After chatting with some pretty amazing trainers (courtesy of Anytime Fitness, of course) on the topic post-race season goals, I mentioned wanting to really focus on nutrition. With a propensity to not eat enough, I knew I would need a plan that encourages me to eat and build muscle.
So a new goal was born! Keto helped me regain confidence in my body after baby, but I know I can do more. I have a short torso and long legs. I know this means nothing to you. But every woman knows a postpartum body is much different than anything before. Things change. Add breastfeeding to that and whoa! In an attempt to be transparent (I hate that word, can we just say tell the truth?!), I believe some may think I’m training for a competition. To be wildly clear, I am definitely not. But I am fascinated about enticing my body to respond in that way.
The road sign of my life
Like everything, I’ll keep you all updated right here on this journey of lean body mass. So step aside naysayers! The only stage I’m rocking is the comedy club in my head!
Wow! I certainly didn’t expect to achieve a new PR (personal record) and definitely not by 10 mins. Last November, I ran a 2:28 (again, that’s 2 hours and 28 mins) at the Norfolk Harbor Half Marathon in Norfolk, VA. On Saturday, I ran a 2:18! Before, I had a pacer and a whole group of people I was running alongside. This current race had no pacers, very little course support, and it’s a 3 mile loop – which means I am running the same route each loop. #boring
Prior to take off
But I felt good and was basically running off of pace versus staying tuned into my watch and monitoring every number. When I saw 2 hrs at almost 11.5 miles, I was tired, but I thought oh my, I could really PR today.
Overall, I’m sore. There is some hip pain and a large blister on my left foot, but I know, no matter the time, I can make it through tomorrow’s race. And even if I hate it, I have a shiny new PR as consolation!
Finish Face
Day 2 Thoughts:
When I woke up at 5am to eat my oatmeal, I wasn’t feeling it. My body was sore, the blister was looking particularly angry, and I had to give myself a long pep talk just to get out of bed. I told myself I at least had to try. It’s what I trained for. 18 weeks of training culminating in this weekend where I had two chances to prove to myself I can do it.
Completely fake smile
As I began running, seeing many of the same faces from yesterday, I started to loosen up. It got hot quick so I shed all the extra layers, including the Camelbak and ran until I was ready to either slow my pace or walk. After the first lap (remember each lap is a 5k aka 3 miles), I knew unless I broke something or was forced to stop, I would continue. Lap #3 was a philosophical turning point. I kept thinking about my Munchkin – the challenges she will face in her life and how I am preparing myself to be by her side. A thought that continues to stick with me is she is not my excuse to do hard things, sometimes she’s not even my reason. (It can be hard to convey what I mean here. Be open minded.) What she is to me is my audience. She’s always watching. And if she sees me sucking it up and and showing up every time, then perhaps those values will also translate to her own life. Time will tell.
Pain face
In saying all this, allow me to get to the point. You’re welcome! 2:27. I almost couldn’t believe it. To think I had to talk myself into getting started and these tired legs managed a what would have been a PR prior to the day before inspires confidence in a future marathon goal. I may not can walk much later – and definitely not tomorrow – but right now my smile speaks for itself.
Fritos, banana, and whatever else they’d let me eat
__________________
I ask you –
What’s my chance of feeling 100% within 24 hours? – I know, I’m laughing, too
The sign also flashes but I was standing in their yard and I didn’t want to be caught trespassing
“Rest is best, rest is best!” When I tried to find a photo of Daniel Tiger, a bottle of Jack Daniels popped up so maybe that’s the only sign you need.
Much conversation exists on the power of rest. Mental, physical, spiritual – rest binds us. It replenishes our entire body; burning the candle at both ends has been shown to decrease productivity and your ability to fight disease, among many other awful side effects.
You may have nutrition down to a science and you regularly work out, but aren’t seeing the results you deserve. Check your sleep patterns. I often encounter men and women who tell me they sleep, on average, 4 hours or less per night. WHAT?! When I recover from my shock, which has ceased because I hear this response a lot now, I ask what the reasons behind not sleeping are. Work. Family. Stress. Life. Stress about all of the above.So you’re telling me you’re stressed and not sleeping stresses you out even more so the cycle continues? Pretty much.
A common misconception is the ability to “make up” sleep. I’m guilty of this, too. As a teenager, out all night doing things we shouldn’t discuss, I figured it was okay because I could just take a long nap on Sunday and be caught up for the new week! Yeah right. Once the sleep schedule is disrupted and you’re consistently not getting enough sleep (recommended 7-8 hours nightly) then it’s gone. There’s no make up day to this portion of the test. We have failed. The only way to recover is to establish a sleep routine and stick with it.
Time refuses to stand still
As it always goes, this is easier said than done. I firmly believe some people are night owls and some of us are destined for early mornings and 8pm bedtimes. If you can’t see me waving my hands in the air, look closer. I really wish I understood this mystery. BUT – I think clocks can be reset with dedication and commitment. Perhaps the addition of a very loud alarm clock helps. In any case, losing sleep is nothing good.
____________________
I ask you –
How much sleep do you typically receive?
Are you a night owl or an early riser?
List some barriers to getting a good nights’ sleep. – Caffeine, a full stomach…
For all the ways it could have gone, there were no fistfights, duels, or police presence so that’s saying something. Tell me you have similar fears when your family gets together. Humor me. I had a recurring dream of this very scenario, but what was most telling was the fact I washed my hands of the situation and didn’t engage. This boundary training is going semi-well.
Group photo. Many of these family members I have not seen in over 10 years or more. It was by sheer amazement so many were able to be here this Thanksgiving. Definitely owe it to my beautiful, inspiring Aunt Mary Catherine – she’s the ring leader.
It only took 16 tries
My siblings and I. Long story short, my brother and I haven’t had the most solid relationship and repair is difficult. However, this photo means so much to me.
buncha’ clowns
My sweet girls. These two have made my whole life complete. I treasure every minute they can spend together. Once Munchkin was able to wrap her mind around the truth she shares her name with her great great aunt, it got much easier! They even have the same birth month. Mind boggling, I know.
Piano sold separately
Lastly, this simple photo of Aunt Mary Catherine and I. She’s 92 years of joy with the heart and soul of a woman who mixes wisdom with the patience of a saint. I can only hope I am a small vision of her selflessness.
The saint and I
Overall, this family “reunion” of sorts was comforting to my mind. It can be so hard to juggle time with family, work, keeping in touch, etc etc etc – some things tend to fall away. I love hearing the stories and seeing the new faces. Much like the fitness industry, things change so quickly…yet everything stays the same. We all want to be heard, seen. And re-charging the batteries in my heart starts right here.
_____________
I ask you –
Share the juiciest details of your family gatherings. Any shockers?!
What family member are you closest to?
Are you re-charged after family holidays? Or more in distress than ever? – it depends on the family, if you ask me!
Sometimes I refuse to allow myself to cry because eye cream is expensive and I already have forehead wrinkles. Considering trying collagen to alleviate the roadmap that is my skin. According to modern research, women should look at their mothers to determine how they will age. This isn’t going to end well, if that’s the case.
Roadmap to the stars
Also, as I have a large forehead (a fivehead, if you will) I expect to pay more over the lifetime of face lotion and sunscreen because I will use more. This is crap. And over the weekend, my naturally long eye lashes scratched my eyeball. If that’s not a first world problem, I don’t know what is!
In all seriousness, the holidays are emotionally draining to many – myself included. Frankly, I’m tired of holding people together. I once said “I’m so busy helping others when they fall apart, but when I fall apart, there’s no one there to catch me. When is my day?”. Guess that’s the trouble with being a rescuer, a fixer, an empath. Reaching out takes a toll on my sanity and my mental health.
So I’m stopping. There’s a handful of people I contact every single morning. I’m not anymore. If you want me in your life, you know where to find me. A million other people can reach out to me when they’re ready to have a two-sided conversation. I’m done trying to be everything to everyone. I owe it to myself.
But so this post doesn’t come across as selfish and (too) moody, being seen and acknowledged is most important. I see you. I acknowledge your struggles and that you may need to do things for yourself only. Totally get it. However, the doormat days are over and the door is slowly closing. In terms of fitness and physical health, the flip side of the coin is finding things you love to do and will sustain long term well-being. Running and exercise in general does that for most people. Keep it in mind as you traverse the holiday season.
Struggling
Lastly, a few members shared their thoughts about me and the words ‘customer service guru’ were thrown out there. I’ll take that as a win. Double lastly, I have a fear of dumpsters. Just leaving that here.
_____________
I ask you –
How long do you think this mood will last? – copious amounts of Midol isn’t helping
Any suggestions on these wrinkles (nothing involving needles, please)?
Tell me a time when your personal resolution to yourself was successful.
Offhand I can’t think how revenge will fit into one of my posts, but I’m sure it will somewhere at some point. The word harboring led me down a path to the above quote about revenge. You know, in those moments of exhaustion and disappointment in dealing with people you have no control over, i.e. parents, relatives, etc. In life we do so much to please others, to accommodate them and their feelings, but we end up losing sight of what matters to us. Cue the disappointment.
Similar situation: you’ve worked your behind off in the gym, counted every calorie, drank nothing but water day in and day out ye still don’t see the results you know you deserve. Disappointment and self doubt set it. “Why are you even doing this? It would be easier to give up. Who really cares anyway?” All lines of self doubt. My personal favorite: “That’s what you get, Kel.” Damage is done when this crosses your lips. It must be stopped long before reaching the point of no return. But how?
Pre-gaming a run with a huge bucket of popcorn = never disappointing
By letting go of your expectations. Granted, expectations are wonderful to have. We have them of ourselves and of everyone around us. They’re truly useful! Until they’re not. Until they eat away, leaving you devoid of hope and gratitude. Expectations can even leave you feeling disappointed in the expectation itself! Who’s idea was this anyway?! The holidays always find a way to suck the life out of me. Expectations run high – I must juggle mommy life with work life with relative life with happy life. It’s no secret: I don’t love the holidays. News flash: sometimes I don’t like them at all. Because, as a child, they were a constant source of disappointment. Not like I didn’t get the toy I wanted for Christmas-type of disappointment. Much deeper. And as hard as I try to change the expectation each year, not being able to control how others impact my plans is tough.
When life takes you left, steer right. I was listening to this great podcast the other day (the name currently escapes me…standby) and the host said something to the effect of “balance is bullsh*t”. I’m paraphrasing, but she really did use those words. There’s no such thing as balance?! Wait a minute. From the time you were a small child, a life of balance has been openly discussed. If I don’t have balance, then what do I have? You have an expectation of balance, but balance isn’t real. Unless it’s what keeps you from tipping over whilst standing on 1 foot. The ideal 50/50 is unobtainable. Something in your life will always hold tight to a part of you, be it parenthood, your job, your commitment to yourself, whatever it is. May I say this awakened the part of me that always felt shame for not having it together? If I don’t have this so-called balance crap, but there’s no expectation to have it anyway, why am I wasting my time worrying about it?
Now…I’m not.
Chai has my heart – mostly for its relaxing effects
Mantra: At any moment, I will be pulled into thousands of different directions. I will do my best to navigate what is best for me and the people who depend on me. I am not tethered to my own expectations or those of anyone else. I am free of the balance construct. I will tilt, bend, and list to both port and starboard, but I will not break. I may feel disappointment in others and, whether justified or not, I am allowed to feel this way.
_____________
I ask you –
Is this psychology degree paying off or what?!
What is your most prevalent emotion?
Tell me what in your life sucks the soul from you.
My apologies there’s no photos for this post – since I didn’t personally attend the marathon myself, I would have had to use stock photos and those just aren’t as much fun!
After conversing with several people who ran the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM), I’m toggling between keeping my commitment to running it as my first (read: potentially only) marathon. As much as I love people, 50,000 of them makes my heart race. Even if I was to start and stay in the back of the pack, the chance of being exceptionally close to any runner is still high. Though course support is definitely what the MCM has in full force, my decision is based on other factors, as well.
Location, travel, training, and weather have me questioning the MCM. I can only imagine how beautiful the DC area is in the Fall and I love traveling so those aren’t my concerns. The training plan is a little iffy, but the weather I have to train in is highest on my list and the sheer amount of other runners is numero dos. It may seem silly to worry about these things; however, when you pour your time and money into an activity you always hope for the best outcome. Control freak much?
Training through the summer is limited in my own situation. The notorious Texas heat translates to a lot of indoor treadmill running which, in my opinion, doesn’t mimic outdoor running well. I can definitely tell a difference when I’ve trained primarily on a treadmill vs. outdoors. Also, and I know I keep circling back to it, I have no desire to run within arm’s distance of hundreds of people for 26.2 miles. That’s a big no thanks from me. So what’s my other options?
Option A: Find a new marathon. Not a bad idea. Although I loved the idea of the MCM because it’s a veteran’s support community, there are tons of other marathons available. By being a little more choosy on what marathon to participate in, I can decide what fits my training cycle best, too. I could find a local (Texas) marathon in the Spring – I’d already looked at a few of them before. Or…
Option B: Run the MCM. Surely I can recruit at least one other person to run with me that day. Perhaps someone who has already completed it and would like to voluntold themselves to be my pacer/motivator/conversationalist. Also someone who won’t allow me to take a hard turn to port when the going gets tough. Anyone? No? That’s ok because the beauty in being voluntold is it’s not really an option! Standby for heavy rolls. Side note: it took 3 tries to get that verbiage correct and I know 95% of my readers have no Navy experience but for the 5% who do – please appreciate my intent!
The bright side is there’s still plenty of time to decide. Unless I want to go with a marathon in Spring 2020. But I committed to writing then. So writing I must. Training will continue, but I don’t know for what race. The show must go on!
Have you read the story of the person who changed their Roomba to curse when it bumps into things? That’s me! I’m the cursing Roomba! How do you think the gym gets clean? Fairies?!
The other day I mentioned a need for someone to follow me around and take notes of the great things I dream of when running. It’s mostly nonsense and can span the range of highly emotional to very inspirational. Any takers? Bring your own golf cart.
That time I fell into a washing machine (not really) but it’s very possible
Friends and family joke about the volume of calls I’ve made to local law enforcement on the drive. Seriously though, I see the most random s**t! The other night my own neighbor tried to run me off the road in his white challenger. If I hadn’t been too tired to fight back and also fearful he had a gun, I would’ve stopped and yelled. I’m only assuming it was a male, I really don’t know. Women must band together. But I would’ve yelled at her, too!
Here’s a few other random things:
Lucky Charms. Yes. The end.
Cereal and books – all a girl needs
Look at all these leaves! One day it was 75° and beautiful out. The next was 25° and wind gusts to 40mph. The aftermath –
Nevermind the sucker
Happy (almost) Thanksgiving to you all. I will return next week with stories of family, humor, and, let’s hope not, violence. But have you met my family? Anything is possible. Please answer all collect calls.
_____________________
I ask you –
Is there a patent on the cursing Roomba or is there still room for me in that market?
What’s your favorite cereal? – Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch: my top 2
Where are you traveling for Thanksgiving? Any tips for keeping my sanity?
Should be no secret cards are my love language. I enjoy the process of writing a message inside a blank card, addressing it, placing the correct postage on the front of the envelope, and raising the small red flag on my mailbox to indicate I have something important to be delivered.
Recently I mailed 3 cards within a few days of each other, for various reasons. Usually cards are a ‘just because’. Remember opening the mailbox when you were a child and receiving a colorful envelope with your very own name on it? Did you feel excited? Even as adults that same feeling still exists. And it’s amazing. My grandmothers and great aunt instilled in me a sense of thankfulness. It was required as a child to send thank you cards after holidays and birthdays and any other time you received a gift. Some may say this is an antiquated practice now – who has time to send a thank you card. I do. You do.
Truth be told, I felt a little disappointed when I didn’t receive a response from the cards I sent. Only 1 of the 3 recipients said thank you for thinking of them. A real thank you. One didn’t reply at all. Tis better to give than to receive. However, acknowledgment goes a long way. My feelings may have been a little hurt at the lack of thanks…but I think the real culprit was the level of appreciation, i.e. I’m not sure if it was there.
Practice thankfulness
Do you appreciate what your body does for you? How often do you consider all the work your fingers, hands, and feet complete in a day? It may seem silly. We often take for granted what others do for us and, in that, we’re taking for granted what we do for ourselves. We treat our bodies like garbage cans, feeding it junk and expecting it to give a peak performance. Trash in, trash out.
The symbolism between writing cards to express your feelings for someone and showing your body gratitude is not lost on me. No, I don’t see anyone writing letters to themselves, though maybe we should, but your soul’s love language may be equal if not greater than the love you show yourself by treating your body well. Massage. Healthy foods. Strength training. Conditioning. Working on balance. All ways to treat your body right. I know we get busy and we forget to say thank you. But you should thank yourself every day in some small way.
Written with love
__________________
I ask you –
What’s your love language?
How does the above indicate how you treat yourself?
Do you know how to mail a letter and address it properly?
PRT (physical readiness test for all you non-Navy people) next week so I should probably start running today. Right? Ummm no.
Swimsuit season begins tomorrow so Monday should be a good time to have the body I want to achieve. Right? Again, no.
Are you getting the drift or do I need to input more examples of how this never works? Honestly, I don’t get it. In our society of instant potatoes (that’s what I call our propensity to have everything we want immediately) why do we wait so long to make changes to ourselves? Why do we wait until the doctor says we have heart disease to realize our weight, lifestyle, and choices are out of control?
I think it’s because we don’t notice the small changes day to day. For example, you mowed the grass last weekend. Each day it’s been slowly growing back to its prior form. But you won’t notice until next Friday when you drive by. The grass didn’t grow overnight. It gradually made its way to shin-length. Same with our health. But the more you “let it go”, the more it goes. I’m a free agent – I cannot be controlled!
So when did this happen? Today. Yesterday. It keeps happening! But we’re busy people and we don’t realize it until it is too late. Except it’s never too late!
What is wrong with starting today? NOTHING! I post regularly about making changes immediately. We both know if you say tomorrow then something will come up and tomorrow will be pushed further into the future. Today looks like the only choice to me. Do it.
“candy wrapper dreams”
A very lovely lady in my life likes to use the phrase “I’m in good shape for the shape I’m in!” Her advanced age brings about a certain wisdom and truth that can only come from living as healthily and happily as possible. Do you wonder what you’ll be like as you age? All the time! Will I be an angry old lady because I didn’t live the life meant for me or will I be teaching the millenial alternative to step aerobics at age 95? Time will tell. Days progress and march forward like tiny ants on their way to the candy wrapper dreams are made of.
Running on Fumes 
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