Break Time

As seen in a devotional, “…our human hearts and minds wander.” The premise was how our spaces tell a story of who we are, what we hold dear, and how best to utilize these spaces. As I have a full coffee bar in my office, I think it’s mostly clear.

After a particularly emotional day, a stranger told me I should give the equivalent of Ted talks to other women and mothers regarding some struggles. He believed I could write/share motivational stories, or even newsletters, to amass a following of people who need to hear how it is possible to overcome adversity. I was quite humbled by his words. Adding to my to-do list.

Reciprocate, not initiate. Not to be confused with the term “follower”. Recently, I read an Instagram post saying something to the effect that women step (metaphorically) after men do. In other words, a dance, so to speak, or a courtesy within norms of deferring to another, specifically, deferring to a leader in life, a leader of the home, a leader in the relationship. It was fascinating to consider how some believe the adage if you’re not a leader then you’re a follower. Words matter. Rather than perpetuating the old saying, if we reframe the words, then it more adequately explains the dynamics.

The past several weeks have been nonstop, and I fear I’m on the edge of burnout. Still waiting on ethics board approval so I’ve done little for my dissertation yet work and activities have monopolized my time and brain. I need a break.

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I ask you –

What story do your spaces tell of you?

Have the holidays been busy?

Share your thoughts on reciprocation vs initiation.

(The post Break Time first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Approved!

Normally, I wouldn’t give a second thought to anyone else’s approval. That is until I started a PhD. Now, approval is the primary motivation within the process.

Finally, I received dissertation proposal defense approval! Never mind it was while I was on a work trip to New Orleans (separate post forthcoming), experienced significant technical issues, and felt like I was under attack. Despite all things. I was exhausted, half-unwell due to a lingering cold, overwhelmed with the requirements, and was experiencing numerous other small stressors. But I did it. Now, I await ethics board approval, then can begin the research portion.

Below, from left to right: Cafe Bon Ami – Fourth Wall – French Truck Coffee

The photo collage above is a minimal reenactment of my coffee intake pre- and post-proposal defense. Trust me there was much more not pictured. And, as I have several months to go, the more coffee consumed.

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I ask you –

How many cups of coffee do you drink per day?

How often do you have technical difficulties?

Tell me about your guilty pleasure when stressed!

(The post Approved! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Making my way downtown…

…walking fast, the faces pass, and I’m homebound.

Name that tune.

Eating my way through San Diego, the land of beautiful people, fast drivers, and an overwhelming air of busy.

Allow me to present the evidence. On the left is a huge ice cream cone, filled with the loveliest I may have ever tasted. The establishment is called An’s Dry Cleaning. I also visited her other location, An’s Hatmakers. Unassumingly incredible.

Relatedly, on the right is the return of Blue Bell’s winter flavor, peppermint bark. I must try it.

Exhibit C is above. That beautiful drink is a salted caramel latte from Breakfast Republic. I also ordered one to go because I needed – needed! – another. There’s a food photo to go with this, but who really cares. The coffee was impeccable.

Also not pictured are the asada tacos from El Gordon’s, spicy chicken sandwiches from the Liberty Public Market, an unbelievable pastrami sandwich from Chris’s Liquor and Deli, a mouthwatering tri tip sandwich from Jensen’s, and, one of my favorites, the sushi at Sushi Deli. Ask me about those Shishito Peppers. Admittedly, I am a cheat. Long story.

Exhibit D is a rich, luxurious peanut butter beer, think Guinness meets peanut butter whiskey, found at Belching Beaver Brewery. It was great, even if it was so heavy. I tried a few others elsewhere, but this was definitely my favorite.

…Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you.

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I ask you –

Are you aware of any catchy establishments with misleading names?

What are your thoughts on peppermint bark?

Tell me your San Diego of food.

(The post Making my way downtown… first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-post: They Beckon Me

It’s that time again – the one where I recycle a few older posts to support the time I need to recharge along the coastline. Hope you enjoy. I’ll be back soon! -Kel

A small voice calls to me from my sleep. Do you want coffee, Kel? Doesn’t matter that it’s 2am, 5am, mid-afternoon. I always answer yes. Short of labeling it an addiction, coffee is comfort. It’s my siren song.

In a vain attempt at creating coffee shop-worthy drinks, I made my own cold brew. Not half bad. However, the espresso beans were a bit past their shelf life so it turned out somewhat bitter. I still drank it. Then I ordered new beans.

Chicka D’s, of course

Also, I had a small issue with remembering to complete my fasted blood work so I was forced to reschedule which resulted in a nearly lunchtime appointment. Fasted. Starving. Not in a great overall mood. That particular day called for a third caffeinated beverage, mainly as a reward for not harming anyone.

I don’t know how some people do it. How do they survive without these magical beans? I never want to find out.

________________________

I ask you –

How much coffee do you drink per day?

Does the need for coffee ever wake you up?

Tell me about the last time you forgot an important appointment!

(The post They Beckon Me first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Bucket o’ Butterflies

Can we talk about how the term catching feelings illicit the weirdest images in my head? For example, I see a man (always a man) running around the yard with a bucket in his hands waiting for butterflies to fall from the sky. What is “catching” feelings? How does one catch them? Isn’t it more of a choice? It’s just biology.

Can we also talk about how distraction disguised as self-care is not really caring for oneself at all? It is self-sabotage though. Distractions don’t make us feel better because we’re not identifying what our body/mind/soul really needs.

Case in point – after a particularly stressful encounter at work, I really wanted to disconnect for a few moments and escape. My go-to was to play on my phone and absentmindedly scroll. Instead (pretty proud of this one) I stopped and asked myself some questions…what are you feeling? what was the most challenging part of it? are you ok? do you feel safe? what do you need right now?

Believe it or not, I actively reflected on the experience and how I was feeling rather than avoiding thinking through it. It helped put into perspective my own thoughts and beliefs about what had just happened. Not once did I think I could have done something better and not once during the remainder of the day did I question my choices. For once, I didn’t let it get the best of me or let it control the day.

The real test is continuing this practice on days I’m more unaware of my stress levels. Challenging myself with questions related to self-care isn’t easy especially when I feel or think things are going well. Why even ask then? Because there’s always a feeling brewing under the surface and I like a good challenge.

Weekly report:

Wk 8: 23 additional pages

I would like to clarify though – 23 pages isn’t very accurate as the manuscript now includes many pages of feedback from last week’s chair review. The font is 9; alas, it does contribute to the high page count addition.

_________________

I ask you –

What term(s) do you use to describe when someone is developing feelings?

What is your go-to distraction method?

Tell me your thoughts on emotional analysis! Perhaps a bit tricky.

(The post Bucket o’ Butterflies first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Making Things

I made a pink lemonade creamsicle with Sugar free pink lemonade, Jordan’s Skinny Syrups coconut, heavy cream and ice. Amazing!

I like jelly beans. I don’t like Dunkin. Didn’t buy them but was considering it.

Still recovering from Air Show. My poor feet took a beating. Once the chronic pain returned, I could tell something wasn’t right. There’s extensive bruising under and around my pinkie toe, as well as a large swollen area under the toe, nearest the side of my foot. It’s non-weight bearing and, early on, was causing pain on the outside of my calf. What now? So, short of religious usage of ibuprofen and staying off it as much as possible because right I’m totally on top of that then here we are. Again.

Also trying red light therapy for mini’s skin issues, as well as testing its claims to be great for healing. We’ll see how it works out.

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I ask you –

Do you like creamsicles?

Have you ever tried red light therapy?

Tell me your favorite brand of jelly beans!

(The post Making Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(More) Photos with Minimal Explanations

Yes. I bought it. Honestly, not their best work. The pieces of cake are delicious but the ice cream is plain vanilla. Not a huge fan.

I think about this sandwich more than I should. But it’s keto so not a big concern. It’s also amazing with just scrambled eggs, bacon, and avocado. Trust me.

Jada, Gia, Luli, me, and Jarrod

A team photo from the recent 5k. We had our largest turnout of participants probably in the history of installation fun runs.

Jumped on the permanent jewelry bandwagon. A huge thank you to our beautiful friend, Lyndsie, for the opportunity to get bracelets. If you come across Sacred Strands, you’re in for a treat!

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I ask you –

Have you tried the Gooey Butter Cake?

Is there a food you’re currently stuck on?

Permanent jewelry: yay or nay?

(The post (More) Photos with Minimal Explanations first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Peace in your heart; Laughter on your lips

‭‭Isaiah 55:11 NIV‬‬
[11] so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The Scripture above is Jesus speaking; however, what if we spoke with this in mind, that each time words exited our lips, we fully understood our words have power to speak life, or death, over others. In a society saturated with people speaking and giving opinions, sharing with intentional life isn’t as prevalent as one would hope.

Lately, I’ve struggled with focusing on one task. I’ve been pacing, mind racing from one thought to another, unable to keep up with the flood of to-do’s. For a moment, I considered maybe this was a late life onset of ADHD. I’ve heard sometimes anxiety is mistaken as ADHD and vice versa – what if that was true for me. But I think I’m just feeling the magnitude of ending the preliminary portion of the dissertation process and considering what the next year will look like. Somehow it’s already here, what seemed impossible in 2022 is now in its final stage. It’s difficult to wrap my mind around that truth.

Focus, Kel. Trying to soak in all the things before writing takes me away from it is unfathomable. However, I did attend a game night where I managed to win at Rock/Paper/Scissors. First try, no less. Yes, I’m bragging. Funnily, when it comes to competition Rock/Paper/Scissors – I always win. No lie. Well….I’ve won 2 “competition-style” matches, if you will. The first was for a third martini flight which I absolutely should not have had, mostly because I was already 8 martinis in and definitely did not need 4 more. Consequently, I don’t remember much about that night except winning the game for another flight. Weird.

Any Way – focus, will you – I won a Starbucks gift card to fund my coffee and winning habit. Not a bad night. And, of course, my name tag says Parts. And, of course, hers said Spare Parts. Because all we do is laugh together.

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I ask you –

What does peace in your heart look like to you?

Have you ever been on a winning streak?

Tell me about your favorite game! Spoons.

(The post Peace in your heart; Laughter on your lips first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

(Some More) Favorite Things

Many of you know of my struggle with foot pain due to what has been attributed to bunions. In the quest to find supportive every day shoes that somewhat keep the pain to a minimum, I found Flux Footwear. Now I own 3 pairs: hot pink, black, and solid white. Huge fan! At first, I was a little uncomfortable about purchasing a pair of white shoes; however, so far, no catastrophes!

Also, I’ve developed a love for matte nail polish. Typically I do my own nails because my splurge is the pedicure. What I thought would look hideous turned out to be a favorite. As mini is a nail biter – and I also was as a child – keeping my nails painted aka protected is essential for their growth. Mini’s issue is she bites the paint right off of them. It’s a source of discontent but I have faith she’ll grow out of it. Probably.

Lastly, Gerber Daisies. Favorite flower. Just as many (including me) hold fast to traditions like black-eyed peas and cabbage on New Year’s Day, I also have my very own traditions. Although I can’t think of any at this moment. Nonetheless, here’s my newest: starting each new year with fresh flowers and what better flower than my absolute favorite?! I can’t stay up until midnight but I can wake up to a beautiful bouquet.

I know I had several other favorites to add to this post, but right now I can’t recall them. Another post for another day, surely.

__________________

I ask you –

What is your favorite shoe brand?

Any nail painters? Nail biters?

Tell me of your favorite flower or plant!

(The post (Some More) Favorite Things first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

They Beckon Me

Chicka D’s, of course

I don’t know how some people do it. How do they survive without these magical beans? I never want to find out.

________________________

I ask you –

How much coffee do you drink per day?

Does the need for coffee ever wake you up?

Tell me about the last time you forgot an important appointment!

(The post They Beckon Me first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)