. But I do it! And life is good for awhile. Until that craving hits me again. You’d think all the getting up/falling off would knock some sense into me.

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I ask you –

What’s your comfort food of choice?

Baked goods…yay or nay?

Thoughts on practicing mindful eating? (look it up)

Did. Not. Finish. (COMPLETE)

Actual IG Post several days post-run

DNF might be the toughest words for any runner to bear. When you pour your heart and soul into a training cycle: modify nutrition, beg your family to understand why you must run 10 miles on the weekend, and then get up at the ass crack of dawn for the event, it can be a huge letdown when the race doesn’t go as planned.

Heat exhaustion is defined as “…a condition whose symptoms may include heavy sweating and a rapid pulse, a result of your body overheating. It’s one of three heat-related syndromes, with heat cramps being the mildest and heatstroke being the most severe.” Complications of heat exhaustion include nausea, vomiting, dehydration, and muscle weakness. Or you could just pass the f*** out. I’ll take option E for $500, Alex! Better yet, I’d like to double my money and add the first 4 to it, as well!

Allow me to paint a pretty picture for you. There I was, valiantly running along when all of a sudden I was struck with muscle cramps, passed out, and came to in a medical tent. Not exactly. The warning signs had been with me since mile 1 of the 13.1 mile race. Running in the humid environment of Virginia Beach, VA on Labor Day weekend already had its challenges but I had trained for the heat and humidity. Really. I had! Alas, it wasn’t my day.

Mile 1 included “side stitches” aka muscle cramps. Honestly, probably every runner has experienced these during training so it wasn’t a big deal to me. When I had to walk at Mile 2, I knew something was off but I told myself it was just nerves. I had run this event at VA Beach the year prior so I knew the course, but I get nervous about nothing sometimes. I continued to drink Gatorade and water at each water stop (approx every 1.5 miles). The cramps weren’t dissipating but I would run until it became unbearable then walk until the cramps subsided. Mile 3 began an incredible headache. Literally. My head felt like it was exploding with every step. I remembered at this time that my dad had experienced a heatstroke many years ago and he kept mentioning how his head hurt so bad. So what did I do? Shrug it off and keep going.

Miles 4-8 are a blur. I can’t recall much of them except stopping to get a drink and soaking wet towels to wrap around my neck. It felt incredible – the cold water dripping down my back. My clothes were a wet mess, but I realized I wasn’t sweating at all. Hello, dangerous! I was vaguely aware at this moment that something was very wrong but I told myself once I reached the finish line I would seek medical attention. But the finish line never arrived. There’s a photo of me walking extremely slowly between Mile 11 and Mile 12. It’s an overhead shot where runners are about to enter the VA Beach Boardwalk. I have no recollection of this part of the race. At approximately Mile 12, I remember sitting down on the boardwalk and a woman approaching me to ask if I needed help. I suppose I said yes, maybe I didn’t answer at all, but I came to with a nice medical support officer leaning over me and asking if I could stand. I realized I was laying on the bricks of the boardwalk, confused and shivering. The paramedics picked me up, laid me on the gurney, and put me in an ambulance.

I’d never ridden in an ambulance before. Quite possibly I’d never even seen inside an ambulance. You could say I’m fortunate. During the ride to the medical pavilion, the paramedic asked me a bunch of questions I don’t remember answering and he attempted, unsuccessfully, to start an IV. I recall apologizing profusely for shaking so badly I was trying to grasp his leg in an effort to hold my arm still for the IV insertion. The joke is I’d be a terrible drug user, but maybe it won’t be received well – so I’m sorry. Some hours later, after being pumped full of fluids, both via IV and drinking 2 huge bottles of Gatorade, the decision was made to release me with instructions to follow up with my own doctor ASAP.

In all this, I have beaten myself up for allowing the heat to get the best of me, both emotionally and physically. Statistically, those who have suffered from heat exhaustion and heatstroke are at a much higher risk of experiencing these events again. With my own history of health issues, it’s agreed I no longer run in the heat. Over 80 degrees outside? No thank you, I’ll pass. Obviously humidity plays a large role in the real feel temperature so that’s accounted for when making a decision to train outdoors. I lost about 8 lbs of fluid that day; insane, right? Recovery was an uphill battle.

Even crazier, I had scheduled VA Beach as the first half marathon in my line of 3 subsequent halfs: Sep – VA Beach; Oct – Crawlin’ Crab; and Nov – Norfolk Harbor Half. I knew I had only a few weeks between VA Beach and the next race. Emotionally, the race in October was a test. I was figuratively running scared; afraid the heat (still hot but had cooled down some) would force me to cancel or not finish the race. I hadn’t trained much since VA Beach because I needed to focus on re-gaining the weight I had lost and maintain hydration. Crawlin’ Crab went well and in November I hit the PR I had been working so hard to attain. Did it all end well? Yes. But it was certainly a rocky road getting there!

Moral of the story: keep pushing unless it’s a battle of your health and your ability to finish an event. Know the signs of heat exhaustion and get help early. Please don’t wait until it’s too late…and you never know when late is too late. I knew all the markers, but kept pushing and stubbornness is not always a virtue. I’m thankful to the lady whom I’ve never met who recognized my silent distress, as well as the medical personnel for their efforts. We pay a lot of money to run races – some of it goes to the emergency warriors who help those of us in need. In my opinion, they deserve more because you just don’t know when you’ll be in need of their expertise.

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I ask you –

Have you had a scary experience during a race?

Tips on staying hydrated?

What was the last event you completed?

Upon My Demise, Grant Me These Wishes

WARNING: Dark post today. If you have ill feelings regarding the day you depart this world, please skip. Also, if you have any problems with dark humor and/or laughter associated with a grievous time, then, again, please skip. It is not my intention to offend. However, for some of my loyal followers, right now you’re clapping gleefully, impatiently awaiting this true masterpiece of a post. I’m sending you a virtual curtsy. You’re welcome.

It’s virtually impossible to speak of death without paying homage to life and health. Clearly, Kel. I understand many times what brings people into my workplace can be a very real possibility of facing their own mortality sooner than expected. Tears and words of affirmation encompass our conversations and I always share how happy I am they’ve made a decision to change their life. That first step across the threshold can literally be the difference between life and death.

In prefacing this post with the above words, now I share my humor. There is nothing funny about death or dying or someone being fearful for their own life. Nothing. What is funny to me is the litany of mistakes I’ve made during these discussions with friends that really has resulted in me establishing a bit of a bad reputation for inappropriate humor. Sam, if you’re reading this, I’m still so very sorry. Truly I should have lost friends for not being supportive in their times of need. In my defense, a simple misunderstanding or unclear communication (or both) have been the culprit. But I would be lying if I didn’t blame myself for not being able to adequately control my own laughter. Brittney H., I’m sorry, too. It really is a common part of my life. Death and laughter. It’s been happening consistently since I was 10 years old. Dad, broken record here, I’m sorry again. In case you’re still wondering, I wasn’t laughing when laughter was expected. Oh no, that would be too easy. I am a laugher at the most inopportune time.

Please have a seat and bear with me –

It all started in 1996.

Yikes. That’s a lot of years. You do the math, but it would appear I have a serious problem. An epidemic at the very least. A chronic condition of laughter. I thought laughter was the best medicine. I was….shhhhh…wrong. Haha! I’m not wrong! Laughter is the best medicine still. I stand by my opinion.

After a long and fruitful life, I’d like a few things to be remembered about me. 1) I love cookies. 2) I have the worst sense of humor. 3) I never knew what I was doing, but I had a great knack for winging it and it all working out.

Now, a few things I’d like you all to do for me at my service (oh do I have a surprise for you all! just wait! to whom is in the know – it might single-handedly be the best idea ever): 1) Please remain seated. I don’t need any of that get up/sit down/get up again nonsense. I understand respectfulness. I’m expired. No respect expected. Just wave at my family.

2) I’d like every other song to be an inappropriate song of the most inappropriateness. Example: play some Silver Wings because I think it’s a beautiful song, then play Baby Got Back because I loathe that song and it would make my best friend the happiest person alive. I’d also like it to be sing-along style so you all have to participate. Dance, too. When my twin sister (did I ever mention there’s 2 of me? no? ok, I’ll rectify this situation asap) glares at you all with her old lady eyes, dance even more inappropriately and stare back at her. It will be hilarious. Trust me. If you need other song choices, please play The Dance by Garth Brooks, then play Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman. I also would like Sunshine by Steve Azar and Ulay, Oh by How I Became the Bomb. Please follow these with Alone by Halsey and some terrible dance soundtrack from the 90s, like the Macarena. Towards the end, play some old Phil Collins, Genesis, or Foreigner, but remove the lyrics so we can see how many people still know the words.

3) Someone has to read my prepared autobiography. It can’t be my Munchkin – I will most likely embarrass her traumatically. I’ll highlight the portions to read. It will probably be lengthy. Lengthy is an understatement at this point. Can you imagine what it will look like in 10 years! All the more reason to be sitting. Bring water, too. Or wine. Can’t have you dehydrated. The remainder of the book will be for sale at the door; all proceeds benefit the Children’s Aid Society of West Texas, Inc. and the Autism Society.

Hmmmm what else? For now, this list will do. I’ll expand it as life carries me down the road. Stay tuned and feel free to chime in with your own ideas!

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I ask you –

Do you, too, have a dark sense of humor?

How do you feel about karaoke?

Favorite charities or benefactors and why?

Eggs and Butterflies

Couldn’t have taken a better photo myself!

I’ve had a breakthrough of proportions even I cannot fully fathom. It’s that touchy-feely stuff society says we shouldn’t address in mixed company; to be kept behind closed doors. Just this morning I turned a broken egg into a butterfly.

I envision mine scattered along a tile floor, but hay works, too

Beyond science, this probably isn’t possible. Metaphorically, anything is possible! And when you give someone the power to change their own life, impossible begins to mean you just haven’t had success yet. Not yet. And this is how I created butterflies from cracked eggs.

Mental imagery is important. Much like the internal jukebox always playing a catchy tune, what we see in our own minds defines us. A Rorschach Ink Blot of the subconscious, if you will. Providing someone tools to deal with life’s nuances is a gift of the few. I’m always amazed at how easy it is to solve another’s problems without taking a realistic look at our own. Raising my hand high. On a never ending path to self-discovery, compassion, forgiveness, boundaries, and self love are just a few stepping stones.

While driving home just last night, I began a popular audio book, Girl, Wash Your Face. As told by the author, this is her story of overcoming feelings of not being good enough not only in her marriage and personal life, but also as a mother. She immerses herself into work because that’s where she feels her true success and accomplishments lie. 3 chapters in I quickly realized she gets me! You mean I’m not alone?!? Clearly not because this book is now a bestseller. You may recognize another of her books, titled Girl, Stop Apologizing. Next on my list.

Ok, we get it, Kel; but what does all this mean? And where are the butterflies? In short, the butterflies are what you’re letting go of. Be it negativity, heartache, trauma, or the young person you once were; it must be examined, forgiven, and transformed. You don’t have all the answers. You’re not expected to! The only person expecting you to know everything is you. It’s ok when you don’t. Join the club. Health and wellness are more than what the scale tells you, more than how much you can lift, more than the miles you traverse in your favorite running shoes, more than the calories consumed. Being “well” is all parts of you functioning on the same level for the long term. It’s asking for help…being as compassionate to yourself as you are to your best friend…falling apart and picking the pieces back up.

I picked up an almost broken egg from an egg carton, placed it in my special box, and butterflies flew out. No, I’m not having a mental break. I’m turning the pages oh-so-slowly between a strong body and a strong mind. A quiet mind. One where I understand how unstoppable I am. There will be more eggs in varying stages of crackedness I must address. It’s tough saying goodbye to what we’ve known for so long; however, for now, I will relish in my ability to simply let go.

Add a touch more yellow to my butterfly – much like a Transformer

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I ask you –

Favorite metaphors?

Do you even eat eggs?

Thoughts on the difficulty of merging body and mind?

Nutrition and That Scary “D” Word

You know what I think of every time I see someone step on the scale? Of course you want to know! I think about rushing over to them to say the scale is broken and you’re reading it wrong. It really says “STRONG”. It doesn’t state a number. It says “STRONG”. Nothing more, nothing less. When Munchkin steps on the bathroom scale and asks me what it says, I tell her “strong”. Proud Mama moment: when she asked me to get on the scale and she proudly proclaimed it too said “strong”, then she said we were the same. You’re right, my baby love. We are the same. And we are STRONG!

D.I.E.T. aka the scary D word. According to Merriam-Webster (the word definition guru), a diet is “the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats”. I prefer to disregard the verb ‘dieting’ or similar terminology like ‘going on a diet’. What I eat every day is my diet. It’s not something I go on or complete.

Especially for females, the pressure is high to live our lives according to a number – either on the scale or a size category of clothing. However, men are not immune to this thought process. Value is placed on how big or small we are perceived or even perceive ourselves. It makes it difficult to raise an impressionable young Munchkin. I read an article about a mother who didn’t know what to say when her daughter loudly proclaimed someone was fat. The young mother did the best she could in saying everyone has fat, but it doesn’t mean someone is fat. Body positivity starts so early. I won’t dwell on the issues of body shaming because I also believe in sticks and stones but our tiny humans deserve a life free of insecurity based on something that can’t be controlled. Run free, boys and girls! Enjoy your boundless energy. I’ll just be over here sulking. And tired.

Nutrition requires one to navigate the roller coaster known as balance. 70/30. 80/20. Pick a balance that works for you. 70-80% of your time should be healthy choices so that 20-30% of the time you can enjoy life. Birthday cake happens. Did I mention I love cake? Eating out with friends happens. It’s perfectly normal and expected! Live your life! Just know tomorrow will be here before you know it. That’s when it is time to step back on the wagon. Tomorrow will come. Who’s idea was that anyway?!

You know what’s funny about the photo above? 1) I accidentally brought Munchkin’s knife with me. You know, the one with no sharp end and an extra short handle. That knife. 2) It looks picturesque…but it’s a lie. What you don’t see is the pizza I had for lunch. I’m sharing with you the healthy meal of the day, not the one where I threw caution to the wind.

Balance, remember?

We’re going to live our lives the only way we know how: by putting one foot in front of the other. No one said it would be easy. Where’s that manual they said would come with my life? Has anyone seen it? Each day, I do my best to find a balance between a previously unhealthy relationship with the scale and food and making sure life doesn’t get in the way of having fun. Ultimately, food should be fun!

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I ask you –

What’s your honest opinion of living a life of balance? Is it attainable or a fairy tale?

What did your last meal consist of?

Any ideas on how to cut chicken with a dull knife?

Connection of Compassion

Compassion can be found anywhere

Recently, I had a powerful conversation with a very important woman in my life. The discussion centered on self-compassion and finding forgiveness. We also touched upon the saying “no one sin is worse than another”. Not to worry, I won’t be delving into religion on this blog, because religion starts wars and I’m not much for confrontation.

As life is not black and white, I’m truly a master of shockery here, aren’t I?, it is more than fitting we find the connection between our emotional selves and our physical selves. There will be times when your world is turned upside down and finding time for yourself is a puzzle of a million pieces. Lately it’s been like this for me, too. At one point I realized I couldn’t remember the last meal I’d eaten, but I knew for sure it was more than 24 hours ago. You see, it’s too easy for me to fall into a pattern of forgetting to take care of myself. One more task leads to another…another…and here we start a cycle of behavior. Will you catch me saying no I can’t take on another task? Of course not; and that’s my downfall.

I want to work out today. I’ve had this great leg workout planned for days and bouncing between two clubs, both Las Colinas and Roanoke, has been hard mentally. My mind drifts to all the things I need to be doing: paperwork, update something, call people, etc. Juggling tasks comes easy. Adding myself in there does not. So here I am, tea and almonds beside me, snacking to alleviate the hunger issue and typing to enjoy me time. Writing is obviously me time. And I get paid to do it. Win!

one of THOSE weeks

Compassion is finding forgiveness and understanding not only in others but also in yourself. Bad days happen. Here is where it gets a little gray. How do we forgive ourselves for not completing the proverbial self to-do list? I really don’t have that answer. Pardon me for letting you down. Truthfully, I’m still finding it out on my own. Today’s fantastically planned leg workout may not happen. I have to accept that and make plans for tomorrow or the next day or even Monday. Practice compassion, Kel. The woman I mentioned above said it will come easier the more I practice forgiving myself. Today…I may have to accept not getting it all done. That workout will still be waiting for me tomorrow. Anytime Fitness is 24/7 for me. There’s a constant in this life we can always count on: change.

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I ask you –

Do you struggle making time for yourself?

What often gets pushed off your own to-do list?

Advice for those of us struggling to make time for ourselves?

Music and Curse Words (maybe together…maybe not)

All the best medical journals swear by cursing. See what I did there. Hilarious, Kel! But I’m serious. Did you know there are health benefits to cursing? Although I can’t advocate cursing in a professional atmosphere, there is a time and place to successfully incorporate cursing into your life. If you so choose. I do choose!

Perhaps surprisingly cursing may be responsible for pain relief: a very real aspect of creative language. According to some medical professionals, swearing activates the fight or flight reflex which dulls our pain receptors. However, before you go around swearing up a storm, there is one caveat to the pain relief effects. Those who swear regularly become desensitized to the words used; therefore, true pain relief benefits are mostly noticed in those who don’t curse much, if at all. Well d**n. I still believe in mind over matter though so I will continue to believe this works and use curse words strategically in my conversations. Not to worry, boss, I am a well-controlled curser.

Next topic: Music.

Researchers have found listening to fast-paced music can increase a runner’s ability to complete a run. Music also benefits brain receptors in those dealing with depression and stress and sleep issues. There’s even music therapy as a tool for pain management! Music is literally the soundtrack of our very lives. Haha see, I did it again! Think back to any moment in your life. Most likely you’ll be able to correlate a particular song, beat, or tune to that event. There’s a reason break up playlists exist. Turn on the radio and you can quickly identify an event in your life that corresponds to a song. A previous co-worker describes it as a “jukebox in her head”. It rotates not by how many quarters you insert, but by what’s going on at the moment.

Interestingly, a name does exist for when a song is on repeat in your mind. Earworms. Yes, that’s the fancy word for it; no, I did not make it up. The scientific term is Involuntary Musical Imagery (INMI). Some believe it is essentially our brain singing. Don’t tell me you don’t think that isn’t cool. Related, the most common type of personality to get earworms are those who exhibit neurotic and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Joke’s on you!

What my mind looks like – jumbled pages of music

So where does all this leave us? With this gem –

Listening to music with curse words in it or songs that make us curse (not in an aggressive way) must be the next big hit! 3rd time in a blog post – Kel, wow! Soon enough I’ll have some extra letters behind my name and this will be my starring role! I invented the premise behind all health and wellness by giving the advice of listening to songs that make us swear. Ta-Da!

According to my co-workers and members, these songs are easiest to get stuck in your jukebox, just based on one line: remember to sing these as you read through so we don’t suffer alone

I would walk 500 miles!

What is love?

Shot through the heart!

_____________________________

I ask you this –

Are you plagued by earworms?

Do you overall enjoy faster or slower-paced music?

Cursing – yes or no?

Why Do I Need That?

Clearly not my bag – it’s not large enough

What’s in your gym bag? Please tell me you read that line in the Capital One commercial voice. The must haves. The essentials. The stuff. Ugh. All the stuff. Do you really need anything in your bag? Do you need a bag at all? In short, yes, but there’s much more to it.

An often overlooked first tip is finding the right gym bag. Breathable materials allow odors to mix with fresh air preventing the mildew-y smell of nightmares. And if your bag is washable then problem solved! Manager tip: place a few dryer sheets in the bottom of your bag to keep it smelling nice. Adjustable shoulder straps, as well as number of pockets, are also good to examine.

Basic gym bag essentials range from the common…hello, deodorant….to the indulgent…roller ball, anyone? I’m not judging. There were times in the Navy when I had to choose between sleep or a shower. It seemed my division was much more cooperative when I’d slept so that should answer your question. Here’s a rundown of the most useful items to bring to the gym –

Towel – NECESSITY. PLEASE!
Flip Flops – do I really have to explain why shower shoes are necessary?
Dry Shampoo – because a Hollywood shower in a gym bathroom is rude
Hand Sanitizer – did you know your hands harbor more bacteria than a public toilet seat?
Hair Thingies – this is a scientific term, trust me
Deodorant – travel size is available, but regular size is cheaper
Face Wipes – an effective substitute for a shower
Socks – for some reason, dry feet have the power to make or break your entire day
Snacks – munchkin will be 25 yrs old, moved out, and have her own family and I’ll still carry around snacks because you just never know
Water Bottle – ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! Go green, people. You’re always telling me you recycle, so why do I keep finding plastic bottles in the regular trashcans versus the blue recycling container? Hmmmm

Obviously this is a short list. SHORT?! It can be as extravagant or as minimal as you desire.

As you can see in the photo above, I have many of the items from the list. There’s also unmentionables and random sticky notes for stuff I was trying to remember. You just never know when a good idea will hit!

I think of a gym bag much like a diaper bag. There will be times when it’s not necessary. Then there will be other times when you wish there was a department store inside it. I envision a Mary Poppins-style scenario. Umbrella, anyone?

_________________________________

I ask you –

What’s in your bag?

Name one thing at the gym you can’t live without.

Advice for a gym bag carrier?

Body after Baby

Do you have young children? Infants? Toddlers? Or are your children in their teens, twenties, grown up and moved away? Do you keep telling yourself it’s time to get rid of the baby weight?

Boy do I have good news for you!

The answers to all your problems is in this little bottle! Vitameatavegamin! – huge I Love Lucy fan, check out “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” for the reason why 10% alcohol in a bottle of health supplements is a BAD idea. Find it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcZ9JZZRWM0

Truthfully, it doesn’t matter how old your children are – there is a never a better time to begin focusing on you than now. Right. Now. Yesterday has come and gone. But today is still an option! Tomorrow is a close second.

Some ladies will find it easier than others to get back in the gym, workout from home, balance motherhood with a new human you’re responsible for caring for until…whenever. And the rest of us? Hahahahaha! What is this balance you speak of? Munchkin is 3 and I think I just now got it kinda worked out! Way to go, Kel! Aside from your own internal cheering squad, it may be a long time (ahem, years; a decade even) before you come to the startling conclusion you are still in there, under the skin and muscle and bone, and maybe you’re pleased with the results you’ve attained. Or you may not recognize her at all. That’s ok! You’re doing a great job, Mama!

Fact: it can take up to 8 full weeks for your hormones to return to “normal” levels post-childbirth. Other fact: it could potentially be 18 years before the previous fact is accepted as fact. Maybe longer. I’m just guessing. So even if it’s been awhile since your baby wore diapers, the hormone swings can affect you just as much now as then.

Let’s talk about menopause. This must be everyone’s favorite subject, right? Perimenopause can occur as early as your mid-to-late 30’s. Oh great! The hormonal shifts during this time vary erratically and can affect your ability to lose weight, build muscle, and not yell at the dog. Many women complain of short-term memory problems or difficulty concentrating during this transition, too. Haha you thought it ended after you gave birth? Good try! Wait. Did it end? I can’t remember. My point, which I don’t entirely remember at this moment, is that your body will go through many changes post-baby. From pregnancy to birth, from postpartum to menopause, your body is constantly adjusting to shifts in weight, balance, and hormones – all responsible for how well (or not) you’re able to shape the body you have, as well as deal with stress. Final fact: Exercise is widely known to increase overall health and a sense of well-being. It positively affects your endorphins, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters. And feeling good is our goal!

In the meantime, let us help you get moving toward your goals. Be it weight loss, muscle-building, or training for an event, we’re here to help. I’ll even provide comedic relief when the sweat drips in your eyes and you fear blindness.

No one said it would be easy. Either category you’ve found yourself in, you’ve come to the right place. I feel your pain. I feel your disappointment. I feel your jaded hope. I also feel how you’re ready to change your life. I will be with you each step of the way. Note: if you’re one of the lucky few who have it all figured out, teach me your ways!

________________________________

I ask you –

How old are your children?

Fun fact: I’m a twin. There’s 2 of me! Any of you have twins in your family? Triplets? Quads?!

Have any advice for those experiencing perimenopause? You know, so I can be even more terrified than I am already.