Outtakes, episode 10 (in progress)

On my birthday weekend, Mini outdid herself! She ran a 5k with me, she finally showed up to help me with the short disciples, and she found a new bathing suit! All tougher than they look.

A whole photo shoot, courtesy of mini.

For 3.14, we celebrated Pie Day with a 5k and pie! Any excuse to eat pie is a good one in my book, so I didn’t need convincing. Mini chose blueberry pie, which we both enjoyed. She came in first in her age group…and now that I’m in a new age bracket (40-49) I also placed first in my age group!

The following week I managed 2 runs, twice as many as achieved nearly the entire month prior. Now, to keep the streak alive.

Not much for this post. Hope you all have an amazing day!

________________

I ask you –

If you like pie, what is your favorite? Aunt Mary Catherine’s blueberry pie.

(The post Outtakes, episode 10 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Cheers to 40 Years

Mini’s got jokes

When I tell you I thought the week leading up to 40 (not 50 as mini would have you believe) was difficult, even the word difficult doesn’t capture how trying it was.

I’d like to think I’m prepared for anything. But when a situation stops you dead in your tracks and you are forced to navigate your own emotions, moving away from those emotions is like falling without a parachute. Though I wouldn’t exactly know. Never could I be prepared for the adrenaline dump. It’s a moment like this I’m thankful for others who checked on me, who let me take a minute to breathe, who were gentle with me. Living should never be taken lightly. And asking the really really really hard questions is not for the faint of heart. My title isn’t free. It comes with a heavy cost and, although I’m living a career dream come true, the title is paid for in blood, sweat, and tears.

On a more lighthearted note, this cake makes the toughest days a little brighter.

Lemon blueberry cake, courtesy of Tanto

So do beautiful flowers –

Muse love

And the real reason for all the shenanigans –

Spare Parts and I

40!

She and I received so many messages, calls, texts, and a visit from her sweet grandbaby! Our families and friends made today extra special. If this is 40, I’m a big fan!

________________

I ask you –

Do you celebrate your birthday or is it just another day?

(The post Cheers to 40 Years first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 9 + Hobbies

For all my complaining the past few weeks about my helper moving on, away from me, the very next session included only 3 short disciples. And they weren’t even my own child! Just 3. Tres. All girls. It was chat time central that day.

lights are on, no one is home

The following weekend they bribed someone to help me. I’m convinced.

Once again mini-less and it was the wildest group ever. I even had to raise my voice once. Trust me, it’s not pretty when I do.

Next topic.

I like to play a little game called Mind Charades. It’s awful. Your brain tells you how many words, anywhere from 1 to 1 billion, you spend upwards of 1/2 the day trying to figure out the word(s), then completely forget what you were thinking so hard about remembering. Welcome to my life. It’s fun here.

Our local arts council has a workshop series titled “Granny Hobbies” and the snort which exited me would have made a farm animal proud. Can you imagine. The workshops include learning to crochet, acrylic painting, and other fun hobbies. I think I have a leg up, though, because my hobby is more self taught than classically trained – puzzling! Next month is my 40th birthday and my granny hobby is well underway!

Mini also has granny hobbies as evidenced by the amount of yarn and crochet hooks perilously perched on every surface. She comes by it honestly because Parts is also a granny, literally and figuratively. When did we become such hobbyists?

And on hobbies … drums, round 2 is going swimmingly! My skills are growing, I (try to) practice 2x/week, and I’m loving the new lessons. I’m sure it doesn’t help my mind charades when I constantly chant one-eeeh-and-uh, two-eeeh-and-uh, etc. As our lessons are being taught by someone with both classic training and self-taught principles, the mix is beneficial. Will I ever be the drum soloist I aspire to be? Eh, here goes nothing.

________________

I ask you –

Share your most recent experience with forgetfulness. If you can remember.

(The post Outtakes, episode 9 + Hobbies first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 8

Not our usual background, but we both love this color so much!

In a turn of events, the adult helper I’m usually paired with has decided she can’t stand me and has resigned from her position. It’s not you, it’s me. Kidding. Halfway. She has resigned, but assured me it was not my fault. Like all nice people would say. So it was just me, solo, alone, in the midst of wild children, again. Somehow we all survived because, if you will recall, serving solo has become a pattern.

To think people trust me with their children is surprising yet not. I worked with kids for a long time, and aren’t adults just oversized children anyway? Do you know what is difficult? Getting hired as an adjunct professor! Countless submissions, hours of searching – still nothing. Not a single hit. I’m not sure what the hiring committees are looking for, but I don’t have it (or I don’t know how to market it). I really underestimated the challenges of applying to teach.

Meanwhile, I’m keeping upwards of 13 young people alive, well, and engaged. Shouldn’t this count for something?

________________

I ask you –

Do you have any suggestions for professorship?

(The post Outtakes, episode 8 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Growing up, maybe with friends

Photo by Bu00fcu015fra u015e on Pexels.com

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I love this question, especially when it’s posed to adults at any stage in their life. A simple reminder not to take life too seriously. You can start again! And again! And again! It reminds me of a meme I cannot find at the moment where an adult says ‘no one asked me how fast I can run in my new shoes. This is BS! (baloney sandwich)’.

Side note. In my house, we say baloney sandwich for the (obviously) BS. Mini always replies with affirmation that she knows what it really means. At this point, I just say it for my own affirmation of her innocence. Denial, anyone?

Focus, Kel.

The hilarity of mentioning growing up to an adult has many giggle-worthy images. You can fill in your own blank.

Side bar. How to not make friends.

Step 1. Trauma-dump your life story within the first 2 encounters. Step 2. See step 1.

Just don’t! Also, don’t invade my personal space. Don’t capture my phone number from a well-meaning person. And, don’t invite me to meet your friends. I am sure they are lovely people, but if this is how you also met them…I have reservations.

I really need to work with mini on not blowing my cover. She’s the worst. Loudly, “hey mom, why are you avoiding them?!” Me: “Shhhhh!”

_____________________

I ask you –

What steps should others not take to become your friend?

(The post Growing up, maybe with friends first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fern Made Me Do It

Obviously written during Winter Storm Fern –

As we roll (ahem, slide) into another snow day, is this day 2 or 3?, I confront my own anxiety and fear. I have wished it away. I have sought spiritual intervention. I have pretended it does not exist. But, there is not enough anxiety medication at the nearest pharmacy to get me into a moving vehicle and out on ice/snow-covered roads. Alas, I stay at home, in the safety of my four walls. ‘Tis rather nice here and I’m still productive.

Besides, snow days are meant to keep people off the roads so safety and emergency personnel can do their job. I am supporting their mission! But I can’t help it. 6 days at home is a bit much.

On day 4, we considered unfolding the treadmill. Quickly vetoed, instead I paced the house for approximately 11,000 steps. On day 5, I forgoe’d the pacing, resolving to complete an actual workout the next day AND…dun dun dunnnnnn…go outside!

2 miles outside, dodging the slippery spots, was glorious! I didn’t want to come back inside. But there’s where the coffee lives.

Day 5, I completed a workout with mini. As in, she actually did the entire workout with me. Zero complaining. She tried very hard, she amazed me!

photo, at her request

Overall productivity: I cleaned up 7,914 old emails, I deleted all 11 voicemails, and I organized my teams folders. Now I can’t find anything.

Did I “enjoy” the long, long unexpected time “off”? Yes. Do I wish to do this again anytime soon? Not so much.

________________________

I ask you –

What was the most amount of time you’ve been home due to weather?

(The post Fern Made Me Do It first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 5

Mini joined me for a rousing room of 3 other participants, complete with a broken thermostat and much running.

An attempt to tame my curls came in the form of these little dinglehoppers, otherwise known as French horns. Ahem, French pins. And a partridge in a pear tree. Or the garbage can, which is where one went after I broke it. It lasted only a few hours in my hair. RIP, French horn. Also, the tutorial exploited its ease of use. It was not.

I was honored to be selected as a judge for lodging’s gingerbread house competition! When I asked for a taste test, I almost lost my judging rights. Next time.

Another week of leave is on the horizon. Ahem, now. There will be no gingerbread house creation. Instead, upwards of 75 degrees is forecasted. I have no doubt the winter weather will come soon though. Merry Christmas Eve!

_____________________

I ask you –

Have you ever eaten a gingerbread house post-decoration?

(The post Outtakes, episode 5 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 4 + A Special Introduction

My kid’s life partner, ahem, mini, ditched me in favor of sleeping in so I had to survive alone.

Good thing there were only 6 young people and I was somewhat familiar with the Hebrew language so as not to wildly mispronounce every word. A few, but not all of them.

The Big Reveal

Our home has succumbed to the pressure. We will forever live the holidays in the shadow of an elf. Yes, that elf. I have been content watching other homes overtaken with mischief and shenanigans and found myself thankful to be spared. Until now…

Introducing Tyna Tynsel. She’s a jolly ol’ gal with her vest and ear muffs. She rode in on an skateboard, tossed a letter from Santa (Bossy, as she calls him) to the side and declared her reign over our home. I hope she remembers to leave. I’m excited and fearful for the month. Maybe I can make friends with her to limit the destruction.

Perhaps she likes wine.

Or perhaps I’ll need wine to deal with her destruction. Standby.

_____________________

I ask you –

What brand of trouble do you think Tyna will get into?

(The post Outtakes, episode 4 + A Special Introduction first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Outtakes, episode 3

Admittedly, there’s been a few previous episodes I have not reported on but, rest assured, no news is good news.

Which leads me to this post.

It was a mess. My largest group yet (12 victims… I mean children). The video lineup got jumbled; therefore, we missed two videos. Ever the ‘wing it’ type of leader, I asked the questions sans video context and then we played games for 20 minutes. Boy were they excited.

Then, there were drum lessons. Day before. Details. I don’t think we’ve been following any type of script because suddenly the instructor was asking if we were ready to play a song. Pause. A song?!? I have yet to master a 16-note!

Side note. I wish 16-note was a euphemism for money. Side side note. Still no paycheck. Sigh.

I played a song. Have you ever played Rock Band? If so, remember when you miss the note, then it “dinks” you? Let’s just say there were more dinks than harmonized notes.

Working with kids is easier.

_____________________

I ask you –

Would you rather – work with children or learn a new hobby?

(The post Outtakes, episode 3 first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Drugs and other spooky stuff

I had an entire thought for this post, something along the lines of a refrigerator or a shelf, but now it’s disappeared like my desire to work a non-paying job. Yet I’m still doing it. So I guess this point is moot.

Mini participated in all the themed days of drug free week. I’ve probably said this before but I thought for sure I would have been offered a lot more drugs in life. Where was my chance to “just say no”? Can I try it now? Eluding to my a) current position, b) addictive genetics, and c) will to live despite present circumstances, I’ll probably continue to say no. If asked.

Photo credit: #musemom

And, of course, there was Halloween. I make far too many jokes about full-sized candy bars for someone who doesn’t eat candy. I wish I liked candy. It sounds delicious. Although I am partial to Reese’s Pieces.

Tiny spiders

My costume was minimal…stamped black spiders on the sides of my face and hand. I believe it represented how many souls I’ve stolen. Or eaten. Or whatever fun analogy exists. Muse? Oh where art thou?

Final thought: for over 90 minutes, which is probably considered less than average, we walked mini around neighborhoods to trick or treat. Halfway through the jaunt, I realized how much I missed the past 3 years while working through my PhD. It was nearly impossible to enjoy anything outside of writing because I was incredibly stressed by the need to write. I’m sad because I know I missed a lot and I cannot get it back. The fact I recognize how much I missed because I can see it now is even tougher. It was worth it, but how do you quantify worth when you missed entire Halloween shenanigans worrying about what you could be doing instead? It feels as if entire years disappeared from my memory. On the bright side, drugs didn’t do this to me.

________________

I ask you –

What has been your favorite Halloween costume?

Also, name your favorite Halloween treat!

(The post Drugs and other spooky stuff first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)