“Self-discipline: the art of investing today’s actions for tomorrow’s results. Making yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you would like to have.” – The Traveler’s Summit (a fantastic book, highly recommend)
Waiting patiently for the jonquils to bloom. Typically they are in full glory around my birthday so just a few more weeks! It’s cherry blossom time in the Eastern part of the U.S. As they’re my favorite, I find them notable to include here.
A sweet gift from my beautiful friend! We haven’t met in awhile but as soon as the weather turned favorable we were outside walking…which prompted a partnership and more opportunities to walk and talk!
Could it be once you hit my age (sub-40), you just can’t expect to run without any pain?
Since early November, I’ve not run, not played volleyball, worn a brace, diligently gone to PT and practiced the exercises, included strength training as a staple to my routine, and began an ice rolling regimen. What more can I do?!
Perhaps daily activities sans pain is unrealistic. Perhaps this is the new norm. Perhaps I didn’t take adequate care of myself in yesteryears so I’m paying for it now. Whatever it is.
As the pain persists, there is concern of an unrealized issue. Good thing I haven’t replaced all my permanent jewelry yet because more scans might be in the near future.
As for Strava (in the photo above), it’s really very difficult to adequately increase my fitness level at such a time as this. For instance, it takes approximately 10 days at an average of 6 hrs per day to finish a dissertation chapter. And how do I know this? Because I just spent approximately 60 hours with a discipline I never knew I had, diligently writing. And writing. And writing some more.
Fortunately, there’s only 1 chapter remaining and I have 18 days to complete it. Fitness will just have to wait, but I wasn’t betting I could run anyway.
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I ask you –
Is no pain actually normal?
How do I get to that point?
Tell me about a time your discipline surprised you!
That’s what my knee feels like inside. A fireplace! Just when I think it’s gotten better or I haven’t noticed any pain, here it comes, out of the blue. Ready to wreck my day. 13 weeks of fireworks inside there. This is so much fun.
On the drive to the island, we stopped at the Czech Stop in West, Texas, home of the most amazing cinnamon roll I’ve ever had. The lovely employees warmed it up, handed it to me wrapped in wax paper, and gave us a stack of napkins. I inhaled it in about 0.79 seconds. I’m still thinking about that cinnamon roll.
You know those people who, just the very sound of their voice, makes you angry? I know one of them. In fact, my words are I’d rather cut the grass with my teeth than have a conversation with them. But you know what? So glad you asked. Here they come, trying to have conversations with me, ahem…need something. I’ve been known to walk the other direction, taking the looooong way home, to avoid conflict, I mean conversation. Grudge much.
Credit: C.S. Lewis
Grief is an interesting thing. It finally happened, the voice I had been waiting on, my very own Jiminy Cricket, if you will, spoke these words: Get Over It. Suddenly, I realized I had been living in anger the past few months, unwilling to accept it might still be grief. Sure, I said it on RoF, I was dealing with grief, but I hadn’t fully addressed it. It was shrouded in anger, anger never expressed, anger I believed would mask the grief. No, child. Not only did I experience the entirety of anger, but I still had to navigate grief, too. Seems unfair. If only I had recognized it for what it was, an additional emotion vice a substitute. 30 years is a long time to grieve. And an even longer time to hold on to anger.
Get over it, Kel. I did/am/will/continue to.
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I ask you –
Do you prefer real wood or the pre-made logs in your fireplace?
Which is the best: the middle or the outside of a cinnamon roll? Middle. Always.
As seen in a devotional, “…our human hearts and minds wander.” The premise was how our spaces tell a story of who we are, what we hold dear, and how best to utilize these spaces. As I have a full coffee bar in my office, I think it’s mostly clear.
After a particularly emotional day, a stranger told me I should give the equivalent of Ted talks to other women and mothers regarding some struggles. He believed I could write/share motivational stories, or even newsletters, to amass a following of people who need to hear how it is possible to overcome adversity. I was quite humbled by his words. Adding to my to-do list.
Reciprocate, not initiate. Not to be confused with the term “follower”. Recently, I read an Instagram post saying something to the effect that women step (metaphorically) after men do. In other words, a dance, so to speak, or a courtesy within norms of deferring to another, specifically, deferring to a leader in life, a leader of the home, a leader in the relationship. It was fascinating to consider how some believe the adage if you’re not a leader then you’re a follower. Words matter. Rather than perpetuating the old saying, if we reframe the words, then it more adequately explains the dynamics.
The past several weeks have been nonstop, and I fear I’m on the edge of burnout. Still waiting on ethics board approval so I’ve done little for my dissertation yet work and activities have monopolized my time and brain. I need a break.
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I ask you –
What story do your spaces tell of you?
Have the holidays been busy?
Share your thoughts on reciprocation vs initiation.
(The post Break Time first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Normally, I wouldn’t give a second thought to anyone else’s approval. That is until I started a PhD. Now, approval is the primary motivation within the process.
Finally, I received dissertation proposal defense approval! Never mind it was while I was on a work trip to New Orleans (separate post forthcoming), experienced significant technical issues, and felt like I was under attack. Despite all things. I was exhausted, half-unwell due to a lingering cold, overwhelmed with the requirements, and was experiencing numerous other small stressors. But I did it. Now, I await ethics board approval, then can begin the research portion.
The photo collage above is a minimal reenactment of my coffee intake pre- and post-proposal defense. Trust me there was much more not pictured. And, as I have several months to go, the more coffee consumed.
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I ask you –
How many cups of coffee do you drink per day?
How often do you have technical difficulties?
Tell me about your guilty pleasure when stressed!
(The post Approved! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Eating my way through San Diego, the land of beautiful people, fast drivers, and an overwhelming air of busy.
Allow me to present the evidence. On the left is a huge ice cream cone, filled with the loveliest I may have ever tasted. The establishment is called An’s Dry Cleaning. I also visited her other location, An’s Hatmakers. Unassumingly incredible.
Relatedly, on the right is the return of Blue Bell’s winter flavor, peppermint bark. I must try it.
Exhibit C is above. That beautiful drink is a salted caramel latte from Breakfast Republic. I also ordered one to go because I needed – needed! – another. There’s a food photo to go with this, but who really cares. The coffee was impeccable.
Also not pictured are the asada tacos from El Gordon’s, spicy chicken sandwiches from the Liberty Public Market, an unbelievable pastrami sandwich from Chris’s Liquor and Deli, a mouthwatering tri tip sandwich from Jensen’s, and, one of my favorites, the sushi at Sushi Deli. Ask me about those Shishito Peppers. Admittedly, I am a cheat. Long story.
Exhibit D is a rich, luxurious peanut butter beer, think Guinness meets peanut butter whiskey, found at Belching Beaver Brewery. It was great, even if it was so heavy. I tried a few others elsewhere, but this was definitely my favorite.
…Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you.
________________
I ask you –
Are you aware of any catchy establishments with misleading names?
It’s that time again – the one where I recycle a few older posts to support the time I need to recharge along the coastline. Hope you enjoy. I’ll be back soon! -Kel
A small voice calls to me from my sleep. Do you want coffee, Kel? Doesn’t matter that it’s 2am, 5am, mid-afternoon. I always answer yes. Short of labeling it an addiction, coffee is comfort. It’s my siren song.
In a vain attempt at creating coffee shop-worthy drinks, I made my own cold brew. Not half bad. However, the espresso beans were a bit past their shelf life so it turned out somewhat bitter. I still drank it. Then I ordered new beans.
Chicka D’s, of course
Also, I had a small issue with remembering to complete my fasted blood work so I was forced to reschedule which resulted in a nearly lunchtime appointment. Fasted. Starving. Not in a great overall mood. That particular day called for a third caffeinated beverage, mainly as a reward for not harming anyone.
I don’t know how some people do it. How do they survive without these magical beans? I never want to find out.
________________________
I ask you –
How much coffee do you drink per day?
Does the need for coffee ever wake you up?
Tell me about the last time you forgot an important appointment!
(The post They Beckon Me first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Can we talk about how the term catching feelings illicit the weirdest images in my head? For example, I see a man (always a man) running around the yard with a bucket in his hands waiting for butterflies to fall from the sky. What is “catching” feelings? How does one catch them? Isn’t it more of a choice? It’s just biology.
Can we also talk about how distraction disguised as self-care is not really caring for oneself at all? It is self-sabotage though. Distractions don’t make us feel better because we’re not identifying what our body/mind/soul really needs.
Case in point – after a particularly stressful encounter at work, I really wanted to disconnect for a few moments and escape. My go-to was to play on my phone and absentmindedly scroll. Instead (pretty proud of this one) I stopped and asked myself some questions…what are you feeling? what was the most challenging part of it? are you ok? do you feel safe? what do you need right now?
Believe it or not, I actively reflected on the experience and how I was feeling rather than avoiding thinking through it. It helped put into perspective my own thoughts and beliefs about what had just happened. Not once did I think I could have done something better and not once during the remainder of the day did I question my choices. For once, I didn’t let it get the best of me or let it control the day.
The real test is continuing this practice on days I’m more unaware of my stress levels. Challenging myself with questions related to self-care isn’t easy especially when I feel or think things are going well. Why even ask then? Because there’s always a feeling brewing under the surface and I like a good challenge.
Weekly report:
Wk 8: 23 additional pages
I would like to clarify though – 23 pages isn’t very accurate as the manuscript now includes many pages of feedback from last week’s chair review. The font is 9; alas, it does contribute to the high page count addition.
_________________
I ask you –
What term(s) do you use to describe when someone is developing feelings?
What is your go-to distraction method?
Tell me your thoughts on emotional analysis! Perhaps a bit tricky.
I made a pink lemonade creamsicle with Sugar free pink lemonade, Jordan’s Skinny Syrups coconut, heavy cream and ice. Amazing!
I like jelly beans. I don’t like Dunkin. Didn’t buy them but was considering it.
Still recovering from Air Show. My poor feet took a beating. Once the chronic pain returned, I could tell something wasn’t right. There’s extensive bruising under and around my pinkie toe, as well as a large swollen area under the toe, nearest the side of my foot. It’s non-weight bearing and, early on, was causing pain on the outside of my calf. What now? So, short of religious usage of ibuprofen and staying off it as much as possible because right I’m totally on top of that then here we are. Again.
Also trying red light therapy for mini’s skin issues, as well as testing its claims to be great for healing. We’ll see how it works out.
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I ask you –
Do you like creamsicles?
Have you ever tried red light therapy?
Tell me your favorite brand of jelly beans!
(The postMaking Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)
Yes. I bought it. Honestly, not their best work. The pieces of cake are delicious but the ice cream is plain vanilla. Not a huge fan.
I think about this sandwich more than I should. But it’s keto so not a big concern. It’s also amazing with just scrambled eggs, bacon, and avocado. Trust me.
Jada, Gia, Luli, me, and Jarrod
A team photo from the recent 5k. We had our largest turnout of participants probably in the history of installation fun runs.
Jumped on the permanent jewelry bandwagon. A huge thank you to our beautiful friend, Lyndsie, for the opportunity to get bracelets. If you come across Sacred Strands, you’re in for a treat!
Running on Fumes 
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